The Butterfly Effect - Chapter One - Willa
Willa
Senior Year
“Promise you won’t say anything, Willa,” Lacy begged.
I rolled my eyes and glared at her. “Lace, you’re going to the same party as Hunter and you want me to stay home. How is that fair?”
She folded her arms over her chest and sighed. “Willa, you cannot go to a party that’s going to be all college kids. Hunter would kill me if he knew I brought you, not to mention Mom and Dad if they ever found out.”
“How will they know? Hunter even said he might not be going.”
“That’s because something better came up. Or someone better,” Lacy stated.
I snarled my lip. “Gross. Didn’t need that visual.”
Lacy smiled. “Less than a year, Willa. After this May, you’ll be college bound and heading to plenty of parties!”
I dropped my head back against the sofa. “This isn’t fair! I’m eighteen, I should be able to go.”
She glanced away before she focused back on me. “Yes, and also still in high school. There will be no high school people there. None. Plus, you may not have noticed, but you’re beautiful. You’ve grown into one of those pinup girls that guys used to hang up in the garages back in granddad’s day. You have a curvy figure and the innocence that make all guys go mad. If those college guys get one look at you, it’s all over. We’ll be beating them off with sticks.”
I laughed and motioned toward my equally stunning sister. “Hello? We come from the same genes.”
“I know. But I’m in college; you’re still in high school. I’m not bringing you, and that’s the end of it.”
I shot off the sofa and huffed as I walked past her. “Fine. Go to your stupid party. I don’t really want to go anyway.”
“Willa, don’t be like that. Our brother will murder me if he knows I took you to a college party.”
I reached for my jacket and quickly put it on as I headed to the front door.
She sighed. “Where are you going?”
“To the barn!”
“It’s dark out! You can’t ride right now. Daddy will—”
When I spun back around, she stopped talking. “I’m eighteen years old, Lacy. I think I’m okay to go to the damn barn, and I wasn’t planning on riding. I just want to be around the horses, if that’s okay with you.”
She threw up her hands in defeat. “Fine, I’m out of here.”
I didn’t wait for her to say anything else. I opened the front door and walked out into the frigid night, slamming it before heading down the path that led to the barn, where we kept the horses and a few goats. My father usually kept most of the horses in the east pasture, but there were a few he stalled up on colder nights.
I’d take spending time with a horse over a stupid college party any day. It wasn’t like I was interested in any guys anyway. My heart belonged to one man and one man only. Aiden.
I smiled as I thought about him and the last letter he’d sent to me. I loved that he handwrote me letters; it felt more special. Most of his letters were just about nothing really. He asked me more about me than he said anything about him.
A few strands of blonde hair had fallen out of my ponytail, and a sudden gust of wind caused them to whip against my face. I wrapped my scarf around my neck tighter and marched forward as I whispered, “I wish you were home, Aiden.”
As I walked into the barn, I removed the scarf and shrugged off my coat, tossing both to the side. The heated barn felt good after the brief walk from the house. I noticed a light coming from the tack room and shook my head. My father would be pissed if he knew the light had been left on. He was a stickler for not wasting money. It was the farmer in him.
With a sigh, I headed toward the room and mumbled, “Hunter, you left the light on again.”
A whinny came from my right, and I turned to see Firelight bobbing his head. “I know, buddy, but it’s going to snow and we all know you’re actually a pansy ass when it comes to snow. Plus, it’s dark out. You don’t like the dark. You don’t want to go ride in the snow and the dark, do you?”
I walked over and gently rubbed the side of his neck…and frowned.
Sweat.
I looked into the stall and asked, “Did someone ride you?”
“Someone did.”
I froze. I’d know that voice anywhere.
Slowly, I turned—and saw Aiden leaning against the tack room doorframe.
I was positive my mouth hit the floor and my insides nearly burst on the spot. If I had thought eighteen-year-old Aiden was handsome, I was not ready for twenty-one-year-old Aiden. He stood before me in jeans and a long-sleeve T-shirt that hugged his upper body in the most delicious of ways. It was almost sinful how hot he looked. A backwards baseball cap sat on his head, a SEAL trident stitched on the back. His jaw was covered with the slightest bit of stubble. His body looked like one of those chiseled statues you’d find in Rome somewhere of a handsome Roman fighter. He had a smoking-hot body.
Oh. Holy. Hell.
“Aiden,” I whispered as a smile grew across my face. “Oh my gosh, Aiden!”
Without even thinking, I ran to him and threw myself into his outstretched arms. I hadn’t seen him since he had graduated more than three years ago.
Three years.
He had come home once since then, but I had been on a school trip to Italy at the time and had just missed him.
“You’re home! You’re really here!” I said as my body instantly heated from Aiden’s arms wrapped tightly around me.
“I’m not home long,” he said, his arms slowly letting go of their grip on me. “I’m between deployments, I have to head back to Virginia Beach in a few days. I’m sorry I missed you the last time I was on leave.”
“It’s okay! I hated that I was on that stupid school trip.”
He finally stepped back and gave me a once-over. “Wow, Willa, you’ve certainly grown up.”
“You’ve changed too,” I said with a slight chuckle. I ran my finger along his stubble and tried not to let him notice how my hand trembled. “I didn’t think you could possible get any more handsome.”
He laughed and shook his head. “You never were afraid to say what you thought.”
I grinned. “Does Hunter know you’re here?”
“Yeah, we were together a couple of hours ago. I wasn’t in the mood for a college party, so I asked him if I could come ride for a bit and come see you.”
My heart felt like it skipped a beat. “You wanted to come see me?”
He nodded and gave me a look that said a million and one different things, but none that I could read.
“I wish you told me you were here, I would have gone riding with you.”
His smile faltered for the briefest of moments. “I needed the alone time.”
With a quick nod, I replied, “I get that. By the way, congratulations, Frogman. I know I’ve written and told you, but I couldn’t wait to tell you in person.”
His dimples came out as he graced me with a wide smile. “Thanks.”
“How is it? Being a SEAL?”
“Good. Hard. A mind fuck most of the time, but I love it. My goal is to be on one of the best SEAL teams.”
“One of the best?”
“Yeah, the best of the best.”
I took his hand and led him over to the hay bales. “That doesn’t surprise me. You always did have the drive to be the best. You haven’t gotten hurt, have you?”
He shook his head. “Nah, not really.”
“Liar,” I said with a sharp look. If he thought he could hide the truth from me, he was wrong.
He raised his hands in defeat. “Never could lie to you, Willa.”
We both sat down, and I turned to face him, crossing my legs as I tried not to ogle him. The way he looked was enough to set my panties on fire. “Hunter has been keeping me up to date with how things are going when I don’t hear from you as often as I’d like.”
He frowned and looked away.
“It’s okay, I know you’re busy, and you talk to him on the phone more often than you write. Will you stay stationed in Virginia Beach?”
He nodded. “Yeah, if I stay on the same SEAL team.”
“And you’re going out on deployment again?”
He nodded.
“Where to?”
He drew in a breath and then sighed. “Can’t really share a whole lot of what I do.”
“I get that. No social media?”
He shook his head. “No. But I can email you if you want to keep in touch more often.”
“I’d like that,” I said with a grin.
“Not sure how often it will be though.”
“Is there, um…anyone, you know…” My voice trailed off.
A sexy grin moved across his face. “No, I don’t know.”
I rolled my eyes because I knew he knew what I meant. “Are you dating anyone?”
He laughed. “No. I haven’t had time for any of that, and honestly, I don’t think it’s a good idea to be involved with anyone. I need to keep my head on, and thinking about some girl and what she’s doing while I’m deployed would not allow me to think straight. I see some of the guys on my team get messed up when it comes to girls.”
“That makes sense,” I said, trying not to show how happy I was that he wasn’t seeing anyone—while still hating that he said he wasn’t interested in getting involved.
“You?” he asked as he stared into my eyes.
I shook my head. “No. I mean, I’ve dated a few guys, but not for long. I’m not really interested in getting involved with anyone.”
Aiden reached out and ran one of my loose strands of hair between his fingers. “A woman as beautiful as you should have guys beating down your door.”
A rush of flutters hit my stomach. “You finally don’t see me as a little girl anymore, huh?”
His eyes darkened. “I haven’t seen you as a little girl in a number of years, Willa.”
That caused me to lift my brows. “Are you stalking me?”
He laughed. “I do have ways to keep tabs on you, if I really wanted to.”
I laughed. “I bet you do. Have you been deployed to very dangerous places?”
His brows went up. “Um…why?”
With a shrug, I replied, “I don’t know, I just worry about you.”
He nodded and finally let my hair slip from his fingers as he dropped his hand. Whatever spell he had been under, it was now broken. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, and he looked away from me. “I don’t know what in the hell I’m doing.”
I drew my brows together in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Aiden let out a small chuckle and shook his head. “Nothing, I don’t mean anything. I’m tired.”
My heart hammered in my chest so loudly I was positive he heard it. “Did you want to come into the house? My folks are at a Christmas Eve party and, well, you know where Hunter is. Lacy’s at the same party.”
Aiden looked back at me, a strange expression on his face. “I think about you a lot, Willa. Your smile…it always did make me feel happier. When things are tough, that’s what I think about.”
“My smile?” I asked as I reached for his hand and held it. I was so relieved when he didn’t pull away.
He nodded. “Yeah, your smile.”
We stared at each other for a few moments before he cleared his throat and went on. “So, Boston University, huh?”
I let out a soft chuckle. “Yep. Getting a business degree. The plan is to come back home and take over the orchard once my folks retire. Now that Hunter is a police officer, he doesn’t have a lot of time to help my dad.”
“I’m glad Jack beat the cancer.”
My eyes stung with the threat of tears. Anytime I thought about the battle my father went through to beat his cancer, it nearly made me fall into a puddle on the floor, weeping. “Me too.”
“Glad you’re getting a business degree. That’s good. You always said you were gonna run the orchard someday.”
Glancing down at our joined hands, I shrugged. “Hunter and Lacy aren’t interested in it, but I’ve always loved the apple trees. The land. It makes me feel at peace.”
A pained expression moved over his face before it vanished as fast as it appeared. He smiled and softly said, “I know.”
My mouth and lips suddenly went dry. I ran my tongue along them, and Aiden quickly stood and turned away from me.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Yes. No. I don’t know, Willa. I really don’t know,” he replied with a laugh that sounded more confused than humorous.
With a frown, I stared at his back. Was he shaking?
I stood and reached out to touch his shoulder.
Aiden spun around, grabbed my hand, and before I knew it, I was back against the wall of the barn, his mouth inches from mine.
“You’re confusing me,” he said, his voice hoarse, as if he had been screaming for hours.
“I’m…I’m what?” I stammered as I frantically searched his face with my eyes. Aiden’s throat bobbed, and I snapped my gaze up to meet his.
“I can’t, Willa. I can’t do this.”
My head spun, and I let out a confused chuckle. “What are you talking about, Aiden? Now you’re confusing me .”
Then he did the one thing I never dreamed he would do. He kissed me.
Our lips pressed together in what started off as a sweet kiss, an innocent kiss, before Aiden prompted me with his tongue to give him more. And I gave him more. I’d give this man anything he asked of me. I brought my arms up and wrapped them around his neck while I pressed my body into his. He was solid muscle, and I groaned at the feel of him. A low growl came from the back of his throat, and I swore it vibrated through every inch of my body.
Aiden was kissing me.
And like that, it was over. He stepped back, scrubbed his hands over his face, and then bent over with his hands on his thighs and took deep breaths in and out.
I was frozen. Unable to move, and honestly as confused as all get out. What had just happened?
“Um, I, ah, I didn’t mean to kiss you,” he said.
“You didn’t?” I asked, a touch of anger mixed with disappointment in my voice.
He looked at me, and I watched his chest rise and fall with each breath. “I shouldn’t have kissed you is what I meant.”
“Why not? I wanted you to kiss me, Aiden. I’ve dreamed of you kissing me.”
He straightened and took a step back, shaking his head. “No, you don’t want that, Willa.”
A humorless laugh escaped my mouth, but it sounded colder than anything. “I’m pretty sure I’ve wanted you to kiss me since I was like eleven, Aiden.”
His confused expression turned to one of panic. “I can’t. I cannot give you what you want, Willa. I’m not interested in a relationship and I…I wasn’t thinking. I took one look at you, and you’re hot as fucking hell, and I was thinking with my cock and not my head.”
I flinched and took a step back.
Aiden closed his eyes for a second and then turned away from me. “It was good seeing you, Willa.”
“That’s it? You’re going to treat me like that and then just leave? I’m not asking you to be my boyfriend, Aiden. But don’t you dare walk away from me and pretend we’re not friends. If you never kiss me again, I’ll be okay with that, but I don’t want you to walk away from me like this.”
Aiden slowly turned and faced me once again. “Friends?”
I nodded. “Yes. Always.”
His hand came up to his mouth, and he honestly seemed to be struggling with something.
“Talk to me, Aiden. What’s wrong?”
With another shake of his head he walked back up to me. He cupped my face in his hands and stared into my eyes. “I’m sorry, Willa. I wish I could, but I can’t.”
“You wish you could what? Aiden, you’re making no sense right now.”
He drew in a deep breath and then slowly let it out as he rested his forehead against mine. “You’re so beautiful, and one day some lucky bastard is going to marry you, you’ll have babies, and you’ll teach them all about apples.”
I searched his face before placing my hands on his arms.
“I’m sorry that person can’t be me.” He closed his eyes and whispered, “I want it to be me so fucking badly.”
I drew in a breath, but before I could say anything, he pressed his mouth to mine once more. The kiss was so sweet, yet full of an emotion I couldn’t pinpoint. I tried to get closer. If I could have crawled into his body, I would have.
He jerked his mouth from mine, and I fought for air.
“You’ll always have my heart, Aiden. I swear to you, it will always belong to you.”
He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut before he looked down at me. “Don’t wait for me, Willa.”
I lifted my chin, about to tell him I’d wait for eternity, when he kissed me once more and then whispered against my lips, “Friends, always.”
He drew back, wiped the tears away from my cheeks, and then took a step away.
With a shaky voice that didn’t even sound like my own, I replied, “Friends, always.”