21
Back at the motel room, Julia turned on the light, shed her jacket and bag, and flopped onto the bed, thinking about Courtney.
She felt terrible for what Courtney was going through and she knew that her friend’s grief had to be complicated by what was learned today, about Samuel stalking her grandmother.
Julia slid her phone from her pocket and texted Courtney: Wake me when you get back.
Adjoining door’s unlocked. Love you. She pressed Send, and her next thought was of Gianluca.
He was a night owl, so it wasn’t too late to call home.
Julia called, and he answered on one ring. “Honey, how are you guys?”
“Okay, hold on. Let me leave the room a minute. She’s asleep in our bed.”
“Not in her room?”
“Not for the time being. She doesn’t sleep as well there.”
Julia felt a guilty twinge, familiar by now. “Is she okay?”
“She’s still wetting the bed. My mother thinks it could be a bacterial infection, so I made an appointment. I couldn’t get Dr. Isabella, but I got her partner.”
“Oh, Jeez.”
“You don’t think I should be taking her?”
“No, it’s a good idea, it makes sense. I’m just sad I’m not there. She’s never been to the pediatrician without me.”
“I have her, don’t worry. I’m leaving work early.”
“So she’s not sleeping that well?”
“No, she’s still worried about you, from that night with my parents.”
“Did you ask her if she overheard them?”
“Yes, and she said no. But I doubt she understood the question.”
“What did you say to her?”
“I said, ‘Did you hear Nonna and Nonno talking about Mommy last night after dinner?’ She said no, but Julia, she doesn’t understand ‘last night after dinner.’ She misses you.
” Gianluca hesitated. “Tonight when I was reading to her, she started crying. She only wanted to read the one book, your favorite. The Sendak, Where the Wild Things Are.”
“Aw, we love that book.” Julia felt a tug at her heart.
“You talked to her about it?” Gianluca asked, his tone sharper, which Julia didn’t understand.
“Of course, why?”
“She says that wild child is her friend. I think she made her up to take your place. Obviously she misses talking to you, especially at bedtime.”
“What do you mean, her friend?” Julia blinked. “You mean, an imaginary friend?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Since when does she have an imaginary friend?”
“Since you went away, I assume. I’m going to ask the doctor about it, too.” Gianluca paused. “I don’t like it in connection with the bedwetting and the sleeplessness.”
Julia didn’t like it, either. “Does she talk to the friend?”
“Yes, a little. She whispers to her.”
“What does she say to her?”
“I can’t make it out, but she speaks English. I think she replaces you.”
“What does the friend look like, does she say?”
“She says she doesn’t know. She says she lives in her ear.”
“What?” Julia shifted upward in bed. “That means she hears her.”
“I know, she’s imaginary. Isn’t that the definition?”
Julia swallowed hard, wondering. She flashed on the scream she’d heard in the garden. “What does it say to her?”
“I don’t know. We can’t know. Not all questions have answers, Julia.”
Tell me about it.
“So how is it going? How’s Courtney?”
“As well as can be expected.” Julia didn’t know how much she wanted to tell him.
“What are you up to?”
“You know, the usual. Some old friends of Kay’s came over, and it was touching to see them, friends for decades. We got the house in order, things like that.”
“How are you doing?” Gianluca asked, his voice gentler. “You don’t sound so good.”
“I’m okay but I’m not sleeping that great. I’m totally jet-lagged, and it’s horrifying what she’s going through. There was a bloodstain on the rug, and I think it’s bringing back a lot of Mike’s murder.”
“I understand that, cara. It’s PTSD. It’s to be expected. Take care of yourself.”
“I’m okay though.” Julia felt guilty telling him only half the truth.
“Do the police have any suspects?”
“Not officially, but we found out there was a friend of Kay’s who’d been stalking her.” Julia chose her words carefully. “Courtney’s worried that he might have been the one who killed her.”
“Oh no. Why don’t they arrest him?”
“Well, they just found out about it,” Julia answered, without telling him how they’d found out about it.
“So you’re not having any visions?”
Uh-oh. “I’m having some weird dreams, but not visions.”
“What weird dreams? Wait, hold on.” Gianluca fell quiet a moment. “I think she’s awake, I hear her, she’s calling to me.”
“Should I speak with her?”
“No, it will just wake her up and I’m trying to get her down. I’m going in early tomorrow because it’s a short day.”
“Okay.”
“I have an idea. I’ll call you on FaceTime when I take her to the pediatrician. It will be late morning, your time. Can you take the call?”
“Of course. The funeral is tomorrow but it should be over by then.”
“When are you coming home?”
“I don’t know. Soon. Paul should be in tomorrow, so Courtney won’t be alone.”
Julia’s throat thickened. “Just take care of her, honey. She’s so precious.”
“I know, I love you. Get some sleep.”
“I love you, too. Good night.” Julia set the phone on the charger, undressed, then went to the bathroom and washed her face, trying to shake off her anxiety over Leni.
It worried her that her daughter was still wetting the bed, and that she’d heard an imaginary friend made things worse.
Julia could only hope that it wasn’t like her hearing the scream in the garden, but even she knew she was jumping to conclusions, catastrophizing her therapist would have said.
Maybe they were both exhausted, stressed, and disoriented at being apart.
Julia padded out of the bathroom and checked her phone to see if Courtney had texted back, but she hadn’t.
Her Eagles shirt was on the bed, and she slipped into it, loving its softness from years of wear.
She’d had this shirt since college, and she remembered when she wore it to the library, the first day that she met Matt Winger.
He was the last thing she wanted to think about now.
Julia turned off the light, climbed into bed, and pulled up the covers, which felt vaguely spongy.
The mattress was hard, and a whitish glow filtered through the curtains from the lighted sign by the road.
A wave of edgy exhaustion swept over her, and she felt like she wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep.
She closed her eyes, and her thoughts drifted back in time, and a memory came to her.
She remembered that night back in college, when she and Courtney were at a party off-campus.
Julia hadn’t known anyone there except for Courtney, who was with a date.
The party was big, smoky, and packed with people talking and dancing to “Hey, Soul Sister.”
She was lingering by the wall, trying to find somewhere to look when she spotted Matt Winger, the preppy guy from the library, across the room, standing alone.
Their eyes met through the crowd, and he flashed her his dazzling Zack smile, then crossed to a silvery beer keg, filled a red Solo cup, and, to her surprise, made his way through the crowd to her.
Hey, Julia. Matt handed her the beer. You look thirsty.
Thanks. Julia took the cup, feeling a rush of excitement.
I’m Matt. We met in the library the other day, remember?
Of course, yes. Julia could barely hear him over the noise.
You got me so distracted, I couldn’t study.
Julia giggled, nervous.
I did terrible on my analytics exam and it’s all your fault.
Oh, no, sorry.
What did you say? I can’t hear with this music. Matt leaned closer, and Julia could smell his spicy aftershave, which set her tingling.
I only said sorry.
You want to go outside on the porch, where we can talk? It’s a nice night.
Courtney snapped her head around. Hi, I’m Courtney, and we were just leaving.
Julia looked over. We were?
Courtney took the beer from Julia’s hand and set it on the windowsill. Yes, we have to get back. We have Stats tomorrow morning.
Julia didn’t get it. I know, but it’s not that late.
Yes, it is. Courtney took her arm. Time to go.
Matt waved, making a comically sad face. Goodbye, Julia, see you at the library!
Bye! Julia let Courtney tug her through the crowd and out the front door, then stopped on the porch. What are you doing, Court? Why are you being so weird?
I don’t like him.
I do.
You don’t know him.
I’d like to get to know him. He’s really nice and he’s in business school.
I know, that’s too old for you.
Not really.
Courtney put her hands on her hips. He’s creepy. Can’t you see? It’s like you have a blind spot.
You’re being ridiculous. I’m going back in.
I’m leaving.
Then leave, Julia said after a beat. I’ll see you back at the room.
Courtney threw up her hands. No, I don’t want to leave you alone.
Whatever, I’m going back in. Julia turned around to reenter the house, just as Matt was leaving with a pretty redhead on his arm.
Mortified, Julia did an about-face. Matt and the redhead crossed the porch behind her.
She turned to watch him go, her throat catching.
She’d missed her chance with him and didn’t know when she’d get another one.
It bummed her out the next day, and she went to the library, dressed up just in case, hoping to run into him. But no luck.
The memory faded as fatigue crept through her body. She couldn’t hold off sleep any longer, and in the next second, she drifted off.
Boom! Boom!
Julia jumped at the sound. The door was jolting in its hinges. Noises and shouting came from right outside the room. Somebody was trying to get in. Unless it was a vision. Her heartrate zoomed. Her mouth went dry.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
Julia scrambled out of bed, yanked the sheet off, and pulled it around her. She ran to the far side of the room just as the door burst open, slamming against the wall. Backlit shadows invaded the room.
Julia gasped, realizing she wasn’t having a vision, at all.