31. Queenie
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
QUEENIE
RECOMMENDED LISTENING ‘GUILTY AS SIN’ BY TAYLOR SWIFT
I drag my eyes away from Noah’s thunderous face. I wish he didn’t look so… handsome in his grey suit with the lavender shirt and a slim blue tie with lavender hearts. The steel grey emphasizes his tan, and the lavender softens the hard edges of his scruffy jaw.
He’s not even bothered to shave for the formal party. Although Noah is one of those men on whom evening stubble just works. Just like brooding devil-black eyes and flat lips.
It has to be my own implicit bias toward him which makes him so appealing to me. My brain has turned against me, making it hard to think logically around him.
Especially when he put one hot, possessive hand on my lower back and led me to the table.
Still, I didn’t get two minutes alone with the man after I went to all this effort to dress up for this important party for him .
In fact, a lesser woman would have been thoroughly devastated at his complete lack of non-response when he saw me. But Ares was so effusive in his compliments and Chachu grunted loudly at the table with a warning glare, so I know I looked alright.
I don’t need a cranky Australian’s compliments to feel good.
“So, how’s school, Queenie?” Padric asks me, refilling my wine glass. “I don’t think Rohit’s as proud of his own Leher as he is of you and your med school degree.”
I laugh and sip at the wine. It’s a Malbec, fruity and tart on the tongue. Goes perfectly with the garlic lobster. I wish I could enjoy it more. I know I would have if Noah was sitting next to me and whispering nonsense in my ear about the people at the table.
A lesser woman would be offended, he didn’t even put up a feeble protest when Chachu asked me to sit with him and the other coaches. But I’m not.
I fork a piece of lobster to prove my point and chew vigorously. Then I answer Padric. “Leher’s going to make all of us proud, I just know it,” I murmur. I deflect the comment Alastair made about me. And I do mean it.
Leher’s only sixteen but she’s already a mathlete, a computer whiz, and she plays two different instruments – the flute and the drums. Accomplished doesn’t begin to describe Chachu’s daughter, who is thick as thieves with Jo.
“What’s interesting to me, though,” Aiden Gilcrest begins speculatively. “Is how Dumaine convinced you to wear his jersey and cheer for him at his matches.”
“They’re dating,” Rohit Chachu growls. “She’s his girl.”
Aiden blinks. “I wasn’t aware of this development.”
“Yeah, yes.” I offer a weak smile. “Noah and I are together. I’m here as his date.” Even if my date can’t bear to look me in the fucking eye.
“I thought you came to visit us, Queenie.” Padric makes a wounded expression. “I’m gutted.”
I smile and shake my head. And flip my hair over my shoulder. Something hot skewers the air around me. I look around. Noah’s eyes drift slowly away from mine back to Ares.
He looks like an Asshole. All dark eyes and grim expression.
“I did, Uncle Paddy,” I say sweetly. “You’re my absolute favorite.” I even squeeze his arm.
Another hot thing skewers me. I look around again. Again, Noah looks pointedly at Ares. I’m sure he isn’t looking so intensely at me all the time. Because he doesn’t even care I’m here.
My heart pinches. I shake it off and talk to my uncle’s friends. Determined to enjoy myself.
I even do a decent job until Noah shoves off his chair and Ares has to drag him back down. Every instinct I possess urges me to go to him. Talk to him. He’s not well. He doesn’t look like the Noah’s who has been slowly and thoroughly romancing me the last two weeks.
Kissing me like he won’t stop. And then he does. Looking at me like I matter. His strokes so sinful I can’t stop the groans when he touches me. Anywhere. Bringing me daisies when he picks me up from the diner after a late shift. Eating every bit of the pie I bring home for him. Just for him.
And hugging me good night every night before sleeping on his side of the bed.
That’s the Noah I know. This Noah is…different. Edgy. Hard. Like he’d combust into a supernova if someone looked at him wrong.
Whatever Ares says works because he settles in his chair and talks to his other companion.
“Do your parents know about the Australian?” Rohit Chachu asks, interrupting my covert spying.
“I don’t report everything about my life to them, Chachu.”
“Then he doesn’t matter,” Chachu says sagely.
“I never said that,” I protest in a high-pitched voice. At Chachu’s quirked brow I elaborate with, “I’m just waiting for the right time. It’s not…he’s not…he’s important,” I finish finally.
And he is. That’s the silly, stupid thing.
I spent two hours blow drying my hair and perfecting my makeup with Tina, Mischa’s younger sister for him. Because I wanted him to see me and be blown away. I wanted him to be proud of having me on his arm.
That’s how important he is to me.
“Is he more important than your career, your education?” Chachu asks, quietly. Before I can retort he continues, “I know something happened last year. You’ve been…withdrawn. Quiet. You don’t sparkle as much. Except when you’re with him. I don’t know if I like it or I’m worried,” he admits heavily.
“Is it so bad, Chachu?” I ask softly. “Liking someone?” Especially if they make you forget how awful your life is. If they are good for your soul.
“Of course not, Queenie.” Chachu spares Noah a glance. He’s looking at the darkening sky now. “I just want you to know you’re worth more than him. In your own way.”
“He holds a world record for the fastest century ever, Chachu. He’s worth so much more than anyone else,” I defend him immediately. Not liking how Chachu dismisses Noah’s hard work.
“But he isn’t my kid,” Chachu answers simply. “You are.”
“That’s just inherent bias,” I bite back. “You know he’s brilliant and has an amazing future in international cricket. And you’ll make the selector’s call for him.”
Chachu gives me an impatient look.
“I…” I hesitate, trying to find the right words. “This year has been different, Chachu. I’m different because of it. And I will tell my parents everything, I promise. But please don’t assume Noah’s not…that I’m not aware of what I’m doing.”
“I hate that you want to make your own decisions, now,” he grumbles. Defeated
“But you’ll respect them anyway.” I kiss his cheek. “Noah’s here to stay. And he is brilliant. And he’s mine.” For now. “And you’ll not tell my parents anything till I am ready to.”
I can be as authoritative as Coach Devgan when I need to be.
I make small talk with the others at the table when I suddenly see a silver-haired man in wired, rimless glasses at one of the other tables. My heart jerks to a stop. I clench my fists. And I look blindly at the table.
Words are distant echoes in my ears as I recall a closed office door, the light streaming in through Thorndon’s diamond shaped windows. I hear the words that haunted my nights till Noah Dumaine started occupying them.
Who’s going to believe you, Miss Madhavan?
A light touch from Chachu dissipates the image from my head. I come back to the present.
“You okay, bachcha ?” He calls me by my childhood name, little child , and looks in the direction I was looking.
“I’m fine. I’m going to—” I jerk my head over to the other end of the table. Where the seat next to Noah’s empty.
Chachu sighs and pats my hand. That’s about as much approval as I’m going to get from him.
I am aware of more than a few glances as I make my way across the table to Noah. It never stops bothering me. The way people just openly assess you, trying to make judgments about you. Based on how you look. What you are. What they’ve heard about you.
Thorndon’s campus and the townspeople shamelessly stared at me, while I walked through the roads. I used to shake inside because I could see the curiosity and excitement and judgment in their eyes. But I never let them know it.
Only in the last month have I stopped shaking inside. And truly stopped being bothered by how people see me. Let them see what they want to see.
What I am, who I am, matters only to certain people.
I walk taller the last few steps to Noah’s side.
I drop into the seat next to my boyfriend and peck his cheek. “Hi, boyfriend. I missed you.” I play my fake girlfriend act to the max.
A muscle ticks in Noah’s jaw. But he doesn’t react otherwise. He smells of the food and the sea and his cologne’s sandalwood, myrrh and minty ice. In short, mouthwateringly appealing.
Since I can’t have him, I pick up a fork and dig into the untouched apple pie and ice cream on his plate. “Surprised to find this still here,” I tease him.
He still doesn’t even look at me.
I swallow a sudden, hot ball of tears as a wayward thought strikes me.
He doesn’t want to be seen with me anymore. He’s finally realized we aren’t the real deal and doesn’t know how to tell me.
Heck, he even went back to sleep on the couch two days ago.
I eat more pie with determination. If he doesn’t want me anymore, he can fuck right off. I don’t need the man anyway. And I certainly don’t want someone who doesn’t want me.
“Hey, Queenie,” Teddy Durham calls from across the table. “I don’t know if you remember me. I used to come to the diner during March Madness. Follow the scoreboard with you? You taught me the correct way to read basketball scores.”
“Of course, I remember you, Teddy.” I give him a wide smile. “Congratulations on the match win.”
“She more than remembers you, Durham,” Noah speaks up. “She’s had a crush on you, from what I hear.”
I almost choke on my pie at his casual words. I swallow the bite down. “Wha—” I smile weakly at Teddy who just gives me a sweet grin. “He’s joking.” I touch Noah’s thigh. It’s vibrating. Like he’s been electrocuted.
What in the fuck is going on?
Teddy laughs. “Oops. I never knew that. If I had, I’d have asked you out long ago. Then you’d look stunning for me, right?” He laughs again, boyishly.
My blood does not stir. Hell, it does not even move sluggishly. It just runs at its normal speed. When I see Teddy next to Noah, I feel less than nothing. Just a black void.
Was Teddy ever a crush if just touching Noah makes heat slide into my tummy?
“Then I guess, I’d have to fight you for Queenie and the Cup.” Noah toys with his water glass. He gives a poison-sharp smile to Teddy. “And for saying what you just did.”
I seethe inside. Why is he doing this? Why’s he saying these things tonight, of all nights? Especially because he just might be done with me.
“No one does obsessed like Dumaine.” Ares grins unrepentantly.
Teddy swears and stares at Noah. “Why did you kick me, Noah?”
Noah shrugs. “I didn’t mean to kick you.”
“Shall we dance?” I say brightly. And I dig my nails into Noah’s arm. He gets up, still holding eye contact with Teddy.