Chapter 26
Ezra
It’s late when Harper leaves, Grayson and I promising we’ll catch up with her in a few weeks at the premiere. With the house quiet, we naturally drift outside. The air is cool tonight but not unpleasantly so, the surface of the pool calm, like glass.
Grayson leans his arms on the back of a chair, glancing at me. “Was Shawn happy with the interview?”
“As happy as he ever is. Appeased, I think. Now he has a narrative he can stand behind.”
Grayson nods.
“Camilla?” I ask.
“Haven’t heard from her since the interview, but I asked Shawn to keep her updated from now on. I’m done trying to justify myself to her, and every time we talk, it’s all I do.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” I tell him seriously. He’s done enough of it. “I’m proud of you for recognizing that.”
The smile he gives me is warm. “Coming from anyone else, that would sound condescending. But…thanks. I’m ready to move on. ”
With me .
I don’t say it, but the thought warms me from the inside out.
Grayson lets out a sigh as he looks up at the barely visible stars. “Do you know why I became an actor?”
That has me turning fully his way, intrigued. “I don’t. But I’ve often wondered.”
“It wasn’t something I ever had aspirations for. I don’t care about the fame. I wasn’t even sure if I’d be any good at it. But I had to try… Because of you.”
“Wait, what?” I ask, my heart beating fast.
Grayson’s gaze meets mine, unflinching. “I saw one of your movies at the theater. It was your big break, as they like to call it, but I didn’t know that at the time. You were young. Twenty-two, I think. I saw you up on that screen, and I had to know you.”
“Gray…”
“It doesn’t make any sense. I know that. I just…I felt you. In here.” He taps his chest, and I draw in a shaky breath, my eyes burning. “So I came and found you.”
“Jesus Christ, Grayson. In all the years we’ve known each other, you never told me that.”
“Because it would sound a little nuts, don’t you think?”
“And now?” I ask, my voice hoarse, even as a soft smile spreads across my face.
He shrugs. “Now I know you’d understand.”
I blow out a breath, blinking back tears. “You’ve turned me into a sap, Fox.”
“You’ve always been a sap for me.”
I bark a laugh, and Grayson grins, going on.
“It’s true. You’ve always treated me as the most important person in your life. Me and Madison.”
“Because she’s family. ”
“See? Most people wouldn’t feel that way.” He lets out a gentle huff. “But you’re not most people, are you?”
“Careful,” I tease. “You’ll give me a big head.”
“I’m positive there’s no way it could get bigger.”
“Hey,” I faux-grouse, making a grab for him. He deftly evades me, skirting around the pool as I follow. “Grayson.”
“Ezra,” he parrots, continuing to back away.
“Get over here.”
“So you can put me in a headlock? Pass.”
“You don’t have your phone on you, do you?”
“No… Why?”
I lunge, grabbing Grayson around the middle and pulling him with me into the pool. The water rushes over us, sound cut off for mere seconds before Grayson kicks upwards and we break the surface.
He laughs. “You dick.”
“It’s heated,” I defend.
“As if that’s the point. You’re a menace.”
“And you’re stuck with me.”
Grayson shakes his head, but there’s a smile on his face as we wade in the water, the surface rippling around us. The soft glow of the lights makes him look almost ethereal.
Maybe we could visit the sea during our next trip.
Grayson’s voice floats my way gently. “Do you think it’s possible?”
“What’s that?”
“Reincarnation… An eternity of death.”
His words hit me like a blunt force to the stomach. I swim to the edge of the pool, holding on to the side as my pulse steadies. Grayson joins me, close enough I can make out the smattering of freckles across his nose .
“I don’t know,” I finally manage. “But considering human consciousness is still one of the great mysteries, I don’t see why not? Who’s to say what it is that sparks us being… us .”
He doesn’t respond for the longest time, and I watch him as he watches the stars. “I want to believe it.”
“Yeah?”
He nods, his chin on his crossed arms. “I have to, Ez. Leandros? The warrior?”
My breath catches as Grayson goes on.
“I have to believe he found his lost lover again. The thought of him being alone…” His words choke out, but pain flares bright in my chest, the memory of the starry warrior holding his love all too fresh in my mind.
“It’s probably just a story,” I say, the words ringing hollow even to my ears.
The look Grayson gives me tells me he doesn’t believe it. Not that it’s only a story. Not that I believe it, either. “I want it to be true. Because the thought of ever having to say goodbye to you…” He inhales a ragged breath. “It’s near crippling.”
The stark emotion in Grayson’s voice has me closing the distance between us in an instant, clasping the side of his neck with my palm. His skin is cool, the tips of his hair damp against my fingers. “Gray… You won’t ever have to say goodbye to me.”
“You can’t know that.”
“I can, actually. Goodbye is for parting. You and I? We’re bound, remember? You told me yourself. Never say goodbye to me, Grayson Fox. Only…see you soon.”
He swallows harshly, his lips together in a tight press.
I can see the waver in his expression, the break in the shield he’s trying so desperately to hold up.
But Grayson has never been a warrior. He’s far too good.
Too pure for it. His heart is tender, a quality I’ve always admired about my friend .
I don’t mind being his shield. I’d shield him from everything given the chance. Even death.
Grayson allows himself to crack when I pull him close, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. His arms come around me tight, both of us soaked in our clothes, his inhales shuddering past my ear.
Maybe we can’t live forever. But I know down to my marrow—wherever his soul goes, mine will follow.
I hold Grayson for long minutes, losing track of time beneath the darkened sky. Neither of us moves. Neither of us wants to. It’s not until he starts shivering that I force myself to let go.
“Why don’t we get out of the water,” I suggest. “Before you freeze.”
“It’s heated. Remember?”
I snort. Such a smartass.
Grayson climbs up the ladder first, and I follow, both of us leaving wet footprints on the way to the shed. There are pool towels inside, and we each grab one, drying the best we can before heading into the house.
When I get out of the shower, washed and dressed, I look for Grayson. I find him standing just outside the slider door, sweatpants and a t-shirt on.
I crack the door open. “All right?”
He nods, his arms held high. I realize, after a second, he’s looking through the collapsible telescope he found at the antiques store.
“Can you see better with it?” I ask, stepping out beside him.
One of his eyes is closed, the other looking through the lens. “Only a little. The stars are mostly obscured. Just…larger blurs than before.”
“Which can you see? ”
“The tip of the sword. It’s brighter than the rest.”
“Does that mean it’s bigger?” I ask.
“In this case, yes. Want to see?”
Grayson holds the telescope out, and I accept it. It takes my eyes a second to adjust, and Grayson explains where to look. At the corner of the fence and then straight upwards. There, amidst the fuzziness of what I presume to be clouds, is a star.
“How do you know it’s the tip of the sword?” I ask him. I can’t see any of the rest of it.
“Just do.”
I raise an eyebrow. “All right, Mr. Astronomer.”
He huffs. “Hardly.”
“You could’ve been,” I point out, handing the telescope back.
He simply shrugs. “Maybe in another life. Come on. There’s something I want to do before bed.”
I nod before glancing up at the sky one more time. The tip of the sword is barely visible with the naked eye, but I swear it winks amongst the dark.
Back inside, Grayson makes his way into the kitchen. He pulls a carton of eggs out of the fridge, his hair still wet from his shower. The brass telescope sits on the counter nearby.
“It’s two in the morning,” I say curiously, watching him move about. “A little early for breakfast, don’t you think?”
“This isn’t breakfast.”
Grayson starts cracking eggs, separating the egg whites from the yolks. The whites go into a large mixing bowl. The yolks, he dumps in a storage container.
It finally dawns on me. “Gray… Are we making meringue?”
“Well, right now, I’m making meringue. You coming or what?”
Smile wide, I join Grayson at the counter.
He nudges the carton of eggs toward me, and after washing my hands, I crack a few myself, separating them the same as he did.
We let the egg whites warm as the oven heats, Grayson telling me about the drama club Madison joined at her college.
She doesn’t want to be an actress, but she’s always loved being behind the scenes.
She even joined us for filming on occasion when she was young.
Once the oven is ready, we beat the egg whites until they’re frothy.
We add cream of tartar, vanilla, and salt, and beat again.
Lastly is the sugar. I’m fairly convinced we’ve fucked it up, considering the white doesn’t look anything like the picture on Grayson’s tablet, but then, slowly, it starts to change.
Grayson nudges my arm with his elbow. “See? Just have to be patient.”
“Not my strong suit,” I admit.
He snorts.
Finally, we spread the egg mixture onto a sheet pan, making it as circular as possible.
Grayson places the pan near the top of the oven and closes the door. “Ten minutes. After that, we find out our fate.”
“Ominous,” I mutter.
Grayson starts cleaning up, and I grab the tablet to check the news. There are already articles popping up after my interview, the headlines making me shake my head.
“What is it?” Grayson asks, even though I didn’t say a thing.
I read one of the titles aloud for him. “‘Ezra Gold confirms he and boyfriend Grayson Fox are more than onscreen partners.’”
Grayson hums. “That’s not so bad.”
“I never called you my boyfriend. ”
He laughs lightly. “Ez. You said I’m the love of your life. What are people supposed to think?”
I huff, but he’s not wrong. We knew this is how it would go. I set the tablet down, not in the mood to think about the media and their assumptions. The timer dinging has me jumping to my feet.
Grayson watches on in amusement as I pull the meringue from the oven. It looks…
“Holy shit,” I say excitedly. “I think we did it.”
“Congrats, chef.”
“This was ninety percent you,” I point out. “Mine have always turned out flat.”
The meringue is absolutely perfect, the top ever so slightly golden, the baked egg whites holding their shape. I use a spatula to slip it carefully onto a plate.
Grayson lets out a curious sound. “Why meringue?”
“Remember that time in Chicago? When we filmed there, oh…too many years ago to count. It was shortly after we met.”
He’s silent for only a second, thinking. “The restaurant we visited before we left. They had honey meringue.”
“Yep,” I say, setting the empty sheet pan aside. “It was so fucking good. Do you remember it?”
“I do now.”
Grayson opens the cupboard next to the fridge and grabs a jar of honey from inside. My chest feels tight as he drizzles the honey over the top of the meringue. The one at the restaurant looked far fancier, but this is perfect. More than.
“That was the night you told me you thought you were ace,” I say gently, grabbing two forks from the drawer. “It was like a dam had burst, and you couldn’t stop talking about it. I remember sitting with you in our hotel room and just feeling…”
Grayson’s voice is quiet. “Feeling what? ”
“So much love. God, I loved you even then.”
He smiles softly. “What did I say? Such a sap.”
I can’t refute it.
Grayson joins me on the stools in front of the counter. “Go on. Try it.”
Exhaling, I press my fork against the meringue. It breaks apart just as it should. I bring a piece to my mouth, chewing slowly, the honey warmed from the freshly baked meringue.
“Fuck,” I mumble.
With a chuckle, Grayson cuts off his own piece. We eat the entire meringue in silence, the texture perfectly airy and crisp. The honey adds just the right amount of sweetness.
I hum happily once we’re done. “That’s one item checked off my bucket list. The perfect meringue.”
Grayson sets the empty plate and our forks in the sink for later, and we head toward the hall. “What else is on your list?”
“Not sure yet,” I admit. “But I have time to figure it out. Isn’t that what you told me?”
We stop outside Grayson’s bedroom, his clear blue eyes holding my own. “Yeah, Ez. We have plenty of time.”
I can’t quite resist tugging him close to kiss his temple. “Night, Gray.”
I’ve only taken two steps toward my room when Grayson’s voice halts me. “Ez? Would you stay tonight?”
“Of course,” I answer, quickly retracing my steps.
Grayson doesn’t bother flicking on his light.
I follow him into his darkened room as he stops in front of his dresser.
There’s a soft clunk. The brass telescope being set in its place.
I hop into Grayson’s bed before tugging off my shirt and tossing it aside.
Grayson sighs as it hits the floor, but he doesn’t pick it up.
He rolls into bed next to me, his heavy exhale resonating inside my own chest.
“All right?” I check.
“Yeah. It’s just nice to have you close sometimes.”
Understanding that fully, I take Grayson’s hand in my own. His skin is warm when I press a kiss to his knuckles. “Anytime, Gray.”
He nods once, his head rolling gently on the pillow. I let our hands fall between us, still clasped tight.
When Grayson speaks, his voice is as soft as a whisper. “If it is real, I’ll find you in the next life.”
I inhale a shuddering breath, looking at his outline in the dark. I don’t need light to know the man beside me. I know him as I know the beat of my heart. And if, as he says, there is a next life? I have no doubt he’ll find me there.
I lift Grayson’s hand again, my lips brushing his skin. “I’ll be waiting.”