thirty-nine
T he quiet rustle of sheets was what woke Maddy up. Then came the slow realization that these weren’t her sheets or her bed for that matter.
And that there was the warm body of a man wrapped around her, holding her close with a hand splayed on her belly. He peppered soft kisses on her nape and she shivered from the sensation.
“Call in sick,” Nate mumbled against her skin in a sleep-thickened voice.
Maddy looked over her shoulder to peer at him in the soft, morning light. As expected, he looked devastating even rumpled from sleep.
“You are a very bad influence, you know.”
“Oh, I know. So call in sick. Stay with me today.”
God, was she tempted. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d woken feeling so calm and happy. She never wanted to leave this bed.
“I’ll make you breakfast.”
Okay, maybe she could be persuaded to leave the bed for the right motivation.
She had already half-made her decision when Nate’s hand slipped under the shirt she had confiscated and started stroking her front in lazy, unhurried caresses that made her heartbeat speed up like crazy.
“What’s the matter, Mads?” he whispered against her neck, his breath doing nothing to alleviate the situation. “Why is your heart beating so fast?”
He was fucking teasing her, this absolute devil of a man. And damn if she didn’t love it.
Nate moved his hand up, and up, until he was grazing her nipple, pinching it slightly and then soothing the sting with light brushes of his fingers. She wasn’t even aware of the sounds she was making or the way her body was moving under his ministrations until he heard Nate groan against her neck.
“Is this what my girl wants?” he whispered in a low, hoarse voice that no longer had anything to do with sleep.
“Tell me, Maddy, if I slide my hand down your body, will I find you dripping for me?” He punctuated his words by doing exactly what he’d said, his hand descending between her legs.
“Open your thighs. Let me feel for myself.” She obeyed his quiet, gentle commands, leaving herself completely at his mercy.
“Oh fuck, Maddy.” He sounded as tortured as she was, as his fingers dipped inside her.
He, then, turned her slightly towards him so he was partly holding himself above her.
“Look at you, Mads. You are so beautiful like this,” he said as his fingers began fucking her in earnest, the heel of his palm rubbing against her clit in a maddening rhythm for several agonizing moments. God, he was ruining her. “You’re already close, aren’t you? I can feel it.”
She let out a sound that was half-moan, half-whimper.
“Tell me, Mads.”
“ Y–yes ,” she choked out.
Nate lowered himself over her further until all he could see was him.
“Then give it to me, Maddy.” His words were almost a plea. “I want it all. Your sounds, and your pleasure, and you, all of you.” He curved his fingers inside her and she came violently around them in a silent scream, warmth flooding her everywhere until she was completely lost.
She didn’t know how she’d managed to hold Nate’s gaze through it all. But it felt as easy as breathing to reach up and tug his head down for a lingering, soul-sucking kiss that was in such contrast to the raging emotions that were making her heart stutter.
“Call in sick,” Nate said with the playful smile she loved.
She made a spectacle of sighing dramatically. “Okay.”
He nipped her bottom lip before he disentangled himself from her, rising from the bed in just a pair of boxers.
It was a good thing she hadn’t put her glasses back on or she would have probably drooled all over his pillowcase.
“Okay, confession time: I didn’t plan this far ahead, so I only have coffee, which I know you don’t drink.
” She could see his sheepish expression now that her vision was restored.
“Are you going to be okay alone for a bit while I head out to grab some things for breakfast?” he asked as he rummaged in his closet for some sweats and a hoodie.
“Sure. The view is hella fine from here.”
He was chuckling as he approached the bed to give her a kiss that was supposed to be short and sweet but ended up with making him tighten his hand in her hair.
“Fuck, I’ll never leave if I don’t go now,” he mumbled against her lips. “Make yourself at home,” he grinned, before he headed out, leaving the room and Maddy still on his bed, smelling like him and wondering how could all this not be a dream.
***
Maddy called in sick. Not that she’d needed too much convincing to do it.
She also texted Stacie to let her know she wouldn’t be in, to which her friend replied:
Stacie : Oh, I know that
Stacie : and I also know you’re not sick, you filthy liar
Stacie : You’re still with Nate, aren’t you?
Stacie : TELL ME EVERYTHING
And Maddy would have loved to chat with her but she had more pressing matters, i.e. take a quick shower while Nate was gone.
Thankfully, it was an easy shower to navigate and she also found clean towels under the sink. Twenty minutes later, she felt like a new person. The hot water had felt heavenly, and the giant hoodie she’d borrowed from Nate felt like being smothered by a cloud.
The clanking noises coming from the kitchen told her that Nate was already back. Smiling, she exited the bathroom and found him putting away a few things from a plastic bag.
“So, you know what I was thinking while I was in the shower?”
Hearing her voice and the soft footsteps of her bare feet, Nate turned to glance over his shoulder before he did a double-take. The way he scanned her from top to bottom unleashed some serious flutters in her stomach.
“Something good I hope,” he said, a hint of barely banked heat in his eyes.
“Well, I was thinking that we never got to see the movie yesterday.”
His frown was cute as hell.
“ That’s what you were thinking in the shower? Should I be insulted?”
No, that wasn’t what she’d really been thinking. Her mind had mostly wandered to the aches in her body that made her feel deliciously used, but she couldn’t resist teasing him.
“Okay, maybe it was more like a passing thought.” She’d now moved closer to him, leaning on one shoulder against the fridge.
He mirrored her position, leaning against the counter.
“What else were you thinking about?”
“How I can still feel you everywhere.”
Nate’s eyes darkened as his hand shot out and snaked around her waist pulling him against his front. He nuzzled her temple and she heard him inhaling deeply.
“Fuck, you even smell like my shampoo. Are you on a mission to never let us leave the flat and never actually eat on time? Because I’m on board with that.”
Maddy chuckled, but before she could answer, Nate’s phone pinged with a message from close by.
“Remind me why I still haven’t thrown my phone out of the window,” Nate grumbled.
She was laughing as she grabbed it for him and then started heading towards the couch.
“It’s from work. I’m supposed to be on call in case they need me,” he mumbled, swiping at the screen. “I’ll start with breakfast while I play the voice message.”
Well, at least she wasn’t the only one being a bad employee today.
“Hey, Keaton! I’m just dropping in to say congratulations on the big promotion, man! I didn’t know you’d been aiming at that hot-shot position!”
Maddy’s steps slowly drew to a halt as she registered what the nasal voice on the phone was saying.
Had Nate gotten a promotion? That was fantastic!
He should have told her so they could have celebrated!
She turned to tell him as such, but instead she found him frozen, staring at the phone.
“ You’re the best guy we have! The hotshots at the NYC offices will be lucky to have you. Try not to be a stranger, okay? Anyway, best of luck and see you around!”
Maddy’s heart stuttered at those words. She felt like she couldn’t move, like one step would make her shutter like glass.
Was he leaving?
But.
How was this possible?
Maddy didn’t know at what point in the message she’d turned partially away from that voice. Was it the moment her ears had started ringing, or maybe when her heartbeat had gotten so loud she thought it’d drown out everything around her?
Or maybe it was when the message ended and she somehow felt the urgent need to shield herself from its words, as if they had been knives aimed at her and her heavy heart.
The heart that always strived to believe that happiness was there to stay.
That it wasn’t a fleeting dream but a reality she could see, and touch, and taste.
She could have laughed if her chest hadn’t felt so hollow.
***
What. The. Fuck.
What the hell had that been?
Since when were people congratulating him on something that wasn’t even true?
Yes, Nate had pursued the promotion, thinking it would be a change of pace for his career.
And yes, he had received an official offer to transfer to New York.
But he’d turned it down. He was perfectly happy with his life. He lived closer to his mom and his brother, he had his friends one text away, and he had…Maddy.
Everything inside him came to a screeching halt. He swiveled his head towards Maddy and found her in the same spot as a few minutes ago.
She wasn’t moving, she was just standing there. He wasn’t even sure she was breathing.
When she lifted her eyes to meet his, Nate realized he had never felt such dread before in his life. The hurt shining in her beautiful hazel eyes was enough to make him shrivel inside.
He knew what she must be thinking. It was obvious from the way she was staring at him from across the room, eyes filled with betrayal.
The way she glanced briefly towards the door snapped him out of his stupor.
“Maddy, no,” he said, his sense of terror bleeding into his voice.
But she was already shaking her head.
“I have to leave,” she uttered in a voice so quiet, his heart squeezed in painful grip.
No. If he let her leave now, Nate knew that he would probably never see her again.
Maddy started heading towards where her bag and jacket hung next to the door but Nate was faster.
He went after her and caught her arm before she could make one more step away from him.
“Maddy, wait!” She didn’t even put up any resistance, she merely stopped.
“Is this a joke to you?” Her question was barely a whisper.
It felt as if she had slapped him.
“What?”
She, then, turned to face him, leveling her gaze against him, staring him dead in the eye.
“Is this all a joke to you? Did you come back to me only to leave again? You tied your loose end and now you’re free to move on, is that what this is?” Her voice broke at the end of her question.
Enough. Nate had let this go on long enough.
He released Maddy’s hand but not before he’d tugged her closer, his hands lifting to tangle in her hair and cradle her face.
“Is that what you think about me?”
She looked at him for a few endless seconds before shaking her head in resignation.
Nate felt a small spark of hope in his chest.
“Good. Now I want you to listen to me very carefully. Can you do that for me?” he asked, his eyes never wavering from hers.
Maddy hesitated for a bit but nodded.
“It’s true that I had requested to be considered for a higher position that would mean my transfer to our central offices.
But this was all before the day of the accident, the day that changed everything.
” He needed to make her understand. “The day I remembered everything, I declined the position. I have no idea how there are different news circulating the office but I’m telling you the truth.
” He couldn’t help the pleading tone in his voice.
“Please, tell me you believe me, Mads. The only way I’m leaving you is if you kick me out of your life yourself. ”
Maddy made a hiccupping sound like choked-up laughter, and Nate felt like he could go limp with relief.
It was all he could do to lower himself enough to pick her up by her thighs and use her momentary surprise to scoop her up and carry her towards the couch, where he sat, with her on his lap and in his arms.
“Where would I even go, Mads? We have vampire books to read, and depressing music to listen to, and a lot of chocolate to drink,” he said, brushing her face softly.
“You’re my point of reference. Wherever you go, I follow.
” That was all he could tell her without scaring her for now.
Because there was nothing easy or simple about the way he felt for her.
It was something debilitating in its intensity, hard and unyielding.
But eventually he would show her that he meant everything he said.
“I’m so sorry, Nate. I feel so stupid for overreacting,” she muttered in a small voice.
“You didn’t. Anyone would have thought what you did and they would have been right to do so.” He tipped up her jaw to meet her eyes once again. “I’m crazy about you, Mads. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
The grin she aimed his way felt like warm sunshine.
“Well, that’s good to hear, Nate, because I hate to break it to you but you’re stuck with me, too,” she said before adding in a softer tone that made his body hard and his heart liquid, “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
He sucked in a breath.
“Take the week off.”
She laughed so hard, her eyes were squinting.
“What the hell is your problem with my job?”
“My problem with your job is that it interferes with my plan of keeping you here.”
“You’re right. Might as well make the most out of it.”
He gave her no warning before he hoisted her over his shoulder. She yelped in surprise but was still laughing as she pounded his back.
“What about breakfast?”
“Don’t worry. It will still be there later.”
Much, much later, if he had anything to say about it.