Chapter 30
Caspian
Lee stares at me, the pan on the stove starting to smoke.
“Your eggs,” I tell him.
He curses, spinning to deal with the eggs before flipping the couple strips of bacon he added. The smell of grease cuts through the room, making my stomach rumble. I barely ate a thing these past twenty-four hours.
Lee is quiet as he pulls out slices of bread, but I know his mind is working overtime.
I feel like I’m messing this up, but I don’t know the right way to go about this.
I’m practically vibrating out of my skin with the need to be closer, but I can’t do that yet.
To Lee, I’m a veritable stranger. He doesn’t know me like I know him, even though I barely know him at all.
Once the sandwiches are made, Lee sets a plate down in front of me and takes a seat. We eat in silence, Shelly the tortoiseshell cat grooming herself in a sun patch now that she’s eaten her own meal. She’s cute, her green eyes assessing me before she goes back to licking her ass .
Lee waits until I’ve finished my final bite to lean back in his chair, arms crossed in front of himself. He winces slightly, shrugging one shoulder as if needing to resituate. I wonder if his incision site is sore. Or perhaps it’s his heart.
He opens his mouth to speak, but I cut in, already knowing what he’s going to say. “Explain. I know. I’m trying.”
His lips twitch.
I huff out a breath, pushing my plate aside before leaning my weight on the table. I’m tired, even as the prospect of sleep doesn’t sound the least bit appealing. Not now. Not that I’m finally here.
“Does the name Penelope mean anything to you?” I ask.
Lee stills, his chest rising and falling in a big breath. “It was my mother’s name.”
Ah, God .
I rub over my chest, offering a small smile. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“How did you know that?”
“I didn’t. Know about your mother, I mean.”
“Then…”
“I know about your daughter.”
He inhales sharply, and soft, brown eyes float into my mind.
“Papa?”
“Yes, Penelope dear.”
“When can we go back to the zoo?”
“We haven’t even left yet.” The man looks amused, the little girl clinging to his hand batting brown eyes his way. He smiles down at her, his gaze adoring. “Soon, I’m sure.”
“Promise?” she asks.
Lee’s eyes rise to mine, piercing and familiar all at once. “We promise. Isn’t that right, my love?”
I pull in a breath, my rib cage aching with the force of it.
Lee is watching me with concern. “What was that? Did you have a…vision?”
“No,” I say, clearing my throat. “Just a memory of one.”
He blinks several times, his eyes searching mine. “Of me and…my daughter.”
I offer a shaky smile. “You’re taking this better than I expected.”
He scrubs a hand roughly over his jaw, rasping against dark stubble. “Yeah, well, you showing up five minutes before my heart was going to stop kind of makes it impossible not to believe you. I have a daughter. Really?”
“You will.”
He drops his face into his palms. “Jesus. This is…a lot.”
“But you believe me?” I ask, unable to keep the wobble from my voice.
Lee lets his hands fall, that warm brown gaze I’ve seen in so many different faces meeting mine. “It’s kind of hard not to.”
The relief I feel is staggering.
Lee must see it on my face because he holds his hand out across the table. A lifeline freely offered. “Hey. It’s all right.”
I accept his palm, his skin warm if not a little dry. It feels so normal, so right , and I grip him for all I’m worth.
No one has ever believed me before. My parents.
My friends. And why would they, when the things I’ve seen are never about them?
I couldn’t prove it. Even my doctors thought I was lying or in need of psychiatric care, at least the scant few I tried to explain it to before locking myself down tight.
They labeled it as seizures. And maybe they are.
But they’re so much more than that.
Visions. Past. Future. Fate. Call them what you will. I know the truth .
Lee lets out a trembling exhale, and I realize he must be exhausted. Of course he is.
“I’m sorry,” I say quickly, his hand still in mine. “Do you need to rest?”
“Not a bad idea.” He glances around as if looking for something. Answers, perhaps. “I can’t believe I’m going to ask this, but…would you stay?”
“Yeah,” I breathe out. “Of course.”
“Yeah, okay. Living room?”
I nod, and Lee lets go of my hand to grab our plates.
He all but dumps them into the sink before waving for me to follow.
His living room has two couches, one long and one short, and a lone chair.
He flops unceremoniously onto the larger of the couches, and Shelly races over, hopping up beside him.
She waits until Lee is comfortable, one arm behind his head, his other placed over his heart, before draping herself across his chest and purring loudly.
Lee’s eyes stay on me as I settle on the couch facing him. “Are you going to rob me?”
I snort. “No.”
“Where’s your bike?”
“At the trails still. I’ll get it later.”
He hums, his blinks slowing, although it seems as if he’s doing his best to stay awake. Shelly is making biscuits on his shoulder now, looking so comfortable I find myself more than a little jealous. Of a cat.
“Who are you to me?” Lee’s voice is solemn, his question causing my breath to stutter. “In these visions you see, are you my…husband? My lover? My friend?”
I swallow heavily, a smile tugging at my lips, even as I ache fiercely inside. “All of those,” I tell him. “More. ”
His brow furrows, but he doesn’t ask anything else. He continues to blink until, finally, his eyes don’t open again. The midday sun shines through the window beside us, the house around me cozy and warm. I watch Lee breathe. Watch the steady beat of his pulse at the crook of his neck.
For as far as we’ve come with medical advancements in the last century, Lee still needs a machine to keep his heart pumping. And he always will.
I slide down until I’m lying flat on the couch opposite him. With the man I’ve spent so many years looking for right in front of me, so close I could touch, I let my own eyes close.
We’ve got time.
When I wake, Lee is sitting upright, staring at me. I startle, rubbing my eyes as I try to orient myself. The sun is lower in the sky now, early evening.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
He nods once.
I push myself up, glancing around. “I, uh…”
“Bathroom’s down the hall. And there’s a glass of water on the table beside you.”
“Thanks,” I mutter, choosing the bathroom first. When I get back, I drink most of the water while Lee continues to stare.
I don’t realize I’m toying with my bracelet until he nods his head toward it slightly. “How often does it happen?”
I assume he’s asking about the seizures .
“Most days,” I tell him truthfully.
He leans his elbows onto his knees, his hands clasped at his chin. “I’m thirty-two.”
“Oh. Okay?”
“I have a sister, but she’s living over in Europe right now.”
I open my mouth, but Lee goes on.
“I teach math at the local high school. And co-coach the football team. I have a painfully normal life. A cat. No partner. No kids…yet. I read before bed, bound books, not on my tablet, because holding something that’s equated with being old these days makes me feel connected to the past. And I have no clue why that’s important to me.
I was born with a heart defect. I recycle, compost, and keep my solar tiles clean.
I have a fondness for old movies. Again, the whole past thing.
I consider myself painfully pragmatic, yet here you are, sitting in front of me, and suddenly I’m wondering if magic is real. Who the fuck are you, Caspian Wilder?”
I press my lips tightly together, battling the tears I can feel threatening to fall.
I don’t even know why they’re there. Maybe because I’m finally getting pieces of this man I’ve never glimpsed before?
Because of why he’s sharing them with me in the first place?
Maybe because…because I think he’s going to believe me.
I lick my lips before answering him. “I’m yours.”
Lee barely blinks. “You realize how that sounds, don’t you?”
“It’s the truth.”
He exhales, leaning back, the broad lines of him taking up a substantial portion of the cushion he’s on. “I can’t decide if it’s brave or foolish, how transparent you are.”
“I don’t have a choice.”
“Don’t you?”
I shake my head slightly. “Not with you. ”
Lee shuts his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I need to get my truck. And you need your bike.”
“Sure. Shall I call us a carriage?”
He opens his eyes slowly, peering at me.
I shrug. “You said you like feeling old.”
Lee huffs a short breath, shaking his head as I grab my phone to order a ride. I swear there’s a smile on his face hiding not far below the surface. It’s nearly dark when we get to the park, and Lee helps me load my bike into the bed of his electric truck.
He hesitates once we’re inside the vehicle, his hands flexing on the wheel. “Where am I taking you?”
“That depends, I guess.”
“On?”
I hold his gaze. “Whether or not you want me gone.”
He groans, looking pained. “Jesus. One day. I’ve known you one day .”
“I’ve known you a lot longer.”
He blinks several times, gaze aimed up at the roof, his hand rubbing over his mouth and stubbled chin. “God. Fine. But you’re sleeping in the guest room.”
“If you want.”
He doesn’t say a word to that, only pulls out of the now-closed park. We stop at my rental first so I can grab a bag of essentials. Most of my things are still boxed up. Unpacking hasn’t been a priority.
Back at Lee’s, he cooks us dinner while I take a shower. I thought I would feel more…frantic than I do now that I’m finally here. I’ve been racing toward this point for so long, after all. Searching for this man for so long.
But all I feel is…eerily calm. Se ttled.
I never expected Lee to believe me. At least not this quickly. To maybe even accept me.
I probably should have known better.
Lee is in the kitchen when I get downstairs. He spares me a glance as I join him at the table, Shelly licking her paw not far off. He’s a great cook. The pasta dish is full of flavor, chicken and cherry tomatoes giving it a healthy edge. I wolf down a good portion before coming up for air.
“I can help with groceries,” I offer, knowing my cooking skills are not at the same level as his.
He raises an eyebrow. “Planning on staying long?”
At my non-answer, Lee huffs a breath.
“When do you go back to school?” I ask, grabbing his plate to clean up before he has a chance.
I can feel him watching me at the sink. “Monday. Do you have a job here?”
“Not yet. I only got to town a couple weeks ago, and I’ve been…busy with other things.”
“Tracking me down.”
Water runs over my hands as I still. I watch it cascade from me to the plate to the bottom of the bright stainless steel basin, my head going hazy in a way I recognize.
I set down the dish and lower myself to the floor before I can drop.
I hear Lee’s voice, asking if I’m all right, but it’s already too far away.
He’s a blur, and the water is running, but…
But I’m…
I…
“Over here.”
I follow the voice into the cavernous overhang, water running down the rocks to either side of me. The air is humid here, salt in my lungs as I breathe in deeply. He’s up ahead, the net in his hand holding a rather small treasure. The grin on his face has me smiling in response.
“Have you become a fisherman?” I tease, the tiny crawfish in the net trying to free itself.
He scoffs, but I can tell he’s pleased to have caught it. “I am a man of many talents. Come, my love. Let me show you.”
I take a step back, and his expression flickers. Amusement. Excitement.
He steps toward me. “Do you plan to run?”
“Do you fancy yourself a hunter, as well? First a fisherman. Now this?”
“If you run, I will catch you.”
I hum, taking another step back, my pulse pounding as the water falls like rain beside my ears. “Do your worst.”
I’ve barely turned when his arms come around me, hefting me into the air. The heat of him at my back, the familiar scent of him, have my muscles going lax in an instant. The net falls to the water as he turns my chin in his grip, his lips a feather pressed to my cheek, his voice a low rumble.
“Kiss me, my love. I have caught you. And I shall have my prize.”
I arch my neck back, finding his eyes with my own, honey-brown and the scorching promise of a forever just like this. I offer him my lips, my own promise spoken in return.
“I am yours, my warrior.”
My eyes whip open, my inhale sharp.
Lee’s wide, frantic gaze is on me. “Caspian.”
“Fine,” I croak, wiping away the tears that are running down my cheeks. I heave myself into a sitting position, the cupboard below the sink at my back.
Lee’s hands are outstretched, not quite touching me. “Was that…”
His question hangs, but I nod, pulling in a few breaths, one after another, to steady myself.
“Was it bad?” He finally settles a hand on my arm, helping me to stand. Shelly weaves around my feet, meowing loudly and looking up at me with green eyes as concerned as her owner’s.
“No,” I manage, my smile an aching, trembling thing. “No, it wasn’t bad at all.”
“What was it?”
How do I even explain it to him?
I wipe away the remainder of my tears, my chest pulled tight, as if still in the past, tethered to a point long since gone.
“It was…the very start.”
Lee’s eyes trace over my face, as if trying to read me. To understand. “The start of what?”
My answer for him is simple, although it’s not simple at all.
“The first time I fell in love.”