Chapter 6
Chapter Six
“No, that’s exactly—” He stopped and glanced over. “Oh, very funny.” He tapped his fingers on the wheel for a while then added more thoughtfully, “But don’t you think it’s weird? I mean, I can read, so why can’t I follow a simple instruction and get it right?”
“I’ve no idea. I had no problem with my flowers. I’m almost a black belt in flower arranging.”
Ben had radar for Nikolas-bullshit and clearly recognised the tone.
Nikolas knew Ben never listened beyond the first words of any such pronouncements and, true to form, Ben ignored him now and carried on with his own train of thought.
“I’m going to master it. I’ve decided. We’ve got that bloody great big kitchen in Devon, and we’ve never even taken a pan down off the rack. ”
Nikolas thought of his gleaming chrome kitchen in the glass house and then of the kitchen last night (and this morning, as he’d left Radulf and the kitchen to Kate to sort—sometimes his punishments for insubordination were masterful) and had a vision of things to come.
He thought back to the perfect calm of Philipa’s house.
The meals produced by unseen hands and offered on the finest china; of intelligent conversation; his library; his unrestrained enjoyment of whiskey and wine.
He turned his head and considered Ben. He tugged the studded earlobe.
He had Ben Rider-Mikkelsen. What else could he possibly need?
“Good idea. You know how I always advocate a healthy diet. I would very much like to see you producing one for me.”
Ben sent him an eye flick of derision but apparently went back to his elaborate plans to become a master chef.
After a few more miles, Nikolas sighed. “We need to discuss our strategy.”
“Strategy?”
“Hmm. We are there to discover why some of the participants remain for a further three weeks, no? So, we need to make sure we survive the first week by sticking to our cover stories. I don’t believe this course will be what either of us has experienced before during covert operations.”
“Why?”
Nikolas was pained to admit, “Well, for one thing, this strikes close to home for you, no? I don’t think you’ll be able to separate the role you’re playing with your own circumstances.”
“Me? I won’t be able to? What about you?”
“Ack. I’m thinking of you, Ben. You’ll see everything as relating to you personally. Which won’t be the case.”
Ben thought about this for a while. “What you mean is you’re going to find this difficult and you’re going to take it out on me.”
“There. See? That’s exactly what I mean. You’ll not be able to separate our roles from our real life and will misinterpret everything I say to suit your own agenda—the one where you’re badly treated and some kind of mistrodden underdog.”
“That’s not a real word.”
“Of course it is. Who actually had to learn his English, Benjamin? Not you. So, as I was saying, you’ll take what I claim in my role as Nigel to be me saying it. As me. And you won’t like it. Do you see what I’m saying?”
“No!”
Nikolas sighed. “Pull over at the next service station. Please, obviously—God forbid I should forget to say please these days.”
Ben pulled over as requested and parked. He turned with a questioning frown to Nikolas.
Nikolas stared ahead then began in something of a rush, “We are playing men who are in relationship crisis. Nigel is resentful of Justin. He wants…things Justin isn’t prepared to give him.
He wants to adopt children, which implies Justin isn’t enough for him, no?
That some completeness in his life is missing?
” He twisted around to face Ben and put a hand on his thigh.
This was so unexpected and so uncharacteristic Ben automatically covered the hand with his, as if some kind of bad news was about to be presented that needed that level of physical support.
Nikolas studied their joined hands. “I need you to know, that’s all. ”
Ben waited. When nothing more was forthcoming, he frowned. “And? What?”
Nikolas grimaced. “Do I need to say it?”
“Yes?”
He looked up at the unfamiliar blue eyes.
“It’s not me! Saying these things. Damn.
” He stared out of his side window then back at Ben.
“I don’t want anything between us different to how it is now!
You are absolutely perfect just as you are, and whatever you hear me say won’t be the truth about us!
Jesus, Benjamin, do I really need to say this?
” He suddenly rummaged in his pocket. “By the way, I’ve bought you this. ”
Apparently distracted by the wholly uncharacteristic declaration, Ben could only point out, “I have a watch. You bought me this one, too.”
Nikolas nodded, undoing Ben’s expensive, beautiful watch, keeping him distracted.
“I know, and this is only a cheap one, but it’s more in keeping with Justin, no?
” He fastened the new one on. It was very big and chunky.
Ben shrugged, but Nikolas could see he was pleased with it. Ben liked anything he bought him.
Good.
He’d wear it then.
Perfection had to be protected.
* * *