Chapter 34
Anya
He couldn’t stop touching me.
My parents invited Parker inside, and after the initial flurry of high emotions ebbed, it was just good to see him hang out with my family. But no matter what we did, I was always within reach.
His hand reached for mine as he and my dad talked sports—his upcoming season and some of the roster changes in Washington and Portland.
When he sat on the floor to play a card game with Willa, his back against the couch, I sat with my legs on either side of him so I could play with the short hair on the back of his neck, Parker occasionally wrapping his hand around my ankle, his thumbs dragging along my skin.
If I sat down next to him, his arm was around me, fingers tangling in my hair. Or his palm was over my thigh, a casual proprietary hold that made me a little breathless.
Leo was the biggest hit of the party. The girls all made a huge fuss over him, each taking turns trying to make him smile, which seemed to distract Willa from her death-defying YouTube dreams.
At one point, my dad had Leo standing up on his lap, his big hands wrapped around Leo’s little rib cage. And when Leo sneezed, my dad let out a low, amused laugh, pulling the baby up to blow a kiss on his belly, and I saw Isabel swipe underneath her eyes.
“You could always have another one,” I whispered.
She smacked my thigh—the one Parker wasn’t holding. “You bite your tongue. I’m in my forties. Plus, imagine Willa teaching the younger generation.”
I winced. “Fair enough.”
Willa’s friends were slowly picked up, and more than a few parents wore stunned facial expressions at the addition of Parker to our party. Mia’s dad gave me a sheepish smile and disappeared with a lot less chitchat than when he’d dropped her off. In his defense, I was sitting on Parker’s lap, his arm banded around my waist. It didn’t leave much needed in the way of explanation.
The skies were getting dark, and Willa’s sugar crash was hitting her. She’d fallen asleep on the floor with one of her new toys gripped in her arms.
Parker finished his cake, a speck of pink frosting clinging to his bottom lip as he set the plate down on the coffee table in front of the couch. I cupped his face and brushed it off with my thumb.
“Missed a spot,” I told him.
His eyes held mine. “I don’t think you got it all.”
With a grin, I leaned in and kissed him softly, swiping my tongue along his bottom lip. “All clean,” I whispered.
At the dazed expression on his face, I bit down on my smile, but Isabel noticed, a knowing glint in her eye where she sat by my dad and Leo on the couch. She laid her head on Dad’s shoulder as he made silly faces to get the baby to smile.
Parker let out a low growl that no one could hear but me, leaning his head down to press a kiss against the curve of my neck. “Please tell me everyone goes to bed very early in this house,” he murmured.
“You’re so obsessed with me,” I teased. “Can’t you be patient?”
“No,” he groaned. “I’ve been such a good boy all night. Haven’t I?”
His hand tightened on my thigh, and my belly fluttered in anticipation even though I smacked his hand. “You can be a good boy for a little bit longer,” I said primly. Then I added in a lower voice, “I promise it’ll be worth it.”
He sat back and let out a contented sigh. “It already is, baby. Even if it was just this.”
There was no universe in which this man wasn’t getting laid tonight, so I didn’t know what the hell he was talking about.
A bit later, I roused Willa and told her I’d help bring her gifts upstairs to her room. She gave a bleary-eyed nod and walked around the room to hug everyone. When she walked straight up to Parker, he was clearly surprised. But he gave her a sweet hug, straightening the crown on her head when she pulled back.
“I like this look,” he said. “You’re a princess …”
“A ninja princess,” she finished matter-of-factly. “Girls can be both.”
“Yes, they can,” he answered seriously.
My heart swelled dangerously.
When I came back downstairs, Violet had disappeared, likely in her bedroom talking to her boyfriend. Dad was asleep on the couch, Leo in his travel bassinet next to him. Dad’s hand was draped inside, their fingers only inches apart. That made my heart swell too.
Parker stood in the kitchen, drying dishes at the sink. When he set the last one down, he slung the towel over his shoulder. “Here, I can take that garbage out if you tell me where it goes.”
Isabel smiled. “Thank you. Your mom trained you well, didn’t she?”
Parker laughed easily. “Yes, ma’am.”
We both watched him disappear into the garage, and then she gave me a look. A mom look.
“Stop it,” I hissed.
Isabel laughed softly. “Kid, this is the best thing I’ve ever seen.” She appraised me with those sharp eyes, the ones that saw everything. “You’re happy.”
“The happiest.”
“Good.” She glanced at the couch and shook her head at the sight of my dad. “I think we can handle Leo tonight, if you want.”
My eyebrows popped high. “Really?”
“Really.” She motioned me closer, wrapping me in a tight hug, the kind that made me feel like I could handle anything. Isabel was so good at those. “If nothing else, it’ll cure me of this small bout of baby fever.”
I was laughing as I pulled back, suddenly desperate to get back to my room.
“Thank you,” I told her.
Isabel winked. She pulled her crutches from where they were leaning against the wall and pushed up on her good foot. “Everything Leo needs is in the bag, I’m assuming?”
“Should be. If he wakes up for a bottle, and he might not, we change his diaper after he eats.”
She gave me a mock salute.
I slapped her ass when she turned around, and Isabel grinned over her shoulder. Parker’s duffel bag lay on the floor just inside the door, and I hooked it over my shoulder before leaning down to give Leo, then my dad, a soft kiss on the forehead. Neither one of them moved.
“Go,” Isabel said softly.
Say less , I thought. I was jogging toward the garage before Parker reappeared in the kitchen. I found him standing in the driveway, staring up at the stars.
“Whatcha looking at?” I asked.
He held an arm out, and I slid underneath, soaking up the ease of his affection.
Mine , I thought.
He was mine.
“The stars.” He kissed the top of my head. “Feels good to be here with you, golden girl.”
I snaked my arm around his waist and breathed in his clean, spicy scent. God, I’d missed it. I’d missed him so much.
“Feels good to have you here, Wilder.” I tilted my chin up, and he took the hint, leaning down to give me a lingering kiss, sucking slightly on my bottom lip before he pulled back.
“You have my bag over your arm.”
“You’re quick, aren’t you?”
His eyes narrowed, and I bit down on my growing smile. “Don’t we need to get the boy?”
Slowly, I shook my head.
His gaze locked on my mouth. “Why not?”
“Isabel must really, really like you,” I whispered, coming closer to his lips, achingly close, just far enough away that they weren’t touching. “Because they’re taking the baby tonight.”
He moved before I could blink, tearing the bag off my shoulder, then dipping down to grip me around the knees. His shoulder braced against my stomach, and I was upended in the next heartbeat.
“Parker”—I laughed—“put me down.”
“Where am I going?” he asked. “Tell me right now, or I’m having sex with you in my truck.”
I was breathless with laughter, my head spinning from hanging upside down. “Back in the garage, there’s a door to the left that leads to the guest apartment upstairs.”
“Thank God,” he muttered.
He took those steps like he was carrying a freaking feather. I gripped the back of his shorts, grinning like a fool.
“I can walk you know,” I told him as he cleared the top step.
“Not fast enough.” Instead of letting me down, Parker spun to look at the room. “This is perfect.”
I laughed. “Yeah?”
It was a nice space—a loft-style apartment with a king-sized bed, pull-out sofa, kitchenette, and one full bathroom—usually used by one of Isabel’s sisters if they visited and needed a place to stay. Molly lived in Seattle, too, but Lia and Claire both lived elsewhere, so it was good to have a place where they and their kids could have a bit of privacy.
It was also excellent for times like this: when I wanted to screw my husband into next freaking week and not worry about sending my family on an all-expense paid trip to therapy for what they might hear.
Parker set me down, his gaze unyielding as he flung the bag onto the ground. He wasted no time before his hands slid around the sides of my neck, his tongue snaking into my waiting mouth, thumb tilting my jaw up at exactly the right angle for the possessive, hot kiss I’d been waiting for.
Forever stretched out in front of us, filling the horizon with the kind of happiness I’d only ever dreamed of. It was all I could see.
All of my senses were Parker—and I clung helplessly to his shoulders as he kissed me.
His hands moved down my arms, to my waist, up my ribs, down along my back until he cupped my backside in his big hands.
“I missed you,” he groaned, angling his head to kiss me deeper, deeper, our breath coming in sharp pants through our noses as our bodies wound closer and closer. There wasn’t a single inch of space between us, and Parker boosted me up, my legs winding immediately around his waist as he walked us toward the bed. “Missed you so fucking much.”
I tipped my chin up, gasping as he placed sucking kisses along my neck. Mark me , I wanted to tell him. Wanted to beg him. At this rate, I’d be ready to tattoo that man’s name on my ass if he made me feel like this for the foreseeable future.
“I missed you too,” I told him, my hips writhing against his stomach as he held me in place. The kisses were decadent and filthy. The way he licked into my mouth had me dizzy with how much I wanted him.
It would always be like this with us, wouldn’t it?
It wasn’t because we’d been pretending, and it wasn’t because it felt like stolen time.
This was the way we’d love each other—illogical, fierce, impossible to understand. Forever. We’d love each other like this forever.
Parker’s legs hit the bed, and I clung to his upper body as he braced a hand on the mattress and lowered me down. Between desperate kisses, the kind with tongue and teeth and panting breaths, we tore at each other’s clothes.
When we were bare with nothing between us, Parker sat up between my legs and simply stared down at me for a moment, eyes voracious as he studied every inch. He spread his fingers wide, laying his palm over my sternum and ghosting his big hand down my stomach, adding another hand as he tickled along my ribs, dragged his thumbs on the bottom curve of my breasts, drifting over the hard tips until I arched my back and gritted my teeth.
“Beautiful,” he whispered. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
Tears pricked at the back of my eyes, and I pulled him down to kiss me.
Everything slowed a little and took on a dreamy quality as that man worshipped my body, and I worshipped his. We didn’t rush, deciding instead on teasing each other mindlessly, waiting until we were together to chase our pleasure.
Parker kissed me everywhere. Soft kisses. Slow licks of his tongue. Hard kisses. The edge of his teeth on sensitive skin that had me shaking all over.
My breasts.
My neck.
My hips.
The inside of my knees.
Between my legs, where I called his name, and he pulled back before I tipped too far over the edge.
Body pulsing with need, I pushed at his shoulder and did the same to him, allowing my hair and hard nipples to brush over his skin as I did some kissing of my own.
His hands coasted over my back as I nibbled on the lines of his obliques, and he gathered my hair in his fist when I took him in hand and used my tongue and lips.
The sight of this big, strong man helpless because of what I was doing was a heady sort of control, and I pressed my thighs together when he tightened his hand in my hair, his hips working in shallow thrusts while he groaned my name and told me how good I was, how perfect, how much he missed me.
He said my name in a warning tone, and I pulled off, giving him a sly grin as the veins in his neck bulged from the way he gritted his teeth to get himself back under control.
Parker lifted his head. “Tell me what you want, wife.”
I leaned over him again, placing a long, lingering kiss on his waiting mouth. He still had his hand fisted in my hair, and that sharp bite of pain had me whimpering. I pulled back and held his gaze. “Make me crazy before you let us go.”
He grinned, rolling me back onto the bed in a smooth motion. Parker curled his arms around the back of my head and kissed me deep, my thighs widening to cradle him between my legs as he did. He took one hand, sliding it down my body until he gripped my thigh hard and wrenched it up against his side.
We both groaned when he slid inside, just a little.
It was different.
This was different from before.
I cupped his face. “No more pretend,” I told him, panting against his mouth. “Tell me this is real,” I begged.
“So fucking real,” he groaned. “It always was, golden girl.”
Parker kept those shallow little thrusts, back and forth, until I was a panting, trembling mess, trying to work him deeper with rolling motions of my hips. “I love … Oh I love you. Please,” I whimpered.
He thrust inside in one smooth, endless motion, and my words broke off on a throaty gasp.
“I’m yours,” he said between gritted teeth. “I’m yours, and you’re mine.”
His body worked in slow, rolling thrusts, and we were both already so primed, so ready to explode that I could already feel the build between my legs, the heat pooling low in my belly as he pitched his hips back and forth, angling up at the end in a way that had me moaning into his kisses.
Parker rolled his forehead against mine, holding me so tight that we breathed into each other’s mouths, hardly kissing, just letting the heat expand higher and higher and higher between us.
“That’s it, baby,” he groaned when he felt me flutter around him. “Come with me. Come with me.”
His thrusts were sharper, harder, and I bit down on his shoulder to hold back my sobs. It was a split second of white, pure sensation, and my vision went dark as I tossed my head back, and my soul tore apart from the sheer, painful amount of bliss coursing through my veins.
He yelled my name into the curve of my throat, his hips slowing as he took my mouth in a slow, savoring sort of kiss. The drag of his tongue over mine and the greedy way he held me so tight had a tear streaking down my temple.
This. This was what I’d been missing.
Not the sex and not the orgasms and not even the devastating chemistry that seemed to level everything in its path.
It was the love that bound all those things together.
It was him. His imperfections and mine, too. We’d managed to carve something beautiful out of the messes that brought us together.
Parker rolled us to our side, and he held me close to his chest as he caught his breath. “I am so glad your dad couldn’t hear that because I’m pretty sure he’d never let me back in this house again.”
My body shook with laughter, and I kissed him as I smiled.
“You think that was bad?” I asked him. “Just wait. We have the whole night, Wilder, and I’m gonna make you beg for more.”
His eyes were happy and bright. “Give me a few minutes, golden girl. Then I’ll beg for whatever you’ll give me.”
We kissed again, and he kept me wrapped tight in his arms.
After a few minutes, I slipped out from under the covers and cleaned myself up in the bathroom. Parker wedged a hand behind his head, his eyes lingering unashamedly as I tugged a T-shirt over my head.
“Now, why would you go and do something like that?” he asked.
“It’s good for you,” I told him, climbing back in bed and snuggling up against his side. His arm curled around my shoulder, and my fingers danced across the muscles on his chest. “Builds character.”
He hummed. “I can see that.” His hand started tugging on the shirt, slowly inching it up over my hips. “Now, I have to work so much harder for what I want. Show you that I can achieve anything I put my mind to.” He pulled his arm out from underneath me and dove under the covers while I laughed. “Perseverance,” he said, nibbling on my thigh when the shirt was high enough. “Determination.” He sucked on the skin over my ribs. “Tenacity,” he murmured, dragging his nose along the curve of my breast.
I tugged at his shoulders until his head reappeared. His smug grin made me so freaking crazy. “You cannot possibly be ready to go again.”
He kissed me soundly, then arranged my body back against his side. “Not quite. I know I’m impressive, but …”
I tilted my chin, kissing the edge of his jaw. “Trust me, all I have to do is ask, and I’m sure you’ll tell me all about it.”
Parker smiled. I’d never seen that smile on his face before, and it was my favorite one yet. Calm and peaceful. Like he couldn’t possibly want for anything else in his life.
Mine probably looked the same.
“How long can you stay tomorrow?” I whispered.
His hand ran a smooth, steady course up and down my arm. “I’ll have to catch a flight back after breakfast. I need to be back to review film and work out.”
I nodded, a dull ache circling restlessly under my ribs.
Parker’s fingers guided my chin up until my eyes met his. “I’ll fly back every fucking day if I have to. I miss you. And whatever we have to do to make this work, it’s worth it.”
I turned my mouth up for a kiss, and he obliged willingly, humming as he pulled back.
After that, we lay side by side and talked.
He asked me how it had been since I came back home—at home and working with Vida.
I asked about Leo, and all the things I’d missed. The way his face lit up when he told me about the first time Leo laughed, God, it did things to me. How was I supposed to function, knowing that I could have him any time I wanted? It couldn’t possibly be healthy.
He told me about his sessions with Dr. Alex and his conversation with Sheila.
I propped up on my elbow, staring down at him with my jaw hanging open. “She knew ?”
Parker nodded. “I’m telling you, that woman comes off all sweet and nice, but she is straight up manipulative when it comes to us kids.”
I laughed, and he stared at my mouth just long enough that I drew him in for a lingering kiss.
“I think I can come back home soon,” I told him. “Let me get through this week with Isabel’s PT, and then Vi and Willa will be back in school, and it’ll be easier to manage.”
“I’m in no rush,” he told me, threading his hands through my hair. “You can still fly back here a couple of days a week if you need.”
“I’ll bankrupt you with travel charges,” I teased.
“I’d love to see you try.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “I am obscenely wealthy, if you didn’t know.”
“Ugh. No one likes a braggart.”
He tickled my sides, and I laughed. “You do.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. But don’t do anything crazy, okay?”
He kissed the sensitive spot underneath my ear and I shivered. “Like buy you a plane for your birthday?”
“Like that,” I drawled. His eyes glinted when he pulled back, and I smacked him on the chest. “Parker, don’t you dare.”
He made a small tsking sound. “Just a little one. You’ll love it.”
My fingers trailed over the slope of his nose and the line of his lips. “I’m going to be very clingy for a while,” I warned him.
His hands dipped over the small of my back, his palms skating over the curve of my ass. “So am I.”
“I might be possessive.”
“Excellent.” His knuckles dragged over the side of my breast. “I am too.”
“And I’ll drive you crazy sometimes.”
“Promises, promises,” he whispered, sucking at the edge of my jaw. “I think we’ll have that in common.”
He curved his hand behind my neck and pulled me down for another kiss. One kiss became two. Two became three. And I lost count sometime after that as his tongue swept over mine, and his hands roamed over my skin.
The world could’ve burned down around us, and I’m not sure we would’ve noticed.
My hands moved up over his shoulders and to the back of his neck.
Parker’s eyes searched my expression, like he was waiting for me to say something else. His hands smoothed up my back, and mine gently traced the lines of his face.
“And I think … I think loving you will be one of the great privileges of my life,” I whispered.
His small smile started in his eyes. For a moment, he closed them and let out a great, heavy sigh, and it felt like he was expelling some incredible weight off his frame when his eyes opened again.
“Let’s pretend I said that first,” he murmured, moving in for a kiss as I smiled.