Chapter 10
TEN
KIT
We pulled up to the shop, parking the pack’s van. I froze when I saw the hunched figure leaning by the front door, tapping cigarette ashes onto the sidewalk.
Dread flooded down my back in an icy deluge.
“Um, what’s the date today?” I asked, my voice hoarse.
“Fifteenth?” said Adrian, and I swallowed.
Shit.
I’d missed her birthday. Me and Juni had both set an avalanche of reminders, but I’d been puking my guts out when they went off, and I’d missed it.
My arm was heavy as I opened the passenger door and hopped out.
“Kristofer! There you are. I was just about to call you.” My grandmother flicked away the cigarette butt and came over, tapping her cheek.
“Hey grandmother,” I said, quickly pecking her cheek and trying not to choke on the cloud of tobacco smoke and perfume that clung to her. The smell was enough to make my anxiety skyrocket. I hadn’t seen her in two years, not since Dee’s funeral.
grandmother Esme turned to narrow her eyes at the three alphas following me out of the minivan. I shifted on my feet nervously. Her lips thinned as she looked Jhin and Adrian up and down. Vander, with his dyed hair, baggy clothes, and plugs, got a disdainful sniff.
“You’re Kit’s Grandmother?” asked Jhin politely. “Nice to meet you. I’m Jhin, and this is Adrian and Vander.”
“I see,” Esme said, lip curling. I could feel my face burning with embarrassment, and I shot them a grimace.
“Are you with this pack, Kit?” She turned her back on them, addressing me.
I nodded, too anxious to speak.
grandmother rolled her eyes.
“I suppose that’s why you forgot my birthday?”
“I’m sorry, grandmother, I was really sick—” I started, but she clicked her tongue and waved my apology off.
“There’s always an excuse, isn’t there, dear? Never mind. I’m here now, and you can treat me to dinner, hmm?”
“Yeah, of course,” I said, dread curdling my stomach. “Let me just?—”
“You’ve got your wallet, right dear? Then what else do you need? I’ll drive.” She took my arm and marched me over to the car.
“You okay, Kit?” asked Adrian, stepping towards us, concern on his face.
“Of course he is,” Esme said, glaring at me.
“Um, it’s okay,” I said, sweating, not wanting to make a scene. “I’ll see you guys later?”
She didn’t really have anyone else who remembered her birthday. And yes, I didn’t want to, but she should have someone in her life who cared about her, right?
I’d felt so guilty avoiding her these last few years, and it was probably about time I actually spent some time with her.
Surely it couldn’t be as awful as I remembered.
* * *
“I wasn’t surprised you forgot—but you’ve had three whole days to remember, and nothing?”
“I’m sorry, grandmother,” I said. Again.
She sniffed. “You’ve always been selfish. What was it this time? Too busy enjoying yourself with that new pack? Don’t think I didn’t see them go into your apartment.”
I flinched, looking down at my untouched beer. She was on her third martini.
Breathe Kit. Just like Dee had taught me. Don’t get pulled into her nonsense.
“It’s not like that,” I said, and she snorted, wagging a yellowed finger at me.
“Come now. You have to stop wasting your time on packs like that.”
“Like what?” I asked, but I knew what she meant. The Argo pack hardly screamed money. She curled her lip in a sneer.
“For god’s sake, Kristofer, they were driving a minivan . You need to secure a rich pack bond while you still can. Your looks won’t last forever, and we both know you don’t have anything else to offer.”
I sat in the chair, her words dragging me back down into that horrible pit I’d never really escaped from. I had been very, very wrong. This was much more awful than I remembered.
“They’re my scent match,” I said quietly, squeezing my hands on my lap.
“Sit up straight and stop muttering, for god’s sake." Her voice cracked like a whip, and I obeyed on instinct. I met her eyes, trying to keep my chin up.
“They’re my scent match,” I repeated, louder, trying to channel some of Juniper’s energy.
She blinked, and then laughed, the awful sound burning in my ears.
“So, what, you’re going to bond them?” she sneered. “Live happily ever after? You’re just like your foolish mother. Thinks she’s in love , then gets knocked up with you. And who’s saddled with the consequences of her actions? Me! Having to give up my life to raise another ungrateful child. And despite my best efforts, you turn out to be just as much of a disappointment.”
My hands were squeezing so tight my skin was whitening, my eyes prickling.
Pathetic. Real men don’t snivel like that.
“And then you perfume, and I think, finally , because if there’s one thing you’re good at, it’s being a pansy. So, I pay for you to go to that omega school, to give you a chance most people would die for. But heaven forbid you do something right.”
There was nothing, no escape, just this. My shame. The stark reality of my failures. The lump in my throat was painful, my hands shaking, my face burning.
“How embarrassing, for me to have to explain to everyone that my grandson couldn’t cut it. No, he didn’t get a golden ticket. He’s whoring himself out for his heats to get by. That I’m now still saddled with that debt, living in poverty, and you’ve given me nothing .”
“I’m paying that back?—”
“ Don’t interrupt me, Kristofer. You want to make things right? Go find a pack with money and lock them down.”
I couldn’t fucking breathe. I was going to break down right here; I was pathetic and I needed to pull myself together. I needed my nest, I needed to disappear into a giant pile of blankets and cry. I needed?—
“That’s quite enough of that.”
The voice shot through me like an arrow, and my eyes flew up to the figure standing next to our table.
Juniper .
JUNIPER
After lunch with Ez, he’d sent me back to bed, and I’d napped. My head was still aching as I rolled over and gave a yawn, but it did feel better.
What time was it? I grabbed my phone and froze when I saw the message banner on the screen.
Kit: Juni, I may be back late. grandmother took me out to Alto’s.
What?
No.
I’d made sure Kit’s money was on time this month, and she’d only threatened to come by if we missed something.
I froze, my blood going cold.
Oh shit. Her birthday.
I burst into the living room. “Where’s Kit?”
“Oh. His grandmother met him downstairs. Took him out for a birthday dinner.” Jhin glanced up from his laptop.
“And you let him leave with that monster?” I snapped. It was the guilt talking; they couldn’t have known.
There was an awkward silence.
“He told us it was fine,” said Vander, who had the audacity to sound annoyed.
“That’s because he can’t say no to her! He at least took a car, right? So he can leave if he needs to?” I stalked to the window, looking down.
Nope.
Our SUV was still parked in our spot.
“I’m going to find him,” I said, grabbing my keys from the counter.
“Wait… Juniper, you shouldn’t drive right now.” Adrian stood up, worried.
“Then fucking drive me,” I snapped. A surge of guilt came over me as he flinched slightly. “Sorry.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “Can you drive me, please? Now?”
* * *
I had to admit, it felt good striding into the restaurant with a pack at my back. I’d face off against Esme any day for Kit’s sake, but now I had allies. People who would fight for him, too. Plus, they’d get to see me wield my powers of anger against someone who 100% deserved it.
Besides Vander.
I spotted Kit’s pink hair at a table around the corner and breezed past the hostess, making straight for him.
Esme was in top Cruella form this evening. She looked skinnier; her wrinkles deeper. What hadn’t changed was the depth of loathing that seared within me when I saw her.
“ Don’t interrupt me, Kristofer. You want to make things right? Go find a pack with money and lock them down.”
Fury tore through me, and I stomped up to their table before Kit had a chance to reply.
“That’s enough of that,” I snapped at her. I pulled Kit to his feet. He looked shell-shocked.
Fuck. How much damage had she done? In half a fucking hour?
“Excuse me,” said Esme, glaring daggers at me. “We’re in the middle of dinner.”
As if she had any claim on his time. To any of him. I wanted to pounce on her and strangle her with her gaudy fake necklace.
I think one of the most satisfying moments of my life was two years ago. We were at Dee’s funeral and Esme had just found out she’d been cut from Dee’s will. Esme had the audacity to say Kit was better off without her. I’d slapped her right in her smug, wrinkly face.
And that was before all the valuable items and jewelry that Dee had left to Kit had mysteriously vanished from her house.
“No, you just finished.” I grabbed my wallet because money was all this bitch wanted. Usually, I’d argue that giving in to terrorists was a bad plan, but I needed her to fuck right off— now —and this was the best way. I took out a wad of cash, inwardly wincing at the amount, and put it on the table.
“Honestly, I was just going for a nice dinner with my grandson, ” she sniffed, scooping up the cash and putting it into her handbag’s insatiable maw. Her yellowing, hateful eyes snapped to mine. “Jealousy doesn’t look good on you, dear. Just because you don’t have any family, doesn’t mean you have to ruin special moments for other people.”
As if she knew anything about family.
“Right. We done here?” I asked, turning to Kit. He gave me a weak, wobbly smile.
He stepped next to Ez, who took his hand, and I nodded toward the door. Together, the pack started to leave, but Esme couldn’t help sneaking in one last comment.
“You really need to find better company, Kit. This gold pack scum has been dragging you down ever since she stole you from that academy.”
I faltered.
Gold pack?
Did she know?
Had she looked me up?
Or fuck, had I been wearing my contacts the last time I saw her?
I whirled around to face her, and she had a small little smirk on her face as I stormed back to the table.
But to my shock, someone else got their first.
Vander slammed both fists down on the cheap laminate surface, sending plates and glasses flying as he snarled in her stupid, nasty face.
She let out a strangled shriek, jerking backward and falling out of her chair. Jhin and Adrian were there in a second, grabbing Vander’s shoulders and yanking him back in a practiced move. I was prepared to lurch at her, but I felt Kit’s hand tight on my arm, tugging me back. My heart was pounding at Esme’s revelation. Perhaps the pack just thought she was bluffing. I glanced at their faces, trying to get a read, but couldn’t get anything.
“Let’s go, Juni. You know she’ll call the police," he warned. She'd done that last time, too, claiming assault. Then she’d demanded a whole bunch of money to drop the charges. I spat at her feet, but let Kit tug me away.
“Yes, I’m sure the authorities would love to know about those contacts you’re wearing.” Esme’s triumphant voice made all of us freeze.
Terror shot through me. She wouldn’t. I was staring at her evil face when Kit spoke.
“Take that back.”
Kit’s voice was thin, trembling with fury. Esme sneered.
“Oh, Kristofer, don’t?—”
“Take that back. Or I’ll cut you off. I mean it. ”
He was standing tall, his cheeks red, more anger on his face than I’d ever seen before. My heart was pounding as I looked at him. His eyes were blazing, his face so intent, like he’d never been so sure of anything in his life. And I’d never, ever seen him stand up to Esme. She stared at him, eyes dark with fury and contempt. Then she stood, brushing off her dress and giving a little scoff.
“God, so much fuss over a little joke," she said. “Well. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
Kit held my hand as we all left the restaurant and climbed into the van, the pack following. God, with Kit’s reaction, it would be hard to deny the truth now. I sat in silence as Adrian started the engine.
Jhin cleared his throat. “Juniper," he said.
“What?” I tried to put venom in it, but I just sounded tired.
“Are you a gold pack omega?” he asked.
I swallowed, and Kit squeezed my hand, but I couldn’t answer.
“If the police come for a check up, would they find illegal contacts?”
“Yes,” I whispered. Before this week, no alpha had ever found out I was gold pack. Not since I’d started the Safe House. Now this whole pack knew.
I felt myself shrinking, letting my hair fall in front of my face, my fingers digging into my legs. This was it. They knew I was an outcast. Not only that, a criminal.
I swallowed, trying to brace myself. I’d never been ashamed of what I was, or what I had to do. But perhaps this moment was the closest I’d come; because I did care what they thought of me. Jhin especially. I didn’t want to see the look of rejection that might be on his face right now.
“Perhaps it would be wise to store them somewhere else for a while.” Jhin’s voice was gentle, and relief hit me like a wave. He wasn’t judging me. I nodded, swallowing, fighting back tears.
“Just so you know,” Vander said, his voice laced with annoyance, “this doesn’t change anything. I don’t give a shit what colour your eyes are. You’re still the most irritating person I’ve met in my life.”
Jhin shot him a disapproving look, and I scoffed, my delicate emotional state replaced by anger.
“Oh, fuck off,” I said, folding my arms and straightening my back. He smirked at me, and I felt a brief flash of gratitude that he definitely didn’t deserve.
KIT
“I’ll be right in, okay?” I said to the pack as we parked. “I just need a minute.”
Juniper squeezed my hand and shepherded the pack inside, leaving me to my thoughts.
I felt like something within me had changed at that dinner. One moment I was Kristofer, the disappointment. Never good enough. Nothing to offer.
And then, grandmother Esme had threatened Juni.
As Kit, the Kit who’d built a life away from Esme, I couldn’t let her be treated like that. I’d stood up to my grandmother. Told her what I had been wanting to say for years.
I hugged my knees in the van, staring at the streetlights casting their yellow glow onto the pavement outside. I thought I’d left Kristofer behind at Hawthorne Academy, but I hadn’t. I’d kept him with me all these years. I’d become him again tonight, but something had broken when I’d defended Juniper. For the first time, I’d been Kit even while with grandmother. I wasn’t sure where that left me. I’d spent so long believing what she’d told me, and now, perhaps I didn’t have to….
I bunched my hands up in my sleeves, and there was a little knock on the side of the van. The door popped open a second later, and Adrian poked his head inside.
“Hey,” he said, offering me a shy smile.
“Oh, should I come in?” I asked, shuffling across the seat. Were they waiting for me?
“No, sorry, I just wanted to check in on you. I didn’t hear everything, but your grandmother seems awful.”
I looked up at him. It was dark, and he was just illuminated by the streetlights. His soft brown eyes were taking me in, eyebrows creased with concern. My breath caught for a second. He’d come back just to check on me?
I had stopped next to him, and he hesitated before he pulled me into a tight hug, folding my skinny form into his thick arms . It just fit, having him there, wrapped around me.
“Yeah, she’s horrible.” I rested my head on his shoulder, drinking him in. He just held me, our only movement the slight rise and fall of our breathing, almost in sync. God, he smelled so good. Cinnamon and pear crashed into me like a wave and spoke to my soul. Safe . I could have stayed there forever.
He pulled away, and I wanted to protest the absence of his scent and touch, but he was reaching into his pocket and pulling out something fluffy.
“I saw this and, um, thought it was very Kit,” he said, holding it up for me with a shy smile. It was a keychain, a gold ring attached to a ball of soft, pink fluff. I took it gently, my face splitting into a grin and my heart swelling in my chest.
“I love it.” I brought it up to my face, brushing the softness against my lips and nose. It smelled like Adrian, and I threw my arms around him in another hug, this time squeezing him tight. God, what had I done to deserve someone this sweet?
“Thanks,” I said, and went onto my tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. His face, predictably, turned bright red, noticeable even in the streetlights, but he looked delighted.
I took his hand, and we went inside.
JUNIPER
I stared at myself in the mirror of my bathroom, my familiar golden eyes looking back. Despite marking me as an outcast, I loved my eyes. They were a tribute to my father’s memory, a reminder that I needed to be able to handle things myself.
Or… they had been.
This evening, my golden eyes had gained a new meaning. They were a message of trust to the alphas outside my door.
I did trust them. Even Vander, who may not like me, but who had still put his life at risk to defend me. They’d accepted me without question and given me a gift I wasn’t sure they knew the value of.
I added some fresh contact solution to the case and tightened the lids. Later—when the pack was asleep and couldn’t stop me—I’d take them over to the Safe House’s new location and leave them there. We kept a stash there anyway for gold packs to use during their heat if they wanted.
I took a step outside the bathroom, and for the first time since the alphas had come over, my muscles weren’t tensing at the sound of other people in our space. Kit was waiting for me in the corridor, a tender expression on his face that made my heart skip a beat.
“It’s nice to see you back, Juni," he said, pulling me into a hug. “You feel okay?”
“Yeah. I feel… good,” I said, surprised to realize it was true. I walked out into the living room, and Ez bounded over.
“Let’s see!” he piped up, coming close and peering at my eyes. I tried to push him away, but he moved around my arms with a grin.
“Nice. Suits you,” he said, before dodging back. I freed my arm and tried to swat him. Jhin gave me a smile.
“V, you’re not gonna look?” asked Ez, tugging on Vander’s sweater.
“Ez, she’s not a zoo animal.” Jhin frowned.
“No, but she looks super hot,” Ez replied. Vander stopped and turned to look at me then. I glared at him, and he smirked.
Jhin went pink, and I glanced at Kit, who didn’t seem to have noticed.
“We’re gonna watch a movie,” Kit said firmly. “And try to scrub my grandmother from my brain.”
He sat down on the couch, and I sat next to him. Movie sounded good.
Vander didn’t stick around, retreating into the spare room, and Jhin took his laptop out to the deck, saying he had work to do.
“You know there’s only four of us?” I said as Adrian put two huge bowls of popcorn down on the table.
“Trust me. One’s for Ez and the other’s for everyone else.”
Ez climbed over the back of the couch and slid in between me and Kit.
“‘Scuze me,” he said smoothly.
“You’re excused. You may leave,” I said, trying to shoo him away.
“Aw, don’t be so mean, girl.” He made a pouty face. “I don’t smell that bad, do I?”
He actually smelled really nice. His watermelon lemonade was sweet and refreshing, but that wasn’t the issue. I shifted slightly, trying not to smother him with my sour scent.
Adrian settled on the couch beside Kit as I clicked on the TV. It was a snug fit with all four of us, and I looked at all of them, shifting a bit, but no one else seemed to care.
I opened up our streaming app.
“Oh!” Kit let out an excited squeak. “The latest Crimson Fury pack movie is out? Put it on!” He leaned over Ez, trying to snatch the remote. His hands were in his sleeves, so he didn’t stand a chance.
“Hang on.” I moved out of his reach. “We don’t even know what it’s about.”
“I don’t care , Juni! Put it on!” he demanded. I rolled my eyes, giving in, and hit play.
“Shit, do we have competition?” Ez asked.
“It doesn’t count if they’re not real,” Kit said, bringing his knees up to his chest.
“They are real,” I replied.
“Yeah, but like, we’d never actually meet them, so they may as well not be.”
“Do you think his hair is really that smooth in real life?” I asked as Love’s character took up the screen.
“Probably,” Ez said, grabbing a handful of popcorn.
Adrian shushed us.
Ez didn’t seem to be worried about my scent at all, and I found myself relaxing after several minutes. Kit and I usually watched movies together, so it felt normal, even though we usually cuddled a lot more.
Ez didn’t seem to be able to sit still, and every time he shifted, I was reminded of how close he was. He’d grabbed one of the popcorn bowls and took to handing me and Kit handfuls every once in a while. He finished it astonishingly fast.
We were nearing the middle of the movie when he gave a big yawn, resting his arms on the couch behind him. The couch was old and sagged in the middle, which meant I was falling into him a little.
I watched as his hand came to rest smoothly on Kit’s shoulder, slowly guiding Kit toward him until he had Kit’s head on his chest. Kit gave a happy little sigh, turning so his hand was resting on Ez’s chest, too. I fought down a bitter stab of jealousy, turning back to look at the screen where Rook Harrison’s character was finally taking his shirt off.
Huh. That usually happened a lot sooner. They’d hear about that from the critics.
I was distracted, wondering how much makeup they’d had to use to cover Rook’s new chest tattoo, when I felt a brush against my shoulder. I glanced up to spot a very sneaky Ez with his tongue partly sticking out of the side of his mouth, his other arm on my shoulder. As our eyes met, he abandoned all subtlety and just tugged me over so my head was next to Kit’s on his chest.
Kit glanced up at me and rolled his eyes, but before I could pull away his hand interlaced with mine. He turned back to the movie, and I knew I should probably leave, but really it felt so nice, especially as a faint purr started in Ez’s chest beneath us.
I swallowed thickly.
He’d only started purring when both of us were there, even though he knew I was gold pack now. Like he truly wanted to have both of us here with him.
None of us moved as the credits rolled, and then Adrian stood up and stretched, grabbing the remote and turning the TV off. He switched on the lamp beside him and it was only when he looked at us that I stood quickly. I ducked away from Ez and Kit, my face burning as his gaze landed on us. I tried to make the movement casual, like it was normal to cuddle with your friends during a movie. I mean, me and Kit did it all the time.
Ez yawned again.
“That was the best movie ever,” he announced, his hand still on Kit’s shoulder. Me and Kit often finished movies curled up like that.
Kit lifted his head with a smile, and his hand wound through Ez’s hair as he pulled him in for a kiss.
I abruptly turned and headed for the bathroom, a sickening wave of bitterness lingering as the image stuck in my mind.