Twenty-Three
theo
“You need a shower,” Sadie said, shutting the door to my apartment.
I slid the hammer onto the hall table, catching sight of the blood on the end before I turned away. “I need a toothbrush more than a shower.”
An acidic aftertaste was still stuck in my mouth, but throwing up had probably been the best thing to happen to me. If I’d barely blinked after smashing someone’s skull, Sadie might not have wanted to be anywhere near me now.
“You can do both.” She cupped my elbow as if dealing with an invalid, bypassing the couch where my pillow and blanket were stacked neatly on the end.
“It’s my turn to take care of you this time,” she said, her breaths still heaving from her after climbing the stairs, “so grab a change of clothes, and we’ll get you cleaned up. ”
Laura, Tim, and I had hauled the bodies behind the bins, out of sight but not out of mind. Now, my hands were covered in blood and fluids, and my head was stuffed with images I didn’t want in there. “I’m too tired to argue with you.”
“Perfect.” She kept hold of me as we entered my room.
I admired her attempt to keep the mood light—but I’d just killed someone, even if they were technically already dead. The crunch of bone under metal would echo in my head for a while yet.
Sadie looked up at me, her optimism slipping when she clocked my expression. She stopped beside the bed and faced me. “Theo.”
“I’m all right.”
She stared at me for a beat longer, her gaze flicking over my features. “Interesting,” she said. “Even when you’re struggling, you can still find the energy to bullshit me.”
I shook my head with a faint smile. “Using my own words against me now?”
“Maybe.”
Before I could predict her next move, she slipped her arms around my waist, and her cheek met my chest like a kiss.
As I breathed in the smell of soap on her skin, something loosened inside me, and I pulled her even closer.
“I am all right,” I said, touching my lips to the top of her head. “You don’t need to worry about me.”
“All I do is worry about you,” she said, “and Ava—and Tim and Laura.”
I stroked the back of her head, then remembered the blood on my hands and stopped. “I’m adjusting. In a couple of days, it’ll be easier.”
“I can’t imagine what it’s like, but I guess I’ll find out for myself soon enough.” She slid her hands up and down my spine. “It’s crazy to think this is our life now,” she said. “That we have to deal with it forever.”
We didn’t know that part yet. Maybe the infected would drop dead for real after a few weeks or months of decomposing.
Or we might see another mutation, and the rules would change again.
“We’ll figure it out,” I said. “Learn how to use weapons and where to hit. Teach the girls and make it as safe as we can before anyone leaves.”
Thoughts of running drills and developing weapons skills rushed in, but I hugged her tighter and shut them down. There’d be time for tactical discussions later.
Tomorrow.
Sadie would be stronger. Ava might be back, and I could corner Dustin and pin him down on his next moves. Fucker was getting too comfortable around here again.
“I need to get in the shower,” I said.
She didn’t move at first, her arms locked around me. Her cheek rubbed my shirt, her body turning restless in subtle ways I might not have picked up on if I hadn’t been so tuned into her. A slight tremble. Quicker breaths that had nothing to do with the stairs anymore.
Out of nowhere, the atmosphere morphed into something heavier, charged with a different type of energy I knew all too well. My fingers tightened and released in her jumper at the back, every nerve ending firing.
“Do you want my help?” Her voice may have been little more than a whisper, but her meaning came across loud and clear.
A jolt moved through me, and images of steam and slippery bodies flooded my mind. “We’re due for a conversation first,” I said as an inner voice screamed at me to shut the hell up. “I don’t want to start anything with you until I know your plans.”
Sadie tilted her head back, her blue eyes locked on me. “You already started something,” she said. “You kissed me, remember?”
A prickle of awareness rushed over me, and my pulse thudded in my ears. “I remember, Sadie.”
She lifted her brows in a dare. “And?”
My gaze dropped to her lips. “I like your mouth,” I said, wishing my hands were clean enough to touch her face. “I want to kiss you again—properly next time.”
A surprised breath left her, and she took a minute to regain her composure. “But you’re not going to, are you?”
“Not before I—” The smell of rotting blood dominated the room, and until I’d cleaned up, I couldn’t give her my full attention. “Just give me ten minutes to shower and change. Then we’ll talk, I promise.”
Sadie lingered, her fingers clinging to my shirt, her cheeks flushed. If she tried anything now, I’d cave. No question.
A tense moment passed. My heart thudded erratically, and part of me wanted her to ignore what I’d just said and dive on me.
Then she blinked, and the mood lifted, leaving me reeling.
“Fine,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll wait for you.”
Do you want my help?
I dropped my head forward as hot water hammered my shoulders and slid down my spine. World’s biggest idiot, right here. Sadie could have been in the shower with me, taking my mind somewhere else, but all I had for company were the humming exhaust fan and my messed up thoughts.
I kept finding blood in new places. Under my fingernails. My left elbow. I picked a few spots off the back of my hand, each discovery a reminder of how much our lives had changed.
The pounding water drowned out some of the images and brought others to the forefront of my mind. I shampooed my hair and stared at the tiles, locking onto one memory that stood out above the others: the concern in Sadie’s eyes when she was watching me from the foyer.
“Theo!”
Her voice cut through the rush of water, more alarmed than frightened. Still, I banged my elbow against the tiles and swore. “What’s up?”
Next time she spoke, she was right outside the door. “Come see before it’s too late.”
Too late? Probably another development on the news, but how much worse could it possibly get? I groaned and ducked under the spray, rinsing my hair. “Be there in a minute.”
I shut off the water and stepped out into the silence, reaching for a towel and wrapping it around my waist. Clearing a spot on the mirror, I took in my reflection and almost recoiled.
Tired eyes, messy hair, and a jaw a few days past needing a shave. Months of lockdown had already taken their toll. Throw zombies into the mix, and I’d started resembling one of them.
I scrubbed my hands down my face and blew out a breath. “Get it together, dickhead.”
I rushed through the process of dressing, then brushed the harsh taste from my mouth. When I emerged from the bathroom in a tee and grey track pants, I felt more human than I had when I walked in there.
I found Sadie standing at the lounge room window with her back to me, her blonde hair darker than usual in the weak morning light.
She wore an oversized yellow jumper and black leggings, her arms wrapped around her torso.
With the news playing as background noise, I stood for a minute appreciating the view, knowing it could be my last chance before she shattered the peace.
Whatever had got her knocking on the bathroom door wasn’t on TV. The same footage looked to be playing on a loop now, as if they’d run out of reporters on the ground to record new content.
My pulse thumped faster as I crossed the room and stopped beside her. Her features were tight, her lower lip clamped between her teeth. Not a good sign. “What are we looking at?” I asked.
She nodded at the window. “That,” she said quietly, as if whatever was out there could hear her from four floors up.
My stomach tensed, and I followed her gaze through the glass.
It took me a minute to comprehend what I was seeing. Disorganised movement. Bodies staggering and shuffling.
Then my focus sharpened, and confusion turned to alarm.
At least a dozen zombies filled the street we’d cleared only an hour ago, their clothes ripped and stained with blood.
One had a broken arm. Another was shirtless, his gut shredded and intestines exposed to the air.
I swallowed and fought the urge to close my eyes.
A kid brought up the rear—a girl about the same age as Ruby.
The only thing keeping me from losing my shit was the lack of understanding in her eyes.
She wasn’t scared or lost. She had no idea what had happened to her.
My chest ached with the weight of it all. “The girl,” I said. “Look how young she is.”
I forced out thoughts of Ruby and Mia, of my dad and the farm.
Seeing the girl out there didn’t mean they’d met the same fate.
Dad had rifles. Plenty of ammo. He’d keep them safe, even at the expense of his own life.
I had to believe they were healthy and whole because the alternative would ruin me.
Sadie’s hand found mine, our fingers interlocking as they had on the rooftop days ago. “This is how it is now,” she said, her voice strangely calm. “Old and young—everything in between. We’re all at risk, and we’re never going back to the way it used to be.”
Not only did I agree with her, but it would get worse. Much worse.
A car alarm went off nearby, drawing the group’s attention. The frontrunners shifted direction, their movements slow and awkward as they progressed down the street.
“They’re passing by,” she said. “It’s all just mindless movement.”
“They’re attracted to noise.” I gave her hand a squeeze as I tracked the girl again, manually shutting down the part of me that wanted to run out there and save her.
“I picked up on it outside when the car came through. Even if their sights are set on someone, it changes the second any new activity takes their attention.”
“Do you think they can smell blood?” Sadie watched the macabre procession. “Or sweat? Can they pick up scents like other predators? That’s going to make things a lot more complicated.”
We still knew barely anything, and her questions needed answers soon. But not now. I faced her and brushed my thumb along her jaw. “I don’t know,” I said, “but we’ll work it out.”
She closed her eyes and took a breath before opening them again. “As long as we’re both in the same location, right?”
Her lips were so inviting. I knew exactly how they felt against mine, the way she turned soft as soon as I put my hands on her. It took everything in me to resist. “Right.”
“I think we should have this conversation on the rooftop with everyone else,” she said. “Find out who’s going where, so we can all decide together.”
“Fair enough.” At least we’d know what we were working with, and other people's decisions might determine hers.
Outside, the car alarm cut off mid-bleep, and the silence that settled over the street felt like the eye of a storm.
The part I couldn’t figure out was whether the storm was outside, or brewing right here between the two of us.