17. Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
Kay
G erta is as silent as the snow surrounding us as she lets me tug her forward, moving between sparse pine trees as we round Mount Schneekonigin. I’m not dragging her, but she is certainly trudging as slowly as she can behind me without pulling away.
I brace myself for a fight. Gerta is likely traveling with me this compliantly thus far because I have the only weapons between us and the Snow Queen might still hunt us. I have no illusion that she won’t turn against me the moment we are back in familiar territory. She’s just wise enough to conserve her energy now.
Still, I wish Gerta would fill the silence, not that I liked her last words, practical as they were.
It is true that I have not considered anything past keeping us both alive long enough to fulfill my mission of taking her to camp. I have long ago discovered that the only way I can accomplish a task is if I compartmentalize or the next steps become too emotionally overwhelming. “Only the next foothold” has been my life’s motto.
What I told her is true— Commander Muller is a just man. Gerta will receive no penalty outside of the law.
However, in all his justice, Commander Muller is not a merciful man. Whatever penalty he decides to give her will remain unchanged by the fact that she is a lady rather than a man. And while I know not the punishment he has designed, I know it will make an example of her.
Knowing Commander Muller’s eye for an eye policy, he will likely deny her provisions. And knowing that she’s an orphan, she won’t be ransomed like prisoners from wealthier families. No, Gerta would only serve to be an example to parade around so that those with forbidden dreams and no funds to fuel them will remember their place.
I glance back at Gerta, her steps stiff from the trials this day forced upon her but her chin held high.
For a moment, I think I see a single tear flowing down her face. Then Gerta turns away, her golden braid flashing in the starlight as she shields her face from view.
She is both a fierce warrior and a fragile mortal. Her spirit is fiercer than mine because her body won’t heal as quickly yet she is still courageous.
Gerta is correct— everyone has the right to freedom. Mayhap there are some who forfeit it, but not her. At least, not by my code of law.
But it is no longer just my creed I must obey; I have sworn an oath to serve Constantinium. Even if it feels like my mission has shifted to keeping Gerta alive and well, that is not why I was sent. I have to turn her in, no matter how much it pains me.
Unless, of course, a compromise can be negotiated. After all, with no higher commanding officer nearby during this emergency situation, I do have that authority . . .
“Gerta, I have a proposition for you.”
She halts. “Pardon?”
I see what almost looks like a road ahead, and new excitement fills me. We’re almost clear— but first I need to sort out the question of Gerta’s freedom so my conscience can remain unburdened. “It occurs to me that I cannot take in a guerilla rebel cell leader . . . if there is no such person to take in.”
Grinning like a fool, I whirl around to find Gerta staring at me like I’m an estrie.
She tugs at her hand. “First you proposition me, and now you’re threatening me? After everything we’ve been through together?!”
“I don’t understand.” I keep my grip on her, because I can’t let her go just yet. “Wait— you think I mean to execute you?”
“I have no idea what you mean to do!” Gerta continues to yank at her arm, and I’m half-afraid she’s going to dislocate it. “You just started speaking nonsense! Your really are a dummkopf !”
This must be the escape attempt I was bracing for.
Lunging, I close the distance between us before Gerta can injure herself and grab her other hand as well, in case she tries to disarm me with our new proximity.
“Let me go before you go completely mad!” Gerta screams, and I’m half-afraid she’ll bring either the Snow Queen or another avalanche down on us.
“I am letting you go! Once we agree to a few terms.”
Gerta stops fighting, going completely still like she wasn’t panicked at all. “You’re what ?”
“I can’t take back a rebel leader when there is no rebel leader to take back, can I?”
“Now it sounds like you’re threatening me again.”
Huffing, I try to think of something to explain before she goes off again. “I mean, if we can come to an arrangement where you and your people no longer steal the supplies from my men, there is no need for me to take you in to be made an example of.”
Gerta recoils. “‘Made an example of’? ”
“It wouldn’t just be captivity waiting for you; it would be humiliation, and neither of us want that.”
“‘Neither of us,’ huh? What about your precious mission?”
“I’ll just consider getting supplies to the fortress as my primary mission objective and hope my superiors are satisfied with the fact that our men are no longer starving.”
Gerta furrows her brows. “What do you mean?”
“My ‘sister.’”
“You involved your sister as a ploy?!”
I glance down at her gloved wrists between my hands. “I have no sister. It was entirely a ploy.”
“Of course it was.” Gerta huffs a gold strand out of her face.
Releasing one hand, I reach to tuck it back into its braid where it belongs.
Gerta stares at my hand so intently she almost goes cross-eyed. Then she turns back to me. “Well, what are the terms for the freedom you promised, and why should I believe you?”
“You should believe me because I have nothing to gain from this. I know where your camp is, so it would do me no good to follow you, and your men have evidently not found us to threaten me into releasing you.” From a strategic standpoint, this is completely foolhardy.
But even I know life isn’t completely about strategy. Some of it is about being able to go to sleep at night knowing I didn’t confine a free spirit to a cage.
“And why exactly would you let me go?” Gerta glances at my sheathed knife.
I angle it away from her while still holding her wrist. “So, you can take your people and find some other way to express your love for Gaelia besides trying to starve out the men who’ve come to keep it secure from Ehyptio.”
“Ehyptio is not our invader. ”
“And you are only a prisoner of Constantinium when you violate the laws put in place by the Empress with your King’s blessing.”
“A vassal king.” Gerta sniffs, but some of her fight has dimmed. He is the heir of the ancient Gaelic bloodline of Heritage Magic. The previous Emperor was wise to keep him on the throne, and the new Empress has upheld his reign. “I will never stop fighting.”
“Then find new ways to fight. But if you assault another caravan, they will send others from my troop, with at least one man trained to combat werwolfes. We have all the power to stop this, but I want to offer mercy.”
“I don’t want your mercy.”
I sigh. “I know you want your freedom. But things are more complicated than trying to starve out soldiers who will receive reinforcements before they retreat. Gaelia is no longer just yours, just as I am no longer just Gaelic. But you are still free and can continue to be so. Just know that if you steal again, it will be out of my hands to ensure you remain so. Don’t be illogical.”
Gerta chews her lips.
And I release her hands. My fingers that had been holding hers all night long ache for her warmth immediately.
“Y-you’re really doing it?”
“Yes.” I nod toward where I think I see our escape. “I’ll take you to the road. Then you can return to your people and lead them to a new life, and I can return to my old one.”
Gerta gapes at me, and I turn to continue trudging through the snow, which is halfway up my shins here.
At the sound of grunting, I glance back to find Gerta carefully walking in the path I leave behind.
Smiling to myself, I turn forward again and take as large of steps as possible .
Then the snow is only to my ankles as I find myself standing in the road at last.
Grinning like a fool now, I turn to assist Gerta onto the road like I would have helped her out of a chariot if our lives were different.
Her eyes widen as she steps onto the road with me. “We made it!” Giggling, she throws her arms around me.
The warmth feels so good, I wrap my arms around her waist in return. Then, because all my endurance has returned with my relief, I lift her into a swirling circle. I set her down quickly, though, before she can think I’m making off with her again.
Gerta looks up at me from beneath her lashes, suddenly bashful. “This is where we part?”
For a moment, I’m frozen by her gaze, and I see something new in her warm, brown eyes. Something that somehow makes me think of eternity.
Clearing my throat, I nod. “Yes, this is where we part, just as I said. You have no need to fear me; just know that what comes next for you will be a consequence of your own choices like the freedom you love so much demands.”
“Thank you . . . I suppose.”
“For releasing you?”
She laughs at the ridiculousness of it all. “How about for saving my life . . . multiple times over.”
“It was for my mission.”
“That you are betraying for my sake.” Gerta finally looks me in the eye, and I see a dozen emotions swirling there beyond what I’ve trained myself to detect.
“My mission was to keep you alive while you were under my care. It would seem I’ve accomplished a second mission now, so my one failure will seem insignificant compared to all that I’ve accomplished.”
“What about your moral code? Isn’t this the same as failure? ”
I shake my head sadly, even though it’s true. “You never cared about the rules or my personal code when we were children; why start now? As for me, well, I think I like your moral code more. I hope you don’t mind my adopting it.”
A small smile stretches across Gerta’s lips that I could have had a chance to taste.
Now I never will.
Something like regret spikes through me, which is odd. I did not come here to marry a Gaelic woman, so why do I imagine kissing one?
At least she is no longer my prisoner . . .
Suddenly, Gerta is grasping my face and leaning forward.
Has she somehow read my thoughts?
This time, I am frozen like the ice around us as she leans toward me, this time with her trajectory for the cheek she kissed before. Then she halts. “I am sorry; I forgot myself for a moment. I remember now that you do not appreciate such tokens of gratitude.”
I grasp her hands before she can pull away, words falling from my lips before I can stop them. “You may kiss me.”