Chapter 1 #2
Testing that the water isn’t too hot, I step under the shower spray.
I miss scalding hot showers, but my damaged skin is too sensitive to them now.
The scars aren’t as rough as they once were under my fingers as I rinse off—thank you, vitamin E oil—but the shiny skin along my collarbone and shoulder isn’t going anywhere.
It will always be a reminder of what Aaron did.
The edges of the skin graft are mostly flat, and I’ve been told a thousand times it’s not that noticeable anymore. I don’t need a mirror to visualize the lines that trail up my neck in faded, pearly streaks, easily covered with makeup now, if I choose. But I’ve been doing it less and less lately.
Huh. Maybe the therapy works after all.
The damaged skin looks almost normal now.
My head drops as I hit the round nozzle to turn off the shower.
I huff out a breath.
Almost normal.
Now, if only my body would get the memo that I’m healed.
I zone out during the weekly wrap-up meeting back at Elite headquarters.
The assignments the rest of them are discussing and the logistics involved don’t really apply to me.
Other than rare occasions, I primarily do research on clients—dossiers, financial reports, etc.
It’s not a terrible job, and my brother pays me more than the position calls for.
If he wants to throw some extra money at me under the guise of an inflated salary, then I’m all for it.
It’s not like I spend money on much these days, other than takeout.
The meeting breaks up, and when we all exit, I see Elizabeth waiting for Brady. His face lights up, and he wraps his arms around her with an expression I hadn’t seen on my brother’s face before he met the stunning entertainment lawyer. Now, it’s an expression I see more often than not.
A familiar twisty feeling spreads through my chest, and I force myself to ignore it. It’s ridiculous to be jealous. Not that I’m jealous because she’s with my brother, but of what they have. Something I may never have now if my body and brain can’t remember to respond like a normal woman.
“Hey, Elizabeth. You’re done early today.” I give her a welcoming smile.
She pushes her hands against Brady’s chest, and he reluctantly releases her. Her face is slightly flushed, her eyes sparkling. Elizabeth is a different woman than the one I met last summer when she came to us for help.
“Yeah, my last appointment of the day cancelled, so I thought I’d see if this guy wanted to do a spontaneous weekend away with me.”
My brows shoot up. Spontaneous is not a word I’d ever use for either my brother or Elizabeth.
“Where do you want to go, baby?”
I grimace. I will never get used to this version of my brother.
“I was thinking of a weekend up at our cabin.”
Brady glances at his watch. “Give me thirty minutes, and then I’m all yours.”
She beams and turns to me when he is gone. “What about you? Any plans this weekend?”
Unlike the other operatives, I work a traditional five-day work week.
“I thought I might try the new sushi place that opened near my building. One of my friends told me about it.”
It’s a lie. I haven’t been out with friends in months. Not that I really have many of those anymore. The secrets I kept in my childhood meant I never had close friends to begin with, and after the attack, I pushed away the ones who’d stuck with me since high school.
I wasn’t the same person anymore, and I couldn’t bear to pretend I was.
Elizabeth eyes me closely like she knows I’m making it up. “Hannah?”
I blink and then realize I shouldn’t be surprised she remembers the name of my new friend. “Uh huh.”
Elizabeth frowns. “I’m not your brother. You don’t have to lie to me. I’m not going to lecture you about needing to go out and socialize.”
“Because it would make you a total hypocrite?” I smirk.
“Exactly.” Elizabeth grins, and I’m glad that despite our rocky start, we’ve developed a friendship.
Her expression shifts, and she gnaws on her lip. Damn it.
I recognize her tells, and this is a surefire sign she’s about to say something emotional or heartfelt that makes both her and me feel awkward.
“I’m not saying I agree with your brother that you need to be going out all the time, but sometimes?” Her lips lift in a sly smile. “Vibrators only get you so far.”
I narrow my eyes. I never should have made that drunken confession to her. She holds up her hands. “Not that I’m one to talk. After what my ex did, I never thought I’d trust a man.” She makes a face. “Really, anyone again. But I know now I was wrong.”
“Are you suggesting I have a one-night stand like you did with my brother?”
I’m shocked when she nods vigorously. “Yes.”
I gape at her.
“You can take precautions. Use one of the more exclusive apps that vets the users… And tell me where you’re going.” Her eyes sparkle as she warms to the idea. “Drop a pin when you get there.”
“That sounds so romantic,” I drawl.
“Pfft. I’m not talking about romance. I’m talking about sex.”
Emerging from his office, Brady’s arm loops around her middle, and he leans down to kiss her neck. “Sounds good to me.”
“Not me. Your sister. I was telling her she needs to hook up with someone.”
Brady looks horrified. “Why would you say something like that in front of me?”
“Don’t be a child. Your sister is a grown woman with needs.”
“She’s only twenty-four.”
“My point exactly. What were you doing at that age?”
“Nope. Not doing this. Let’s go, Firefly, before you completely corrupt my baby sister.”
I watch them as he drags her toward the stairs, Elizabeth giggling at something he’s whispering to her. At the last second, Brady spins on the step and points a finger at me.
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
The unspoken words sound in my ears.
Stupid. Na?ve. Damaged.
That’s who I’ve become in his eyes.
My jaw works back and forth.
No more. I’m done letting Aaron win.
Tonight is the night I fix myself.