Chapter 18
Simon
I pace. The darkness is thick outside the kitchen window, and there isn't a single light on in Boris' house.
It's been two days, but he isn't back yet.
They said a couple of days, and I've waited the entire day.
I've kept watch out the window. I was sure he'd be back by the time I got Ira from school, but no.
What if something's happened to them? How dangerous are wolves? I don't know where they are. Why didn't I ask where they were going?
I curl my fingers around my phone. I've been about to text him several times but refrained.
Now, though...What if something happened?
Maybe he's on his way back and is tired.
I could ask if he wants something to eat.
We've already eaten, and Ira is in bed, but I can reheat some leftovers. Except I don't have any leftovers.
We ate the venison, then I froze what was left of it. It's enough for another meal, and I figured it would be good to have toward the end of the month when I know I won't have any money.
I could scramble some eggs.
I type a quick message.
Simon: Where are you?
Then I realize it might come across as rude and frantically try to come up with something else to write.
Simon: Are you on your way home?
Several minutes go by without any answer, and my fingers itch to write something else. Or should I call? What if he can't text back because he's in a ditch somewhere? It's below freezing outside. The roads might be slippery. What if he's frozen to death? Who goes camping in November?
Insanity.
Right as I'm contemplating calling in a search party, my phone buzzes in my hand.
Boris: Hi, honey. How are you doing?
I stare at the words. How am I doing! How am I doing?
Simon: Where are you?
The dots are dancing at the bottom of the screen, and I hold my breath while waiting.
Boris: By the north-east border of the Rutchester Nature Preserve.
The air leaves my lungs.
Simon: Are you on your way home?
The phone rings in my hand, and I hurry to accept the call. "Boris?" I wince at how breathy I sound.
"Hi." His voice is warm, and it sends a tingle through me.
"I was about to call in a search party only to realize I had no idea where you were."
He chuckles, and it makes my knees go weak, so I pull out a chair and slump down by the kitchen table.
"Zahrah wants to snap a few photos of the lake at dawn tomorrow. It's gonna be a cold night, and she wants to capture the frosty reeds at the edge of the water."
So he wasn't on his way back. "No wolves?"
"Oh, yeah, there's been some photos of wolves."
The air freezes in my lungs. "In Rutchester? Shouldn't you report there being wolves to someone? It's not safe to have people hiking there if there are wolves. Maybe some agency can have them moved, so they don't have to die."
Silence.
"Boris?"
"Yeah, I'm here. You want to kill the wolves?" His voice is toneless.
"No! I said to move them, so they don't have to be killed."
"But this is their home. They've lived here for generations."
I frown. I've read everything there is to read about the Rutchester Nature Preserve, both before Ira and I went there and after, since I wanted to make sure I hadn't missed the mention of wolves somewhere.
"There aren't supposed to be wolves in Rutchester."
"There's always been wolves in Rutchester, and there will always be wolves in Rutchester. It's our home."
Our? Does he mean his and Zahrah's home? I can't name the emotion filling my chest. "I've read a lot about the nature preserve, and there isn't supposed to be any wolf pack there. It's dangerous to have wolves so close to civilization. What if a child wanders off on their own? Gets lost, and--"
"No wolf would ever harm a child."
Why does he sound so defensive? "I only meant..." Fuck, I meant what I said. "It's dangerous."
"No, it's not."
"Boris, you can't trust a wild animal. They're not pets!"
He snorts, and I don't know why it pisses me off.
Doesn't he realize he could be in danger?
"I can't believe you're willingly putting yourself in danger.
You're not some reckless teen. Don't you have any consideration for the people around you?
What am I supposed to tell Ira if you're killed?
" Panic claws at me. I can't let Ira get attached if he's gonna be this careless with his life.
I don't think he'll survive losing another person.
"Simon." His voice is deep and calm, but it doesn't help. I'm falling headfirst into an abyss of despair. What if he's killed? What if I have to go to his funeral? What if I have to explain to Ira that he was eaten by wolves?
"No, I can't. I can't let someone reckless into our lives."
A whine and it doesn't sound human.
"I have to think about Ira's well-being."
"Simon."
"I'm sorry, Boris. I have to protect us. I'm...eh..." Fuck, I'm overreacting. I know I'm overreacting, but I can't stop myself. I have to do what I can to spare us the pain of an eventual loss.
"Babe?"
"Be careful." Then I hang up.
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