Chapter 9
The next day, I woke up to insanity. My phone rattled across the nightstand where it’d been charging. The sound of the vibrations had pulled me awake a few times since early this morning, I guess this would be the last. I had to get up eventually. So I finally slapped it off the nightstand and looked at the screen.
236 texts messages. 37 missed phone calls. 584 social media alerts.
Something told me my identity had been revealed.
I knew I shouldn’t, but morbid curiosity had me opening an app to see what they were saying about me. My follower number was now approaching 200,000. But the comments on my last selfie of me and Belle at the Handcraft Holiday Faire a month ago had my breath stuttering in my chest.
Cole4Xmas : You don’t deserve him. Your a ugly bitch *devil emoji*
ColesofFire : God, why her? Why not me! I’m single Cole! I love you!
Jacksonite4Eva : He won’t be with you long! Your too ugly for our Cole *middle finger emoji*
None of them were nice. I was too ugly. Too poor. Too blonde. Not blonde enough. Too fat. Too skinny. Nothing pleased any of these women.
With trembling fingers, I turned comments off for my pages. I debated whether I should make my profile private, but I didn’t have anything to hide. Everyone had already seen my unhealthy addiction to coffee and my love of all things da Vinci. To block people from seeing my page and who I really was felt like running away. And I was done doing that.
I didn’t have anything to be ashamed of.
I kept telling myself that as I pulled on some comfy flannel bottoms and Cole’s t-shirt then stumbled down the hallway to the kitchen, following the cartoon like scent of coffee. Cole had an amazing espresso machine that I worshipped at every morning.
Only this morning, Cole wasn’t in the kitchen.
A strange man sat at the island in a bespoke suit of all things, tapping away at his phone’s screen.
“Uh, hello?”
His head jerked up, and he stoically stared at me, taking in my flannel pants before his eyeline froze on my chest. Suddenly very aware of my braless state, I took a step back and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Who are you? Where’s Cole?”
His eyes jerked up to my face, and he jumped off his barstool, approaching me with a hand out. “I’m Jace Henson, Cole’s manager and best friend. He’s messing with the router in his office since I couldn’t get any signal out here in the boonies.”
I shook his hand as my nerves fell away. I’d heard Cole talk about Jace a few times. “Right. Well, welcome to Tahoe where cell phones only work if you can see a tower or a resort, so good luck with that.”
Jace kept shaking my hand for an awkward amount of time. And staring at me like I was in a sideshow at the circus. Did I have something on my face?
I pulled my hand away and all but ran to the espresso machine in the kitchen. “Do you need a top up?”
“No, I don’t drink coffee.”
I turned around and stared at him in horror. “Say what now? How do you function?”
Jace shrugged. “Adrenaline and cocaine, mostly.”
I boggled. “Wow. Okay.” It wasn’t okay, but I’d literally just met the man. I wasn’t about to call him out.
“No.” He laughed. “I’m just fucking with you. Sorry.”
I turned back to the espresso machine with a weak laugh. Between my phone, social media, and Jace the wise guy, I felt like I was in a fever dream.
Although, come to think of it, that would explain how and why I was suddenly sleeping with Cole Jackson. I might’ve pinched my arm to make sure I was really awake. I wasn’t sure if the flash of pain I felt was comforting or not. This was all so surreal.
How was this my life?
“So I see you met Jace,” Cole said as he came into the kitchen. “I reset the router. Give it a minute before you try again.” He came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed my temple.
I closed my eyes and sank into his embrace for a moment. Then remembering we had an audience, I tipped my face up at him and asked, “Do you want one of my famous brews?”
“Always.” He pressed a kiss on my lips then stepped away to dig out a mug in the cupboard.
I fiddled with the buttons then sighed and faced him. “I should mention my phone was blowing up this morning. I think it’s safe to say my cover is blown.”
“Yeah, sorry about that, December.” Cole set his mug down near the machine and crossed his arms over his chest. “I, uh, was hoping to give you some more time to sleep before the hammer of my insane life came down on us both. So I turned your ringer off this morning.”
That at least explained why I hadn’t heard any of my dozens of missed calls or hundreds of messages. “I think my phone almost vibrated the whole room at one point. It was so loud.”
“Shit. Sorry.” Cole grimaced then headed for the fridge and the cream.
It almost felt like he couldn’t—or wouldn’t—face me.
Oh.
“Right, well.” I gulped then poured myself a cup, then set Cole’s to brew. “I turned off commenting on my socials. But I think I might need to get a new phone number potentially.”
“That’s probably not a bad idea,” Jace chimed in from the island, reminding me of his presence.
And taking my mind off Cole’s sudden avoidance of me. A sense of doom hung heavily over me.
“After our meeting, you should call your provider and arrange a new phone number for yourself,” Jace said while tapping away at his phone.
“Meeting?” I asked in confusion, but Jace was still busy tapping at his phone, and Cole was weirdly very into making his coffee. “I, uh, I guess I’ll let you two talk, and I’ll go get ready for work.”
I didn’t even take two steps away when Jace’s head popped up. “This is about you, so you might want to hang around.”
And suddenly I knew why Cole was avoiding me. He wanted to end things sooner than we’d discussed. Right. I know I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. And hurt. He couldn’t have had this conversation with me before Jace was posted up at the counter watching?
Shame crawled across my skin even though I didn’t have anything to be ashamed of. I know I didn’t. And yet…
I swallowed hard. “All right. But uh, maybe Cole and I should talk first? Alone?”
“If you want.” Cole sounded like it was the furthest thing from what he wanted, but he still followed me out of the room.
He closed the bedroom door and leaned against it with his hands behind him. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Seriously? Do you think I can’t read the room?” I laughed incredulously. “What I can’t understand is why you couldn’t have a conversation with me first. Just tell me it’s over. I mean, it was supposed to end in a few days anyhow, right?”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up a second. You think we’re breaking up? Why?”
“Uh, because this was only supposed to be for a few weeks? Because we talked about it ending before we even began? Because suddenly you can’t look at me when I walk into the room? And then to have Jace sitting there watching it all go down…” I had to stop and wipe the tears currently blurring my vision.
“December.” Cole must’ve crossed the room because suddenly his arms were around me and he rocked me gently. “That’s not, I don’t—”
“I mean, I get it.” I cut him off, so fucking embarrassed at my meltdown. I tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let me go. “We were only supposed to be short term or whatever. I just, I didn’t want to have this talk with Jace watching because of this . I knew I’d lose it. I’m sorry. I’ll just grab my stuff.”
“Can I talk now?” Cole brushed my hair out of my face, not letting me hide from his searching eyes. “I’m not breaking up with you. I’m fucking embarrassed. Ashamed. I don’t even know how to label it.”
“What? Why? You haven’t done anything to be ashamed about.”
“I brought all this insanity down on you and your family. Your life is about to blow up, and I can’t protect you. People will say shit. Make you feel bad about yourself because they’re assholes. I just…I’m so fucking sorry, baby.”
“Cole.” I finally wrapped my arms around him and held him. I could hear the pain and frustration in his voice. “I had no idea you felt like this. I don’t blame you.”
“You say that now. But it’ll get ugly. And I can’t stop it from happening. We should probably break up to protect you, but I’m a greedy son of a bitch. I want to keep you.”
“Whoa.” It was my turn to protest and take a step back. “What the hell are you talking about? Keep me? Like for longer than a holiday fling?”
Red tinged his cheeks, and he shoved his hands in his front pants pockets. “I mean, you don’t have a regular nine-to-five job. And if you take my commission for album art, you can make your own schedule. Maybe go on the road with me? Tour the states and see the world?”
“Holy crap. We’ve gone from you leaving in a few days to me going on the road with you? I just—how? I don’t think I can just put my life on hold like that. I’ve got student loans. I’ve got to find a job. I’ve got to get back to my life.”
“Maybe you don’t. I, uh, kinda paid off your student loans a few days back.”
“You what?” I boggled. “When? How? ”
“A few days ago, I had Jace find out how much you owed and paid it off. I didn’t want you having that hang over your head. You obviously hated your job, and I wanted you to be able to be free moving forward. So you don’t have to take the first job that came your way. You should be doing something you love, that feeds your soul, not grinding for a paycheck.”
“I don’t…I don’t know what to say.” I sighed as so many emotions coursed through me. Confusion. Indignation. Maybe some shame. “That wasn’t your call to make.”
“I didn’t make any calls—Jace did.” When I didn’t laugh at his weak joke, he groaned and scrubbed the back of his head. “I’m not making any calls about your future. That’s your decision to make. And now you have the freedom to do whatever you want.”
“I just…I don’t…” I had nothing. “That still wasn’t up to you. This…thing between us isn’t transactional. I don’t like the idea of you paying any money for anything of mine. I don’t do that with guys.”
Cole groaned again. “I know. And it wasn’t meant that way. I have more money than I know what to do with. Your student loans aren’t even a blip to my bank balance. I know it’s shitty to admit, but it’s true. So let me do this for you. Even if you don’t end up coming on tour with me—which would be a mistake by the way. Let me do this for you.”
My groan rivaled his. “Fine. I’ll accept if it’ll make you happy.”
“Wait…”
I laughed and jumped back into his arms, wrapping mine around his broad shoulders. “Thank you.” I pressed a kiss against his soft, lush lips. “You’re an amazing man. Whatever happens, I won’t ever regret meeting you and being with you.”
“I really fucking hope it stays that way. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you keep believing it.”
Then he kissed me, and it felt different than any time before. Like we were connecting on a different level. More emotional. More…everything.
Things got a little hazy after that.
And horizontal.
But I remember thinking that I was falling for this man. Hard.