Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
GABE
Silence suffocates us as soon as we get in the truck. That dinner was something else. I’m trying not to judge, but fuck , Dana made that hard not to do.
I kept my mouth shut because I know Hallie wouldn’t have wanted me to start anything.
But there were a few times I almost snapped.
I know Hallie wants to get to know these people.
I just wish they wouldn’t treat her like shit.
As far as I’m concerned, them not standing up to Dana is just as bad as what Dana said and did.
Once I’m sure Hallie has her seatbelt on, I peel away from the curb. The sooner we get home, the better. Then I can try to undo whatever damage has been done tonight.
Except when I hear her sniffle a couple minutes later, I instantly pull over again. I can’t stand to have her burying her emotions.
“Foster, look at me.” She refuses, continuing to stare out the window. I hear another sniffle, and my heart cracks. “Hallie, please .”
Finally, she lifts her head. The streetlights shining through the windshield illuminate the tears lining her lashes. As far as I can tell, none have fallen yet, but they shouldn’t even be there in the first place.
My fists tighten in my lap. I want to reach for her, comfort her. Only, I’m not sure I’d be able to let go if I did.
“I’m okay, Gabe,” she says. Her smile is sad.
“I’m sorry things went the way they did,” I say. “But you handled that well. I’m proud of you.”
Her smile instantly drops. “You shouldn’t be. I’m a liar.”
Fuck it . I reach across the centre console, taking her hand in mine. She looks a little startled at the gesture—maybe because there’s no one to pretend in front of right now—but she doesn’t pull away.
“I’m proud of you for doing something outside your comfort zone. For being kind enough to give Kevin this second chance, despite how much his absence has hurt you.”
With her free hand, she covers her face, hiding herself. Always hiding from me. “This night was such a disaster . Dana clearly hates me. So I’m not sure it matters much if I’m willing to give this a shot.”
I could tell her to forget about them all. They don’t deserve to know her—not if they won’t cherish her. But if I did that, I’d be no better than everyone else in Hallie’s life who has ignored her needs.
“It does matter. Dana aside, Caitlyn and Bryan seem like they want to get to know you. Kevin clearly does. If this is what you want, keep going.” I stroke the back of her hand with my thumb. “Having siblings can be a pain in the ass, but you deserve to decide that for yourself.”
She lets out half a laugh at that, finally uncovering her face. “Your siblings are great.” She squeezes my hand, and I let go. “Thank you for coming with me. I’m not sure I would have made it through without you.”
“You would have, because you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. But I’m happy I could make things a little easier for you.”
She checks the time on the dash. “Let’s get back. There should be another ferry soon.”
Instead of driving away, I pull out my phone and make a quick search. Once I’ve found what I’m looking for, I put the truck in drive again and pull away from the curb. Hallie doesn’t seem to notice that I’m not heading in the direction of Tobermory.
When I pull into a parking spot, she looks to me in confusion. “What are we doing here?”
I unbuckle my seatbelt, then reach across to unclick hers. “We’re getting you food. I’m not letting you go to sleep hungry.”
She shakes her head. “It’s fine, Gabe. It’s getting late. I’ll make a peanut butter sandwich or something when we get back.”
I scoff, opening my door. “You’re not eating a peanut butter sandwich for dinner, and I’m not asking. Ass out of the truck, Foster.”
With an adorable little huff, she jumps down and follows me across the parking lot.
A bell above the door chimes as we enter the restaurant.
Though it isn’t as much of a restaurant as it is a small shack known for its burgers and fries.
According to their website, they have vegetarian and vegan options, too.
Hallie’s eyes scan the menu board hungrily, and I know I made the right call. My girl needs to eat. Something more substantial than a picked-over Caesar salad.
“Hey, what can I get for you?” the teen standing behind the register asks.
Hallie steps forward, telling him what she wants. He rings it up. Then before she can pull her wallet out, I slip a twenty into the guy’s hand.
“Gabe,” she hisses. “You need to stop doing that!”
I grin. “Never.”
Once he counts out my change, the employee directs us to sit at a table. There is only a few of them, so pickings are slim. I hold a hand out, letting Hallie lead the way. She shakes her head, a disapproving frown on her face.
“I’m going to pay you back,” she declares as I settle across from her. “For this and the funnel cake.”
“No, you’re not.”
“ Yes , I am.” She crosses her arms.
“Then I’ll just keep finding more things to buy for you.”
She throws her arms up. “ Why ? You already refuse to let me pay a fair amount of rent.”
I’d charge her nothing if I thought I could get away with it.
Leaning back in my seat, I let an amused smile settle on my lips. She’s cute when she tries to be angry. “Because I like to make you smile.”
Some of the fight leaves her then, and her eyes soften. “You’re sweet. Too sweet for your own good.”
“What kind of fiancé would I be if I wasn’t?”
She sighs at that, and I instantly wish I could take my words back. I’m trying to make her less sad, but that ring she’s wearing keeps drawing my attention. It’s not real, I know. But it damn well looks like it could be.
“The fake kind,” she replies. Then she twists the ring off her finger and deposits it in her pocket.
The employee appears at our table, setting a plate in front of Hallie. I’m not too keen on the idea of veggie burgers, but even I have to admit, it smells good. The sweet potato fries heaped beside it do, too.
Reaching out, I steal a fry off her plate and dip it in the cup of chipotle before popping it in my mouth.
She gasps. “Thief!”
I grin. “The fries are good.”
She glares at me, but it has no real heat. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t had the chance to taste them yet.” She picks up a fry and lets out a satisfied hum at the taste. “Are you just going to look at me while I eat?”
I shrug. “Maybe. It’s a damn good view.”
Her cheeks turn pink, and she ducks her head.
“So.” I lean on the table. “I never asked before, but…what made you come back home?”
Hallie looks down at the cup of sauce in her hand.
“I was nannying for a family in the city. I’d been with them for a couple years by then.
It wasn’t my dream job or anything, but it paid the bills.
” She shrugs, looking up at me. “Then one of the dads changed jobs a few months ago, and they decided they no longer needed a nanny. The kids are older now, so…”
My brows raise. “They fired you?”
She tips her head side to side. “Not in so many words. They gave me time to find something else, and they gave me a generous payout at the end. But once I stopped working for them, I realized I felt a little…lost. I had for a while. And when my job search in the city was proving fruitless, I decided maybe it was time to come back.”
“Do you regret it?”
I’m not sure why I ask. Maybe because I need to know she’s not entirely miserable, being here with me. Because I’m the furthest from miserable when I’m with her.
She shakes her head, a soft smile on her lips. “No, I don’t think I do.”
“Good.” Needing something to do with my hands, I grab the salt shaker and spin it between my fingers. “You said you were nannying. What happened to that teaching program?”
“I graduated, but finding a permanent job was hard. Lots of subbing. Then one day, I realized I actually kind of hated it.” She laughs, and I smile.
“It wasn’t the kids. As hard as they can be sometimes, I loved working with them.
It was more so the school environment I wasn’t a fan of. Nannying seemed like a logical step.”
“And did you like the nannying gig?”
“Much more than the teaching gig. I mean, I helped them with homework and stuff, so it was kinda like teaching. But being in a home setting was much more relaxed and comfortable for me. It made me more comfortable around kids in general.”
I keep spinning the salt shaker. “You’re great with Abbie. She loves you.”
I don’t miss the way her eyes light up at the mention of my daughter, and that sits on my chest, making it hard to breathe.
The few times I’ve thought about dating, settling down with someone, I knew she’d have to be the right kind of person.
The kind who adored my kid almost as much as I do. Hallie certainly does.
“I love her,” she says. “She’s so funny, and I love the way she sees the world. And she’s so caring. You and Larissa are great parents, Gabe. I’ve always thought you’d make a great dad.”
Emotions I can’t quite explain wash over me. A mix of pride and feeling validated, maybe. “Thank you. I figured I’d have a family one day. Didn’t exactly expect it to start the way it did, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
A comfortable silence settles between us as Hallie continues to eat.
It feels familiar, the way it used to be when we were teenagers.
We’re far from the people we were then, but I catch glimpses every so often that remind me of a time when it was just me and her, and an infinite amount of possibilities.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Hallie laughs as she swipes another fry through her chipotle. “What?”
I nudge her free hand. “Don’t think about it too hard. What do you want to be?”
Her lips purse. “Content,” she finally says. “I want to be content.”
“You deserve that.” And so much more.
“Your turn, then. What do you want to be?”
I remember back in high school, it felt like whatever path you set for yourself then was the one you’d be walking for the rest of your life. Like you had to have everything figured out at eighteen. But as I creep closer to thirty, I can confidentially say that’s bullshit.
“I don’t know yet,” I reply.
Hallie’s expression is warm. Gentle. “That used to scare you.”
Does she remember that night I called her at sixteen, worrying I wouldn’t amount to anything meaningful?
Because I do. I stayed on the phone until she fell asleep, talking about nothing of importance.
I knew she was scared of storms back then, but I hadn’t known the extent of her fears.
I don’t think she realizes how much she helped me that night, too.
“I’m learning to be okay with it.”
Hallie finishes her food just as the employees start mopping up, getting ready to close.
We clear off the table and head outside, where the air has grown noticeably colder.
Hallie laughs as she hurries to the passenger side of my truck, tugging on the handle while she shivers.
I unlock it, and she slips inside the cab.
When I’m seated beside her, she turns to me. “Thanks for feeding me. You’re…a really good friend, Gabe.”
Friend . There’s that fucking word again.
I swallow my distaste, but I tell her truthfully, “I’d do just about anything for you, Foster.”
And I would. More than I want her to be mine, I want Hallie to be happy. So if I have to pretend to be her fiancé or find a way to wrangle the stars into submission just so she can see them up close, I’ll do it with a smile.