Chapter 40 #2
“Whose secret is that?” I pull back and give him a mock glare that he chases away with a hundred or so butterfly kisses over my eyes.
“We share everything.”
“Tell me more,” I say, settling down, hoping to lull him into resting.
“About Ty?”
I nip his shoulder and he chuckles, blowing more of his sweet sage air on my face, making me giddy again. It’s obnoxiously potent today.
“The four of us grew up together. Ronin’s parents all but adopted Ty and me after our parents decided life would be better without twin boys to look after.
Good riddance, I say. I’d still punch my father, given half the chance, but what would I say to my mother?
Anyway, I have moved on, I promise. Paddy and Jeanie were the parents we should have had.
They treated us like theirs. But, see, there’s only been male Alphas in their world, so it’s all we knew.
Growing up, we did everything as if we were going to emerge as Alphas, learned the way of the world like that.
Ronin and Keegan designated early, but Ty and I took forever.
We were both assertive, dominant, and strong.
All the signs that we’d be Alphas were there.
Then one day our lives flipped upside down.
I was so fucking angry for Ty, and for me, but mainly for Ty.
It was learned behavior, not natural instincts we were dealing with. ”
“I’m sorry,” I murmur, my hands needing to move as a way to comfort him through his sharing.
Nuzzling against my throat, he takes a big inhale before continuing.
“Oh, it gets even better. I woke up in a cold sweat, and when Ronin and Keegan walked in the room, their scents were like a punch in the guts. I went from being straight to something else entirely in five seconds flat. They did, too, and while it should have been a fun time where we experimented, it was a time I hated being alive. I couldn’t stand how much I needed them, I couldn’t deal with pushing them away.
I felt everything differently, when I’d only ever known what it was like to be an Alpha.
Jeanie helped, and Paddy smacked sense into me when I started making bad decisions. ”
“Like smacked you?”
Rafferty’s laughter spills from his chest. “Yeah. But I needed it. I was being a complete eejit and blinded to BS that wasn’t happening anywhere except in my head. What about you, Tally bear, did you know that first moment we were your pack?”
“Enough talk about me, Rafferty.”
“Never enough talk about you, Tally. I know, the same way I knew Ronin and Keegan were my Alphas, that you are ours too. And, one day, I’ll understand why you’re fighting against it as hard as I did back then.
From experience, I have to tell you, whatever the reason, it won’t change the way we’re each other’s missing piece. ”
“And Ty?”
“I know my brother. And I know exactly what he’s waiting for. You ask him to, and he’ll fall and always keep falling. He won’t push you. He’s not like that, but that’s his secret, not mine.”
Rafferty’s voice is starting to slowly but surely drop away. It’s a heat thing, where your body is preparing you for what’s coming by preserving energy. It’s not something you can control; it’s a built-in survival mechanism.
“Rest, Rafferty. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“Vow it,” he demands, pouting.
I reach up and kiss him gently. “There. It’s vowed.”
“Can we get matching tattoos?”
“Of course,” I say, pressing my lips to his before letting him rest.
He smiles, like my presence bring him physical relief, which, again, is such an Omega thing. And then his eyes start to close, and I don’t chase any more conversation, instead spoiling him with touches and tickles, letting him rest in a comfort-filled space.
Rafferty’s eyes continue to droop further down until they shut.
I keep my hands moving, but I also pull a blanket up, finishing my snuggles with a head massage through his heavenly sun-kissed blond hair.
My fingers ache as I keep dragging them through his hair, but I don’t want to stop, even as I extract myself from his arms and sit up.
“He’s asleep,” Tynan says, only loud enough to hear because he speaks with his lips against my ear.
I knew he sat down near us a little while ago. His presence and scent are as obvious as an Alpha’s, impossible to ignore. Though it could just be that the connection we share seems to intensify every time we see each other. Or I think of him. Or I hear his name.
Carefully turning my back to Rafferty, I bring my eyes up to Tynan. Rafferty’s words from only a few moments ago whisper incessantly through my thoughts. Raff’s right about his brother being ready to give everything, I know because the same sentiment echoes over every inch of my soul.
“I shouldn’t have come. For some reason, I can’t say no to your brother.”
Tynan’s lips lift into a smile, as subtle as his scent, but for him, it’s a big gesture. “He has that effect on a few people.”
“Tynan, he should come with a warning label.”
He stands, nodding for me to follow. And while it’s obvious he’s keeping space between us, it’s also clear we’ve mixed up what kind of space we’re in. It’s all a bit of a mess, really.
“You’re okay, then?” he asks as he goes back to what he was doing before I arrived, which, by the looks of it, is getting things ready for Rafferty’s heat.
The island we’re separated by has neat stacks lined up in a row. Some of it, I think, is more for Tynan, but the rest is definitely for Rafferty. Either way, it’s different than how I do my heats. The snacks, brushes and combs, lotions and creams and loads of linen look like pure indulgence.
“Tally.” Tynan calls my name, and I realize I got distracted again by the endless assumptions between us. All of them are mine.
“Yes, I’m fine. Honestly. It’s just a reminder of the choices we’re all capable of making. I mean, there’s no right or wrong way to live, is there?”
His head tips, and it’s obvious he doesn’t agree.
“What?” I push to hear what he has to say.
“You’re right. There isn’t one way of doing this that’s better than the other, but most certainly, I think there are a lot of positives to having a pack.”
I interrupt him, shaking my head. “We’ve talked about this.”
“Aye, in a roundabout way, I guess we have. But you keep saying you haven’t done pack life, so I’m garnering my experiences to highlight things for you to consider.
I’m not pushing you for a decision, am I?
And I never would. But what if by me sharing my point of view, something suddenly allows everything to finally slip into place for you? ”
I hold his gaze. Unlike an Alpha’s, there’s no insistence. There's a lot of encouragement, though it’s delivered without the sting of expectation, making what he says that much easier to listen to.
From behind me, I get enveloped in a scorching sage scented stranglehold that doesn’t scare me. For the moment. Later, I’m sure I’ll start mixing up my logical and emotional side again.