Chapter 49
Tilly tightens the laces on her brand-new baby-pink roller skates. On the park bench beside her, Harper does the same with her matching pair in baby blue. Rachel bounces on the spot beside them, wrapping her coat tightly around herself.
‘You two are bloody mad.’
‘I still think you should have bought a pair too. Absolutely no solidarity …’ Tilly jibes as she adjusts the straps on her knee pads and wrist braces.
‘I jumped into the icy Atlantic for you, but this is a step too far,’ shoots back Rachel, shaking her head, her breath coming out as misty clouds in the cold morning air. ‘You two are on your own.’
‘Will you film us?’ Tilly asks, handing her phone over.
‘Sure. Shall I stop if you break an arm?’
‘Ha ha … Can you film a little intro first?’
With one hand Tilly pushes herself up from the bench. It takes a moment to find her balance. But when she’s steady she nods at Rachel who begins to film.
‘So, a book made me do this,’ Tilly says into her phone camera.
She reaches for her copy of Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert on the bench, holding its colourful cover up to the camera.
‘I’m reading this book all about creativity, or as the author calls it “big magic”.
I thought it would be all about making ceramic pots and writing books and things.
And there’s definitely some of that in there.
But the book is really about living creatively, which is about more than just writing and painting.
It means doing things you enjoy just for the sake of them.
It means not letting fear hold you back from trying things that you’ve always thought might be fun.
Well, I’ve always wanted to learn how to roller-skate. And I’m done with feeling afraid.’
As she looks at the camera she thinks back to Joe’s letter, tucked safely within the pages of the book.
Dear Tilly,
We’re coming towards the end of our year of books. I hope you’ve got as much enjoyment out of reading these books as I’ve had in thinking about you reading them.
For the penultimate book, I thought I’d go for something that might offer you some inspiration.
Ever since I’ve known you, you’ve been a creative person.
All your craft projects, even just how you put outfits together in ways that surprise me but always look amazing.
But ever since my diagnosis I can’t help but notice that spark has seemed subdued.
You’ve stopped reading. You’re not crafting as much as you used to.
I get the sense you’re just going through the motions at work.
I want you to get your spark back. I hope this book might help.
I know it might feel hard, but as we come towards the end of the year it’s time to start thinking about what you want the rest of your life to look like. I hope it is full of magic, big and small.
I love you.
Joe x
As soon as Tilly read the letter she knew that Joe was right.
She had lost her creative spark, and maybe even before Joe got sick.
There was a time when she used to keep a notebook beside her whenever she read, jotting down ideas triggered by each book, or notes about interesting techniques the author had used.
But then she got stuck in her job, and stopped.
Harper lets out a cheer and stands up too. ‘Let’s do this!’
They set off slowly at first, Tilly wobbling like a baby deer as she finds her feet. Harper speeds up a little and then Tilly does too.
‘I think I’m getting the hang of it!’ Tilly cries as she picks up speed.
Harper is a little way ahead, zipping along confidently. Rachel jogs to keep up with them, filming as she goes.
Wind rushes past as she speeds up.
‘Weeeeeeee!’
She’s flying, the park zooming by. All her worries about the bookshop, Alfie and her future disappear, blasted away by the cold air scouring her face. After everything that’s happened, this is exactly what she needed. A moment of carefree fun, a moment of feeling like a child again –
‘Slow down, Tilly!’
The path that started out flat has turned into a slope and Tilly realizes she is gaining momentum, moving faster and faster.
‘I don’t think I know how!’
‘Well, stop then!’ yells Rachel, running to keep up.
‘I don’t know how to do that either. Shit!’
She veers towards a nearby bench, falling headlong into it with a crash, sending a plump pigeon that had been resting there flapping into the air with a loud coo and a scattering of feathers.
Harper is laughing so hard she is wheezing, bent over.
Tilly brushes her knees down, glad that nothing seems to be broken, then turns towards Rachel, whose whole body is shaking with the effort of containing her glee, Tilly’s phone still held in her hand.
‘That bit better not be on camera.’