Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Justin
I don’t have a TV. His voice plays over and over in my head.
I couldn’t help but call her. I actually wanted to go to her apartment and take her to Walmart and buy her a TV or even ten.
I didn’t care. Instead, she answered me in tears.
I know she did because I heard it, and more importantly, I felt it.
It’s fucking insane that I have this pull to her.
It’s because of Dylan, I keep telling myself. You are drawn to the kid.
I slam my car door, then walk into my condo, and the cold air hits me right away. Closing the door, I walk over to my couch and grab my laptop to bring with me to the island in my kitchen. I have a huge open floor plan, and my sister came down one weekend to make sure I had all my stuff.
Pulling up the documents I got with every kid coming to the program, I type in his name, and it comes up right away with a picture from his school.
I read all his information, or I start to, and then I stop.
My foot starts to bounce up and down, thinking about whether I should read it or not.
I want to read it, but I also don’t want her to feel like I’m snooping.
I look at one thing before I decide to shut it down. Single mom.
After shutting the laptop, I walk over to the fridge and open it, grabbing a bottle of water.
I close my eyes and think about what they are doing.
I take out my phone, and I almost call her again, but then I can hear my sisters’ voices in the back of my head calling me a stalker.
I walk toward the balcony and sit outside, watching the lights from the buildings start to shine brighter as the sun goes down.
So many things are going through my mind that I don’t know where to start.
“This is either the best thing ever, or it’s going to blow up in my face,” I tell the universe while I make my plan for the next day.
* * *
I hit the road at four thirty, not even sure what time she has to leave home to take the bus, but either way, I’m going to make sure I don’t miss her.
I pull up and see some people hanging around.
A couple of women who have seen better days look my way when I pull up to the curb and turn off the car.
I watch as the building slowly comes to life as the minutes tick by.
People taking the bus come out every five minutes, and right at six a.m., I see her walking down the sidewalk with a sleepy Dylan beside her and get out of my vehicle.
She is holding his hand and looking tired herself.
Her blond hair is pulled back in a high bun on her head.
I wait for her to look up, and when she finally sees me, she stops in the middle of the sidewalk.
I walk to her, her green eyes locking on mine as she stands there with her mouth hanging open.
Dylan stops moving and looks at her, and then his eyes fly to me, and he just smiles.
The big hockey bag is hefted over her left shoulder.
“What are you doing here?” she asks me, almost in a whisper.
“Well, I figured if I asked you if you needed a ride, you would tell me no, so I decided it would be better to just show up.” She looks down in order to hide her smile. “So now that I’m here, will you accept that ride?”
“What time did you get here?” she asks, and I reach over and slowly take the bag from her shoulder. She lets me but only because I think she’s still in shock that I’m standing here.
“Hey, buddy,” I say to Dylan, who rubs his eyes.
“Hi, Justin.” His voice is sleepy.
“Did you just pull him out of bed?” I ask, and she just nods her head.
“Yeah, if we wanted to make it to the rink by eight, we had to take the six o’clock bus,” she says, and we walk over to the truck.
“Why don’t you get him into the SUV, and I’ll put his bag in the trunk?” I say, and she opens the back door.
I close the trunk at the same time she closes the back door. “Are you okay?” I ask as she just stands there.
“Seriously, what are you doing here?” she asks, standing in front of me, and the wind picks up and some of the loose hair flies into her face.
“I,” I start, but I don’t even know why I am here. “Listen, you need a lift, and there was no way you would have taken it had I asked.”
“So you just show up here?” She looks around at the traffic of people coming our way.
“Answer me this.” I look at her, and I suddenly want to step closer to her. “Had I called you and offered you one, would you have taken me up on my offer?”
She doesn’t hesitate for even a second. “No,” she says. “You had to go out of your way yesterday to drive me home, so I wasn’t going to let you do it again today.”
I’m about to argue with her when the back door opens. “Mom, I’m hungry.”
“What are you in the mood for, buddy?” I ask him.
Without missing a beat, he just blurts out, “Pancakes, waffles, eggs, and some bread.” I look at Caroline, and I want to put my hand on her neck and bring her close to me and kiss her, but instead, I just shake my head.
“I think we should get him fed before he adds lobster to that list.” I see the worry set into her eyes, and I know she’s probably thinking about paying the bill.
“I owe you breakfast,” I say. “It’s on me.”
“How do you figure you owe me breakfast?” she asks.
“You’re letting me take you, and you aren’t giving me a hard time about it,” I say.
“So thank you.” I nod at her. “Now get in. I’m hungry, too.
” I turn and walk to the driver’s side, and I don’t even realize that I’m holding my breath, waiting for her to get in the SUV.
She gets in and then shakes her head. “Are we all ready?” I ask.
Looking behind me, I see as Dylan nods his head to me.
Pulling away from the curb, I make my way to the arena, stopping at a diner halfway there. I get out, and when I walk around, Caroline is already getting Dylan out of the vehicle. It looks like she is telling him something, and he just nods his head at her. “Everything okay?”
“Yes,” she says, and I look at Dylan who just nods.
We walk up to the entrance, and the bells on the door ring as soon as I pull it open. “Sit where you want,” the older white-haired lady says, rushing from behind the counter to the back.
“Pick a seat,” I tell them, and Caroline walks in front of me to a booth along the window.
She waits for Dylan to climb into the booth and then follows him in, and I sit in front of them.
I grab the menus tucked behind the salt and pepper shakers, handing one to Dylan and then one to Caroline. Then I look down at my own.
The lady who told us to sit comes over with three glasses of water. “Hey there, what can I get for you?” I look at Caroline to go first.
“Um,” she starts to talk and then looks down at the menu, and I see her eyes roaming over the menu.
“I can order first,” I tell the lady who holds the pad in one hand and the pen in the other.
“I’ll take pancakes, waffles, two eggs over easy, two eggs scrambled, some hash browns, six orders of toast, and three orange juices.
” The lady just rolls her lips, trying not to laugh, and I look up at her.
“Just put the plates in the middle, and we can all share.”
“Got it,” she says, and then looks at Caroline. “Did you want to add some fruit with that?” Caroline just shakes her head. “Coming right up.”
“Do you know how much food you just ordered?” Caroline leans over the table and directs her question at me, but her voice is louder than she intended.
“Well, you took too long, so I ordered for us,” I say, grabbing the water and taking a sip, my mouth suddenly dry.
“Can we talk?” Caroline says. “Outside.” She gets up. “Honey, I’ll be right outside.”
“Okay, Mom,” he says.
I smile at him. “Don’t eat all that food before I come back.
” He smiles back and shrugs. I follow Caroline outside, ignoring the fact that the yoga pants mold her ass like a second skin and should be worn with a long shirt to cover it.
I wonder to myself if I have a jacket in the car, and then I almost stop in my tracks.
What is happening to me? I don’t have time to think about it because we are outside in front of the window, and she looks in to see if Dylan is okay.
“I can’t afford to pay for this meal,” she says, her head held high and her shoulders back. “There is no way I can even imagine what that bill will be, but …”
I hold up my hand to stop her from talking. “When did I ask you to pay for anything?”
“I can’t afford to pay this. Not now”—she talks faster now—“not next week, not even next month. I am not a charity case.”
“Are you done?” I ask and wait for her to indicate she is listening.
I step into her space, and she takes one step back, which pisses me off to no avail.
Suddenly, I want to sit her down, and I want her to tell me everything.
I want to know everything about her, but something says to tread lightly.
“I’m not doing it for charity, and I don’t expect you to pay me back.
Not this week, not next week, not even next year.
I don’t know your story, Caroline, and I’m not even sure you would tell me, but I want you to listen and to pay attention to the words I’m about to say.
I’m doing this because I want to and because I can.
I’m doing this because sometimes people come into your life for certain reasons.
I don’t always know what that reason is, but I know that I want to be your friend, Caroline.
And as your friend, this is what people do. ”
“I don’t have many friends,” she says, and I smile. “I mean, if you think about it, I probably have maybe one friend. But she’s more of an acquaintance.”
“Well, I’m happy I’m your first.” I try to make a joke but see that her eyes are filling with tears, and it kills me to see her cry.
“Don’t,” I say softly, and my hand flies out to touch her face and catch the tear that falls out of her eye.
“Don’t cry.” Her skin is soft like silk, and I want nothing more than to pull her to me.
“I’m not crying,” she says and steps out of my grasp. “It’s just I usually do things on my own.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” I say, then look in and see that the waitress is there with the food.
“It doesn’t make you less of a person to accept help.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure that kid can eat everything I ordered, so I think we should go in and make sure he doesn’t.
” I walk away, and when my hand touches the door handle, she speaks.
“Thank you,” she says softly, and I turn back to see her standing there with her hands in front of her. “I don’t know what your reason is, but I want to just say thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Caroline,” I say to her softly, and my heart speeds up. This tiny woman who comes at me with guns blazing and ready to go to war doesn’t even know how much she is worth.