Chapter Five
CHAPTER FIVE
MR. FITZWILLIAM DARCY knew he had made a mess of things with Richard.
He had done it all wrong.
He was always doing things wrong when it came to people. He liked people, but he wasn’t good with people.
That night, he went to the Matlock house for dinner, and he said very little, but then, he was not known for his conversation skills. Mostly, Lady Matlock prattled on and on. She spoke at length about the colors of dresses that were fashionable that year, how it was that she thought all the girls looked washed out in all the very light and white colors, and how it was that she would like to see more boldness returning to the ballrooms in London when the Season was underway yet again in the spring.
Darcy nodded and made affirmative noises in the appropriate places.
Every once in a while, Lady Matlock paused long enough to take a bite of food and she would look at him expectantly during these pauses.
He would say things like, “Yes, I think Elizabeth has a number of dresses in those colors” or “I do like a bit of variety myself when it comes to color.”
Richard said absolutely nothing.
He just gaped at Darcy throughout the entire meal. He sat opposite him, next to his mother, and he would not stop staring at him.
Darcy wondered if he was badly interpreting the look in his cousin’s eyes, but he thought that Richard was looking at him rather, well, hungrily.
It was making Darcy’s clothes feel tight.
He wasn’t entirely certain when his fascination with Richard had begun. Probably when they were young, though. Darcy was the oldest in his family, and the only child at all until Georgiana was born, when he was twelve. So, Richard was one of the few children that Darcy had as a playmate as a boy. Richard was older than him, fearless, always standing up to his elder brother Simon, and Darcy sort of hero-worshiped him as a boy.
He wasn’t sure when it had gone… whatever way it had gone.
He had been ashamed of it, tried to push it away, tried to ignore it. It was unnatural, really, to think of another man like that.
But the problem with all of Darcy’s desires is that they were all unnatural.
Also, no matter how hard he attempted to ignore them, they never went away.
He’d only felt some relief when he and Elizabeth married and began to explore their arousal together. But this desire hadn’t been something that he could explore with her, because it wasn’t about her.
It was just about… Richard.
Richard was so opposite to Darcy, that was the thing. He was fairer than Darcy, his hair a light sandy-colored brown, and he had a few freckles on his nose, which was a bit crooked. It had always been that way, even when Richard was young. When he smiled, his face was a bit lopsided, one side coming up higher than the other. This led people to think that Richard wasn’t handsome, but Darcy had always thought Richard’s looks were a bit rakish and mischievous. Richard, no matter what, always appeared as if he were having more fun than everyone else.
Richard seemed to wear his pleasure on his sleeve, on his slightly lopsided face, always smiling, always laughing, always shutting his eyes to savor the taste of his wine or his food, always expansive and welcoming, always… Richard.
Darcy used to lay in his bed at night, picturing Richard looking satisfied and happy, and stroke his own prick.
He would try not to do that, of course.
He would think of everything except that.
And when he did it, when he stroked himself off to the thought of Richard Fitzwilliam, he had strict rules about it. Richard must be clothed. He must never think of touching Richard or Richard touching him. It was just the sheer sensuality of picturing Richard happy.
Shamefully, it gave him such a cockstand.
The idea of Richard enjoying Elizabeth, the idea of being able to give the other man Darcy’s own wife—
Don’t think of this, you are going to burst at the dinner table, he urged himself.
He had a cockstand now, in fact.
After dinner, Darcy thought to excuse himself early and began to speak to Lady Matlock in that vein, saying that he had an early morning on the morrow and he was grateful for her hospitality and the lovely dinner, but that he must sadly make his way home and be denied her further company.
Richard interrupted. “I have something I wish to show you, Will.”
Darcy looked up at him. “Oh?”
Richard was giving him that hungry look. Darcy had never seen that look on Richard’s face. He had never seen Richard in such a state of longing. Richard was usually so easily satisfied.
Yes, but is that true? Haven’t you known for some time now he has pined for your Elizabeth?
Darcy had liked it. Liked the idea of having something Richard wanted. Not in a cruel way, not exactly, just… it was a connection between them. Darcy liked being connected to the other man.
“Upstairs,” said Richard. “It should not take too long, I don’t believe. You may go on your way after.”
Richard’s mother raised her eyebrows at her son. “Can’t this wait, if Mr. Darcy is attempting to go home in such a rush?”
“I don’t mind,” Darcy found himself saying.
“Just quickly then,” said Richard. “With me?”
“All right,” said Darcy.
Lady Matlock smiled at him. “We shall see you tomorrow for dinner, shall we not?”
“Indeed,” he said to her. “I am quite grateful for the invitation.”
“Well, then I shall see you then,” she said. “Do sleep well, and I shall retire, I believe. Let us say our goodbyes now?”
“Of course,” he said.
After his aunt excused herself, Darcy followed Richard up the stairs and soon found himself in Richard’s bedchamber.
Richard shut the door and went over to light an oil lamp. He spent some time adjusting the wick to get the flame at the level he liked, and he didn’t look at Darcy as he did this. But he spoke. “How will it work?”
“How will what work?” said Darcy, eyeing the other man.
Richard stopped adjusting the wick. He straightened and then he turned to Darcy, his gaze still that hungry gaze. “You said there would be a line if we agreed to do this.”
“Oh, yes,” said Darcy.
Richard let out a shaky breath and then he began to undo the falls of his trousers. “So, where would the line be?”
Darcy’s gaze fell to the colonel’s crotch, where he was straining against his clothing. “I can’t have you thinking she’s going to run off with you, I suppose. I won’t lose her.”
“I don’t wish to steal your wife, Darcy,” said Richard, and now he was free, his trousers loose. He tugged his shirt out of the way.
Darcy could only stare at Richard’s prick, pressing against the thin fabric of his smallclothes.
“She is in love with you, anyway,” said Richard in a rough voice. “All I meant to do with her was to provide seed.”
“All you meant,” echoed Darcy, coming closer.
Richard tugged his smalls out of the way, showing Darcy his prick.
Darcy kept moving closer, gazing at the colonel’s swollen skin, the way the head of his prick was huge and smooth and pinkish purple, the small slit there, the hint of weeping liquid. “That isn’t all you meant to do at all. You’ve wanted her a long time, likely since Rosings.”
“I knew you were angry. What man wouldn’t be angry?”
“I’m not angry,” said Darcy. “I want…” He swiped his tongue over his lower lip.
“Please,” said the colonel in a scratchy voice.
Darcy glanced up at the other man’s face, which was still hungry.
“And I wish to see yours,” said the colonel, all in a rush, as if he were quite embarrassed to admit it.
“Oh,” said Darcy, giving him a little smile. “Do you truly?”
“Very much,” said the colonel, his voice tight.
Darcy closed the distance between them. He put his hand on the colonel’s chest. Richard was a little bit taller than him, only an inch or so, but he had to look up into the other man’s eyes from this angle, and the sensation of that was interesting and rather pleasant. He thought about Richard bending down and putting his mouth on Darcy’s.
The thought of that made him a bit lightheaded.
The colonel threaded a hand up, curving his palm around Darcy’s jaw. “Take your cock out, Will, and show it to me.”
Darcy nodded. He freed himself with one hand, keeping the other hand on the colonel’s chest, which he was barely caressing. But then he had to step back to show himself to the other man, and that meant they both lowered their hands.
The colonel eyed him, his hungry expression veering into his expression of satisfaction, which made Darcy’s bollocks tighten. Then the colonel swallowed and passed a hand over his face. “Kneel,” he said, his voice strangled.
Darcy did.
Eye-level with the colonel’s hard prick, he sucked in a noisy breath.
“You said that you wanted to taste…”
“Yes,” said Darcy in a guttural voice. He could hardly believe this was happening. From the first time he’d known that such a thing was possible, he’d wanted to do it to Richard. He’d never allowed himself to really fantasize about such a thing, though. Now, here it was, just offered to him, there for the taking.
“God knows, I can’t say what it is about me that wants this, Will,” said the colonel in a soft and subdued voice, “but ever since you’ve said that, all I can think about is the way your lips will look around the base of me. Your facial hair, it’s so dark that even after you’ve been shaved, I can see little points of it, and that’s what I want, heaven help me, the look of a man’s mouth on my prick.”
Darcy smiled. “Well, I’ve wanted to suck your prick for forever.”
“I think I wanted this for forever, too. I think I was afraid to ever admit—”
Darcy took the colonel’s cock in his mouth and the other man’s voice died out. Darcy lost no time in taking him deep, right down his throat, gagging himself in his eagerness to taste Richard. But when his gag produced such a gasp in Richard, Darcy couldn’t help but do it again and again.
“Lord, Will,” Richard managed, “I won’t last. That’s too good.”
Darcy’s mouth was full, but he wanted to tell Richard to give it to him, fill his mouth with his salty, sticky spend. He dragged his tongue over the underside of Richard’s cock.
Richard climaxed with a shout.
Darcy was overcome with the sensation of it. He loved the way it felt when Elizabeth came on his tongue, but he liked this in a different way. He felt claimed and marked by it, somehow. He liked swallowing the colonel’s spend, taking a part of the other man into his body. It was dizzyingly good.
Richard’s hand was on Darcy’s jaw again. “Look at me, Will,” he rasped.
Darcy looked up at him.
“That was…”
Darcy gave him a gentle suck.
Richard grunted. “God, it’s too sensitive,” he moaned. “Up. On your feet. Now.”
Darcy obeyed, liking the sensation of being ordered around. When he was with his Lizzy, he often took charge, and they both liked that, but he was finding this rather nice as well.
Richard still had his hand on his face, as Darcy scrambled up to face the other man. Richard caressed Darcy’s jaw. He looked down between Darcy’s legs. “How’s that prick of yours, Will? Looks ready to explode.”
Darcy nodded. “Y-yes.”
“Would you like me to return the favor?”
“You don’t have to…” Darcy shut his eyes. “Will you?”
Richard’s hand traced a slow path down from Darcy’s jaw to his chest, to his stomach, and then down to gently cup his bollocks. Then he backed up and sat down on his bed. He beckoned.
Darcy moved forward, following his hard cock, which was pointing at Richard like an arrow.
Richard seized him, both hands on the globes of Darcy’s arse, which made him gasp, and then Richard swallowed down his cock into the hot, wet cavern of his mouth.
Darcy let out a keening noise. He was going to spend immediately, and he couldn’t stop himself. “You… if you don’t wish it in your mouth, perhaps you should…” He panted.
Richard’s head bobbed on him.
Darcy crested in a wave of hot pleasure, pulsing into the colonel’s mouth.
The colonel swallowed him down and then pulled away.
Darcy reached down and swiped a thumb over the other man’s lower lip, unable to stop himself.
Richard shut his eyes, his expression going deeply satisfied, and it was everything Darcy had ever wanted, and he didn’t know how to even feel.
Except… he wished to tell Lizzy about it. He wished to bring Lizzy into this. How he had been so lucky to have a woman who had never judged him for what he was, he could not say, but he had been. Sharing his luck with Richard seemed the most natural thing to him just then.
Richard’s eyes opened. He looked up at him, that satisfied expression on his face. “How did I taste?”
“Like everything good in the world,” said Darcy.
Richard chuckled. “You tasted like spend.”
Darcy laughed, looking away.
“Which I liked more than I thought I would actually,” Richard said in a low and wondering voice. “Anyway, I…” He shrugged. “Now that we’ve done that, we’re committed. It’s one thing to tup another man’s wife. It’s not a hanging offense.”
“I think we’ve have to bugger each other if we were to be hung,” said Darcy.
“Right,” said Richard.
“I’m not asking you to—”
“Neither am I,” said Richard.
It was quiet.
Darcy had to admit, though, he would like to bend over for the colonel’s cock. He hadn’t ever let himself think of such things before, but the idea excited him. He cleared his throat. “The purpose of all this, though, is, erm, for Lizzy.”
“Right, to breed her,” said Richard.
Breed her, thought Darcy, wondering why that phrasing affected him in the way it did. “Yes, exactly.”
“It’s not really about… you and me,” said Richard. “And I do, obviously, want her.”
“I know you do.”
“I didn’t tup her because of you,” said Richard.
“All right,” said Darcy.
“Did you… with the women I was with because of me?”
“Yes,” said Darcy. “Obviously.”
Richard’s jaw worked. “Look, whatever this is with us, Darcy, I wanted her before I knew you wanted her.”
Darcy blinked at Richard, realizing that his fascination with the colonel was not exactly one-sided. Richard had some fascination in return. So, that was interesting. “Well, I have to admit, this isn’t how I thought things would go.”
“What do you mean?”
Darcy shook himself. Did it matter? Richard was being defensive about it. That talk of hanging… yes, it was best if they tried not to descend into utter debauchery.
Actually, they already had. It was too late.
“I had thought you would not wish me to watch,” said Darcy. “I had thought you would push back against such an idea, and that I would have to cajole you or back off on the idea altogether. I had an idea that you would likely not allow me to touch you while you were with her, but I had hoped you would allow me to be in the room and to observe you having her, at the very least. So, I thought we’d go back and forth on that point. I never thought you would…”
The colonel’s nostrils flared. “Maybe there’s something simply permissive about you, Will. It feels easy to give in when you are…”
“I think people feel the opposite of that when they’re around me.”
“Right, which is why… if you’re giving in to such things, then, perhaps anyone could, perhaps propriety can go drown itself, perhaps…” The colonel sucked in a breath. “I should like to see your bare chest at some point.”
Darcy raised his eyebrows, very pleased by this. “Well, that’s gratifying.”
“Will, don’t gloat. I can’t bear it.”
“Apologies.” Darcy busied himself putting his clothes back in order. “All right, well, seeing as we are in enthusiastic agreement, here is what I think. I think we had best not do this at any of the houses I own. I think it best to let another house, someplace far off, perhaps in the north, and to hire a bare-bones staff, who will be told false names about us?”
“That’s quite a bit of trouble,” said the colonel. “But likely necessary.”
“I think so,” said Darcy. “And we shall need stories about where we are, and they must be different stories.”
The colonel nodded. “Wouldn’t do to have gossip start, especially not about an innocent child.”
“Yes, a child. I wonder if it may be difficult for you,” said Darcy.
“Mightn’t it be difficult for you?” said Richard. “Seeing her increasing and knowing you haven’t put it there?”
“Well, if it’s both of us spending in her, I suppose we shall never know for certain,” said Darcy. “But you’re right, if I could have gotten her with child, I should have done so already, so…” He shrugged. “But I don’t think I shall mind if it’s you.”
“I’m a bit…” Richard squared his shoulders. “No, it’s for Lizzy. She wants to be a mother. I want to make her a mother, for her. If I am so all-fired to be a father, I shall simply have to get married.”
Darcy felt a strange pang when the colonel said that, and he didn’t know why. It was nonsensical. Why should he begrudge Richard a marriage? “Yes, of course,” he said. “I wish you every happiness, Richard.”
Richard grimaced, though, as if he didn’t like hearing that.
“Yes, there will be aspects of this that may be difficult,” said Darcy. “So, if you wish to back out of it—”
“I do not,” said Richard. “Will we try again, if she is not with child?”
“Well, I don’t know about that,” said Darcy. “I think… how long does it usually take when a couple is first married to make a child, do you think? Likely no longer than four or five months?”
“You want us to hole up in Scotland under assumed names with a very small staff for four or five months, don’t you?” said Richard, but he sounded breathless and anticipatory. “Well, I’m in.”
“Are you truly?”
“I can get a long leave,” said Richard. “I’m due for a holiday. This sounds… quite relaxing.”
Darcy laughed. “Oh, yes, should be ever so relaxing.”
They grinned at each other like schoolboys who’d gotten away with breaking the rules.
“Lizzy will be very pleased,” said Darcy.
Richard’s smile widened. “I do wish to please her.”
“She expressed some curiosity about watching two men together,” said Darcy. “I told her not to get her hopes up, though, so she’ll be very happy.”
“Well, then,” said Richard, sounding rather happy himself.