Chapter 18
The cast and crew piled into the main house for a celebratory meal.
Even then, the cameras kept rolling. The footage was too good to miss: Kazu’s gallant offer to pay for dinner but not delivery; the subsequent mix of applause and vehement booing; Nicky using an app to detect ghosts while Jesse cowered in the butler’s pantry.
Eunjae willed himself to forget that they were still recording.
It wasn’t easy. He’d always been slow to adapt to the sensation of being filmed, like the high whine of a mosquito in his ear.
Everywhere, the telltale gleam of a lens.
Always, the knowledge that every move he made and every word he spoke could be cut and pasted into a story someone else was telling.
I'm sneaking out, said Jiyeon, texting from a different room. Three dots appeared at the bottom of the chat as she typed another message, but then they'd fade as she debated what to say. Eventually, she settled on just one more line: I'll let you know when I get there.
Eunjae wanted to cut through the living room, the kitchen, the phalanx of cameras.
He wanted to walk outside and catch her before she made the drive back to Lemon Grove.
They'd barely spoken since Friday. She'd covered for Denny all weekend, wrapping up staff training before the diner welcomed its first batch of real live customers.
Apollo was busy too. There was always something going on.
Whether he could see Jiyeon from across the room or they were standing right next to each other, it didn't matter.
They were ships in the night. Having a proper, private conversation wasn't possible under current circumstances.
Drive safe, he sent back. It wasn't what Eunjae wanted to tell her. But going out there to say goodbye would draw too much attention, be too difficult to explain. He needed to be Ari right now. Apollo’s Ari had no reason to leave his spot on the stairs and chase after Emma Han.
Why didn't she tell him about the salon?
This question had plagued him ever since.
And yet, didn't it make sense that Jiyeon hadn't said a word?
For months, their relationship had revolved around Eunjae's problems, Eunjae’s career, Eunjae's family appearing from the ether and imposing themselves on his life.
When would she have had a chance to confide in him?
Maybe if he'd been close by instead of thousands of miles away.
Maybe if they hadn't spent more time apart than they were ever physically together, she would've told him the second it happened.
He should’ve asked her about it. What was wrong with him?
Eunjae got up, typing as he went. Just one word: wait.
He knew there was a side door that led directly into the rose garden, and he could reach Jiyeon from there.
If he hurried, if she saw his message and delayed leaving for a few minutes more, Eunjae could apologize.
He just needed to make it outside without being detected, and his attempt was almost successful.
But the conservatory wasn't empty, for a change; Kazu flagged him down, asking if he might lend a hand.
“That dummy Hong Namgyu went and did it again,” he grumbled, gesturing at crate after crate of fresh flowers.
“I’m done with this kid. I mean, what are we supposed to do with these?
I sent him to help pick up dinner, not buy a whole farm stand.
” Kazu rubbed at the back of his neck, at a loss. “Kept saying Jiyeon loves flowers.”
“She does,” said Eunjae.
“Good, because there's more in the van. Got a minute? It'll be faster if we're both bringing them in.”
Eunjae scanned the makeshift parking lot, just visible over the rose garden’s ornate fence. Jiyeon's car wasn't there. He'd sent his message too late.
He’d hesitated too long. Now she'd be gone until Wednesday night, and even talking on the phone was difficult to manage. At almost every hour of the day, Eunjae was surrounded by cameras, brothers, or a combination of the two.
Well, so much for that. Stifling a sigh, he said, “Yeah, no problem. I'll help.”
Kazu led him to the van, complaining every step of the way. “He just really, really wanted to go. But I didn't even give him money, Ari. I thought, what would Hwannie do? Step one, he wouldn't send Gyu with the credit card. So I gave it to the intern, right? And how do you think that went?”
“The intern had your card,” Eunjae guessed, “but hyung remembered his wallet this time.”
“Yeah! And why does he even have a wallet? You know his bank balance is usually zero. I swear he wouldn’t know a budget if it punched him in the eye.”
They trekked in and out, the stars cold and bright overhead. Midway through, Eunjae’s phone went off, rattling with a barrage of new messages. These weren’t from Jiyeon, but from Arthur.
>> Hey! This is so crazy but I met your mom and dad just now!
>> We’re all at the same hotel!
>> And I met your little bro at the diner
>> Great kid
>> Had tons of questions about my job
>> College and the bar exam and stuff
>> Maybe he wants to be a lawyer!
>> He can be my apprentice
Eunjae locked the screen. “We should get these in water.” The flowers were in galvanized buckets or bundled into paper-wrapped bouquets. He knew they’d fade quickly without tending.
Langley House had two kitchens, one older and one newer.
They hauled everything into the nearest, drawing the cameras’ attention in the process.
Kazu ranted about extravagant spending habits and the folly of purchasing products that weren’t even on sale.
When interviewed about his latest impulse buy, Namgyu stated simply that money should be spent on whatever gave you the most joy.
Why would you hold on to it and be miserable? So silly. Haha!
“Lay off him, Ueda,” Denny boomed from across the hall. “He’s stimulating the local economy. Shopping small and all that.”
“Yeah, leave hyung alone. He’s my nicest brother and he’s allowed to never have any money if that’s what he wants.”
“That’s right,” Nicky drawled, ambling by with his phone on a selfie stick. “Stay broke, Hong Namgyu!”
“Awwww!”
“Oh my gosh. Nicky’s on Star-Connect! He’s doing a livestream!”
“Idiot. We’re not supposed to do that without asking Prism first.” Kei stomped out. “I’m telling the Captain.”
“Hey, keep it down. I’m trying to see how long it takes for Eric to figure out what I’m doing.
Don’t you guys want to know if he’s worth the money?
I’m doing us a favor.” Nicky went back to grinning at the thousands and thousands of fans watching his broadcast. “PR hasn’t caught me yet. Isn’t that so funny?”
Eunjae allowed the noise to wrap around him like a blanket.
Brothers locked in debate, brothers laughing at shared jokes— it was a comfort, the soundtrack of his life for well over a decade now.
There was so much he didn’t know. He could see Ezra on the far side of the living room, noting the easy way he had with strangers, not a shy bone in his body. What else had he inherited from Leila?
At the very least, Eunjae knew what to do with these flowers.
He used to watch Miss Vivi take care of the bouquets his mother brought home from performances, holding the stems under running water, cutting at an angle.
Later, as he got older, he'd been allowed to help.
She'd have the radio going, humming along. Never forget to do this part, Vivian used to say. It helps them last longer. You can’t just throw them in water, see?
Some extra work gets the job done right. That goes for lots of things in life.
“Here, Ari,” Kazu said, joining him at the sink. “Show me how to do that. Somebody found me another pair of scissors.”
“Ah, thanks. It’s pretty easy, hyung.”
They trimmed flowers side by side, the others coming and going as they pleased. Kazu admonished them for not helping and received all manner of excuses in return. Jungwoo and Max were the only two who didn’t make an appearance.
“They’re secretly borrowing the piano,” Jesse whispered, the next time he dropped by.
“We told Eric it’s a song they wrote for Emerald, and then we told the Emerald people it’s a song they wrote for Mika’s wedding, and then we told the Zenith people it’s not even a song.
” Tempestuous sighing. “I don’t get how you can keep your big, dark secret all the time, hyung.
Are you okay? Is the stress clogging your pores yet? ”
Eunjae reached into the bucket at his feet, ready to trim another bunch. Water dripped onto his shoes. “Dark secret…?”
“I hope you and dark-secret-noona stay together forever, it’s great since it isn’t happening to me, like it’s adorable, but it’s totally not my thing.”
Kazu flicked water at him. “Quit running your mouth,” he hissed. “There’s three Erics here.”
Jesse scampered off, whining, Marshmallow running along at his heels. Or were they back to Uyu now? The dog had gone through more names than Apollo had gone through hair colors, collectively. Kazu shook his head as he watched them go. “We’re lying to everybody. It’s crazy.”
“The new agency will want an album right away,” Eunjae replied, stripping leaves from a long, green stem. “We wouldn’t get any kind of break if Zenith knew how many tracks we’ve actually finished.”
“I know that. And don’t get me wrong, I want to go home.
I’ll lose it if we have to jump straight to promo after this.
But it just seems like everything is harder than it has to be, you know?
Make the agencies happy, make the publicist happy, make the fans happy.
Why’s that so hard? And when do we get to be happy?
We won’t live forever. We should be happy while we can. ”
Kazu filled a glass pitcher, holding it under the faucet. “Hwannie’s right. He always is. And I know we said we’d stay together, but what if we end up hating each other? What if forcing this to work is the reason we fall apart?”