Fourteen
sadie
Ilay on Theo’s couch and stared at Ava’s texts until the words blurred. She’d secured a flight home in seven days—destination to be determined. Not as soon as I hoped, but still. She was coming home.
We’d been separated for so long, the idea of reuniting had started to feel impossible. Then my heart sank when I realised I might not be alive to see her.
I told her I loved her and left out the part about me being sick.
After warning Theo to stay away from his own home, I watched coverage of riots and protests around the world on his TV.
People were throwing objects through shop windows in London, running from supermarkets with full shopping trolleys in America. Businesses had pulled their roller shutters down, and in some countries, residents were patrolling their properties with firearms to keep looters away.
The images turned my stomach, and just I hoped Ava could get back before it became even worse.
With the blanket covering the lower part of my face, I lost myself in another bout of coughing, the sounds hacking from me again and again until I was on the verge of throwing up.
As soon as it was over, I examined the blanket and collapsed with a sigh. No blood. My internal organs weren’t giving up the fight yet, so there was that.
When a message alert sounded, I checked my phone and found a text from Theo.
On my way back up
I lurched upright, my head swimming with dizziness as I tapped out a response.
No! You can’t come in
Tough. I live there
I stared at the door as if he might come barging through any second. He had a sister, a niece. His dad. We weren’t on the same level. Theo had people to stay alive for, and I wouldn’t be responsible for his death.
I tried again.
Don’t come home
I’m begging you
Think of your family
I’d caught the virus outside, and I was standing more than a metre away from Brynn before I thought to pull up my mask. Theo’s chances of escaping it indoors with my germs hovering in the air would be even lower.
Minutes went by with no response, then I picked up on the distant thump of shoes on the stairs.
My stomach dropped.
And he’d called me stubborn?
I frantically considered my options, but even if I hurried to my apartment now before he got back, I’d still been here for hours, touching surfaces and coughing.
It was too late anyway.
The locked turned, and I froze. When the door opened, I fell back against the armrest, defeated.
“You’re going to die,” I said. “You’re already dead. We both are.”
Still wearing his mask, Theo dropped his keys in a dish on the console and grabbed the sanitiser, applying it liberally to his hands. “Well, at least we’re going down together.”
It had to be false bravado. We all knew the seriousness of Ultimus. There was no way anyone could be this cavalier with their health.
I searched what I could see of his face for clues, but he looked resolute, like a soldier performing his duty—and I wasn’t his to worry about.
“Why would you do this?” My voice cracked, and tears threatened to fall.
Strangely, his gaze swept over the ceiling and every corner of the room as he approached the couch.
“I’m not leaving you here to deal with this alone,” he said, staying an arm’s length back from my virus-riddled body.
The harsh scent of citrus lingered between us, and his gaze roamed over me, his eyes softening. “You look like shit, by the way.”
I shoved my hair out of my eyes. “Thanks for noticing.”
“You need some ibuprofen,” he said. “You should take off your jumper, too. Your fever’s going to get worse.”
He’d lost his mind. That was the only explanation. “You’re playing with your own life, and it’s like you don’t even care.”
“I’m here because I do care. Why are you acting like you’re not worth the risk?”
“Because I’m not—not this kind of risk. It’s a death sentence.
” I closed my eyes, wishing he’d leave, but I had a suspicion he’d already spent too much time with me.
If anyone in the building was going to end up sick right alongside me, it was Theo.
“Everything hurts,” I said. “My bones, my muscles. I’ve never had an illness kick in this quickly.
It’s even faster than they said, like it’s changing again.
” I peeked through half open lids. “You know what that probably means.”
“No one in this room’s dying. I’m not letting it happen.”
I sighed. Like he had a choice. “You can’t touch me—and you shouldn’t be near me.”
“I’ve already been near you.” He watched me carefully as if searching for signs to keep his hopes up. “And people are still surviving, even now.”
“Let’s be real. Last we heard, it was ten out of every hundred. It could be even less now.”
He didn’t want to acknowledge that little tidbit. “Any blood after you’ve coughed?”
“No.”
“How’s your breathing?”
We’d all been hounded by public service announcements for so long, the details were imprinted on our brains. Fever, shortness of breath—and I’d seen firsthand how it ended with Brynn and the blood. “It’s getting worse. My chest feels tight,” I said. “Are Tim and Varesh okay?”
Theo nodded, his eyes filled with concern. “So far, so good. We drove back with the windows down and the air-con blasting.”
Maybe Theo would be one of the immune we’d heard about when scientists first overwhelmed us with information. Even if I didn’t make it, I could die knowing he and Ava would be okay.
“I need to tell the others,” I said, “so they stay away.”
“It’s taken care of. Why don’t you concentrate on fighting the virus, and I’ll worry about the rest?
” Theo hesitated for a split second as if he had to rally for the next part, then he stepped closer and dragged the blanket down to my legs.
“Let’s get this off you.” He eased me into a sitting position and kept his movements impersonal, lifting my jumper gently over my head.
An hour ago, he’d cradled my face and touched my skin with his bare hands. Now, he had to psyche himself up to be near me.
“Thanks.” My long hair fell forward, and I turned my head away, pausing for another coughing fit before I fell back against the cushions.
Every move took effort, each breath forced through the pressure on my chest. Would I ever get to see another sunrise? My sister? My friends in the building?
Would the last time I spoke to them end up being the last time?
Overcome by the reality of what was happening to me, I let out a hoarse sob. “I don’t want to die.”
Theo extended his hand as if he wanted to touch my face, then thought better of it and pulled back. His gaze drilled into me as if he could cure me with a look alone. “I’ll be here with you,” he said, “no matter what happens. I’m not leaving you. Understand?”
I swiped away a stray tear with the back of my hand and nodded.
“Back in a minute.” Theo’s footsteps took him from one side of the apartment to the other, cupboard doors opening and shutting as he gathered supplies.
He returned with bottled water and a damp face washer, pain meds, and a bright red bucket for the nausea that was still to come.
“Take a couple of these,” he said, popping ibuprofen from the blister pack. He dropped them into my hand without touching me.
“What happened with Dustin?” I swallowed the pills and chugged water from the bottle he handed me.
“I don’t want you to worry about him right now. All you need to do is focus on is getting better.” Theo took the bottle from me, then urged me against the pillow and draped a damp facecloth over my forehead.
“You can’t tell me while I’m lying here? It’s not like I have anything better to do.”
“I’ll fill you in on every detail when you recover.” He thoroughly sanitised his hands again.
I’d be sick of the smell soon… if I survived. “I might not get better,” I said, “and we could both be lying here by the end of the day.”
The thought of him suffering the same fate as me intensified the weight on my chest.
“Not gonna happen.” Theo stared at me for a moment, appearing torn. I wished I had a preview of the thoughts going through his mind.
“What?” I asked. “What is it?”
He pulled in a long breath through his nose, then released it, waiting a few more seconds before he could say it out loud. “I need to call my family.”
My heart tripped, and I made a funny sound in my throat.
He’d sacrificed his last chance to be with them.
For me.
I nodded and blinked away another rush of tears as he left the room.