Chapter Sixteen – Declan
Declan
Exhausted.
It was the only word my tired brain could come up with to describe how I felt after our day with Winnie. The only break Harper and I got was when we arrived at Harper’s parents’ house, and Patty, her mother, immediately took Winnie from Harper’s hands. I swear we didn’t see the two of them for at least thirty minutes.
Harper took Winnie out of the car seat and held her while I removed it from the back of Harper’s car. “As tired as I am, I had a lot of fun today.”
I chuckled. “I did, too, but I’m exhausted. I feel bad for Liam and Hope. I’m sure the chemo is taking every bit of her energy, and Liam must be wiped out from caring for them both and trying to run The Muddled Moose.”
Harper’s smile slipped away. “Yeah, I was thinking about that as well. I wonder if we should offer to take Winnie more often?”
“We could, but you and I both have busy schedules. And my work schedule rotates.”
“I’ll talk to the girls about taking turns watching Winnie for a few hours, at least to give them small breaks. Cadie sent a text earlier that said she’d help in any way she could. And even though Brystol acted put out, I know she’d help as well.”
I smiled. “Did you see Brystol rocking Winnie and singing to her before we left her store, when she didn’t think we were watching?”
“Yes! I never knew she had such a pretty singing voice.”
The front door opened as we walked up the sidewalk, and Liam appeared. Winnie let out a little squeal of happiness as she held her hands out for her father.
“Dada!”
“Hello, my little angel heart,” Liam said, as he peppered his daughter with kisses. “Did you have fun today?”
“I think she did,” Harper said, as she tickled under Winnie’s chin. “We went to the toy store, the little gym with my sister and her daughter, Mandy, and then we had dinner at my parents’ house. My mother took control of Winnie and spoiled her rotten. And she napped for two hours after we left the little gym.”
Liam smiled at his daughter, and when he lifted his head to look at us, tears filled his eyes. “I don’t know how to thank you guys for doing this for me. It was a nice break for both Hope and me.”
I felt a lump form in my throat, and found I was unable to say anything for fear I’d get emotional. Thank God Harper kept it together.
“It was our pleasure, Liam. We had so much fun. We were just talking about maybe being able to come and get Winnie more often. I know Aurora, Cadie, and Brystol will also want to help out.”
A tear slipped down Liam’s cheek, and before I knew what was happening, I’d taken Winnie out of his arms, and Harper was hugging him. He was crying, and it was all I could do to keep my tears at bay.
Jesus H, what in the hell was happening to me? I never cried…and I’d seen some pretty atrocious shit during my time in the Marines.
Liam stepped back and wiped his face. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Liam, you don’t have to apologize. If you ever need a break, I’m happy to stay here with Hope,” I offered.
He nodded. “I could use a break away from everything for a few hours.”
“When was the last time you had some alone time?” I asked.
Liam shook his head as he thought. “I’m not sure. I try to stop in at The Muddled Moose at least once a week or so. Thank God I’ve got two managers I can count on. I could leave my mother with Hope, but to be honest…I don’t trust her. I know that’s a terrible thing to say, but she’s never liked Hope, and the fact that she’s battling cancer hasn’t changed that.”
“Why don’t we do this,” I suggested. “You figure out which day you want to head into work, or take some time for yourself, and Harper and I will come and stay with Hope and Winnie.”
“Why would you do that? I’m sure you’re just as busy yourselves,” Liam said.
Harper reached for his hand. “Because we consider you friends, and we care about all three of you. And it’s not just us; so many people in town want to help, Liam.”
He wiped another tear away and nodded. “Thank you.”
Harper pulled out a card and handed it to him. “This has my cell number. Call anytime , okay?”
Liam took it and pushed it into his back pocket. “Thank you, Harper.”
Handing Winnie back to her father, I smiled as Liam thanked me as well.
“Anytime, dude. Anytime.” I pointed to the car seat sitting on the porch. “I’ll leave this right here.”
Liam cleared his throat. “Thanks. I better get back in. Hope was sleeping, but I want to hear her in case she wakes up.”
“Of course. Take care, and hug Hope for me,” Harper said as she waved to Winnie. “Bye, baby girl!”
Winnie waved and blew kisses, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Once Liam was inside, I took Harper’s hand, and we slowly walked back to her car. Neither of us said a word during the short drive to her place, but I was positive she was thinking of the same things as me—Liam, Hope, and Winnie.
The little family of three that was being torn apart by cancer.
“You seem lost in thought,” James said, as we walked down Main Street. It was something we’d gotten into the habit of doing the last month. We patrolled our respective areas of Moose Village, then met up to walk down Main Street so people were aware of our presence.
Gavin was also on shift today, walking a few feet ahead of us while talking to a kid who was about seventeen. He’d wanted to ask about becoming a police officer, and Gavin was always more than happy to talk. It was another one of the reasons we made an effort to walk along Main, down to The Green. To be more accessible to the residents of Moose Village. It was actually Gavin who’d suggested it, and the chief thought it was a great idea.
“I can’t stop thinking about Liam and Hope Turner.”
James nodded. “I heard you and Harper took care of Winnie last Sunday. It was really nice of you guys to do that.”
I shrugged. “It was all Harper. Brystol and Harper are going back over tonight to spend time with Hope and Winnie, while Liam heads to The Muddled Moose to check on things. Hope’s father will also be there, but the idea is to give them all a break from caregiving.”
“That has to be hard on Hope, as well.”
Nodding, I glanced at James. “I don’t know if I could do it.”
“Do what?” he asked.
“Be strong while watching the woman I love slowly dying.”
“Are things that bad?” he asked quietly.
I rubbed at the instant ache in the back of my neck. “Aurora’s brother told her that the chemo isn’t working like they’d hoped. The cancer isn’t shrinking; it’s actually spreading. Liam and Hope are trying to decide if she should keep going with the treatment, or stop and try to enjoy what time she has left.”
“Fuck,” James whispered. “I can’t imagine.”
“That’s why I’ll never fall in love.”
We both looked at Gavin. At some point, he’d finished his conversation with the kid and fallen back into step with us.
“What?” I asked.
“I never want to love someone like that.”
James and I both stopped walking and faced Gavin.
“Nothing says that the woman you fall in love with will get cancer and die, Gavin,” James argued.
He shook his head. “It’s not worth the risk.”
“You don’t think love is worth the risk?” I asked.
“No. All love does is bring you hurt and pain—and you can’t tell me otherwise. I’ve experienced it.”
“That’s not true,” I replied.
“Are you in love?” Gavin asked.
I thought for a moment about Harper and me, and how I felt about her. Then replied, “I am in love. And I’ve been waiting to tell her because, in my mind, I figured it was too soon. But now that you’ve made me think about it, I’ve decided it’s never too soon to tell someone how you feel.”
“Hell no, it’s not!” James said with a slap to my back.
Gavin looked away, but not before I saw his expression. It was a look of hurt…or maybe longing.
“Was it long ago you were in love?” I asked.
He let out a bark of laughter. “Feels like it was forever ago. I vowed never again.”
“Dude, exactly what happened to make you so cynical?” I asked.
Gavin waved off my question. “Listen, if you two want to believe in love, have at it. But for me, it’s not worth it. Besides, why would I tie myself down to just one person? No, thank you.”
“Hey, guys!”
Harper’s voice made my insides zip with an energy I only felt when she was near me. I looked over and saw she was outside the floral shop, watering the plants.
“Hey there,” I said when I reached her, kissing her gently. “I’ve missed you.”
Her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. “You just saw me earlier this morning.”
Winking, I lowered my voice. “Then I miss being in bed with you. Naked.”
When she looked away, I couldn’t help but chuckle. Once she recovered, she looked back at the three of us. “Doing your daily Main Street walk, I see. I’ve had a lot of people tell me they love seeing you guys out and about like this.”
“Good,” Gavin replied. “That was the goal. Makes us seem a bit more accessible.”
Harper smiled. “I’ve noticed more people stopping and talking to you, so you’re right about that.”
“Is that…Brystol?” Gavin asked, trying to see around some tourists.
Harper glanced over her shoulder. “Yep. She’s watching Winnie today.”
Brystol came walking up the sidewalk with a sleeping Winnie in her stroller.
“Wow, she’s crashed,” James said, bending down to peek at Winnie.
“I know! I’d barely started our walk and she was out like a light.” Brystol smiled down at Winnie.
“God help you if she poops.”
Brystol shot Harper a dirty look. “Hilarious, Harper.”
“What are you doing with her?” Gavin asked.
Brystol must not have noticed him, or she’d chosen not to pay attention to Gavin when she’d first joined us, but once he spoke, her smile vanished and she stood taller, her shoulders squared off as if she were preparing for a battle.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m helping Liam and Hope by taking Winnie for a few hours.”
“Who’s watching the toy store?” James asked.
“Melanie.”
Melanie was Brystol’s only full-time employee. She also had two part-time girls who worked the weekend.
Harper bent down and brushed back one of Winnie’s curls. “How long are you watching her for?”
“We’re actually on our way back to her house. I just took her for a couple hours to give Liam and Hope some alone time.”
“That was nice of you,” Gavin said.
Brystol snapped her head so hard, I was surprised it didn’t break. “Thank you, but it’s the least I can do.”
“Do you want to come in for a drink before you head back?” Harper asked her.
“No, thanks. I’d better get her back. We’ve been gone for a bit longer than I’d promised, but I had so much fun at the park with her. She loves the swings!”
I couldn’t help but notice how Gavin was staring at Brystol as if seeing her through new eyes. He finally turned away and started to continue on down the sidewalk.
“We should get going. Bye, Harper, Brystol.”
“Bye, James,” both women said in unison.
“Bye, Gavin!” Harper called out. He turned around, smiled, and waved.
I pulled Harper toward me and kissed her a little longer than was publicly decent before drawing back and whispering, “I’ll see you later, baby.”
Those beautiful cheeks turned pink again, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“I’ll be counting down the hours.”
“Gag me,” Brystol said, as she started to push the stroller with the still-sleeping Winnie inside past us.
James chuckled and hit my chest. “Let’s go, lover boy.”
He and I jogged to catch up to Gavin.
“Man, you couldn’t get out of there fast enough,” James said to his brother.
“I just don’t care to be around her.”
“Must make things awkward since your best friend is married to her best friend,” I said as I glanced across the street. “Is that Tanner Browning again, peeking into Aurora’s place?” I asked as I pointed toward the young kid standing outside the bookstore.
Gavin strained to look. “It doesn’t look like the same kid.”
James started across the street as he said, “Let’s find out.”
Gavin and I followed. When the kid saw us walking toward him, he looked like he might take off running. Instead, he just stood there like a deer in headlights.
“Everything okay here?” James asked, coming to a stop in front of the kid.
“Yeah, I’m waiting for my girlfriend to come out of the bookstore.”
I glanced through the window and saw two young girls standing in line to pay for books. “Yeah? What’s your girlfriend’s name?” I asked.
“Autumn.”
Nodding, I moved past him into the bookstore. Aurora glanced up and waved when she saw me. Approaching the counter, I smiled at the two young girls. “One of you wouldn’t happen to be Autumn, would you?”
The girl with light red hair raised her hand. “I’m Autumn.”
“Do you know the young man standing outside there?” I pointed toward the front window.
“Um, yeah, that’s my boyfriend, Wes. Is everything okay? He got tired of waiting on us and went outside.”
“He was in here with the girls,” Aurora said. “But he got bored.”
“Great, just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
Aurora flashed me a smile. “Of course. Thank you for keeping an eye on us.”
“No problem.”
Turning, I started out the door—and when I stepped outside, came to an abrupt stop.
“What in the hell are you doing?” I asked.
Gavin and James were kneeling on the sidewalk, throwing dice. James looked up. “Wes here is showing us a dice game.”
I stared at them both like they’d lost their damn minds. “A dice game?”
“Left, Center, Right,” Wes stated with a huge grin. “I’m teaching them.”
Reaching down, I grabbed both Gavin and James, pulling them up. “Are you out of your minds? That’s gambling , and you’re playing it right here on Main Street? In your uniforms?!”
“You can play it without gambling, sir,” Wes said, as he picked up the dice. “But it’s more fun with money. Don’t forget, Officer Quinn, you owe me ten dollars.”
I shook my head and held up my hands. “Wes, let me give you a piece of advice.”
He smiled again. “Yes, sir?”
“Don’t play a gambling game with two police officers. Number one, are you even eighteen? Number two, they’re cops. And number three, that’s just plain stupid.”
Wes looked at James and Gavin. “Well, they were the ones who wanted to play.”
I stared at him, then closed my eyes. God help this kid.
When I opened my eyes, Gavin and James were fighting smiles…and I knew they were fucking with me.
“I’m heading back to my patrol car.”
“Oh, come on, Declan!” James called out. “It was just some harmless fun! We told Wes to play along just to get you worked up. I don’t really owe him ten bucks.”
“You said you’d give me ten dollars to pretend to play dice,” Wes corrected.
I turned and pointed at them. “You’re both assholes.”
Laughing, they quickly caught up to me. Gavin knocked against my arm. “Think of it as a fraternity initiation.”
“First, we’re not in a fraternity. Second, you’re a grown-ass man.”
“Who likes to have fun. Come on, Declan, we…”
His words faded, and I glanced over at him. He was frowning. “What’s wrong?”
“Is that smoke?” Gavin asked, and James and I both whipped our heads in the direction he pointed.
“Fuck. It is!” James shouted, as he took off running, Gavin and I hot on his heels.
“It’s in the historical district, it looks like!” Gavin shouted, as we each ran to our cars. James called it in, and a sinking feeling came over me as we pulled out and headed toward the smoke.
“Please don’t be Liam and Hope’s house.”