Chapter 22
COOPER
Spirits were high at the mill with the promise of a successful venture on the horizon. We were on the verge of putting Wood Hollow on the map in a big way. It wouldn’t be an overnight sensation, but this was happening and the whole town buzzed with excitement.
Or maybe everyone was just having a good summer.
I knew I was. The weather had been near perfect for weeks—nothing but blue skies and sunshine. I’d taken the kids out on the boat to fish or go swimming in the lake with Reg and his kids a few times. And Silas.
Ivy and Chase had insisted that he join us, and I was all for it. I wanted to spend as much time with Silas as possible. With all of them. I had no idea what autumn would bring, and it seemed smart to hoard memories like a squirrel preparing for a long winter.
“Be careful,” Reg had warned, watching Silas lead the kids in a cannonball competition off the side of the boat.
“I’m always careful,” I’d replied, jumping feet first in the water.
That was the fucking truth. I was painfully cautious and had been for years. I just wanted to have a bit of fun before hard decisions threatened the peace. It was coming, and I knew it.
“Hey, boss.” Layla knocked on my open door and peeked inside, her expression wary. “You have a visitor. It’s Sarah. She looks…serious. Should I send her in?”
“Yes…sure.”
Sarah appeared in a yellow sundress, anxiously gripping her purse strap, her eyes wandering my office. “Hi. I’m sorry to bug you.”
“No, it’s okay. Come in.” I stood politely, gesturing for her to take a seat.
“I will. If it’s okay, I’m going to close the door.”
Oh, shit.
“Sure.”
Sarah sat across from me and flashed a tepid smile. “Frank got the job transfer to Burlington. We’re moving in August.”
And…here we go.
I swallowed hard. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks. I—he’s thrilled. It’s a great opportunity because it leads directly back home within a year.”
“Oh?”
Sarah fiddled with the folds of her dress. “Yes. They’re remodeling a building in Pinecrest, and with any luck, he’ll be one of the first agents in the new office there. So…this is a temporary move. One year.”
“Okay.”
“Okay? That’s it?” She narrowed her eyes in confusion.
I leaned forward, elbows on my desk, fingers steepled. “I want them to stay here…with me.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“Just what I said. I want Wood Hollow to be home base.”
She gasped. “I’m their mother.”
I didn’t state the obvious. I let silence gather before I spoke.
“I’ve been thinking about this for months.
Thinking I’d leave and follow you and Frank to fuck knows where to avoid any big lawyer bullshit that would tear us apart and make the kids miserable.
San Diego? Yep. Albany? Why the hell not?
But that’s not rational, and I’m sure it’s the last thing you’d want anyway.
Yet that leaves me high and dry, and I’m not willing to go weeks without them.
We can figure something out that won’t uproot them entirely, and I think staying here makes the most sense. ”
“They’d have to change schools here too.”
“Yes, but they have friends in Wood Hollow, and this is as much home to them now as Fallbrook.”
She pulled a tissue from her purse and dabbed at her eyes. “I-I can’t do that. No way.”
“Think about it.”
Sarah frowned. “Leave them? I can’t think about it. I can’t. I just…”
“Please,” I said, my voice cracking with emotion I’d been hoping to hide. “Just think.”
She nodded, tears welling in her eyes as she walked out.
I swiveled in my chair, jaw tense, my heart beating furiously in my chest. I swiped at my face and took a deep breath. I’d played my card. It was her move now.
Another day went by. And another.
I was thinking about lawyers and what a fucking mess this was going to be, when Sarah called and asked to meet at my house.
She wore a black sundress this time, her hair was pulled into a lazy ponytail, and her eyes were swollen. She dropped her purse on a barstool and immediately started pacing.
“I talked to Frank. I’m…I’m—fuck, I can’t believe I’m going to say this but maybe moving them is selfish.”
“No one said that word.”
“I know, but I feel like it’s…selfish. I don’t know what to do. If you weren’t you, this would be a no-brainer.”
“What does that mean?” I snorted.
“You’re a good dad, a good man,” she replied softly. “I wish we hadn’t come to this. Two houses, two towns. I wish you and I had—”
“Don’t. What’s done is done. This isn’t about us. It’s about Ivy and Chase.”
Sarah inhaled shakily. “Yes. I think we should ask them. They’re old enough to decide.”
“No. They’re not. That would be selfish,” I protested, ignoring her sob.
“We’re the adults here. We have to be on the same page.
We set the tone and rules. If they push back and they’re miserable, we’ll listen and make adjustments as needed, but we can’t offer an open choice.
They shouldn’t have to worry about hurting our feelings. ”
“You’re right.”
She cried and I couldn’t stand it. I circled the island and hugged her. “Sar, we’re doing our best. That’s gotta count for something.”
“I know.” She swiped at her face. “I have questions for you. Can you handle the responsibility on your own? I heard about Mill Depot, and I imagine that’s going to take up some time.”
“I have a network of friends and family to lean on if I need to,” I assured her.
Sarah sniffed. “Right. Like your neighbor?”
“No. Silas is leaving soon.”
“But you and he—”
“No, that’s not—no.” I crossed my arms and briefly glanced out the window.
“In fact, if the house next door is empty, the guy who owns it might be open to renting it to you when you visit. If you’re able to work remotely, you can come every other week…
like we’re doing now. Burlington isn’t that far. Just a thought.”
She arched a brow. “Yeah, that’s an interesting idea. If it’s possible.”
“I’ll look into it. That might be a nice selling point for the kids,” I said. “Um, so…should we do this tonight and get it over with?”
“Yeah.” Sarah sighed, and burst into a new round of tears. “I think so.”
“Sar…”
“It’s okay. I’m all right.” She blew her nose. “Are you?”
“Yeah, but change is hard, and the kids might struggle with—”
“No, I meant you. Are you all right?”
I raked a hand through my hair. “I’m fine. It’s gonna be okay.”
She sniffed. “We’ll make sure they’re happy. I know that, but… You know, I’ve seen you with him, Coop.”
“Who?”
“Silas. He’s not out, is he?”
Sharp denial was always my first response, but this time…I supposed I was too damn weary to bother with anything but the truth.
“No.”
“And that’s not a problem?”
I leaned against the counter and shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. He’s leaving.”
“I want to say something, and I know it’s going to piss you off, but—you should tell him how you feel. Communicate.”
“Sarah…”
“You and I were never good at that,” she said in a tearful rush. “Not unless it was about Ivy and Chase. Kids come first. It’s a good philosophy, but…we got lost in the mix and—I’m sorry, Coop. I’m very, very sorry.”
“C’mere.” I pulled her close and hugged her as she sobbed ugly tears, her body heaving as she clutched at my shirt. “Shh. It’s okay.”
I wasn’t sure how long we stood like that, mourning the wreckage of our marriage—this time not as disillusioned spouses in a lawyer’s office, but as two people who’d once loved each other deeply…only to realize it wasn’t enough.
My heart hurt for the starry-eyed couple we’d been. And though our story didn’t have a happy ending, I had no regrets.
Sarah pushed out of my arms. “I should go.”
“See you tonight?”
“Yes. I’ll come by at seven.”
“Okay.”
Sarah grabbed her bag, hooked it on her shoulder, and kissed my cheek. “After all we’ve been through, I’m still so glad you’re the father of our children.”
I listened to the click of her heels on the hardwood flooring and the creak of the hinges as the front door opened and shut.
Silence echoed around me with a whoosh. I let it come for me the way it had when loneliness was a more constant companion. I should have been ecstatic, but this wasn’t a real victory. It was a case of winning one battle and preparing for the next. It never fucking ended.
But five minutes later, my head snapped up as Silas barged into the kitchen, carrying groceries.
“Yo! Coop!”
He set the bags on the counter next to me and smiled…and it was pure sunshine. He looked freshly showered, his longish hair brushed, and his Red Sox tee and workout shorts smelled like laundry detergent.
“Red Sox?” I plucked the T-shirt and breathed him in.
“Dude. I have no choice. According to Ger, I gotta start representing. I bought ingredients for Ivy’s summer squash salad. I told her I’d save you the trip to the market, so she texted me her list. Don’t tell her I said it sounds gross, by the way.”
“I won’t.” I cupped his neck and kissed him fiercely.
“Whoa.” Silas blinked as I released him. “I’m not complaining, but does that have anything to do with the van I saw pulling out of the driveway?”
I filled him in on my conversation with Sarah. Even the part about renting the house next door if that were an option.
He listened, and I realized he was good at it ’cause I didn’t stop talking until I’d run out of words.
Silas opened his arms wide and pulled me into a warm embrace, echoing my words to Sarah. “It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay.”
I went limp and leaned on him, wrecked with emotion and the stirrings of new worries. “Fuck, I hope so.”
“I know so. And I’m happy for you,” he said gently. “I know it’ll be tough too, but it hurts to think of them without you. You’re so good for them.”
You’re so good for me.
I bit the inside of my cheek and smiled. “Squash salad?”
Silas contorted his handsome features into a comedic ew face. “It might be time to hide a few of her cookbooks. The girl’s out of control with the healthy stuff. Luckily, I bought ice cream too.”
I laughed and took his lead.
It was okay to leave the heavier burdens for later.