Chapter 27
Icouldn’t feel my body. What the hell had just happened? One minute I had been pushing this man away with everything I had in me and the next, I was naked under him.
Three orgasms. THREE? I hadn’t even ever managed a real one by myself and he’d just played my body like his own personal instrument.
Holy shit. It was like he’d stepped out of the pages of one of my romance novels. Was it like this for everyone? Had I died recently? Was this Heaven?
“Becks?” Lucas’ gruff voice broke into my train of thought.
I blinked up at him, still dazed as he looked down at me worriedly, “You okay?”
“Yes,” I answered. Seemingly still incapable of any other intelligent speech. He’d apparently fucked that right out of me.
He grinned, suddenly seeming to catch on. Then started slowly withdrawing. A twinge of pain made me grimace and he paused his movements, “Fuck. Did I hurt you?” he asked.
“No, I’m ok. Just a little sore,” I assured him, shifting. I guess thirteen years without sex and having a baby did that to you. I felt like I did after I’d lost my virginity. Although this was definitely more of a memorable experience than that.
“Becks?”
Dammit. I was spiraling. “I’m fine,” I said again. “You didn’t hurt me, I promise. Everything was…great,” I said, blushing.
“Great?” he repeated again, smirking. He was laying on his side now, propped up on his elbow. His hair was disheveled from my fingers and he looked like sin with the sheet draped over his waist. Jesus. Those were definitely my fingernail marks on his arms and shoulders.
“Oh my God. Maybe I should be asking if I hurt you?” I asked, sitting up and holding the sheet to my chest.
He glanced down at himself, grinning even wider, if that were possible. “These? I may get my guy to tattoo over them. Make them permanent. Or I could just fuck you like that every day and keep them fresh.”
I had to be fire engine red.
He laughed, tilting his head back, reaching out and grabbing the back of my neck, pulling me to him, and kissing me gently.
He rested his forehead against mine and whispered, “Promise me you won’t ever talk about leaving like that again. I get a say now, Becks. You’re not alone.”
My heart hurt hearing the pain in his voice. I couldn’t believe this man cared about me this much. We’d only known each other for a little less than half a year, and here he was staking his claim like he never wanted me to leave. I didn’t know it could be like this. I regretted every time I’d ever settled before him.
“I promise,” I whispered back.
“I love you,” he breathed, staring straight into my eyes.
I looked at him, completely taken back, speechless again.
“You don’t have to say it yet. But I needed to. I needed you to know that I’m all in, Rebecca. I promised Nat earlier tonight that I wouldn’t let you go anywhere. I have come to love that little girl too. You may be used to taking care of everything and handling it on your own, but you don’t have to do that anymore. You’re not a burden. Not when people love you. I fucking hate anyone ever made you feel that way.”
I was teary-eyed now, but I nodded. He kissed my forehead, “I’m going to go run you a bath. It’ll probably help with the soreness, yeah?” he asked softly.
This terrifying man. He was giving me a minute alone to process everything he’d just said. I watched him walk away towards a door in the corner of the room flipping the light on. Must be the master bath. I flopped down on my back and stared up through the skylight at the moon and stars overhead.
Did I love Lucas Marshall?
I didn’t even know if I was capable of the feeling or trusting someone enough to ever love again. I cared an awful lot about him. I would die if anything ever happened to him. I knew in my heart, I couldn’t ever leave him. This solidified that decision.
Not that I thought he’d let me get very far.
Somewhere deep down in my soul, I knew he wasn’t the type that would refrain from packing up everything and chasing me to the ends of the Earth.
I sighed, listening to the water running in the other room. I needed to figure something out though. I was scared for Natasha and myself. I was even scared for anyone attached to us. Lucas, Monica and her family.
I’d let myself open up and so many people had found their way in. I couldn’t let any of them get hurt. I needed to figure out how to get Lucas to dig deeper. Search harder, to see if there was any sign of Clark anywhere. I wondered what they’d found out at the station, if anything yet.
It was terrifying to know that either he or Larry had been right outside my front door, trying to get into my home. The home I’d built for my child. Then right outside my bedroom window. How dare they? Somewhere under the fear, there was a bitter anger stirring in my gut. I was so mad, and had missed so much in life already by not being able to settle and let myself get to know people.
I wasn’t so sure I’d be the cowering woman Clark would expect out of me, if we came face to face again. Motherhood did that to a woman but so did this new emotion towards all the people that were in my life now. The sense of duty to protect them. I wondered if that’s how Lucas felt with his badge and job.
I didn't know how long I laid there, listening to the water running, and Lucas humming, in the other room before he came back to the doorway.
“Bath’s ready.”
I sat up and smiled at him.
I decided I wasn’t going to worry about anything else tonight. Not when I had someone like Lucas taking care of me and keeping me safe for an evening.
I knew Nat was safe where she was. What were the odds of being in a relationship with a cop, after all this time, and becoming best friends with someone who was married to one? It was almost like it was meant to be.
“Rebecca, listen. All we know is that there are pictures of you all over that thumb drive. That’s the only thing on it. Different places around town, and with Lucas. There’s none of Nat. It’s like they followed you to work and didn’t want to cross that line involving a kid. He is definitely not aware she is his, or he’d probably have made a move long before this.”
I nodded at Nick, grateful for that at least. My hands were still shaking, thinking about the fact that Lucas was on there too. Monica and her family weren’t though. And Natasha was safe. I had to remember to stop and appreciate the small wins right now.
“So what do we do now?” I asked.
Lucas reached over, laying his hand on mine.
“Well. We’re obviously still on the lookout for both Clark, and this Larry asshole,” Nick said. “We still haven’t been able to track anything down on your ex. But Larry is raising red flags all over the place. We got notice just last night that he’d been out at a bar. They found him in an alley, assaulting a woman, but he got away.”
Lucas growled beside me.
“Civilians weren’t able to hold him there, Lucas,” Nick informed him. “He had a gun and was threatening people. He took off. The woman was fine. Shaken up, but she was able to give a statement, and someone even got a blurry picture of him. We know it was the same guy that was in here talking to you.”
I could hear Lucas grinding his teeth beside me. He obviously couldn't handle not being in control of the situation.
Last night had been a dream come true. After a long, hot bath I’d come out to Lucas in gray joggers with fresh fruit and my favorite soda. We’d eaten and talked for hours, the sun turning the sky violet and lavender over our heads before he’d kissed me and we’d gone to sleep.
Three hours later my phone rang and it was the station with news, so we rushed down here. I was beyond grateful for Lucas’ attentiveness. He had comfy clothes for me, and even some of my favorite shower products. I was going to have to adjust to being this thoroughly taken care of, but I could admit it was comforting
“Until then, I really wouldn’t feel comfortable with you and Nat going back to the apartment,” said Nick, breaking my train of thought. “I would recommend you staying with Lucas or Paul and his family.”
I nodded numbly, wondering how on Earth it had come to this again.
When we exited the station through the main door, Lucas grabbed my hand, stopping me on the sidewalk.
“Stay with me,” he asked softly. “Please? I can’t be on the case, but at least I can feel like I’m taking care of you two if you’re under my roof. You don’t have to share my room, I’ve got two guest rooms. No running. I can’t handle you trying to leave me again,” he practically begged.
I stared up at him, “Lucas, I’m not going to run. But…having a teen around all the time is a lot all at once. Not to mention she has her friend glued to her side most of the time.”
“Hey. I happen to love that preteen, and her friend. I’ve been hanging out with Paul and Monica for years and going to their weekly dinners. I’ve watched Lacey and Lexi grow up and even babysat them a few times,” he said. “Natasha wouldn’t ever be a bother to me and you know that. Stop making excuses and let me take care of you both.”
I sighed, turning to step further onto the sidewalk, “Fine, but I’m not staying in the guest room. Natasha is going to have to get used to us being together at some point if I’m never allowed to leave you.”
His huge, tattooed arms grabbed me around the waist, pulling me back against him, and a laugh escaped me.
“Now, we just need to figure out how to keep her mother quiet in the bedroom,” he whispered against my ear. “You were practically screaming for me last night, sweetheart.”
I tossed my head back, laughing again as my core heated at the memory. Even with all this fear and uncertainty the man could make me laugh and want him. I hadn’t ever dreamed I’d have something like this in my life.
“Becks!” Monica’s voice called me from across the street. I waved and eagerly crossed to meet her and the girls.
“Paul back from patrol?” Monica asked Lucas, looking at the station.
“Not yet,” he answered. “They said he was due back any minute.”
She nodded, smiling, “How are you?” she asked, looking at me worriedly.
“I’m fine,” I said reassuringly. “Lucas took great care of me, I added.
Monica smirked and raised an eyebrow, “I bet he did. The girls wanted to go shopping this morning downtown. There’s a new bookstore that opened on the next street over. The ice cream parlor is right next door. They said they wanted to stop there. Would you and Lucas mind running them there while I wait for a few and say hi to Paul?”
“Uh, I actually gotta run back into the station, too. I forgot something I can work on at home. I’ll walk you over there. You’ll be okay for a few with the girls, babe?” Lucas asked.
“Sure,” I replied, “I haven’t had these three to myself in too long,” I said teasingly to the girls, kissing the top of Nat’s head. Lucas tugged me back to him and kissed me briefly on the lips before pulling away. I looked over to Nat staring at us with wide eyes and a big smile on her face. Lexi and Lacey were giggling.
“I’ll see you all in a little bit. Tell Paul I said hi!”
“Will do,” Monica agreed, hugging each of her girls briefly. “See you in a few minutes. Be good for Becks. Stay with each other.”
“Don’t go wandering off alone, any of you,” reaffirmed Lucas, staring right at me and I nodded reassuringly.
I watched them briefly as they crossed the street again, before turning back to the girls.
“So, how much ice cream did Monica promise you?” I asked.
“She said one scoop each,” Lacey said, with her typical sixteen year old doom and gloom. She would obviously, rather be headed onto the shopping portion of the day.
“Well…if I didn’t hear that and we get two scoops each before she gets there, no harm no foul, right?” I asked.
This drew a grin from even the older teenager.