Chapter 20
Sidney
In the strained silence that followed Zane’s declaration, I announced, “I need a bath.”
I strode into the bathroom before Zane or Finn could say a word, and ran the water at its most scalding temperature. I submerged myself in the bath of lava, wanting the punishing heat to penetrate to my bones. Wanting it to hurt.
The House of Whispers. By Aetherius’s light.
For a moment, I closed my eyes and rested my too-heavy body. I could’ve sunk straight into rest if it weren’t for the restlessness of my thoughts.
Like any good slayer, I knew the names of the highest-ranked vampires and most monstrous threats to come from the western part of Pythia. They were formidable, arguably stronger than the House of the Sanguine now that they’d conquered the Emerald Cradle borough.
I’d always thought of the House of Whispers as a necessary evil. Dismantling my grandmother’s work made a void, and the rival coven flowed in to claim what was left behind. It was what it was.
As I cleansed the smell of the road, sweat, and tytoursus musk lingering on my body, I shook my head.
Perhaps this trial would strike at the heart of our rivals.
A necessary act. Now that I was in position to destroy the House of the Sanguine from within, I had to be mindful of the balance of vampiric power.
I couldn’t allow the House of Whispers to grow unchecked as collateral for my revenge.
“Remember whose blood stains your nightmares. There is no gray area. There is the light of Aetherius, and there is the dark,” Carlyle had said. And he was right. The only good vampire was a corpse. Except…
There was a muffled knock at the door to my quarters and the hush of a male voice as Zane answered. My stomach soured, and bile coated the back of my throat, as if my body were rejecting and attempting to vomit up my conflicting thoughts.
The only good vampire is a corpse, unless their names are Zane or Finn. My two mates, as of the half-moon. Tomorrow.
Holy shit. I was about to be mated. It should’ve been cause for a celebration, not this tempest of guilt and fear and elation churning in my gut.
How could I make exceptions to the absolutism of Aetherius’s light?
Yet how could I call myself a slayer if I loved two vampires? My hands knew the balance of steel better than mercy, and they always would. I was trying to occupy a gray area that didn’t exist.
No. I won’t let that happen. I’m still in control.
I needed to cross some names off my list and prove I was still righteous. “Action over…” I was saying to myself when there was a knock at the bathroom door.
“Knock, knock,” Zane said on the other side. I suppressed a chuckle at the sheer relief I felt when his voice chased away the darkness floating in my thoughts. “A servant came by. You’ve got two letters to read and a function to attend.”
“I’d rather drown,” I deadpanned.
“Says the girl who liked to read everything on Dr. Hillman’s shelf.”
“They were educational!”
“For fun,” he added. Undoubtedly, he’d just made a dramatic shiver to go along with the words.
I rolled my eyes. “My ire was for going to a function tonight.”
“And then she’d tell me all about what she’d read and learned, even though I understood maybe a third of what she was saying,” he narrated as if he wasn’t listening, cracking the door open and peeking in.
“Not drowning, I see. That’s good! Finn and I were worried you were going to fall asleep in here. ”
I couldn’t help a small smile. “I’ll be right out.”
“I’ll tell you about the function once you are.” He lingered by the doorway, the silence between us growing taut, charged with the anticipation of tomorrow. My hands went through the motions of cleaning. Soon, I had a towel tied around my torso and was wringing my hair over the draining tub.
“All right, what horrors await?” I pitched the question as a joke as I went to the powder room mirror and stared at my reflection. The refreshed illusion of Ilyana didn’t hide the dark circles under my eyes nor the slack, fatigued expression. “Oh, I see. I’m the horror.”
Zane leaned down to press a kiss to my temple. The touch was warm, a solid anchor I needed with my lingering uncertainty. “It’s not that bad.”
In the mirror, I watched as he kissed a path down my face. The sight of his mouth on my skin, paired with the heat of each touch, sent a deep pull through my core. When he reached my lips, I turned my head to meet him.
“It’s pretty bad,” I informed him after pulling away. I went rifling through my makeup, looking for some miracle to hide my sleeplessness. It was a shame I hadn’t brought many cosmetics. In the usual austerity of Lord Aetherius, I’d overlooked this particular need.
While I patted powder on my baggy undereyes, Zane said, “The function is in two hours. It’s going to be dinner and a show. The servant made it very clear that it’s for candidates to the throne only.”
I hummed. Undoubtedly, this was some sort of reward for surviving the labyrinth.
And after the show…I wouldn’t put it past Mathias to announce the second trial while we were all glutted on blood and self-congratulations.
My mouth watered, and I swallowed forcefully.
I needed to eat another ration bar before I left so I wasn’t as tempted to sip on any blood.
I kept applying makeup, my thoughts drifting.
“Okay, sunshine. What’s going on in that head of yours?” Zane asked playfully.
“Huh? Oh. That I should try to elevate my hair. I bet all the other vampiresses are going to be back in their finery.” I frowned at my reflection again.
The cosmetics were a second mask, further hiding the truth.
The weight of my falsehoods was becoming unwieldy.
How long would it take until I looked in the mirror and forgot what I really looked like?
His hands settled on my shoulders, thumbs tracing slow circles. “That’s not all. There’s something else you’re not telling me.”
When I turned to look up at him, his gaze was soft on mine.
“The half-moon is tomorrow.” I watched for doubt or jealousy to flash over his expression. The vampiric amber in his eyes glowed instead as he grinned, fangs and all. A hungry, wolfish look, as if he’d devour me rather than make me his mate when the half-moon rose.
Unbidden, Carlyle’s words threaded through the back of my mind. “You can’t trust him. He’s a monster now, like all the rest of them!”
I turned away abruptly, hoping Zane didn’t notice my wince. It was as if Carlyle had supplanted the voice of doubt in my head and made it twice as loud.
There was no sign of Finn as I went to select an outfit for the evening. Zane watched me dress until I finished wrestling into one of Ilyana’s burgundy gowns and presented him with the undone lacings up my back.
“A friend once said I’d be the laughingstock of the court if I was out in public with my dress improperly tied.”
“Which friend was this?” He began lacing me into the heavy garment.
I opened my mouth to reply, just to tilt my head as an insistent voice sounded outside my room. “Please, I want to see her!” Someone tried the doorknob into my quarters, jiggling it in frustration.
“Speak of the vampiress,” I said dryly. “You may as well let her in.”
Zane finished tying me into my dress first. Then, he went to open the door for Felicity. She came inside immediately, and Finn trailed behind her with a cart full of food, already chewing on a buttered sourdough roll. He popped the rest in his mouth and wiped his hands on his pants.
Sorry. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, he signed behind the noble vampiress’s back.
Tears pricked Felicity’s eyes from the moment they landed on me.
“Ilya! Where have you been? You are the absolute talk of the entire coven! And you didn’t think to”—she flapped her hands by her sides—“I don’t know, come by and say hello after the Flask of Dominion passed judgment on you?
Or maybe pen me a little letter saying everything was okay after the Lord Regent stole you away in such a gauche fashion? ”
“I’m the talk of the coven?” I echoed dubiously. That was a level of attention I definitely didn’t want. “I’m okay. The Flask just told me to bind Finn into my Devotion tomorrow, and all will be forgiven. I’ve passed the first trial.”
“Oh, praise Lady Eona, a proper Devotion at last!” She looked between Zane and Finn, nodding her approval.
“I’m glad to see you before the show. Razira’s been worried too, and I just know Emmeline is going to have a hundred questions for you.
” She spoke like a twittering bird, complete with a fluttery little laugh.
“A lot of us do, fair warning. No one’s managed to charm the king-in-waiting, but… ”
Finn picked up a turkey leg from the cart, licking his lips as it dripped grease.
“Oh, is that what this is about?” Zane’s low tone was unlike him, an edge hidden just under his words. “Our courtship is none of your business.”
“Wait,” I beseeched quietly. He’d jumped to a conclusion, assuming Felicity’s intentions. But he didn’t know her yet, not like I did.
She’d just warned us of a serious issue brewing. Maybe my friend would accept a brusque answer, but if the whole of Sanguine was wondering about “King” Zane and me, we would only arouse suspicions without a decent explanation.
Think. What would a vampiress do to win over a powerful devotee?
I willed Zane through a meaningful glance to play along.
“Zane and I have been courting for a while. With his shadow magic, he can easily come and go as he pleases.” Nothing I said was technically a lie.
“He will be my devotee because he believes I will make a strong queen, especially with his support. We share ideological goals.”
Zane’s lips pressed into a whitened line. Behind Felicity, Finn put down the turkey leg and signed, I deal… lodge owl… ghouls? with a puzzled squint, then lifted his hands in a questioning gesture.