CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE #3
“Tricked you?” he laughed harshly. Like I’d insulted him.
“I should have told you the truth, that much I take accountability for. But I did not trick you, Eloise. Do you remember what I told you?” He advanced slowly, seemingly unable to keep even the smallest of distances between us.
Then brushed a tentative knuckle across my cheek. “I told you that I was selfish.”
“That changes nothing,” I breathed.
“No. But when I finally held my heart in my hands again—heard yours beat so soundly for me—it was like I’d begun to live again.
Like that incessant pull, constantly ripping my chest apart, finally gave me a moment of reprieve.
Because I’d spent countless nights believing I’d never be able to hold you, to touch you again.
But I could. And, gods, I couldn’t stop. ”
I hadn’t been able to, either. I’d already lost count of all the selfish moments I’d stolen. I hadn’t been able to discern why my own heart felt lighter, why the shadows retreated when I’d let everything fade but him.
I hadn’t known.
Hadn’t known any of it. But my soul, my very marrow, had wanted him. Like it had been ushering me to the truth since the very beginning.
I turned my head away from him. From his touch. Tried not to think about how his hand lingered in the air, about the hurt that flashed across his face.
Tried even harder not to feel like an absolute fool. A na?ve, clueless fool.
But failed, miserably.
Another growl from Theia, but it wasn’t as violent. It was far lower, accompanied with upturned grass as she shifted her claws. She needed very little magic to sense the war in my head. Even less to feel the pain it wrought on what was left of my heart.
“That doesn’t make me forgive you,” I said, quietly. “Or any of you, for that matter.”
“I know,” Kodhan replied, just as quiet.
“Back in the tower. It wasn’t just a story, was it?”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“And this goddess you’re referring to. She would be the one that cursed the god of chaos, correct?”
A curt nod.
“Where is he, then? Is he leading the Dark Ones? A supposed killer of gods cannot simply stand idle after all that damage. It’s like I said, we would’ve heard of him.”
“You have. You know him.”
My head was already spinning. But now it began to ache. This was all too much. It felt like I was trapped in some twisted dream that refused to allow me to wake.
“We are approaching a line even you cannot cross, Kodhan. You said you were telling the truth.”
“I am.” His next words were gentle. “Who do you know that has power unlike anyone else? That thrives on discord and chaos? That has a thirst for violence like no other. Basks in it. There is only one person in Aedreath that fits the description.”
He was right. Only one person came to mind.
I was going to be sick. Again.
I swallowed hard against the bile rising up my throat.
“Go on. Say his name. Speak the truth.”
I nearly choked on it. “Maverick.”
It made horrible sense. And I hated that it did. Why he wouldn’t age. Why he had access to so much power that was so different compared to everyone else. Why, sometimes, his very essence screamed other.
“He was never gifted magic from the gods, he is one. He’s the God Killer.”
“That’s right. I’d hoped,” Kodhan paused. Clenched his fists. “I’d hoped that telling you the story would spark at least one memory. That the details would sound familiar somehow. Our very purpose was to eradicate him once and for all. That is why she created us.”
My next breath was painful. “You say I’m one of you.
Created by the goddess of light. You want me to believe that I’m not cursed.
” I’d dreamed of speaking those words out loud my entire life.
But not like this. “What of the vial, then? Why did it feel like my insides were being ripped apart if it didn’t cure me? ”
“It might have dispersed some of the restrictive magic they put on you. Enough for some of your power to come back in part. But if you say that shadows have been following you for some time already, then I’m not entirely sure,” he admitted tightly. “Theia?”
“It is worse than I’d hoped. There is no change. It’s interesting, though, that you say the shadows have found you. Because I cannot see them, even now.”
“But it’s a beginning. These shadows—the darkness, it is not a curse, Eloise.
It’s always been yours, the root of your magic.
Just like mine is fire—light. She thought it was poetic when she created the both of us.
” The barest whoosh of air escaped through his parted lips in a short sigh.
Almost a laugh, but too sad to sound like one.
“I’m sorry. You have every right to be angry. About all of it.” He shook his head slowly. “We won’t leave without you. But he’ll come looking for you soon.”
“There is nothing beyond this forest. Everything was ravaged hundreds of years ago, there is nowhere else to go.”
“Do you trust me?”
Apprehension slid down my spine, cold and slimy. Just hours ago, I believed I could.
But now, I didn’t know him. Not truly.
His eyes bored into mine in a way that felt as though he reached into my very soul to read its contents. “What does your heart tell you?”
“I stopped listening to it a long time ago. My heart tells me nothing.”
Kodhan wrapped a hand around my wrist and tugged me to his chest. “Liar.”
Fire erupted. Not a single tree in the surrounding area was spared, bright orange flames licking down every trunk and root until scorching heat stuffed itself down my throat.
His fingers pressed into the flat part of my wrist, and he bent down to whisper along the shell of my ear.
“We are standing in the middle of a burning forest. You have no means to escape.” Embers flickered over his shoulder in emphasis.
“But your heart beats steadily. No jumps or stutters. You are not afraid, little viper.” Despite the heat, I shivered as his breath fanned the length of my throat.
Fought against the wobble in my knees while his lips ghosted over the spot right below my ear, near the column of my jaw. “You know I would never hurt you.”
“You were our mission,” Theia said. “Let this next one be yours. Come with us. Take back what is rightfully yours.”
“It’s been an age since I’ve felt blood on my wings.” Brannon’s long, spiked tale lashed out, nearly missing a burning tree. “And I quite miss the taste of vengeance.”
Kodhan’s voice filled my head next. Though it felt different, clearer.
Like we stood in a room with four doors and he’d nailed all of them shut except for one.
“I told you once that I will always find you. And I meant it. There is no place for me other than by your side. The stars themselves could devour the world we walk on, and it wouldn’t matter.
I know we will be together in the next. In every timeline, in every life, I am yours. ”
A single breath shuddered through me at that. My soul trembled with it.
“I swear, I will not fail you again,” he said out loud. His oath wound around my heart and branded itself there.
The choice was mine.
I could return to Aedreath—the kingdom of lies—powerless still, save for a few measly shadows most would mock or claim as a bad omen from the gods.
Maverick was a smart man. He must’ve already had countless doubts.
If Kodhan spoke the truth, and I returned in my current state, he would easily link me back to them. To that goddess.
What lay between us would not save me from his wrath, not anymore.
Not if his devotion was already placed somewhere else. With someone else. And had been for hundreds of years.
Not if what lay between us was nothing but a means to an end.
Or I could follow my allies.
Those who’d fought alongside me. Secrets or not, they risked their lives so that I could complete all three Starlight Trials and cross the Veil. The proof of it already lay in the moment Theia pushed me from that watchtower.
I could seek the truth they claim. The magic I’d desperately hoped for. Without the weight of a crown.
“I’ll go with you.”
Kodhan’s brows lifted with hope.
“On one condition.”
“Anything. Name it, and it is yours.”
“I want to go back to Aedreath.”
Protests bounced simultaneously between my temples and across the trees. I held up a hand, silencing both words and growls alike.
“Explain the rest. The whole truth. And help me get my supposed magic back. What is rightfully mine. Teach me to wield it, to hone it better than any blade or weapon. Only then do I want to go back.”
I spun in a slow demi-circle, ensuring to meet each of their gazes. Blazing fury and stony determination stared back. Mirroring what boiled in my blood.
“I want to end every last person responsible for who did this to me.”
“Maverick will never allow us to run rampant around his kingdom. He will fight back,” Theia warned.
“Then we bring him to his knees. And raze his kingdom to the ground.”