twenty-four
M addy wished she could say that she was handling the whole situation with Nate with the calmness and composure a woman of her age, with some relationships under her belt, would usually possess.
She had no such thing.
No calmness. No composure.
If the flutters in her stomach had been butterflies that had evolved into pterodactyls before, now they were pterodactyls doing cartwheels in the air.
Hearing Nate calling her his girl had almost melted her into a puddle on the floor. The only reason she hadn’t, was because half her weight was supported by the wall and the other half by Nate’s hands.
Fuck.
She was so out of her depth here. She was a jumble of thoughts and feelings.
Except she didn’t want to think. She wanted to let herself feel this want and this pull, this insane excitement and intensity that cut her knees from under her.
She wanted Nate’s warm hands on her, touching her, keeping her close.
His dark eyes focused on her, taking in every little change in her breathing, every bite of her used lip.
His sharp mind, teasing her, indulging her, keeping her on her toes. She wanted it all.
Realizing they couldn’t just stay against the wall of her room indefinitely—they did have a shrewd grandma waiting for them in the living room—they exchanged a look before pulling away.
Maddy took a few deep breaths to steady herself, and Nate did the same.
With one last glance and a shared smile, they headed out to rejoin Nonna.
They found her in the same spot they’d left her, seemingly engrossed in the quiz show, trying to answer questions correctly. As if she didn’t have her antennas raised for any sign of things out of place. Maddy looked at her with undisguised fondness.
The rest of the evening passed in comfortable silence, relaxed conversation and relentless attempts to ply Nate with even more food.
Insisting that he was full and couldn’t possibly eat more, Maddy decided to prepare a small box for him full of all her favorite candy that her grandma had brought when she’d arrived, and made him promise by the door to try every single one of them and tell her which one he liked best.
To which Nate responded that he would, murmuring his thanks while his arm pulled her to him gently, his other hand moving to her nape, brushing her pulse point.
Maddy mock-glared at him because he knew what he was doing, making her all flustered.
The villain. He chuckled before stepping back and heading towards his car to drive away.
Shutting the door behind him, Maddy found her grandma in the kitchen putting away some last few things. She turned to look at her when she heard her approach.
Maddy sighed. “Okay, out with it.”
“Cara mia, that man is as just a friend to you, as espresso is just a coffee to the Italians.”
If Maddy’s heart sped up at hearing that, that was for her, and only her, to know.
***
Maddy : What’s your take on ice-skating?
Nate : Am I supposed to have a take?
Maddy : Yes
Maddy : Aren’t you an athlete?
Nate : Of basketball
Nate : Last I checked
Nate : Might be wrong though
Maddy : Har har
Maddy : Sarcasm doesn’t become you.
Nate : Aren’t you the one stereotyping jocks again?
Maddy : Am not!
Maddy : I just thought athletic people were athletic all around.
Maddy : Sooo?
Nate : Fine
Nate : I’ve been to a few times with friends for fun.
Maddy : And was it fun?
Nate : I guess
Nate : when you stop falling on your ass
Maddy : Huh
Nate : Mads?
Maddy : Yeah?
Nate : Is that your roundabout way of asking me to go ice-skating?
Maddy : Maybe?
Nate : :)
Nate : Are you sure you’ll be okay with the cold?
Maddy : How cold can it be?
Nate : It’s literally skating on ice
Maddy : * sigh *
Maddy : I know.
Maddy : Just trying to fake it till I make it.
Nate : You’re ridiculous.
Maddy : Thank you.
Maddy : So
Maddy : Ice-skating?
Nate : Name the day.
***
The outdoor skating rink was a thing of beauty. A dangerous kind of beauty, considering she would soon have to balance on thin blades and miraculously glide on the ice, but a beauty nonetheless.
Maddy had always wanted to go when she’d been in high school. It must have been so much fun, friends all gathering together, laughing at one another while trying to stay upright. Afterwards, grabbing some fast food or sweet snacks from the stands and shops all around the ice-skating rink.
Now the sun had already set by the time Maddy and Nate arrived.
Nate had told her to dress warm and comfortably.
As if she hadn’t already planned to do that.
The only problem had been to fit ‘cute’ into that description as well.
Dressing cute in winter was not an easy feat.
She’d given up after quite some time of her going through her wardrobe.
She didn’t know why she’d even bothered.
It’s not like cute, winter clothes would magically appear of their own accord.
She didn’t even know if they existed in the first place.
She’d finally settled on the thickest pair of leggings she owned that were fleece-lined inside and would probably spare her the embarrassment of her teeth chattering from the cold within the first ten minutes.
She’d paired those off with a long, dark red cable-knit sweater, the warmest coat she owned, and of course soft gloves to keep her hands from falling off.
She was actually satisfied with the result, and the cuteness to warmth ratio wasn’t half-bad either.
Next to her, Nate looked like something close to a god. Like an understated sort of god. Like one of those gods that didn’t really have to try too hard, and that made casual clothing look like fashion.
Maddy hated him a little for that.
“Is there something you want to tell me?”
Busted.
Maddy caught Nate’s amused gaze and narrowed her eyes even further.
“No, not really.”
Nate hummed. “Are you sure? Because you look like you have something to say.”
Maddy could feel Nate sidling up closer to her, some of his body heat passing over to her.
“It’s nothing,” she mumbled, turning to peep at him from above her glasses. “It’s just that you look really nice.” She almost averted her gaze but she was slowly getting addicted to the lingering intensity of Nate’s looks.
And she wasn’t disappointed. Nate’s eyes grew liquid as he snaked his arm around her waist, tightening it until she was almost flush against him, his eyes never leaving hers.
“Thank you, Mads.” His words brushed the shell of her ear, making her shiver. Wearing her hair up in a long ponytail had paid off. “And you look positively edible.”
Maddy choked.
She shook her head to dispel the tingling feeling that was spreading through her whole body.
She failed. Terribly.
“You can’t say shit like that to me,” she scowled, already feeling the blush creeping up her neck and cheeks. “I’m already liable to fall and break a limb.”
Nate chuckled darkly. “Sorry.”
He wasn’t sorry at all.
“But thank you,” Maddy said softly.
“My pleasure,” he said.
And she believed him.
After that, they took their time to walk around and enjoy the festive decorations, the string lights that covered every spare surface of the area, the laughing families and bundles of friends joking around.
Maddy could only watch it all with wide eyes and a happy smile, and let herself be swept up by the jolly atmosphere, flurries of chilly air stinging her skin, and Nate’s hand in hers pulling her towards the midst of it all.
So, it wasn’t completely unexpected when something had to happen to spoil her good mood.
“Madison?” a voice she hadn’t heard in years sounded behind her, halting her steps.
Nate turned to look at her quizzically but Maddy took a few seconds to compose herself and take a deep breath before turning around and coming face to face with the somewhat-surprised expressions of her former group of friends. Friends in the vaguest sense of the word.
Maddy had met Alexis and Grace in middle school and they had been friends for the duration of those years before going to different high schools.
Original high school Maddy had attempted to keep in touch even after heading to different schools and losing the everyday contact.
This Maddy now knew better. Because it had taken her years to reflect on those days and finally get to the point where she knew better.
Her former friends had not been bad people.
But they had been one of those people who thrived in veiled insults.
Who pretended to know what her own good looked like better than she herself did.
Who slowly chipped away at a painfully built personality and individuality until that person was left either completely ashamed of everything that made them different, or completely invisible.
Okay, maybe they were bad people after all.
They must have been taken aback by the cold expression on her face. Maddy had always been far too mellow and far more accommodating than was good for her. Never making waves.
Well, fuck that.
That’s what re-dos were for.
“What’s up?” her voice sounded politely stiff even in her own ears. Good.
“Um...” they both looked at each other, clearly not knowing what to make of the situation.
Alexis was the one who decided to step forward. She had always been a sort of ringleader. Everyone else, including Grace, usually followed her lead.
“Well, we haven’t heard from you in a while.
We just assumed you would be cooped up with your cute, little hobbies.
” Her eyes raked over Nate on Maddy’s right, still holding her hand, squeezing it subtly in support.
Nate hadn’t said a word yet but he wasn’t stupid.
He could easily see the tension in her body.
Body language didn’t lie. She was immensely grateful that he was standing there, next to her, in silent camaraderie.