Chapter Two – Declan
Declan
Camp Lejeune, North Carolina, Six Months Earlier
I glanced around the large reception room someone had booked for the party that was being thrown in my honor, taking everything in. It would all be left behind soon, and I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I’d been in the Marines since I was eighteen years old. Now, at thirty-five, I felt like I was about to start my life over again.
Someone came up behind me and slapped my back. “You ready to leave all of this behind?”
It was my best friend, Ron. We’d met in MARSOC and became instant friends.
“You mean no longer getting shot at all the time? Yeah, I’m ready to leave it behind.”
Ron raised a single brow. “Why don’t I believe you?”
I smiled. “Because I’m lying. I’m going to miss it, and miss everyone here.”
He handed me a beer and sighed as he also looked around the room. “Hard to believe you won’t be on the team anymore.”
After taking a long drink from my beer, I replied, “It’s time for me to take the next step in life, and that means leaving the Marines.”
“You’re sure this is what you want to do?”
I nodded. It had been a difficult decision, but it was time to move on. As much as I hated the idea of leaving the Marines, I needed to listen to my heart…and my gut.
We sat in silence for a few minutes before Ron asked, “You going home?”
I nearly laughed. Where else did I have to go? Sean and Harper had broken up though…so that was at least one good thing about returning. That is, unless she’d started dating someone else already. “Yeah. Moose Village, New York.”
“What will you do? Work-wise, I mean?”
I blew out a breath. “I already talked to an old high school buddy who works for the police department. His name is James. I’ll probably go that route.”
“Be a cop? I thought you’d like to stop having people try to kill you.”
Shrugging, I said, “I don’t know what else to do.”
“Work for the family business?”
I gave him a dubious look. “You want me to be an accountant? I don’t think so.”
Ron started to laugh. “It would be safer.”
“And dull as hell.”
“That’s true. I’m sure your family will be happy to see you either way. When was the last time you were even home?”
I thought about my family. I’d missed them, but it seemed easier to stay away. Maybe not for them, but it had been for me. Now that Sean wasn’t dating Harper, at least I didn’t have to worry about seeing them together. It pissed me off that, even after all of these years, I still couldn’t seem to forget her. That the idea of seeing her with my brother still got under my skin.
And the fact that I’d purposely stayed away because of them, and no other reason, filled me with guilt.
“Yeah,” I said with a nod. “I’m sure they’ll be happy. My mother will be relieved I’m home for good.”
“It’s hard on our parents, doing this job. I don’t know how the guys who’re married even do it. Being gone all the time and away from your family.”
I nodded once again and glanced at Ron. “Do you think anyone would notice if I just slipped out? I hate goodbyes.”
Smiling, he put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “It’s been an honor serving with you, Declan. I’ll miss the hell out of you.”
“I’ll miss you as well. Stay safe, Ron.”
He gave a sharp nod, dropped his hand, then stood and walked away.
Taking one last look, I quietly slipped from the room, leaving behind the part of my life that had defined the man I was today. Starting tomorrow, I would be forging a new journey. I’d be heading to New York and going through the police academy. I had decided not to tell my family that I hadn’t re-enlisted in the Marines for a reason. I knew I would have to go through the academy and my mother would question my new career choice, and I really hadn’t wanted to argue with her. This was my life, my decisions, my choice.
As I took one more look at the past, I smiled and started walking toward my truck. “Here’s to the future.”
Present Day
When I decided to drive down to Washington, D.C., to visit a friend of mine after going through the police academy, I thought it was a good idea at the time. Now, sitting in traffic on Interstate 87, I was wishing I had just gone straight to Moose Village after the police academy.
My phone buzzed, and I looked down to see it was my father. He was the only one who knew I was coming, and I’d sworn him to secrecy. I wanted to surprise my mother. And she would be, considering it had been nearly five years since I’d last been home.
“Hey, Dad.”
“How’s the drive?”
“Brutal,” I said with a sigh.
He laughed. “Where are you?”
“Almost to Albany. Getting through the city was rough. I forgot how much I hate New York City.”
“You’re only two hours away, son. And I can’t wait. I’m excited to see you. I’ve missed you. I know your mother feels the same way, but it’s felt like a piece of me has been missing with you gone all these years.”
Smiling, I felt my chest tighten. My father was one of those guys who wasn’t afraid to tell you how he felt. He’d always told us growing up that real men shared their feelings and didn’t hold them in just to be tough. It was a lesson I needed while in the Marines. I didn’t think I would have sought out counseling if it hadn’t been for my father telling me over and over that it was okay to not have your shit together. Lord knows with the job I had, I’d needed that therapy.
“I’ve missed you, too, Dad. I’ve missed everyone.”
“You’ll be happy to know I talked your mother into lasagna tonight.”
My stomach took that moment to growl. “Damn, that sounds good.”
“Declan…how are you really doing? I would imagine leaving the only thing you’ve ever known was a pretty hard decision.”
“Yeah. But I’m okay, Dad. At least, I will be okay. It’ll be nice not having bullets flying over my head half the time.”
“That’ll be nice for me and your mother, as well. Maybe now we’ll get a good night’s sleep.”
I felt guilty for not telling them about my decision to become a cop. I’d let them have a few days of peace before I dropped that bomb on them.
“I’m going to let you go so you can concentrate on driving. You’ll be home right in time for dinner. Be careful, son.”
“I will. See you soon, Dad.”
The line went dead, and I gripped the steering wheel harder. I had no idea what I would be walking into when I returned to Moose Village. At eighteen, I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there; now, I couldn’t wait to get back. It helped knowing that one of my best friends from high school had also recently moved back.
Kian Carter had been a hot-shot lawyer working at his parents’ law firm in New York City, until he got tired of it all, recently moving back to Moose Village. According to my father, he was writing a book and dating a woman, Cadie, who’d moved to town earlier in the year. She was currently the new owner of the bakery, taking over after Opal had decided to retire. The biggest scuttlebutt around town for months had been about the mysterious woman. I’d be glad to talk to Kian and get the truth behind his new girlfriend.
That was one thing I didn’t miss about my hometown. The gossip.
I decided to pull over for a quick drink and something to eat, just enough to keep me going for the next two hours. The traffic didn’t look like it was going to let up at all. After grabbing a burger and some fries from McDonald’s—something I never ate—I was back on the road. I’d missed this part of the country, with the gorgeous Adirondack Mountains, the green rolling hills, and the lakes that were peppered throughout the scenery. The more I took it in, the closer I got to home, the more relaxed I became.
Before I knew it, I was pulling into my parents’ driveway.
Turning off the truck, I let out a long breath as I looked up at my childhood home. As happy as I was to be here, I wasn’t looking forward to residing under the same roof as my parents. “First thing on the agenda—find a place to live.”
I loved my mother and father, but I was not about to live with them at thirty-five. No matter how long I’d been gone.
Still…staring at the house, I smiled. It was a beautiful sight, and I was thankful that I was able to make it back here at all. Some of my friends in the service didn’t.
With a shake of my head, I quickly cleared where my thoughts were headed. I opened the truck door, grabbed my two bags of belongings, and started for the front door.
Should I knock? Walk in? I wasn’t sure what to do.
Before I had much of a chance to debate it on the front porch, the door opened and my father appeared, a wide grin on his face.
My heart squeezed in my chest as I took him in, and I fought to hold back my tears. He’d gotten older. His hair was a bit more gray, a few more wrinkles adorned his face…but his blue eyes were still big and bright, instantly easing my weary soul.
“Fuck, I’ve missed you, Dad,” I said, dropping my bags and letting him embrace me in a giant bear hug.
“I’ve missed you, too. More than you could ever know.”
I wasn’t sure how long we stood there, wrapped in one another’s arms, but it felt good. For the first time in a long time, I felt at peace.
“She has no clue. She’s in the kitchen making the last desserts for the Mother’s Day brunch this weekend. And she’s in a bit of a mood.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Your brother told her that he and Harper would be over for dinner tonight.”
My heart felt like it actually tripped over itself for a moment. “I thought they broke up.”
He shrugged. “Guess they worked things out. Your mother isn’t pleased, but nothing’s new there.”
I frowned. “Why not? I thought she liked Harper.”
He chuckled. “She does when she isn’t dating her baby boy.”
My frown deepened. “ What? ”
Dad waved off my concern. “Come on, let’s go surprise her.”
I pushed all thoughts of Harper and my brother from my head the best I could—which was difficult.
My dad picked up one bag while I grabbed the other, and I followed him into the house. Glancing around, I felt myself grinning. Everything looked the same. The large living room was to the right when you walked in. Nothing about it had changed since the last time I was here. Hell, since I’d left when I was eighteen. The sofa and love seat were in the same spots, but the furniture itself was new. They were always dark when we were growing up. Now they were cream-colored, with bright throw pillows on their surfaces. A blanket was draped across the love seat, and I could picture my mother sitting there, with a book in one hand and a coffee in the other, as a fire roared in the fireplace.
I looked to my left and saw the familiar furniture in the formal dining room. The huge oak table that once belonged to my grandparents still sat in the center, with ten chairs all tucked around it neatly. The buffet cabinet most likely still held the same china that my parents got when they were married so long ago.
Dad set my bag down at the bottom of the steps. I did the same with the other before following him again down the hallway leading to the kitchen and family room. It was one big giant space; my mother always said it was her favorite part of the house. They’d lived in this place for almost their entire marriage, first living in a small rental home until my mother discovered she was pregnant with me. The first thing on their agenda: buy a home where they could raise their family.
As we drew closer, I heard her humming a Christmas song.
Christmas. It was May , for crying out loud.
“Maddie?”
She stopped humming but continued packing the food without missing a beat. “Matt, you know I have a lot to do to get this all ready for tomorrow.”
“I have an early Mother’s Day gift for you,” Dad said with a smile in my direction.
“What?” she said, humor in her voice. “We promised we weren’t going to…”
Her words faded when she turned and saw me. Tears instantly appeared.
“Aww, don’t cry, Mom.”
“Declan,” she whispered as she rushed across the kitchen and into my arms. “You’re home!”
Holding her close, I breathed in my mother’s familiar scent—roses and citrus. When I was younger, I always thought she smelled that way because she had roses in the backyard and ate a lot of oranges.
“I missed you, Mom. I missed everyone.”
She eased back and gave me a once-over. “You’re okay? Not hurt or anything?”
Smiling, I shook my head. “I’m fine.”
“How long are you home for?”
I felt my smile slip and tried like hell to plaster it back on. “For good. My time is up in the Marines.”
Her brows slammed down. “Did you get injured? What happened?”
I laughed. “Stop letting your mind go there, Mom. I just decided not to reenlist.”
Confused, she asked, “Why not? I thought you loved it.”
“I did love it, but it was time for a change. I’m getting older, and well, it was time for a change.”
She smiled. “I hope that change means grandbabies soon!”
I laughed. “Mom, I just walked in the door, let’s not jump right into that.”
Closing her eyes, she breathed and focused back on me. “I’m not going to lie, Declan, I’m happy you’re out. I was always so terrified. I prayed every morning and night for your safety.”
I took her hand in mine. “I know, and I’m so sorry I made you worry, Mom. I’m home now.”
“What do you think you’re going to do?” Dad asked.
Seeing how relieved my mother was reenforced my decision not to tell them yet about my plans to become a cop. “I’m not sure yet.”
He nodded. “Take your time and rest up some. Lord knows you deserve it.”
“Yes! I’ll need to get your room made up and ready for you. Oh, I wish I’d have known you were coming! I’d have gotten everything ready for you.”
I chuckled. “It’s fine, Mom. I need to find a place to live.”
Her eyes went wide. “Don’t be silly. You’ll stay here!”
“Maddie,” my father warned. “He’s a grown man, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to live with his mother and father.”
She pouted, and I laughed. “I’ll be here at least a couple of weeks while I look for a place.”
“Fair enough. You’ll come to the Mother’s Day brunch tomorrow, right?” she asked, with hopefulness in her voice.
“Or course I will.” I winked, then brought her hand up and kissed the back of it. “I have to celebrate the best mother in the world.”
She blushed. “Stop that.”
“What? It’s true.”
“Did you have plans for tonight?” she asked.
“Sleep.”
Dad walked over and kissed my mother on the cheek. “Your brother is coming over for dinner with Harper, don’t forget.”
Mom drew in a deep breath and sighed on her exhale.
Smirking, I said, “Don’t hold back your excitement, Mom.”
She rolled her eyes and went over to the stove, opening it to check on whatever she was making. The smell of my mother’s lasagna invaded my senses. My mouth instantly watered.
“Lasagna.”
“Yes, your favorite. Imagine if I’d known you were coming; I would have made your favorite dessert, as well.”
“Mom,” I said, as I reached for a chocolate-covered strawberry, “shouldn’t we be the ones cooking, since it is Mother’s Day weekend?”
“That’s what I said,” my father added, reaching for a strawberry—and getting his hand slapped at the last minute by my mother.
“Those are for tomorrow!”
Dad looked confused. “But Declan just ate one.”
Her hands went to her hips. “Declan served our country for seventeen years. He can eat them all if he wants to.”
I fought to hold back my laugh. “What time is dinner, Mom?” I asked.
“I told your brother to be here around six-thirty. You’ve got plenty of time to settle in, and maybe even take a short ten-minute nap.”
“Nap? Mom, I haven’t napped since I was a toddler.”
She shrugged. “I think you’ve earned one. Did you drive here or fly in?”
I took another chocolate-covered strawberry and popped it into my mouth. My father gave me a death glare, so I grabbed another one and slipped it to him when my mother turned away.
“Drove. I sold pretty much everything in my apartment back in North Carolina and figured it would be silly to have my truck shipped when I could just drive it.”
“That makes sense. You go get yourself settled into your room. I’ll change the sheets on your bed. I wash them once a month, but it’s been about that long now.”
I shook my head. “Mom, the sheets are fine. Don’t worry about it. Do you need any help with dinner?”
She looked around. “I just need to make a salad, but I’ll do that right before the lasagna gets out of the oven.”
I walked over and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll help cut up the veggies.”
She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Oh, Declan, those days are over. I have a couple of Ceasar salad packs that I just have to open, dump the dressing on, and it’s ready.”
I laughed. “I like this new version of you, Mom.”
She winked, and then startled when her phone went off in her pocket. She took it out and rolled her eyes again. “It’s Sean. He confirmed he’s bringing her .”
“Maddie, don’t start with that,” my father warned.
“Why do you dislike Harper so much?” I asked.
Mom threw her hands in the air. “I don’t dislike her. I just thought that since they’d finally broken up, Sean could ask Crystal out.”
“Not this again,” my dad said, giving my mother a look. “Stay out of it, Maddie.”
Confused, I asked, “Crystal? Stevens? I thought they were best friends?”
“They are!” my mother agreed. “Viola and I have always wanted those two to get together, but Sean never asked her out. Then he started dating Harper, and it was serious for all those years. When they broke up, I thought maybe this was finally their chance to get together.”
I stared blankly at my mother. “Mom, Crystal is like a sister to Sean. He’s never going to ask her out.”
She shot me a dirty look and pointed her index finger in my direction. “You don’t know that.”
I did, in fact, know that. Sean told me all about how our mom and Viola had tried to push him and Crystal together on multiple occasions. He’d also told me he could never see himself with her. She and Sean were the best of friends but complete opposites.
Running a hand over my buzz cut, I drew in a breath. “I think I’ll go get unpacked.”
Dad looked my way. “Smart kid.”
I kissed my mother on the cheek again. “It’s good to be home.”
She blinked to keep the tears back. “It’s good to have you home.”
I walked out of the kitchen, grabbed my two bags, and took the steps two at a time. Once in my old bedroom, I shut the door and looked around. Everything was the same. It seemed nothing had been touched or moved, except to clean, which my mother clearly did often. There wasn’t a speck of dust in the room.
Dropping the bags, I sat on the bed and scrubbed my hands down my face. My brother was back together with Harper…and I would see her in a few hours. Not the kind of homecoming I was hoping for.
“Well,” I said softly to myself. “Might as well get it over and done with.” Once I saw Harper and my brother together, I’d hopefully find that I wasn’t still attracted to her. Knowing they were happy would make it easier for me to get on with life.
I huffed a humorless laugh. “Right. Keep lying to yourself, Declan.”