Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
As Leo walks through the lobby of the posh hotel he’s staying at in Paris, lost in thought on his way to the elevator bank, he stops in his tracks when he sees the woman coming toward him.
“Billie?”
“Oh, hi, Leo,” she says coolly, looking up from her phone.
“I didn’t expect to run into you,” Leo says. “Are you here for the French Open?”
She grins. “You don’t think twice when Gabe extends an invite to Paris.”
Leo’s heart leaps. “Wait, is he staying here?”
“I’m … not sure if I should say. And I’m just on my way out. But it was nice bumping into you, Leo,” she says.
After they part, Leo slinks away, feeling defeated, but then he notices that her heels have suddenly stopped clacking on the marble floor. He turns around and sees her looking at him.
“Room 331,” she says, sighing. As she turns for the exit, she looks him up and down and adds, “You never saw me.”
Standing outside Gabe’s room, Leo simply stares at the room number, waiting for his hand to raise and knock on the door. Am I doing it? he thinks.
He is not.
He maybe should have gone back to his room and prepared for how this confrontation would go, but instead he immediately got on the elevator after his run-in with Billie, pressed the button for the third floor, and found himself here.
He was ecstatic that the universe handed him this opportunity.
He couldn’t wait another moment. They’re staying at the same hotel?
How did he not know that Gabe was right under his nose this whole time?
When Leo finally moves to knock, Gabe opens the door first.
“Mierda,” Gabe shouts, stepping back in surprise. “Leo, what the hell?”
“Sorry, sorry,” Leo says, cringing. “I’ve only been standing here for a few minutes.”
“That’s not a short time to be standing outside someone’s door,” Gabe says, deadpan.
“Yeah, I just heard how that sounded,” Leo says and laughs a little, hoping to cut the tension. It doesn’t work.
“Can I help you with something?” Gabe asks flatly. “I need to catch up with Billie.”
“Billie’s here?” Leo asks, his voice going up one octave too many, a terrible actor.
Gabe looks at him, unimpressed. “I think you know that.”
“No, no, I, um, got your room number from the front desk,” he says, doubling down.
“Uh huh.” Gabe crosses his arms.
“Can we talk?” Leo asks cautiously.
Gabe sighs and looks down at the floor. “Leo, I don’t know, I—”
“Please,” Leo adds, his eyes pleading.
After an excruciating few seconds, Gabe gestures for him to come in.
“Wow,” Leo says as he steps inside. “Your view is way better than mine.”
Through the French doors, which lead out to a small balcony glistening in the gentle afternoon light, he can see the Arc de Triomphe in the distance, Paris stretching out in every direction around it.
When he glances toward the bed, he notices what looks like a romance novel on Gabe’s nightstand, alongside a pair of glasses and an empty mug with the string of a tea bag hanging over the side.
“Congrats on the round of sixteen,” Leo says. “That must’ve felt great, to get those match wins. I knew you’d be back at it soon.”
“Thanks,” Gabe says. “Did you just want to talk tennis or—”
“I miss you,” Leo says abruptly.
Gabe, who has the audacity to be wearing a black T-shirt with the sleeves cuffed, looks immediately disarmed.
“I know I hurt you, and I know I should’ve apologized sooner,” Leo continues.
“But I’m really sorry. I’m sorry that I asked you to leave that night at my place.
That was a mistake. I freaked out because, well, I don’t know about you, but I did not see this coming.
You know, with us. After all this time. My dad had also just told me he was coming back on tour and he seemed so happy, and he told me that if I want to have a shot at the US Open, I can’t have any distractions. It got in my head, and I panicked.”
“Leo—”
“Wait, just let me finish. I’ve had a lot of time to think over the past couple months.
You’re not a distraction, Gabe. Not to me.
Not to any player. Not to tennis. It was wrong of me to push you away.
Getting closer to you has been the best part of my year.
You’ve made me feel happier and more at home on the court and with myself than I have in a while.
Maybe you’re back to hating me again, but I needed to make sure I told you that. ”
Leo might not have taken a breath during his entire monologue. He inhales deeply, and then lets it go. He can’t read Gabe’s face. He’s just standing there, arms crossed, staring at Leo.
“I don’t hate you,” Gabe finally says. “You suck, Leo, but I don’t hate you.
I was hurt after that night. I figured you were caught off guard.
I was too. I never expected to be making out with Leo Chambers, in his kitchen, at a fucking game night.
But after all those talks we had … I don’t know.
I just thought, Well, he must’ve satisfied some curiosity, and then realized he wasn’t interested anymore.
I felt rejected. And stupid. Familiar feelings, you know? ”
“I know,” Leo says. “I hate that I made you feel that way. I’m really sorry.”
“I appreciate it,” Gabe says, uncrossing his arms and putting his hands in his pockets.
“For what it’s worth,” Leo says, “you weren’t just some curiosity. I understand if maybe the moment’s passed now. But if you’re willing to give me a chance, I hope we can at least … reinstate the truce?”
Gabe studies him for a moment. “That could be arranged.”
Leo smiles, still feeling cautious. “Okay, well, I don’t want to make you any later for Billie. And I should get going, too. But thank you for hearing me out.”
“I’m glad you came by,” Gabe says.
As Leo approaches the door, he feels compelled to ask. “Did you know? About me?”
“What?” Gabe asks, smiling slightly. “That you’re into guys?”
“Yeah, that I’m gay,” Leo says, and as these words spill out, he realizes it’s the first time he’s allowed someone in his life to hear them.
He also realizes that it never even crossed his mind until now that Gabe could have easily told people about their kiss, that he could have easily outed Leo at some point over the last two months.
But he doesn’t need to ask whether Gabe has told anyone, other than Billie, of course. He already knows the answer.
“Yeah, I had been wondering,” Gabe says, shrugging. Then he raises an eyebrow. “But the moment you told me you were into The Golden Girls? I stopped.”
“Hm, yeah, that wasn’t … not code,” Leo says.
He opens the door and as he steps out, he turns.
“Hey, I know we, like, just reinstated the truce two seconds ago, but if you and Billie are free tonight, Tess has some big thing planned since it’s our last night in Paris.
She’s calling me, her, and Ollie the ‘Unsweet 16’ since we all lost in the fourth round.
But you’re in that club, too, so if you feel like joining, you’re more than welcome. ”
“I’ll think about it, see how Billie’s feeling,” Gabe says, nodding. “Thanks, Leo.”
On his way to the elevators, Leo has yet another run-in.
“Jesse?”
“Leo!”
“What, is everyone staying here this year?” Leo says.
“Who else is staying here?” Jesse asks.
“Oh, um,” Leo stumbles, unsure if he should mention that he’s coming from Gabe’s room. “I’m just heading to see my friend Tess right now. She’s a few floors up.”
“Ah, nice,” Jesse says. “She’s having quite the season.”
“Yeah, she’s been smashing it all year,” Leo says. “You should really have her on the podcast sometime.”
“Good idea,” Jesse says with a smile. “I was at your fourth-round match, by the way. I know that was probably a tough loss, but damn, the fans were getting their life.”
“I’m glad,” Leo says with a laugh, “because I was fighting for mine by the end.”
“Well, it was fun to watch,” Jesse says, big brown eyes sparkling. “Speaking of fun to watch, no doubles for you anymore? You and Gabe really had the crowd going back in Miami, just saying.”
“Yeah, I, um, just want to focus on singles for now. Trying to build up some momentum heading into the summer,” Leo says.
“Mmm, yeah. Makes sense.”
Though, something tells Leo it doesn’t. The conversation stalls.
“Well, I gotta go talk to Tess, but it was great bumping into you,” Leo says, stretching for a tone of normalcy again. “And thanks for watching my match.”
“Anytime,” Jesse says, a lilt in his voice. “It was good to see you, Leo.”
Visiting what feels like every guest at the hotel, Leo journeys on, feeling uplifted by his conversation with Gabe, and finds himself outside Tess’s door next. He knocks, and before she can even utter a word to greet him, he spits out, “I have feelings for Gabe.”
She slams the door in his face.
Leo is briefly horrified—until he hears her scream on the other side at an octave he’s never heard from her before.
She reopens the door. “Sorry, I didn’t want security called on us. Oh my God. Get in here.”
Her hair wrapped up in a towel, her white plush robe flowing behind her, Tess whisks Leo over to the edge of the bed and sits down with him.
“My angel, first of all, I just want to say, I’m here for you, I’m here for this, and I’m really grateful you want to share this with me.”
“How are you so perfect?” Leo says through a laugh.
“Back atcha. Now, dish.”
“Okay, well, the Spark Notes version? We’ve gotten much closer this year, practicing together and playing doubles and messaging each other, and then at my game night, we sort of, like, made out in my kitchen.”
Afraid of the banshee cry that’s likely going to pour out of her, Leo puts his hand up and quickly adds, “But I fucked up and pushed him away, and we didn’t talk for the last two months.”
Tess winces.
“But I actually just came here from his room.”
“M. Night Shyamalan would be proud of the twists in this story,” she says.
“I think I made things right. And I told him how much it’s meant to me, getting to know him and all. And I invited him and Billie to come out with us tonight.”
“Wait, Billie’s here, too?” she asks.
“Yeah, I ran into her in the lobby and she gave me his room number. That’s how I knew where to find him.”
“Wow. All right. So,” Tess says, leaning back on her elbows with an extended exhale. She’s staring at the dresser in front of them, seemingly collecting her thoughts. “Where to start.”
“Yeah.”
She sits up and takes Leo’s hands in hers, looking at him with a focus that tells him she’s fully here, seeing him.
“Well, let me start with this: Thank you, thank you, thank you for telling me, Leo. You mean the world to me. And knowing this about you only makes me love you more.”
Leo forgoes finding the right words and pulls her into a hug, his eyes shutting as he tries to imprint this memory on the backs of them.
“Is Gabe the first guy you’ve liked?”
“He’s the first guy I’ve had these feelings for, yeah.
But he didn’t make me realize that I’m into guys, if that’s what you mean.
I’ve actually known I’m gay for a long time.
There have been, uh, a lot of one-night stands along the way.
But I decided from the beginning to keep that separate from tennis. ”
“Oh, my angel. I hope I haven’t given you the impression that you couldn’t talk to me about all this. If I’ve ever said anything that did, I’m so sorry.”
“No, trust me, you’ve been the best. I always thought if I was going to tell someone, you would be the first,” Leo says. “And I would’ve told you sooner, but I just felt like I wanted to keep this one thing for myself. I wanted to keep it safe. Does that make sense?”
“It does,” Tess says, nodding. “Does anyone else know?”
“Gabe. Well, I guess that’s obvious. My mom. I just told her the other night. I haven’t figured out what to do about my dad or the rest of my team. I don’t think I want to go public. Not yet, anyway. I do want to tell Ollie, though.”
“So, what changed?” Tess asks. “Why now?”
“Same answer,” he says, his eyes shifting down, feeling hesitant but exhilarated, laying it all out for Tess like this, a conversation years in the making. “Gabe.”
“I’m really proud of you,” Tess says, smiling. Her expression turns urgent. “Not that you need my approval or validation or anything. You shouldn’t even have to come out. You don’t even really need me to—”
“Tess,” Leo interjects, laughing. “Don’t blow a fuse.
I know what you mean. But I wanted to tell you.
Honestly, I could use your help. I really want Gabe to come tonight, and we did leave things in a good place just now, but I don’t know, I’m worried the moment’s passed and he’s totally turned off now.
What if he doesn’t show? What if it’s too late? ”
“Hold on,” she says, pulling her phone out of a big pocket in her robe.
“What are you doing?”
“Messaging him.”
“Oh, you don’t have to—”
“No, no, I do. Once I tell him where we’re going, he won’t be able to resist. I also think he can’t resist you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. That doesn’t just go away.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Leo mutters. He feels his face flush at the thought of Tess noticing all his little moments with Gabe this season, at the thought of Gabe finding him irresistible.
“Can I ask,” Tess says, “if you’ve always had a thing for him? Is that why he’s bothered you so much? I had a hunch, but I hoped you’d get there on your own if that was the case. And I’m glad you did. You seemed so much happier when you were spending time with him.”
“My mom said that, too,” Leo says, the corner of his mouth curling up. “I haven’t quite figured out the answer to that question. And I’ve been asking myself that a lot lately. But, to be honest, I guess I’m afraid the answer will mean I wasted way too much time getting here.”
“You know,” she says, “it’s okay if things take a little longer than you thought.”
Leo nods a few times at this and, before he can get lost in his mind again, a different question hits him. “Wait, where are we going tonight?”