Chapter 61
Chapter Sixty-One
TALLY
H arris’s face pops into view. I heard him asking me the first time. I knew he was hovering, waiting for a response. He knew I was ignoring him, which is why he’s in front of me, making it impossible for me to pretend he’s not talking to me. “Did you want to get the door for Joe?”
It’s a loaded question, and one I can’t figure out the answer to.
Getting up from my seat by the fire, I walk past him, still not sure how to answer. I don’t stop shuffling until I’m at my bedroom door. Without turning around, I ask, “Did you know?”
“Of course.” He answers decisively, without any time passing. “My only job is to keep you safe.”
I shut the door and lock it, climbing into bed, closing my eyes and breathing through the fact it’s not just Joe waiting to come inside.
I’m torn, getting pulled in all directions by my emotions, and the voices in my head, and the longing in each strand of my DNA.
It’s exhausting, and instead of packing my bags and begging Harris to get me out of here, the last of my reserves completely drain away.
For the first time in a long time, there’s no frantic buzz on my skin, no endless chatter inside, filling my thoughts. Just a deep nothing that swallows me whole.
TYNAN
It’s not that I don’t respect Tally’s decision or understand her need to deal with our arrival her way. I simply can’t be away from her for a second longer.
Perhaps it was the look in my eye, but the UK Protected Persons Service officer who’s been caring for my wife handed over the key to her door without too much trouble.
I don’t count his wordy threat of a slow, painful death if I hurt her.
Shit, I’d throw myself to the wolves if anything I did brought her pain.
Worry coats my skin, though. Jesus, I question if I read her right back home, argue there’s no doubt I did. As soon as I open the door, I know I’m where I’m meant to be.
Leaving the key in the lock, as a token gesture, but firmly shutting the door, I think I take the first breath without feeling like I’m suffocating in eighty-seven days.
She’s in a cocoon of blankets, facing away from the door, and I’m kneeling in front of her, my fingers on her face without realizing I’ve taken a step.
But that’s how things are with us, and I need to trust myself more when it comes to our bond.
She doesn’t flinch or move a muscle as I run my fingers over her face.
The deep, dark bags under her eyes are hard to stomach because they’re a reminder of her struggle, but they don’t detract from her stunning beauty.
Her scent is off, but we’d known it would be since Tally’s been on a course of hardcore Omega suppressants since the hospital.
Her choice. And I back her decision entirely, but I fucking ache for her scent.
Pressing my lips to her forehead, I freeze on the spot when she takes a shaky exhale before her breathing deepens in the next inhale.
Moving slowly, I extract her hand from under her pillow, guiding her arm closer to where I’ll be sitting.
Once I park my arse on the floor, I interlace our fingers and rest in the peace of her touch.
It’s enough, her hand in mine, but that doesn’t stop me from pressing the back of her hand to my lips, keeping them there as I lean back against the mattress and shut my eyes.
Without question, I’m absolutely fucking relieved and elated to be given the chance again to be in Tally’s world. Completely fucking exhausted by the struggles I’ve faced, while also knowing she’s battling more than all our trauma put together.
RONIN
Tynan disappeared within minutes of us walking up the stairs. Since then, I’ve checked over every inch of her space, making sure we’re as safe and protected as can be. Along the way, I’ve touched over every item she has lying around and questioned once again, if we’re doing the right thing.
I know we are. I fucking do. But at the same time, I’ve been in a similar spot as her, so I understand how fucking twisted a person’s mind can get.
After Noinin got taken, I came close to topping myself more times than I can count.
Dealing with the endless guilt, knowing I was the last to see her, her final line of defense.
And when my baby sister needed me the most, I wasn’t there.
It’s a fucking bitter, broken glass-covered pill I’m forced to swallow daily.
Which is why I also know, from past experience, being surrounded by people who love you with every fucking fiber of their being is an important step in surviving.
Sitting on a chair that Tally has obviously spent a lot of time in, I call home. Jeanie answers on the first ring. “You made it, then? She’s okay?”
“We made it. We’ve just arrived, and she’s having a lie down.”
The small confirmation we’re talking about Tally girl is a big moment between us.
I, along with my pack, am dealing with a lot of fucking resentment still when it comes to my parents.
It makes the time we’re together uncomfortable, and incredibly difficult, but it’s not the first time the O’Connors have dealt with the rippling effects of tragedy.
I sure feckin’ pray it’s the last time, though.
I sat by Paddy and Jeanie’s bedside for as long as could, or at least until the doctors confirmed they’d both survive.
By sheer luck, and an incredible surgical team, the injuries they suffered were stitched back together.
Jeanie recovered fast, while Paddy was put in a medically induced coma.
He’ll never be the same physically or mentally, and I can’t help but sometimes think that’s his penance for being such a stubborn fucker.
In my silence, Ma starts talking again. “Everything’s under control. You stay as long as you need. Maeve is doing a grand job. She’s a natural.”
Jeanie’s touching on lots of sore points in our catchup.
But maybe it’s time too. Her comment about Maeve acting for me as head of the Irish would be a hard thing for Jeanie to admit, considering my parents have only ever seen at me for that role.
I knew from the day Maeve was born that she had everything needed to run the Irish as well as I could, which is why I asked her.
“Right, then. Will you let Maeve know to give me a call?”
“Aye.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to keep the bitterness from my voice. “And Paddy, how’s he doing?”
“He’s a’right, Ronin. I’ll let him know you rang too.”
“Right, then.”
“Love you, son.”
“I know.”
Jeanie hangs up before I do. Keegan’s hand on my shoulder is a show of his support. He knows how much of a struggle it is, how much effort being their son takes.
Joe’s careful not to be intruding when it comes to me doing my job, considering his.
Weirdly, once we got over the fact there’s nothing we wouldn’t do when it came to his adopted-in-spirit daughter—escape any fucking prison he looked at putting us in, or fight every goddamn charge leveled our way, or killing any person who’d even look sideways at our wife, him included—we came to a stilted gentleman’s agreement.
I find him downstairs, talking with Harris.
All the careful preparation I went through before calling home was only so I had the grace to do this.
It’s a might hard not ripping both these Alphas to pieces with my bare hands.
The need to remove them from anywhere near my darling wife is growing stronger with each second that passes.
And it only hasn’t happened because of her.
“I appreciate you giving us space,” I say, looking at them. I’m not ashamed of how I feel obsessively protective of my pack. No damn way. I’m also not apologetic for being less than friendly or inviting.
Joe, well, Joe’s got the advantage of being family, so he can look me in the eye despite the level of aggression I’m throwing his way. Harris barely manages to look my way for a few seconds before his eyes drop and his hands lift in surrender.
Logically, I know Harris has done nothing but protect my wife since the moment he was assigned her case. But this isn’t about logic; this is about me trying to shield my wife from the fucking world. Whether it’s warranted or not.
Some people say once an Alpha takes his Omega as his, things settle down, but I know from experience, my need to protect Tally, and Rafferty, is going to cause issues. It’s a tomorrow problem, though. Like the Russian’s are.
“I’m going in to see Tally now. So I need you staying down here until one of us gives you the all clear.”
Joe goes to say something, and as if to prove my point, in the next blink and without cognizant thought on my part, Harris has a gun pointed my direction while I’m pressing my finger into Joe’s forehead. My fingers around his throat ache to squeeze the life from him.
“I’d never fucking hurt her, so don’t you even think it.”
I was playing nice until they stepped over a line. I’m not one hundred percent where the line was, but I feel good knowing we’ve addressed the elephant in the room.
“Stay fucking down here,” I bark over my shoulder before storming back up the stairs.
I wanted to go in quietly, but I’m pretty sure I just woke the dead with how loud I roared.
TALLY
Ronin’s hand is buried in my hair, the steady beat of his heart the only thing I can hear. Each long, slow breath he takes in his sleep adds to the cloud of scent I’m in.
Waking up is disorientating. I’m lying across the bed, not in the same spot I was when I fell asleep.
Tynan’s hand is in mine, and Ronin is covering me with his body, becoming the only blanket I need.
It’s easy to admit, I feel like I’m a part of the world again, as opposed to having been existing in a different dimension.
Tynan twists around, quickly finding me awake. I always knew we shared a deep connection, and him waking the same time as me today is a necessary reminder.
He stares at me, holding nothing back. I essentially get a rundown on everything he’s gone through, without the need for words.
And once he’s done sharing, he leans over, giving me plenty of time to push him away.
Him resting his forehead on mine is like finding a piece of me again.
Blowing out a slow breath to buffer the enormity of our reunion, Ty ghosts his lips over my skin before he goes into the bathroom.
The shower starts up, and it’s not in invitation. Ty is showing me he’s not going anywhere, but he’s also getting himself ready for what’s coming ahead, looking after me.
Rolling over to face Ronin, who’s still in a deep sleep, I have an insatiable urge to run my fingers over his face, and my hand rises without too much thought. Before I can actually feel his skin on mine, Ronin drops into a nightmare.
I feel his muscles contracting as something in his mind takes hold. His jaw squares as he gnashes his teeth, and a tortured groan blows his fear right into my face.
“Ro,” I call out softly, my hand cupping his face.
He shakes against my hold. My touch doesn’t bring comfort to reach through wherever his mind has taken him hostage. Sitting up, I roll him onto his back, settling myself over his chest. “Ronin. Ro! Ronin. Wake up.”
His scent hollows out, and I curse myself for taking suppressants. Maybe if he scented me, it would have been the thing to help drag him free.
My heart is racing so hard it hurts as it thuds against my chest. I panic, unsure if I should call out or race in to tell Tynan something is wrong with Ronin.
I get caught watching unseen horror race over Ronin’s closed eyes in his REM state.
It looks like his nightmare is getting worse.
His lips flatten into an unyielding line, telling of the pain he’s trying to fight off.
His shoulders lock down like he’s suffering through something or trying desperately to escape.
I act impulsively and press my lips to his.
His mouth is cool to the touch, and his lips are hard like stone. I can feel noises vibrating free of his chest. I start peppering his lips with kisses, licking and nipping at them until he does one god almighty body jerk and his eyes fly open.
I don’t move an inch.
I don’t really want to. But he’s also looking with eyes too predatory.
I feel like a baby rabbit in front of a hungry wolf.
My flight-or-fight instincts dull to stay-and-protect.
The color of his eyes is lost under his designation.
With each blink, I want to say Ronin comes back, but his Alpha’s presence is too noticeable.
He's carefulin how he moves, but he pulls me closer, exactly like a lion dragging their catch closer to devour. “You are mine, Tally girl.” His bark isn’t loud, but since his designation is riding him so hard, his Alpha intention makes up for the lack of volume.
His bark bounces around inside my head, gathering speed and intention like a bowling ball down a mountain. His influence pinballs everywhere inside my mind and soul, making all the parts of me that are dark and soaked in fear sit up and listen to his claim.
It’s beautifully simple.
And it’s violently true. I am Ronin’s.
My moment of avoidance and coming to terms with the possibility of one day living without ghosts haunting me, and pain constantly chasing me, coincides with Ronin snapping out of his primal Alpha state.
He’s instantly aware of how aggressive he’s being and how much he’s smothering me in his influence.
“Shite, Tally girl. Sorry, darling. Hang on.” He squeezes his eyes shut, cutting off our connection as he arches backwards to give me room to breathe. A place to break free of his dominance and choke hold.
I can literally feel him hurting himself. He’s fighting against his most natural, primal self. Exactly like I have been doing for months.
A handful of seconds together isn’t going to fix all my problems, but in this blip of time, I see our roles together with perfect clarity. The insight goes a long way, forcing light in the heart of darkness that’s been keeping me hostage.
I don’t want space between us. I need Ronin and everything he represents. As much as he needs me. I scuttle closer until I’m wrapped around him, clinging with a desperation I want to own.
We don’t talk, we don’t look at each other, but we start to fucking heal in each others arms.
And the magical, mystical workings of a pack mean that, within a handful of minutes, the other people, the other parts of me, I thought I’d lost forever end up wrapped around me too.