CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
My arms wrapped around Kodhan’s neck on their own accord.
A sharp tug pulled at my middle, enticing my body to press closer to his despite the fact that there was no space physically left between us.
Anyone could burst through that door. Darion had done it. One of Maverick’s guards had come close, too. Wit could begin right this moment. But the feel of his lips against mine, the heat of his magic caressing me like invisible fingers…
There was a certain bliss in distraction. And I found myself needing it just as much as I wanted to be crowned as a Starlight Champion. I needed him. The haze that came with his warmth. All of it.
He deepened our kiss, his tongue parting my lips with ease. I welcomed him fully. Then he inched us backwards until I was pressed up against the wall.
“Tell me to stop.” The words were muffled, his lips barely leaving mine.
He was giving a chance to end this here—the gift of walking away. But my mind had already been made. For once, I’d let go. Wouldn’t think. The consequences, I could deal with later.
I drew his bottom lip between my teeth, and his answering groan sent my toes curling. I pulled back just a fraction. “This changes nothing.”
I may have wanted distraction—wanted to give into the attraction I’d so stubbornly ignored—but I wasn’t so foolish as to immediately forget everything he’s done up to now.
Even after knowing the intentions behind it.
Forgiveness would take time. But here, in this cold, tiny room, time was inexistant.
Like the world held itself stagnant while we indulged in a moment of selfishness.
A moment of ignorance to the wreckage beyond these four walls.
His body tensed against mine. An emotion flashed across his face, too fast for me to pick apart.
“This changes nothing,” he repeated, though it sounded hollow.
Empty. Before I could further analyze his sudden change in demeanor, he slanted his lips across mine once again, and my hands went from around his neck to his shoulders, his chest. Like they couldn’t decide where to settle.
Greedily seeking to touch him in any way that they could.
These kisses were not gentle, or sweet. They were hungry and claiming. Rough. Each time our lips made contact was a battle for dominance. I needed more.
Like he’d heard my thoughts, he tore his lips from mine, only to redirect his kisses to the column of my throat. His hips rolled into mine then, eliciting a soft gasp as his hardness pressed into me. Unlike mine, his hands knew exactly where they wanted to go.
He reached for the first button of my vest. Popped it open without looking. Then went on to the next one. And the next. Until they were all undone.
We were both panting by the time the last button snapped.
Fingers leaving a scalding trail in their wake, he slid them across the exposed skin of my stomach, right above the lining of my pants. “You haven’t told me to stop.”
I looked him dead in the eyes and began working on the buttons of his own vest. Mercifully, he’d chosen to abandon the undershirt. “Don’t you dare.”
I could see the barely restrained hunger there, waiting to be unleashed. And it was like my words were part of the spell that could unbind it.
Fire burst to life around my body, lighting his face ablaze.
It wasn’t hot, not like it had been back in my room. No, it felt like what he’d done during Strength, withholding just enough of its heat for it to resemble more of a warm caress, the barest of tingles along the places it made contact. It curled along the wall, outlining my figure.
“Do you see how badly I burn for you, Eloise?” he asked, his voice rough.
My eyes fluttered closed as his fingers slid directly over top of where I needed them to be.
Pressure closed around my windpipe. Far from what was enough to fully cut off my airflow, but enough that my next breath stuttered.
Through my lashes, I peered down at his other hand, which had wrapped around my throat.
Small flames rose from his fingers and wrist. But where it should have scalded my skin irreparably, I felt only the natural heat of his skin, and mild fascination.
His fingers stopped moving. “I asked you a question.”
Bastard.
“Yes,” I hissed, glaring at him the best I could while running my hands down his chest, splaying across his abdomen. The feel of his bare skin was addictive. I couldn’t get enough of it.
Without warning, he plunged a single finger into me. Hungrily swallowed my moan by crashing his lips into mine. And began to pump slow circles, retracting that one finger to the first knuckle only to sink it back in to the last, repeatedly.
“You were right,” he whispered, nipping my bottom lip just like I had his. “I am mad. You drive me mad. Your presence pulls the very essence of common sense from my head. Reduces my ability to think properly until every logical thought becomes an incoherent muddle of nothing.”
He added a second finger then, wringing a whimper from me. My knees shook from the effort to keep me upright.
“That is what you do to me. I should hate it. Rage against it. But I find myself craving it instead. Craving you.”
I couldn’t see straight anymore. The heat, his pulsing fingers, the threat of his fire burning me with no more than a single thought from him—I was already going to fall over the edge.
Letting go of my throat, he reached down to grab my wrist before I could slide my hand down his stomach, underneath the line of his pants. “This is my atonement,” he chastised before I could protest. “Do you understand what that means?”
His fingers started to retract when I failed to answer.
“T-tell me,” I stuttered, basking in the wave of pleasure rolling through my core as he sank them back in completely, curling them just so.
“It means that the work to be done here is mine alone.” He guided my hand back up until I cupped his cheek. He leaned into it, letting my wrist go.
“What if I want all of you?” I asked shakily.
A sinister smirk twisted his lips. “Then maybe I could give myself to you, if that is what you truly want.” The fire around me burned brighter. “Or maybe I could make you beg for it.” He laughed softly at my narrowed brows. “Don’t worry, I won’t. Not this time.”
Not this time.
Shifting the angle of his hand, he wound an arm around my waist to keep me upright.
His eyes greedily drank in my parted lips, the crimson staining my cheeks.
“But I am a selfish man, Eloise. Nothing will ever change that.” He worked me faster, his chest heaving in tandem with mine.
“When I take you fully,” when, not if, “I will not hold back. I’ll give you everything you ask for.
And I will be the only one to hear you scream. ”
“Is that a promise?” I asked around a breathless sigh.
“It is an oath.”
By the stars above.
Tiny pinpricks of heat—not from his magic, mine alone—blasted from my core, shooting sparks of pleasure through my legs, up my spine. Flashes of color dotted my vision, pierced only by the jade of his eyes until they disappeared, too.
He groaned as I trembled against him. “That’s it.” Pressing his lips against mine to stifle my cries, he muttered, “Keep coming for me.”
I thought I would never stop, wave after wave of soul-consuming, mind-numbing pleasure washing over every inch of my limbs until finally, finally, those waves receded, giving me the chance to breathe, for my feet to settle back onto the ground.
The fire around me flickered one final time before guttering out.
Kodhan peppered small, featherlight kisses across both of my cheeks. Pressed a third one to my forehead. “So beautiful.” Another one, to the tip of my nose. “You could bring me to my knees with one look alone.”
If my heart hadn’t burst moments ago, it cracked open now, splitting right down the middle.
This wouldn’t last, that I knew. I’d told him myself, this would change nothing. But there wasn’t anything in this moment stopping me from pretending otherwise. Even if it would shatter my already bleeding heart.
“If Wit had started already, we would know. Let’s rest.” With a tug around my waist, he took a step towards his bed.
My knees were still weak. I wasn’t certain I could walk properly yet. Still, I said, “I should go.”
“No. Stay.” His hold tightened. “Please.”
This changes nothing.
His gaze was pleading.
“Fine. I’ll stay.”
Relief washed over his features, like he’d expected a different answer.
It was a good thing he didn’t have access to my thoughts. If he did, he would have found that another answer never existed.
Selfishness followed me like a shadow as I took up the space beside him on the bed. Cawed a satisfied cackle as I rested my head on the space between his shoulder and his arm. Just for now, I told myself. Just this once.
Liar, that selfishness hissed.
“I’m not going to sleep,” I told him without looking up.
“Neither am I.”
“Then we should go find the others soon.”
“They’re occupied,” he answered gruffly, then rectified his tone by adding, “they know where we are. They knew as soon as you nearly left a hole in my door with your fist.”
“I was merely practicing.”
“For what?”
“Your face.”
With a scoff, he pinched my side. “It still hurts, you know.”
I swat him away. Fought the smile that crept towards my mouth. “Good. You deserved it.”
His laugh rumbled underneath my cheek. “Theia wanted me to tell you that she cast a protective magic around your mind. And she wanted me to apologize on her behalf for doing it without your permission.”
“Is that all you wanted to see me for?”
“I wouldn’t say that was the sole reason.” A lick of fire wound around my arm, then ran down the slope of my hip until it disappeared.
Ignoring the sudden, sharp throb between my legs, I tried to sense any indication of what Theia had done, but came up empty. “I can’t feel her magic.”
“It’s very subtle.” He tapped a finger against my temple. “Like the Veil, but much more discrete. No flashy semantics.”
Curiosity had my eyes falling shut so I could concentrate on the outer premises of my mind.