Chapter 3
Needless to say, I was a blubbering mess as I drove to Cole’s place. I shouldn’t even be going through with the date considering the state I was in, but it was the only thing I could think to do. Honestly, I was just driving on autopilot because my mind kept turning over Aspyn’s nasty words and the way no one except my dad tried to get her to stop.
They all thought that about me?
Talked about me like that behind my back?
Even Chrissy?
She’d always been my blind supporter. The knowledge that she was disappointed in me too hit me hard. My whole life she’d been the one person always in my corner.
I didn’t know what to do with all that. How to make it better. Honestly, I was disappointed in myself too. Shouldn’t I be further along in everything? But I hated my career. It’d been the reason I’d jumped firms. I’d naively believed things would be different at a different company, but it hadn’t changed what my job had been. And it hadn’t changed how mind numbingly boring it’d all been.
I hated it.
And I hated that I was letting everyone down.
I blinked and realized I’d pulled into Cole’s driveway on autopilot. The chalet was lit up like an ad for some German beer, looking all snow covered with huge A-frame walls made of glass and old world, battered logs. It was perfect.
And so not me.
I didn’t belong here.
I shouldn’t be here.
What the hell was I thinking?
But before I could shift my SUV into gear, the front door opened and Cole Jackson stood backlit in the doorway. He finished pulling on his coat, then crunched down the new white powder covered driveway to me. Bouncing in place to keep warm, he rapped the back of his knuckles against my window.
Dammit. I swiped at my tear-streaked cheeks, took a deep breath, and then rolled down my window.
The smile fell from his face and would’ve been comical if my life wasn’t so tragically depressing. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
“I’m a mess. I shouldn’t have come,” I babbled as more tears fell. “I just…I drove here without even thinking. I’m sorry. I should go.”
“No, wait!” Cole Jackson reached over me and pulled the keys from the steering wheel. “Stay. Please .”
I blinked a few times. “Wow, a guy who says please while taking control. You’re like a mythical rom com hero. Or are you even real?”
His light laughter brightened my aching heart.
“See? That.” He pointed a finger at me, my keys dangling from his hand. “That right there is what I love about you.”
“Huh?” He loved me? What?
“Even when it seems like the world is falling around you, you still find a way to make me laugh. You’re amazing.”
“I think you have a seriously low threshold for what you’re looking for in a woman.”
He laughed again as he pulled my car door open. “Come on. Let’s go inside where it’s warm, and we’ll come up with a plan to ruin whoever made you cry like that. My December definitely deserves better.”
Despite the subfreezing temperature around us, warmth spread through me just from being near him. It grew as Cole grabbed my hand and pulled me to his side. He slipped his arm around my shoulder as we bumped against each other on the walk to his house. I was almost too hot as we stomped up the stairs to his front door. His arm around me was everything. He was being so sweet and thoughtful.
I paused to toe-off my snow covered boots at the door, but Cole pulled me through into the large, open main room.
“I don’t give a shit if you get snow on the floor. Come in to the fire and warm up.”
Considering he had gorgeous hardwood floors, I didn’t agree with him, but I’d let this man take me almost anywhere. I didn’t get a chance to admire the ornate entryway or the huge windows overlooking the surrounding forest. Mostly because the fireplace Cole led me to was ridiculous—standing in the middle of the room and open, like I could see through the fire to the room on the other side. A large platform surrounded it on all four sides where we sat next to the crackling fire and a chimney was suspended overhead. I’d seen something like this in a resort lodge, but never inside someone’s house.
“So what’s going on?” Cole asked as he settled next to me.
And reminded me of my totally unhinged entrance to our date night.
Right.
I closed my eyes with a wince. “Just your usual family spat. I’m the youngest, and my three sisters have their lives together, so they think they know what I should be doing with my life.”
“Do you want to commiserate or problem solve?”
“I don’t even know which direction is up at the moment. I don’t know.”
“Um, okay. Well, are you doing what you want to be doing?”
I snorted. “No, definitely not.”
“Do you want to do what your family thinks you should be doing?”
“No. I mean, it’s what I went to college for, I have a degree in it and everything, but the work is…soul crushing. I hated every minute of it.”
“So take some time and figure it out.”
“I can’t do that. I have bills, student loans to pay back.”
“Then do whatever you have to do to keep your head above water, but feed your soul, and pursue something that drives you. From what I’ve seen, you’re pretty smart. You’ll figure it out.”
“I…I don’t think I can do that. This is what I went to school for. I’ve worked in marketing for a few years. I can’t just up and leave my career behind me. It’s just not that easy.”
He sighed and leaned back slightly, stretching his legs out in front of him.
My mouth might’ve watered at the sight of all of him in front of me being earnest and so ridiculously sweet. My heart thudded unevenly.
He cocked his head. “What would you tell a friend who was in an unhappy relationship? She’s miserable, it’s just not working anymore, and they’re arguing all the time. The spark is gone; the sex is boring as fuck. But she’s put three years into being with this guy, and they’ve—I don’t know—bought a car together. She cosigned for the loan on his truck. But she’s miserable. What would you tell her?”
I smiled wryly, seeing the parallel he was leading me to. “I’d tell her to get out. Life’s too short. And there are plenty of other guys to waste time on.”
“Nice to know what you think about the male population by the way.” He grinned at me. “But seriously. Why does your friend deserve an out, but you don’t? Shouldn’t you give yourself the same advice you’d give this friend?”
“Cole…” I shook my head. “That’s so sweet, but it’s not the same.”
He tilted his head. “It is. You’re wasting your life on a job that’s making you miserable. You’re young. You can still pivot. So why don’t you?”
I opened and closed my mouth. I didn’t have an answer to that. Why not?
He leaned forward, then rested his arms on his knees as an earnest expression crossed his face. “Don’t let anyone dictate your circumstances, and don’t ever let yourself feel like you’re stuck without any options. You deserve to be happy. Don’t ever let anyone else tell you otherwise.”
“I…” I sighed. “You’re right. Thank you for putting it in perspective for me.”
He gave me this soft, sweet smile—dimple flashing and everything. “You’re welcome. Now tell me. How do you feel about steak?”
“Love it. I’m a red meat kinda girl.”
He shook his head. “Just when I think you can’t get any hotter…”
* * *
Over steaks and salad, Cole was the perfect host, asking me general get-to-know-you questions and really making me feel at ease. But said absolutely nothing about himself. I didn’t notice at first, mostly since I was so busy talking about myself, but about an hour into dinner, it occurred to me he wasn’t sharing about himself.
So I decided to test him.
“What’s your favorite kind of music?” I set my fork down and cocked my head. “Because honestly, I never would’ve guessed a guy like you would be into easy listening.”
Some soft jazz stuff had been playing in the background since I’d arrived. Honestly, I didn’t notice at first, but now that I had, it was all I could think about. This was as far from ‘ Party Summer’ as he could get without being classical music. It was so weird and puzzling.
He cocked his head. “A guy like me?”
“Yeah, a guy like you—someone who looks like you—all capable mountain man with that urban edge but young enough to afford a place like this.” I raised my eyebrows. “I kinda thought you’d be into country rock.”
“Country rock?” His eyes bugged out of his head. “Me?”
I giggled. He was so easy to screw with. I shrugged and feigned an innocent expression. “Am I wrong?”
He sent me a considering look then picked up his phone and toggled through some options. After a beat, a new song started playing—a man talk-singing with piano chords before a drumbeat kicked in with a mellow guitar accompanying.
It took me a second, but then I recognized Keith Urban’s ‘ I’ll Be Your Santa Tonight.’
I burst into laughter.
Cole smiled back at me and held his hand out. “Can I have this dance?”
Utterly charmed, I took his hand and let him pull me up. In seconds, we were swaying next to his fireplace with Keith Urban serenading us. My arms wound around his shoulders, and he held me around my waist like a gentleman. Having all of him so close to me was intoxicating. Notes of cedar, spice, and man tickled my nose. My heart thundered in my ears despite our sedate swaying.
I couldn’t bring myself to look into his eyes. I was afraid my every thought would be telegraphed to him. And I wasn’t sure I wanted him to know how much he affected me. The last time I was this close to a guy was…damn, I couldn’t remember.
Wasn’t that sad?
Then his fingers ducked under the bottom of my shirt and teased the bare skin on my lower back.
I shivered at his touch, and my breath hitched. Now I couldn’t help but look up at him. He was already staring down at me with this tender expression that made my heart pound even louder in my ears. His eyes searched mine for a long second, and then he leaned down and kissed me.
My eyes fluttered closed, and I kissed him back. His lips were petal soft, but so confident and sure. His tongue teased the seam of my lips, and I opened them to him. I lost myself in his kiss. It could’ve lasted for a minute or an hour. But it was everything. Heady. Sexy.
And I wanted more.
My hands skimmed down to ruck his shirt up his ridiculously hard abs that I just had to run my fingers over. God, this man. How was this my real life?
Like he heard my thought, he pulled back and smoldered down at me. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” I breathed. “That’s—you’re… Wow is right.”
He smiled then the heat slowly slid out of his expression. “December, I can’t promise much. I’m only here until just after Christmas. I don’t—”
“I kinda figured.” I gave him a wry look. “Nothing about this set up—” I gestured to the chalet around us. “Or how we met says that you’re a local. You’ve got holiday mode written all over you.”
“You deserve so much more than—”
I stopped his denial when I placed a finger on his lips. “How about you let me decide what I deserve? Because you have no idea how long it’s been for me. And if I don’t feel your fingers on me, I might just self-destruct.”
He pressed a kiss against my finger. “And my mouth too?”
I smiled back at him. “Depends on where you want to put it.”
“It’d be easier if I told you where I don’t want to put it.”
I raised my eyebrows and waited for him to continue.
“Anything and everything you want, sugarplum. Just consider me your Christmas present this year.”
“Really? I wasn’t expecting anything from Santa this year.” I batted my eyes at him. “I haven’t exactly been a good girl…”
“Fuuuuuck.” Cole stepped back and tugged my arm, trying to lead me down the hallway off the kitchen. “You just might be my dream girl.”
I pulled back against his tug. “Why do we have to leave the room? I’ve always wanted to have sex in front of a fireplace. And you have a nice, fluffy rug right here.”
Cole grinned. “I have another fireplace in the main bedroom with an even fluffier rug and a box of condoms.”
“Say no more!” I stopped pulling against his hold and took a few steps toward the hallway myself. “Let’s go!”