Chapter Twenty #3
Nikolas traced a pattern on the table for a moment. He missed Ben being there and reading his mind, Ben saying immediately,
“No, Nik, we’re not killing her.”
Did not having Ben there to say this mean he could do it and get away with it? Did he really want to kill Kate? He had a while ago. Would have if something hadn’t come up to distract him. Literally.
He picked up his stuck-together phone and contemplated it for a moment.
* * *
Kate had excellent security at her apartment so Nikolas was very well aware she knew who it was at the door.
He also understood he was, consequently, on CCTV.
But it was still a huge risk for her letting him in.
But then she couldn’t run anywhere he wouldn’t find her.
She opened the door, as he’d known she would, and stood back, allowing him to precede her to the main room.
“Do you want a drink?”
Nikolas nodded, staring out at the impressive view. “Nice apartment.”
“Thank you. My boss pays me well.”
“Perhaps he values you. Your loyalty.”
“Perhaps he values his privacy, keeping his secrets.”
Nikolas nodded. “Perhaps. There’s another alternative, however. He may value your friendship.”
“He’s a very difficult man to befriend.”
“Yes, I can imagine he would be. A dangerous man to cross as well.”
“Yes.” She handed him his drink and stood alongside him. “What are you thinking?”
“That I could snap you in half without breaking into a sweat. You’re so incredibly frail compared to me.
” She quivered as if with an unconscious urge to flee, but he laid a hand gently on her arm.
“And I then thought about your camera security system. Lastly, it occurred to me that should such snapping occur, I would then not have you to take care of it for me—as you’ve taken care of me for so many years. ”
“I betrayed you.”
“You admit it so readily?”
“Only weak people make excuses for the bad things they do.”
He nodded, this thought interesting him. He drank the whisky in one long swallow and handed her the empty glass.
“I have a job for you. Some research.”
Her brows rose in surprise before she could calm her expression.
“I want you to read about a man called Sergei Dubov and his son. Consider carefully if you want to return to work for me and what another betrayal might mean for you. If you’re happy with those terms, then I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She followed him out with her eyes; he could feel them upon his back, then sensed observation from the security system as he left. Then, he had no doubt, she went to her computer to comply with his request.
* * *
Kate ran her finger around the edge of the tumbler Nikolas had drunk from, making the exquisite cut-glass screech as if in pain.
Nikolas had given it to her—one flawless glass, and a story of its provenance that had made her eyes run with tears of laughter. She wondered if he remembered. Of course he did. He remembered everything.
Reprieve.
She had not expected this.
She had woken alone in a bed in the glass house, and the enormity of what she had done had made her flee like a thief in the night.
Not what she had done to Ben. What she had done to this man, the one who turned up unexpectedly with gifts—a Birkin bag worth more than her first flat; perfume housed in a bottle so astonishing she’d had it photographed, the picture now hanging as an artwork in her bedroom; a crystal tumbler he’d persuaded a queen was a fake so he could steal it and give it to her—the man she’d now betrayed.
Kate considered the information she’d gleaned from the computer.
What it might mean to her.
Reprieve was not forgiveness. Not at all. But somehow it felt like it. In this, Nikolas had surprised her. Given her a glimpse perhaps of the man Ben Rider knew. Loved.
Upon reflection, she decided she’d have preferred Nikolas Mikkelsen’s fury.
She didn’t know what to do with his forgiveness. His kindness.
Her guilt.
* * *
When Nikolas returned to the house, the others had left, and Ben was in the kitchen with Radulf.
They were both examining the contents of the fridge hopefully.
It was such a familiar scene Nikolas forgot for a moment.
He went up behind Ben, slid his arms around him and kissed under his ear. “Did you enjoy your lunch?”
Ben shied away with an embarrassed laugh, rubbing the side of his neck.
He recovered quickly and began to chat about Tim and ask questions about the meeting, but Nikolas felt a sense of bleakness in his heart he couldn’t dispel.
Despite what they’d done with their bodies over the last few days, Ben was uncomfortable with a casual kiss and an affectionate hug.
He sat at the table, listening to Ben, drinking the tea he was offered, and realised with something like shock that their situation was almost exactly the same as it had been for the first few years they’d known each other—only reversed.
Now he was the one who wanted something Ben was unwilling or unable to give.
Was this how it had been for Ben? All those meetings in hotels or snatched afternoons at Barton Combe?
Sex, yes—plentiful and extremely satisfying.
But Ben had wanted more and Nikolas had known it.
Ben had stopped talking. Nikolas flicked back into the room. Ben was staring at him. He knew that look.
For the first time, Nikolas went to bed with Ben Rider wishing he didn’t have to—wishing they could watch a movie together, go for a walk, try to cook something edible, anything else but this, which had always been so easy between them.
For the first time, what he was missing hit Nikolas with full force.
He did what was required of him, but his heart wasn’t in it.
Ben didn’t even notice.
He apparently didn’t know Nikolas well enough to spot the difference.
* * *