Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Caroline
I walk into Walmart, and the stale air hits me right away. My hands are clammy, and my knees are shaking. It’s surreal; this whole week has been surreal.
I spent extra time on my hair today and curled it with the wand that he had in his bathroom.
I tried not to think about who it belonged to, and when I went into the kitchen to clean up, my stomach was fluttering as if I was going to prom.
He walked out, and I don’t know what I expected, but I didn’t expect him to be so, just. Hot.
Then my mouth couldn’t stop talking, but then when he told me we could stop to grab the rest of my clothes from home, I thought I was going to throw up and ruin the only clothing I had.
I didn’t know how he would react, but I had to tell him the truth. I vowed never to lie to him, and I’m not going to. Besides,
watching him last night with Dylan was just the cherry on the cake.
The way he held him and refused to let him go.
I was waiting for him to fight with me about the clothing, but he didn’t, and when we step into Walmart, I head for the kids department and grab a pair of blue shorts that are on sale for nine dollars and a white T-shirt that is on liquidation for four ninety-nine.
“Can I wear my sneakers?” he asks, and I nod.
“It’s fine,” I say and go to the register and slip a folded twenty that I keep in the back of my wallet in a secret compartment that I cut into it.
We walk out of the store, and I see Justin on the phone with someone. When Dylan opens the door, I hear him say. “Okay, I got to go. Make it happen.”
“Did you find anything?” he asks, looking in the back at Dylan who just nods his head. I sit in the car next to Justin, and I realize that his whole outfit probably cost what I make in six months.
“Do you want to stop somewhere so he can change?” he asks, and I just shake my head.
“He can change in the car,” I say, and he looks at me. We make it to church, and when I get out, I’m looking around to make sure no one is there watching me.
“You okay?” Justin asks, and I just nod.
“I’m just nervous,” I say the truth. “I’m waiting for Andrew to show up and blame me for keeping him away from Dylan.”
“Gotta say, sweetheart. I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold myself back if that happens,” he says, and just the way he says it, I know that he means it, but the last thing I want is for Justin to be in trouble because of us.
“I changed,” Dylan says, coming out of the back seat wearing his new clothes. I walk over to him and twist his shorts so they are straight. “Mom,” he groans, and I grab his hand.
“Let’s go before we don’t have any seats,” I say, and we walk into the church. I see more than one head turn to look our way. It’s not hard to see why. I even hear a couple of whispers, but I ignore them and walk up to Father Rolly. “Hey there,” I say, and he smiles at me and then looks at Dylan.
“Did you grow?” He asks him the same question every Sunday. “You are almost going to pass me.”
“Father,” I say. “This is Justin, a friend of ours.”
“Father,” Justin says, extending his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure is mine,” he says. “Now go sit.”
“Do you need anything?”
“You did what you needed to do on Friday.” He smiles at me. “And it was perfect.”
“Thank you,” I say and turn to walk down the aisle to sit in one of the pews.
We sit in the middle of the church. I wait for Dylan to go in, and then Justin waits for me to sit, and then he takes the seat next to me at the end of the pew. The service is just under an hour, and when it’s done, we walk out of the church, and I walk to the car with my head high for once.
Justin must sense it because he puts Dylan in the car, and we take off. “Are we going to our house now?” Dylan asks, and I’m about to turn around when Justin speaks up.
“I was thinking we could go grab some pizza for lunch,” he suggests, and Dylan quickly changes his mind.
“Yeah, let’s do that,” he says. We drive back to Justin’s, then park the car and walk to the restaurant.
“Oh, can we take it home and watch another movie?” Dylan says, and I look at Justin.
“I like that plan a lot,” he says. “What do you say, sweetheart? Want to take it to go?”
“A movie and pizza,” I say to them both. “Yes, please.”
We order the food, and they tell us it’s going to be about thirty to forty-five minutes, and they will bring it over. We walk back to the apartment and make our way back to his place.
“Okay, it’s my turn to pick a movie,” Justin says when we walk into the apartment, and Dylan groans. “You chose two yesterday.”
“But one was Mom’s pick,” he says, going to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water as if he lived there.
Justin goes to the fridge, grabbing his own water, and then hands me one. “Thank you,” I mumble and try to ignore whatever is going on inside me. “I’m going to go change,” I tell them both and escape to the room, grabbing the clothes I had on yesterday and go to the bathroom.
I splash water on my face and look at myself in the mirror.
“You have to stop this. Nothing good is going to come from this,” I tell myself.
I slip out of the dress and look at myself in the basic white cotton bra that I’ve had for four years now, the cups are not even there anymore and the wires that went under the bra were tossed away somewhere a long time ago.
The white cotton panties that I have. The same four pair that I wash and rewash.
“Stupid,” I tell myself. “Stupid to believe this can go anywhere.”
Tomorrow, tomorrow I’m going to get my ass in gear and look for another place.
I slip on the shorts and shirt and walk out of the room and see Justin sitting on the bed. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I say, not making eye contact as I place my folded dress on the top of the dresser. “I’m just …”
“Look at me,” he says, and I do. “What’s going on?”
“It’s just …” I say. “Dylan is acting like he lives here. He is coming and going to the fridge.”
“Good,” Justin says. “I want him to be comfortable here.”
“But it’s temporary,” I say. “Eventually, we will have to get our new place.”
He’s about to say something when the doorbell rings, and Dylan comes into the room. “Pizza is here,” he says, and I watch Justin get up and walk out with him.
“Thank you so much.” I hear Justin say. “Just put everything over there.”
I walk over and see two men bringing in bags and then more bags and then more bags. “What’s going on?”
“It’s not pizza,” Dylan says from the fridge, eating another cheese stick.
“There are about fifty bags,” one of them jokes with Justin.
“Fifty in this trip. There are still a couple more downstairs,” the other one says.
“Take your time,” Justin says to the two men, and I sit on the stool watching.
“Justin, you bought so much stuff,” Dylan says, coming to sit on the stool next to me. “Is it your birthday?” he asks, and my head swings to Justin, and my heart sinks. What if today was his birthday, and I didn’t know?
“Not my birthday.” He smiles, and the men come in again.
“This is all of it,” he says and smiles at us and then walks out.
“What is it?” Dylan asks, and then Justin looks down at the floor and then looks up again. I can tell he’s nervous, and I have no idea why.
“So I know that you haven’t been able to get your stuff from your place.
And I know how cool your old stuff was,” he says, and I have a sinking feeling I know where this is going.
“And well, since I forgot to take you to pick up any things.” He looks at me, his eyes pleading with me.
“I called my sister, who is a professional shopper.”
“You bought us new things?” Dylan asks, getting up and checking in the bags.
“Just a couple of things,” he says, looking at Dylan and putting his hand on Dylan’s shoulder. “It’s just to hold you over until I can take you back to your house to get your things.”
“Cool,” he says, and then Justin looks at me.
“I got you a couple of things also,” he says, and I look from him to the bags and then back to him again.
“A couple?” I look at the bags.
“I mean, I told her to get you a couple of things.” He smiles. “This”—he points at everything—“is the exaggeration that is my family.”
“Oh, cool, look,” Dylan says and takes out a pair of new shoes.
“You can return some of it,” I say. “Or most of it.”
“What?” Dylan shrieks. “Why? Look at all these new clothes.”
He starts taking stuff out of the bags—shorts, shirts, bathing suit. “Can we go to the pool?”
“Yeah, after we eat, we can hit it up,” Justin says and walks over to me. “Please don’t be mad,” he says softly, and I look up at him. “I swear I told her to only get you a couple of things.”
“I’m even afraid to look in the bags,” I say the truth. “I don’t need all that.”
“I know,” he says and pushing my hair away from my face, his hands coming up to cup my face, and his thumb moves up and down. “You can keep whatever you want, and then if you want, you can donate the rest.”
“Donate?” I ask, shocked. “How about you return it?”
He scrunches his nose. “No,” he says. “Final sale.” He winks at me.
“Mom, open this one. It’s for you. It’s bras,” Dylan says, coming over with the light pink bag. “And underwear.”
He hands me the bag, and it’s a tad heavy for a bra, and I look in and see the pink tissue paper on the top, and inside, I spot maybe ten bras. “This whole bag is full.”
“I can help you decide which one to wear.” He winks at me. “Here, let me put this in my room.” He grabs the bag and walks away.
“You got a bathing suit, too,” Dylan says, coming to me and putting the thing in my hand.
“Dylan, don’t open all the bags,” I say, but he’s already elbow deep into another one when the doorbell rings.
Getting up, I walk to it and open it, spotting a woman standing there.
She is dressed in jeans and a top and stilettos.
Her blond hair is fixed perfectly, and her makeup is a tad too dark for morning.
Let’s not even discuss the heavy lip gloss.
I can probably see myself in the reflection.
“Oh, hi,” she says, “you must be the maid.” She smiles. “Is Justin home?”
“Um …” I start to talk, but Justin is behind me.
“Not the maid, Gloria,” he says, almost hissing. “What can I do for you?”
“We are just letting you know that we are going away, and that our daughter might be coming by.” She now ignores me. “She was hoping you could show her around.”
“Yeah,” Justin says, “not likely.” He puts his hand on my shoulder.
“You should let security know that you’re leaving,” he says.
The elevator pings, and the same security guy from before is coming up with the food.
“Just in time. Gloria is leaving, and she needs someone to show her daughter around.” He reaches out and grabs the food.
“Have a great night,” he says and closes the door in Gloria’s shocked face.
“Do I want to ask if you know her daughter?” I ask him, and then I want to kick myself for even asking.
“Never met her,” he says, “but if she is anything like her mother …” He shudders. “I’m not interested in the least.” He turns to walk into the house and calls Dylan.
“Well then,” I say and walk into the house with him, and I stop in my tracks. Not only does it look like a bomb exploded, but all the bags are empty. “What is all this?” I ask Dylan, and he points at the clothes.
“That’s all yours,” he says, pointing at mountain one. “Those are mine.” He points at mountain two. “Can I go eat?”
“Um …” I start to say.
“We are going to eat, and then you’re going to clean up that mess,” Justin says, getting plates out. “And you are going to fold all the clothes and put them away.”
“Put them away where?” Dylan asks, going to the stool.
“In your room,” he says, and my head snaps to him. I wait for Dylan to say something, but he just asks for pizza.
“After that, can we go to the pool?” Dylan asks, and Justin nods his head.
“Sweetheart, come and eat,” he says, and I look over at him. His eyes fly from the pizza to mine, and he smiles at me. At first, it starts off as a smirk and then his whole face lights up. I take it into my memory, and I know that I’ll remember this moment for years to come.