Chapter 25
When they were sixteen, maybe seventeen, Jiyeon and Arthur helped at a restoration project hosted by the Lemon Grove Historical Society.
Back then, a portion of each weekend was for volunteer work.
Their service club had a packed schedule.
On that particular Saturday, Jiyeon climbed a rickety ladder to scrub a row of windows caked in grime.
She did it because it needed doing. Also, she did it because Arthur told her not to.
She still remembered his reaction, when one of the rungs snapped and she'd come close to falling. He’d been worried, yes, but also livid.
The same emotions warred in his expression right now.
But what right did he have, to be so upset about this, to scold her for being careless?
When did any of this become Arthur’s business?
As usual, his presence brought the past into sharp focus, overlapping it with the present in a way that made Jiyeon feel trapped. She was sixteen and Arthur was saying that he loved her. She was twenty-six and painfully aware that she didn’t love him in the same way.
Fighting to keep her anger in check, Jiyeon said, “Please just stay out of this.”
“I’m supposed to stand by while you get yourself into this much trouble?
You could’ve gotten caught, running off like that.
” Arthur proceeded to list the consequences of getting caught, as if they weren't well aware.
Apollo fans would be furious. The guys could lose the contract they were so close to signing, and the damage to their careers could be irreparable.
“Wait. You said we could’ve gotten caught.” Eunjae frowned, studying Arthur’s face in the gloom. “How long have you known about us?”
Arthur had the grace to look wildly uncomfortable. “A few weeks.”
“Who told you?”
“I promised I wouldn't say.”
“Arthur—”
“I promised!” He rubbed at the back of his neck.
“Does it matter? Look, Ari. This came out of left field for me, but… I’ll be honest, man.
I thought you’d think twice before getting involved.
If your fans find out, they could make Emmie’s life a living hell.
Stalking, death threats, harassment. I figured you’d never put anybody through that. I really thought you’d know better.”
Even as this admonition stunned Eunjae into silence, it stoked Jiyeon’s temper into a roaring blaze. “We’re done here. This conversation is over.”
She took Eunjae with her. Arthur jogged to keep up.
“Hey, let's just calm down, okay?” He said this in his most placating, most infuriating tone.
It made her anger burn higher and brighter, the fury escalating to a fever pitch.
How was it that he could know her for over a decade without ever learning what not to say?
“I'll calm down when you leave. Go home. Tell them you can't do the show anymore. I'm serious, Arthur. I've had enough.”
“Would you just let me explain? Don't be like this, don't do that thing where you try to take care of it all on your own. You never ask for help even when you need it.”
“And do you think it’s helpful to scold us like we’re little kids? We both knew what we were doing, when we made this choice. I thought I was choosing to be with him, and only him, but so many people keep getting involved. That’s not normal.”
Normal. Eunjae flinched at the word she'd chosen. Instantly, she was sorry. Jiyeon ran up hard against her own exhaustion, a solid wall built with bricks she'd laid by hand. She was so tired. She didn't want to talk about this anymore.
Farther down the path, Apollo had congregated near the water, loaded with souvenirs and midway prizes.
She could tell they were worried, but although she was grateful that they cared, it was just more weight to bear.
Another row of bricks. Jiyeon stepped aside so that Eunjae could be drawn into the fold once more.
Brothers slung their arms around him, veterans at concealing fatigue with jokes and laughter.
He was the only one who couldn’t manage a smile.
The guys filmed their final segment of the day.
Arthur joined her on the sidelines, more determined than ever.
“You left this kind of life,” he persisted.
“Said you were sick of living every second on camera.
You didn't want it anymore. Now you're willing to do it again, just for him? I don't understand.”
“You don't have to understand. For the last time, this isn't your problem.”
“How can you say that? I know it's over between us, but you're still my friend, and so is Ari. I’m just worried. This could be bad for both of you.”
“So we should break up? Is that where you’re taking this?”
“I never said that! Emmie, come on.” Arthur sighed, pacing to the edge of the dock. “I guess I was pretty hard on him earlier, but I’ve got nothing against Ari. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be with him.”
“Good,” Jiyeon retorted, “since you’d have no right to say it.”
“Could you just let me talk? I want to help you!” He rubbed at his temple the way he always used to when they’d argue, like her stubborn defiance had given him a headache. Then Arthur said, “You guys have to keep this a secret, don’t you? I could help you hide.”
She stared at him. “What?”
“The fans won’t think you’re dating Ari if it seems like you’re with me. Solves so many problems. That's why they asked me to stay on. We don’t even need to pretend, they’ll just edit some footage and make it seem like we're together. It won’t be real. It’s just for optics.”
“Optics.”
“And it would be a lot safer,” he pressed on. “You could still be with him, but no one will suspect that anything’s going on—”
Well, there was only one answer. Jiyeon cut him off, unwilling to hear another word. “No,” she said. “We won’t be doing that.”
“Why not? Apollo’s PR guy said it was a great idea.”
So he was good buddies with Eric, too. “And where did this idea come from, originally? The same person who told you I'm with Eunjae?”
The look on his face was enough to confirm her suspicions.
Over the course of their long relationship, as friends and then more, Arthur’s thoughts and motivations had always been as transparent as Jiyeon’s were opaque.
The pieces fit. He’d met everyone in Eunjae’s family because he was staying at the same hotel.
He’d brought her a ‘solution’ which involved active deception, the telling of a continuous lie.
Arthur, who felt morally compromised by even the smallest, most harmless fib.
Arthur, who couldn't even lie about his schedule for the sake of a surprise birthday party. She knew him too well. He didn’t come up with that plan on his own.
“Next time you hang out with Leila, ask her why Eunjae has her number blocked.”
There was no attempt at denial. “She’s just worried about him. That’s his mom. It’s only natural.”
“Not everyone’s mom is like yours or mine. Leila’s been a lot of things, but she hasn’t been his mom.”
Jiyeon started walking away, but Arthur pursued. “You know what I said, when I found out you were dating him? I told her that it couldn’t be true. You don’t do stuff like this. It’s just not like you.”
“It’s just not like me to do what, Arthur?”
“To… to be like this!” he exclaimed, hands thrown up in exasperation.
“Sometimes I don’t even recognize you. You’ve been with Ari for what, a few months?
But you’re willing to be here, wasting your time working backstage on a reality show when you could be doing your own thing.
You’ve known what you want out of life for as long as we’ve been friends, and that’s what you should be doing right now, you should be out there going after your big dream.
I thought that was the plan. I can’t believe you’d change it for a guy.
You definitely weren’t about to change anything for me. ”
She read the hurt in his expression, the struggle to find order and meaning in a world that had flipped upside down, gone off track.
She made note of the stubborn set to his jaw as he waited for her to acknowledge that she had, indeed, lost her mind completely.
Her priorities had gone out the window. He was right and she was wrong.
Wrong for not being the same girl he’d met in middle school, wrong for growing into a shape that was new to him.
Jiyeon heard everything Arthur was trying to say.
She even heard the things he refused to say out loud.
The water was cold, but shallow. Jiyeon shoved him into it.
“It’s your turn to listen. Plans change. This isn’t what I expected, but I’ve found something good and I won’t let go. And maybe I seem so different ‘cause you never really knew me. You just thought you did.”
He grabbed hold of the deck, splashing her shoes and the cuffs of her jeans.
Jiyeon crouched down to look him in the eye.
“I’m not done yet. It’s not my place to tell Eunjae that you can’t be friends.
If he still likes you after this, that’s his call.
But if you ever nag him about his mom or his job or anything else, you’d better hope I don’t find out.
You don’t know the whole story. You don’t have any right. ”
Arthur lost his grip on the sodden boards. He slipped below the surface, then popped up and scolded some more. “Emmie, do not push his mom into the lake. I’m serious! I know that look! Geez, you really haven’t changed much after all, I take it back—”
Jiyeon ignored him. Apollo and the film crew had come to investigate. “Arthur fell in,” she said. “Can you help? He’ll need to borrow a coat, at least. And I have some beach towels in my car. I’ll go get them.”
Denny snorted, but the guys were already on the move. Namgyu shucked his jacket and went pelting down the dock. Nicky jogged after him, catching Jiyeon’s eye as he passed. “Hurry, Zu,” he bawled over his shoulder. “Arthur can’t swim!”
“What? Are you joking?”
There was another splash, the sound of a heroic, if unnecessary, rescue.
Eunjae pushed through the jumble of people and equipment to reach her, but Jiyeon was searching for a face in the crowd.
Sure enough, she found him: Eric in his teal jacket, the Prism logo clearly visible on his chest. She could hear Denny already, berating her for the lack of subtlety, but she didn’t care.
When Eric noticed her staring, Jiyeon stared right back.