Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Caroline
When I heard Dylan’s voice, it was as if ice water was dumped on me.
I jumped so fast away from Justin that I’m surprised I didn’t fall.
Spilling everything I had inside me and reliving everything that I went through was exhausting.
I don’t know why I did it or how but something about Justin Stone just made me want to share with him.
“I’m so hot,” Dylan says when I get to the bedroom. I didn’t want to say anything before but walking into the room was like entering a sauna. I need to get a box fan or two or maybe three. He pulls his shirt over his head, and I see that his hair is matted to his head.
“Do you want to take a cool shower?” I ask, and he just shakes his head and lies back down and falls asleep. I know that by the time I wake up in the morning, he’ll be in just his boxers.
I turn and walk back out of the room and see Justin standing there looking at me. His eyes never leaving mine. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, just hot,” I say. I’m suddenly embarrassed and feel silly about how I practically threw myself at him.
“I should get going,” he says, and I just nod. When I walk him to the door, he turns and takes me in his arms. Before I can say anything, he wraps his arm around my waist and picks me up off my feet, then kisses me on the lips. “Lock up, sweetheart.”
He gives me one more small kiss when he sets me down and then walks out of the apartment. I close the door after him and quietly turn the lock. My forehead hits the door, and I close my eyes, my lips still tingling from his kiss. I swear I smell him all around me.
“Don’t go down that path, Caroline,” I tell myself.
Pushing off from the door, I take a deep breath, but it’s the wrong thing to do since his smell is still all over me.
His sweater is on the table, so I sniff my T-shirt and realize his smell is all over me.
My hands, my bare arms, everything around me smells like him.
I walk to the bathroom and undress after turning on the shower and adjusting the temperature to cold.
It never really gets cool, or maybe my body is scorching hot just thinking about him.
I stand under the water, letting it cascade all around me.
The whole time, I’m having this conversation with myself about how stupid it would be to get involved with him.
How he is so out of my league and there is nothing I can do to catch up to him.
I use the white towel hanging on the towel rack to dry off and then slip into my shorts and a tank top.
When I open the door, it’s still not cooler.
I open the windows a touch more, but there isn’t even a breeze outside tonight.
It’s just stale hot air. The sounds of crickets in the distance and someone arguing somewhere.
I look out at the courtyard and see a group of guys hanging by the front door.
Off to the side, some teenage kids are shooting basketball.
I don’t know how long I stand here when the ringing starts.
I turn to look around, confused as to where it’s coming from, when I finally find it under Justin’s sweater on the kitchen table.
I turn it over and see it’s his cell phone, and that someone is calling him.
I look down at the phone not sure what to do and then the ringing stops.
I don’t have time to think again when the phone starts ringing again, and this time, I slide the button right and answer it. “Hello,” I say, my voice low.
“Hey there,” Justin says.
“Justin?” I say, confused. “I think you forgot your phone here.”
He laughs now, and I hear him walking around. “I guess you can say I forgot it.”
“You didn’t forget it.” I walk to the futon and sit down, folding my legs under me. “You left it here.”
“I did,” he says. I hear covers in the background and wonder if he’s sliding into his bed. I wonder what his house looks like. I know from just the lobby that it must be gorgeous and also worth a fortune.
“Why?” I ask. Getting up, I walk to the table to get his sweater and bring it back to the futon with me, putting it beside me.
“Would you have taken it if I had handed it to you?” he asks, and I don’t have to answer. “Exactly.”
“So you just left your phone here?” I ask, shaking my head.
“Yup, the passcode is one, two, three, four,” he says without skipping a beat. “I want to have you and Dylan over at my house.”
“What?” I whisper.
“I want you and Dylan to come and hang out here tomorrow after work,” he says. “I can throw a couple of steaks on the grill, and we can watch a movie.” My stomach does this weird thing where it feels like it’s sinking but then flutters. “Or we can go out. It’s up to you.”
“Justin, I—” I start to form the words.
“Caroline, there is something here,” he says softly. “You can pretend it’s not, but tonight when I kissed you.” His voice goes even lower. “It was everything.”
“I just don’t think …” All these reasons are there, practically written on the wall, yet nothing comes out of my mouth.
“Stop thinking,” he says. “Tomorrow, I’ll come get you guys.
We can go out for breakfast before work, and then you let me spoil you by making you dinner and taking care of you for once.
Come over and sit down. I’ll get you some wine if that will help,” he says, chuckling, and I laugh also just a little.
“Come on, sweetheart, say yes,” he whispers.
“Take a chance on me. I promise you won’t regret it. ”
I want to say no. I should say no, but I close my eyes, and whisper, “Yes.”
“Thank you,” he gushes. “Thank you. Now, go to sleep, and I’ll be there in the morning.”
“Good night, Justin,” I say and hang up the phone and look down at the lock screen.
A phone is so personal. He has everything in this phone, and he just left it to me.
The Facebook app has a red number with ninety-nine, and then next to it is the Instagram app with the same number.
I don’t open any of the apps, but I do check what he has and find Gmail, TSN, NHL, Zara’s Closet, and the Horton Foundation.
There are a couple of others, but I don’t touch any of it.
I will admit that I’m almost tempted to go through his pictures and see if there are any pictures of his family or even ones of him with other women.
The thought makes me sick, so I lie on the futon with his sweater in my arms. Slowly, my eyes close, and I dream of him and his smile.
When the alarm goes off, I groan out loud.
Opening one eye, I see that it’s still dark but I can hear the birds chirping outside, so I look at Justin’s phone.
Since it’s only four a.m., I set another alarm for six and then quickly fall back asleep.
This time when the alarm goes off, it’s followed by a knock on the door.
Groaning, I get up and walk to the door. “Who is it?” I ask.
“It’s me,” Justin says, and I open the door. “Good morning,” he says cheerfully. Walking into the apartment, he has his hands filled with coffee and doughnut boxes. He stops next to me and bends to kiss my lips. “You smell like me,” he says, and I shake my head and close the door. “You look tired.”
“Yeah, well, your alarm went off at four a.m.,” I say, and he takes a white cup of coffee and brings it to me. “Why do you get up at four a.m.?”
He hands me the coffee, and I take a sip while he walks back to the table to grab his own coffee. “I work out from four to five thirty.”
“In the morning?” I ask, shocked. “Why?”
“I usually work out after the rink, but I like the morning better,” he says, and I have to wonder if he does it because he’s stuck driving us home.
“You do that for us?” I ask, and he just looks at me and sits down at the table. Today, he’s wearing blue shorts and a white polo with his signature black and white Nikes.
“I need a shower,” Dylan says from behind me as he walks to the bathroom, ignoring or maybe not seeing Justin. He closes the bathroom door.
“I’m going to go get dressed.” I look at Justin who is just staring at me.
“That would be a good idea,” he says and adjusts himself, and I roll my lips. My hair is probably sticking up all over the place, my shorts are big on me, and the tank top has bleach stains on it, yet he’s sitting there getting aroused by me.
“I’ll be right back,” I say, turning to go into the bedroom.
I open the closet, and of the ten hangers, seven are empty.
I have the bare minimum of two pairs of jeans, two pairs of shorts, and seven tops.
Same with shoes; I have sneakers and then ballerina shoes.
If there is extra money, it goes to Dylan and his clothes since he’s growing like a weed.
I grab the summer dress that I use for church and slip it over my head.
The short sleeves ruffle just a bit at the end, so I smooth them down.
Looking down at the green dress with white flowers, I wonder if this is silly, and if I should just wear the jeans I wore yesterday.
I don’t have time to think about it before there is a knock on the door. “Come in.”
The door opens, and Dylan comes in with a doughnut in his hand.
“Justin brought doughnuts,” he says, standing there in his boxers as he gets the shorts and matching shirt he wore yesterday.
He opens his drawer to take out a pair of clean socks and then puts on his new blue and white Nikes. “How many can I have?”
“One and then I want you to eat something nutritious.” I turn and walk out of the room, seeing Justin on his phone.
He looks up, and the smile on his face fades as he eyes me from top to bottom.
I look down at my dress and wonder if it’s not good enough.
“I’ll be ready soon.” I avoid eye contact with him and walk into the bathroom, closing the door.
I wash my face with cold water, hoping that it’ll make the sting of tears go away. “It’s just temporary,” I say to myself while I dab my face with the towel. “Soon enough, he’ll move on.” I have to prepare myself for it, but my heart, my heart is left unprotected for the first time.