Chapter 4 #2
She looked askance at him. “It is not my place to judge you. I know you have suffered the loss of your father and your brother three weeks ago. I cannot imagine the pain you must be feeling.”
He frowned and the light in his eyes vanished. “I had been absent from their lives for many years. As far as I was concerned, they died years ago.”
“Then we have at least that in common.”
His body uncoiled slightly at the words. His brow puzzled. “You mentioned you had no family.” He frowned. “And yet, you received a missive from them earlier today.”
She paled. “The missive was from friends who I consider family.”
It was a lie, and from the look on his face he knew it but asked instead, “Then what happened to your family?”
“They all perished in the plague of 1666.”
His frown deepened. “You were unaffected by the disease?”
“I developed spots, but for some reason, I was the only one to survive,” she said quietly. “Whether it was a blessing or a curse, I cannot say. It was a long time ago.”
His gaze fixed on hers. The compassion in his blue eyes startled her. “You’ve been alone all this time?”
“No,” she said, hardly daring to breathe as he took two steps toward her.
“I lived with a local family for a while after my parents died. The father was a painter and he taught me alongside his own children. When I was fifteen, he died, and I left their home so that I would no longer be a burden on the family.”
“How long ago was that?” he asked as he moved one hand up to cup her cheek. His fingers stroked her skin, then shifted to one tendril of her hair that refused to stay coiled with the rest.
“I’ve been on my own for five years.” She could feel his fingers twining in her hair.
He wasn’t looking at her, he was staring at his hand in her hair, as if he were committing the texture and feel of it to memory. Then, his gaze returned to her face so fast it actually made her gasp. “Then my solicitor shows up and offers you marriage to me?”
She shrugged. When he put it that way, what she had done sounded desperate and conniving.
“I grew weary of being alone.” It was partially the truth.
She had been alone for so long that she had never expected anything else.
Her thoughts about Kildare Manor suddenly came back to her.
She, Jules, and the house were all alone and a little desolate.
If only things were different. If they had met under different circumstances, perhaps . . . but that could never be. She came to Kildare Manor for one reason and one reason only—to save the girls.
Despite the reminder of her purpose, her heart hammered at his closeness. She could smell his warm, clean skin as he tugged her slightly closer with the end of her hair. There was no pain, only an incredible tension as she shifted forward.
He fixed his startling blue eyes on her. The raw hunger there made her cheeks warm, and a shiver slid down her spine. He leaned forward, his face just to the side of hers. His warm breath brushed her cheek in a seductive flutter.
Her breasts tightened.
Slowly, his fingers left her hair to tilt her chin up. His gaze held hers, enthralled, as he searched her face for something. “I’m telling you the truth,” she said, as though the words were the answer to any question he might ask.
A half smile hovered on his lips as he brought them down to hers.
Claire moaned at the contact. This kiss was different than the last one. This one was gentle. Tender.
And it made her long for more of the same.
He left her lips to trail a blazing path down her jaw to her neck. “You are so very tempting,” he whispered, as he traced the curve of her ear with his tongue. “But you are better off without me.”
He pulled back and stepped away. That was when she saw Jane and Nicholas in the distance behind him.
Had he known they were there? Was that the only reason he had kissed her? Her body on fire, she watched as he left her alone once more.
Her heart lurched. She was a fool to think someone with his place in society could ever care about a common woman with no family like her.
She stared after Jules as she pushed a nonexistent lock of hair from her forehead. She tried to keep breathing as he walked away. He was all that stood between her and total devastation.
She would not fail.
Jules joined Nicholas and Jane as he fought the raging need inside him.
It was raw and vicious and made him ache for all he had experienced in that one sweet kiss, but knew he could never really have, because the woman was a fraud, and he had already given the tattered remains of his heart away. That was exactly as it had to remain.
“Is Claire coming?” Nicholas asked, his gaze shifting between Jules and Claire.
She remained exactly where he had left her, a look of indecision on her face as to whether she would rather approach him, or turn back toward the snake. She was better off with the snake.
Jules had to put her out of his thoughts. “Claire will join us when she is ready.”
“Perhaps I should go talk with her,” Jane said.
Jules stalled her with a hand on her arm. “Leave her be.”
Jane frowned, but did as he asked.
“We’ve found some cards and thought you might like to join us in a game of faro.”
“What are the stakes?” Jules asked distractedly.
“We found some seeds to use as checks. No one need lose any money over the game.” Jane paled as though she suddenly realized the cut of her words. “Oh, Jules, I did not mean—”
“Sounds well enough. Let us have at it,” he interrupted, not wanting to hear her apology. He knew he had no funds. Obviously they all knew he had no funds. Why pretend otherwise?
Cards. It was the distraction he needed. As Nicholas and Jane turned back toward the manor, Jules allowed himself one last look at Claire. Their gazes met. He thought he saw a tear on her cheek, but he couldn’t be certain because she turned and headed back toward the loch.
He frowned. Why was she crying? Surely not for him.
He watched until the sight of her bright copper head disappeared from view, and once again the loneliness of his life settled about him. The thought that he had contributed to her sadness twisted his insides into a tight, throbbing knot. He spun away and strode back to the house.
He had a wife.
He wanted to ignore her. He wanted to make her go away. But whether she stayed or left, he suddenly realized, nothing would be the same ever again.
Nothing.