Chapter 2 #2
Arriving at the small bistro around the corner from Kade’s apartment, all thoughts of Alpha bites and life failures get shoved under a Band-Aid. It’s a temporary fix, but Kade will help me as much as my manifestation exercises.
He’d help me even more if I stopped avoiding the truth we share, but I struggle to see how scent-matched Betas are what I need.
I have so much left to do, and time is running out.
Victor’s threats of sending my sister in my place are starting to come more often; he drops it into every threat he makes.
That shit does not fly with me. Not today, not tomorrow either, so normal things like falling in love with very compatible Betas don’t get added to my to-do list.
Kade is waiting at the bar for a table to become available, and for me. Like always, my heart gallops when I see him. He is wickedly attractive, heartbreakingly so, at least to me.
His dark brown hair is still damp, and his matching whiskey-colored eyes get darker with each step I take.
I see interest in his eyes, and like always, it mirrors mine.
We’re on the same page and have been since the moment we met. What was a surprise was how quickly this Beta got under my protective shields, and my skin, despite everything.
I should push him away, and I try, but he tests everything about my life and aspirations.
When I’m with him, I’m as skittish and erratic as an addict looking for a hit.
When we’re apart, it’s even worse. Luckily, I’m practically an expert at pretending life is good.
And I haven’t found a way of walking away from him yet, despite knowing with every bone in my body that I have to, for his sake and mine.
I’m mostly sure I’ve managed to convince him we’re only friends with benefits. But it’s this, or it’s nothing, and Kade insists he will have “this” over nothing.
Tonight, more than ever, I need to lose myself in Kade. I grab his hand on the way through the crowd, and he follows without question. Need is what drives me without even saying hello first, and like always, I’m so tongue-tied by the electric buzz of our touch.
The hallway to the bathroom is busy with other patrons lining up to use it.
I don’t think I can wait that long for privacy with him.
Of course, Kade feels my anxiety, as if it was his own.
It’s another sign this thing between us is as real as the denial I insist on.
He lets my hand go but drops his onto my hips and pulls me close, so there’s no space between us, and steers us to privacy.
“Get your ass in the supply closet,” he demands. His lips ghost up and down my neck before he stops at that spot on my neck where my scent sits and bites it hard enough to bruise. “Why do you always have to be so goddamn desperate?”
A supply closet in our favorite restaurant is not a romantic place for our reunion, but today has thrown me out of alignment so hard, and fast, I feel like a top spinning out of control.
“Stop it!” he growls, keeping his mouth pressed against my skin. “You’re always like this, fighting to stay Miss Independent, when the truth is, you need me.”
This man is my very own demon slayer. I love him and hate him for it.
He crowds around me, and I give in, barely stopping the truth from spilling out of my mouth.
I do need you. I need you so much. Please don’t be kind.
I don’t deserve it for the way I lie to you.
Treat me mean, and let me fill my lungs, and my memory, with your heavenly cinnamon scent until we meet again, my sweet scent-matched mate.
See, there’s nothing out of the ordinary happening today, babe, just me pretending like always.
“Tell me, Quinny.” He snarls my nickname, interrupting my inner monologue. He says my name in a way that doesn't sound sweet, and I melt for him more. Because, somehow, he just knows.
“Tell me!” he demands as my thoughts try to drag me down again.
“I’ve been thinking about your come for days,” I whisper, staring down at my feet.
He renders me this way. Every hookup or stolen moment we share, I purposely dance around the truth about what our relationship is. In my mind, our time together is more important than some long-winded discussion that would only be full of heartache and misery.
“I haven’t thought about you since the last time I fucked you,” he lies, like the beautiful, sweet Beta he is.
He grabs at me, rubbing a hand down my clothes and over my body.
His touch is forced; he’s pretending to be harsh and unfeeling, leaving me chasing my breath and craving more.
He stops when I’m about to whine and reaches past me to the door to the supply closet, opening it and getting us inside and away from the crowd.
The door closes, and before I can blink, his lips are on mine. I whimper as he licks his way inside my mouth with a confidence not often seen in a Beta.
Kade has never been intimidated by his designation. Maybe that’s why us being like this is so effortless. Or it’s just his willingness to make this work for me—in turn, us—every damn time.
I don’t deserve him; I can’t let him go, though. I’ve tried.
“Wrap those legs around my waist,” he orders on a low snarl. He’s rough when he pushes me up against the wall, leaving his hands free to push and pull our clothes out of the way.
He rubs the tip of his cock over my entrance. It feels like he is marking his territory. It’s nearly aggressive and somewhat disrespectful, but I need it, and him, more than I need air to breathe.
I hurt so much inside, my breathing hitches.
“You want me to bend you over and put my prick inside this tight little hole? You think you can make me come?”
I try using my legs to pull him closer. But Kade is holding me in such a way I can’t make him budge. He makes me listen to what he’s saying.
“I use you like this, Quinn, and then you’re going to sit and eat whatever I order.
When we’re finished, you’re going to stand up, and if I see one smudge of my come on the chair, you’re going to lick the seat clean before I fuck your throat raw in the carpark for everyone to see.
Because all you are to me is a dirty fucking whore. ”
Warmth tickles from the soles of my feet up my legs until it pools in my core at his words. He drops my legs, forcing me to stand. The fire his touch brings ignites, starting to burn away my anguish.
Turning me so fast my head spins, Kade shoves the side of my face against the door with one hand, and with the other, he grips my hip hard enough to bruise. Kicking my feet wide, he dips his entire body down and surges inside me in a single thrust.
And I breathe for the first time all day.
His hand slips around my mouth, silencing my groan.
I whimper around his palm until he slaps my ass.
“You dirty bitch. You want everyone to hear how good my cock is, don’t you?
I’ll pull out and find some other whore who knows how to keep secrets if you don’t shut up.
What if I have a life outside of here and your pathetic noises bust my gig? That’s fucking selfish.”
I nod, agreeing. I am incredibly selfish.
And he does have a life outside of me.
I want him to keep having that life, too, which is why I’m pushing him away. Or trying to.
He drags his length all the way out before he slams back in, the motion making my head thud against the wall. He does it over and over, ramming my pleasure sky high. I want him to use me exactly like the whore he keeps muttering callously about.
Kade fucks me past the constant noise of a clock ticking inside my brain, drowning out the reality of my life. He grips my hips harder, moving faster again before he growls and stills. His fingers dig deeper into my skin as he floods me full of his release.
My mind tumbles over and over, and my peak starts to sweep through the coldest parts of my soul.
“At least you’re good for it,” he snaps, taking my desire for him somehow higher.
He pulls out and wipes his messy cock all over my ass to clean himself off before he redresses. He turns for the door, leaving me with my face pressed against the wall, my skirt pulled high.
And this is the part that quietens the noise, so all I can hear is his breathing. Telling him a truth that could fit to every explanation I have of why I need him so much and can’t have him at all.
“Please,” I whisper, the words hardly spoken, but he hears.
“You think any of this,” he warns, crowding around me again, two hands curling over my bare ass, “is about you?” He uses both hands to peel my pussy open before he circles a finger over my clit, rubbing until I’m seeing stars in my eyes and feeling nothing but zero gravity.
“This is a waste of my time,” Kade says, his words harsh, his touch the opposite. He toys with me, keeping me safely tucked away from reality for as long as he can, until I fall apart on his hand.
I hate how sullied I am. I am dirty and ruined because I wasn’t enough to save my family.
I did this, and I deserve this, because I wasn’t enough.
But somehow Kade makes me feel like I am enough.
He takes me to a place where I feel seen and treasured, but I never stay there long enough.
I’ll never be able to stay there if Victor is still alive.
But I adore Kade for trying to rescue me.
I float in the peace he brings. I’m vaguely aware of him righting my clothes and curling around me protectively. His touch is softer, so much softer, and his words eventually break through. “Quinny, sweetheart, tell me you’re okay?”
I twist around and wrap his face in my hands, kissing him slowly and sweetly, like he prefers.
“You’re too good to me,” I murmur against his lips before he pulls away.
He rolls his eyes, shaking his head so his hair flops back into place. “Lucky we’re only friends, then, isn’t it? I’m serious about feeding you before you run off, though. And I want to know what happened to your hand.”