Chapter 20
Nevan
The walk through town was a blur. I hadn’t realized how angry I was until I’d spoken with Margaret. It was careless of Enid. If she had a lover, the least she could do was tell him not to visit during our arrangement.
Also, if she had a lover, that meant she’d brought him into Fairwitch, which was very illegal.
No one was allowed to bring visitors without Prince Cillian’s permission.
The more I thought about all the ways this put us at risk, the angrier I got, until all of a sudden I stood there in front of Enid’s cottage, staring at the front door, chest heaving, no clue how I’d gotten there.
My heart was pounding, rage thrumming in my veins. I banged on the door, and Enid opened it, a confused look on her face.
“I thought we were meeting tomorrow at the—”
I grabbed her arm and pulled her into the cottage, the door slamming behind us.
She wrenched herself from my grasp. “What has gotten into you?”
“Who’s Ambrose?” I asked.
Her eyes went wide and she took a step back. “Where did you hear that name?”
“Just answer the question.”
She stepped back again, hands curling into fists. “You answer mine first.”
My jaw locked. “From Fiona.” I didn’t mention Margaret. I’d collect the painting and return it to the castle. I assumed it was still propped behind the couch, and Enid probably hadn’t even given it a second glance.
Her umber eyes went even wider, realization lighting up her face. “She overheard us after her visit.” She swore under her breath.
“You have a . . .” I couldn’t even say it. I couldn’t say the word without bile rising in my throat.
“Yes,” she said, voice hard. “And I won’t apologize for it.”
My anger flared. Stubborn woman. “You’re jeopardizing everything.
What if Fiona had told her aunts? Or my brother?
Or just some random townsperson? Everyone would know you have some .
. . lover . . . that what we have isn’t real.
” My voice cracked, and I hated myself for it.
Those words rang much truer than they should have.
She crossed her arms and looked away. “I’m sorry that a little girl invaded my privacy.
I’m sorry that your city landed on my bog and interrupted my entire life.
I’m sorry that your brother is now threatening to exile me so I have no choice but to fake a relationship with you.
I’m sorry that my entire life has been turned upside down through no fault of my own, and now I’m being punished for it. ”
Her chest was heaving, her cheeks flushed. I knew I was being unreasonable. I knew I was being an ass.
“You should be sorry,” I said, despite knowing all of this. Idiot, idiot, idiot.
“You should be sorry,” she snapped, landing us at a standstill, both of us glaring daggers at each other, neither willing to back down, and I had this sudden stupid urge to kiss her.
To kiss her and make her shut up. To fight with our mouths in a very different way, and the idea was turning me on way more than it should have in this moment.
Tears gathered in the corners of Enid’s eyes, and just like that, all my anger melted away.
“Enid.” I reached for her, but she moved back.
“Don’t.”
Godwitches, I was such an ass.
“Ambrose was all I had for a long, long time,” she said. “He’s come every month for years. It’s just sex. Nothing else.”
“Why isn’t it anything else?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know.
She sniffed and dashed a tear away, not meeting my gaze. “Because I’d have to move away. He’d never live in my bog with me.”
“That doesn’t seem fair,” I said.
She snorted. “No it doesn’t.”
“So that’s it? That’s the only reason you two aren’t together?
” Jealousy rose like a tidal wave, crashing over me.
I shouldn’t have cared that if this Ambrose would move in with Enid, that was all it would take for her to be his.
Fully his. I shoved a hand through my hair, needing to get it together.
“No,” Enid finally said in answer to my question. “There’s other reasons we can’t be together.”
My gaze snapped to her glassy one. Her brown eyes darker than I’d ever seen them, almost black. I’d once thought them to be so hard, so emotionless, but now all I saw were the swirling depths of emotion.
“He never has fully accepted me for who I am. Vine doesn’t like him.”
I snorted. “Vine likes everyone.”
“Not Ambrose,” she murmured. “He was never right for me, and that’s why this has only been about sex.”
I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I barged in here yelling at you. I had no right to do that. I don’t know why I got so angry. I guess I just thought we had a deal.”
Her jaw locked. “I know. That’s why I told Ambrose to leave.” I could’ve sworn her cheeks had the slightest blush to them. “Because of our deal.”
“But what about next month?” The words came out before I could stop them. “You’re supposed to meet monthly, right? Next month will still be before our arrangement is over.”
She stared at me for a long moment. “We’ll be discreet next month.”
The words were a sucker punch. Godwitches, why was this so difficult? My lungs squeezed tight, making it hard to breathe, and I bent over for a moment, hands braced on my knees.
“Nevan?” Concern laced her voice, and she reached out, hand hesitating, hovering, before she grasped my arm.
“It’s fine.” I took a few deep breaths. “Is Fairwitch safe with Ambrose knowing about us?”
“That’s why you’re upset?” Her voice was tight. “You think I’ve given away your city?”
“Haven’t you?”
“You don’t need to worry about Ambrose.” She grabbed my arm, even though my hands were still braced on my knees. “Trust me on that.”
“I do,” I said, still bent over.
There was silence for a moment. Then, “So you’re okay with me and Ambrose meeting next month?”
Something in her voice made me straighten to my full height. She was close to me now, hand still gripping my arm, face scrunched in concern. I could’ve sworn I heard something like disappointment in her tone. Like she wanted me to tell her that I wasn’t okay with it.
I stared at her, breathing hard, the words on the tip of my tongue, our faces so impossibly close.
I wasn’t sure who moved first. But suddenly we were crashing into each other, our mouths colliding. My hands threaded through her black hair, and hers slid up to my shoulders.
I pried open her mouth with mine and slipped my tongue inside, and she let out a little moan that turned me molten. Enid was always so put together, so guarded, but it felt like she was losing control in this moment as much as I was, and it made me even more feral for her.
I wrapped my arms tight around her so that her body was flush against mine while I kissed her like I might never get the chance again. Maybe I hadn’t answered with my words, but I hoped this kiss would be answer enough.
Her hands moved from my shoulders to my neck, and her nails grazed my skin, sending shudders through me as we continued to kiss.
It was as amazing as I thought it would be. A small part of me had thought kissing her would satiate my curiosity, but now I knew it would only make me want more. So, so much more.
A knock sounded at the door, and we split apart. I stared at Enid as her fingers went to her lips, horror flashing in her eyes.
Fuck. I’d gotten carried away in the moment.
“Enid,” I started, but a voice cut me off.
“Nevan, are you in there?” Cillian yelled.
“What is your brother doing here?” Enid hissed. “Does he know about Ambrose? Let me guess, he wants to exile me again.”
“No. Of course not.” I strode to the door and opened it to reveal Cillian, arms crossed and an annoyed expression on his face.
“You closed your lab in the middle of the day to visit your girlfriend?” He glared at Enid over my shoulder like it was her fault. “You’re the only healer we have, Nevan.”
“I know,” I said, an edge to my voice. “That’s why I’ve suggested hiring another healer. I do have a life, you know.”
Cillian sighed.
“We’re done here anyway,” Enid said behind me, and I turned, trying to catch her gaze, hoping she’d give me some kind of hint about how she felt right now.
But a mask had slipped over her face, and I had no idea what she was thinking.
“Good,” Cillian said. “Because you have patients that need care.”
My shoulders slumped. I couldn’t say anything else, not with Cillian here and not when Enid clearly didn’t want me to stay.
“Okay,” I said finally, voice full of resignation. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the festival?”
Enid didn’t look at me, just nodded, and I turned and walked out the door, letting it close behind me without a look back.