Chapter 38
Enid
“She’s so pale,” a female voice said.
“She looks fragile.”
“Definitely not used to seeing that.”
My eyes shot open, and I jolted upright in bed.
Ceri, Harriet, and Niamh all stood in my loft, staring at me with wide eyes, Ceri’s hand over her heart like I was the one who’d scared her.
The sun shone in through the open back, haloing them all in its buttery light.
“Does nobody knock in this town?” I murmured.
Niamh bit her bottom lip, a guilty look flashing across her face. “We did knock, but no one answered.”
“That should’ve been your first clue to walk away.” I looked next to me, the spot empty. Vine must’ve gone out to catch food.
“We wanted to apologize,” Ceri said, twisting her hands together, her round cheeks rosy as usual. “About the book.”
“You were right.” Niamh stepped forward. “We were looking at the story through the lens of romance, but we weren’t being critical about anything else.”
“It wasn’t really a happy ending for Merry,” Harriet added. “In fact, that ending makes me hate everyone in that village.”
“They were all cowards.” Ceri’s hands clenched. “It was two-faced of them. To pretend to be Merry’s friend and then just cut her out of their lives.”
Harriet and Niamh nodded along as Ceri spoke.
I rested against the headboard, body still weak. “Why are you all telling me this?”
It was nice that they’d stopped by, but I didn’t understand what they wanted from me, what they hoped to achieve with this visit.
“Because we want you to keep coming to the book club.” Niamh gave a small shrug. “And we think maybe you might need a friend right now?”
I sighed and crossed my arms. Word must’ve already spread about Nevan and me. Margaret, if I had to make a guess.
“We figured it out,” Niamh said quickly. She tipped her head to the side. “Well, Harriet did.”
Harriet shrugged. “It wasn’t exactly hard. Nevan’s been moping around for a few days, looking like a lost little puppy.”
That image did nothing for my already wounded heart. I’d done that to him.
Ceri stepped forward and sat on the edge of the bed. “What happened? It might make you feel better to talk about it.”
I eyed her. I hadn’t spoken with the blond woman that much, but she seemed so genuine, so eager to help. They all did.
I had Vine, but Vine was, well, a plant. It comforted me, but it didn’t understand how I felt.
“He said he loved me,” I finally admitted.
Niamh gasped, hand going to her heart. “How did that lead to you two breaking up?”
“Because I’m not right for him.” My hands curled into fists, sheet bunching in them.
“How can you think that?” Ceri patted my leg. “You’re literally perfect for each other.”
I blinked. “What makes you say that?”
“Well, you both love plants,” Harriet said.
Niamh nodded. “You have no idea how awful it was to have to talk to him about plants all the time—their medicinal properties, the reactions they might have if mixed with elements of other plants. Since you started dating, he hasn’t talked to us about it once.”
“It’s a miracle.” Ceri made a yeesh face. I wasn’t always great at picking up on emotions, but I had no problem interpreting that one.
Niamh wrapped a strand of red hair around her finger. “But it’s not just that. You bring out the best in each other.”
“Like you and Wolfe,” Harriet said to Niamh.
“Like you and Maya.” The redhead sent me a pointed stare. “He’s brought you out of your shell, gotten you to actually interact with people after spending two years living like a hermit. He got you to join our book club, a romance book club.”
“I heard you’ve been going on house calls with him.” Ceri picked up the Medicinal Properties of Plants book that was sitting on my nightstand. “And growing an interest in becoming a healer.”
I snatched the book from her, tucking it in at my side.
Ceri’s face softened. “The point is that he’s brought out a side of you that no one has seen. Perhaps that you haven’t even seen in yourself.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek. “Maybe, but I haven’t reciprocated.”
Niamh gave me a “come on” look.
I threw up my arms. “Yes, I talk plants with him. That’s not me bringing out the best in him.”
I wasn’t sure I’d ever brought out the best in anyone. If anything, all I’d ever seemed to do was make people show the worst of themselves.
“No, it’s not just the plants,” Niamh said. “You . . . woke him up. Before you, it was like Nevan was sleeping through life. He holed himself up in that lab, doing nothing but work. He wasn’t motivated. It was almost like he’d . . .” Niamh searched for the right word.
“Given up?” Ceri suggested, and Niamh nodded.
“Exactly.”
“Do you know how many times I’ve tried to get him to learn to swim?
” Harriet asked. “Wolfe is terrified his brother is going to drown, so he thought if I approached Nevan, he might be open to it. Spoiler alert: he wasn’t.
” She waved a hand to the bog spreading out in the distance.
“Then lo and behold, you two start courting, and all of a sudden he’s taking daily swims.”
I thought about the first time I’d gotten him in the water, how he’d pressed me up against that wall and kissed me. How I’d never wanted it to end.
“All of that might be true, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m not right for Nevan. I’m too different.”
Ceri let out a laugh, then covered her mouth. “Sorry. I just—I think that’s a funny thing to say in a place like Fairwitch Isle.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, suddenly tired despite sleeping well into the afternoon. All I wanted was to go back to sleep and shut off all thoughts about Nevan.
Niamh blinked. “Margaret is a literal painting.” She ticked off her fingers. “Then there’s the gargoyles.”
“The shifting castle,” Harriet said.
“Morton,” Ceri added, shuddering. “The way he eats books is both horrifying and fascinating.”
Niamh’s features softened. “This is a town of misfits. We live in a world where there are all kinds of magical creatures and objects and plants. There’s a place for everyone here.”
I wanted to believe that. I wanted to believe it so badly. I looked down at my hands, still curled into fists.
“We know you’re not like everyone else,” Niamh said.
My head shot up, the hairs on the back of my neck rising.
Ceri swallowed. “But that’s why we need you.
You know, Nevan gave me some of those spindles of yours.
They’re amazing for sewing, and I discovered some plants behind the dress shop that I can harvest as thread.
Father and I have been worrying about our low supplies, but your bog can give us everything we need. ”
My mind whirled as I listened.
“You saved Fiona,” Harriet said quietly, voice wobbling.
“Wh-what?” I asked. Surely I couldn’t have heard her right.
Harriet’s eyes welled with tears. “Her parents died in an attack on Fairwitch Isle a few years ago. That’s when Fiona came to live with me and Maya.
She was my brother’s daughter. We did our best, but so much of her light dimmed with them gone.
Then we came here, and she met you, and something about you brought her back to life.
She’d come home every day talking about this Enid and how smart she was and how funny she was and how much she wanted to be just like her. ”
My own eyes welled with tears. Fiona wanted to be like me?
Harriet gave a small shrug. “You brought our little girl back. I can’t thank you enough.”
Everyone else was nodding along in agreement, and my heart swelled. These women didn’t even know me that well, yet they’d come here today to comfort me. To be my . . . friends.
“I just don’t know if Nevan wants the real me,” I said. “He doesn’t know certain things about my past.”
“Has what you’ve shown him about yourself been real?” Harriet asked.
“Well, yes, but—”
“We all have baggage.” Sorrow flashed in Niamh’s eyes, making me think she was reliving some of her own. “Things we don’t want anyone to know.” She swallowed. “So tell Nevan.”
My pulse spiked. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to be honest with him, but I was scared.
“You’re already broken up,” Niamh said. “So be honest with Nevan about whatever you’re holding back. What’s the worst that can happen?”
He could betray me, reveal my secret, hurt me even more than I was already hurting.
Then again, I wasn’t sure I could hurt any more than this. I’d been alive thousands of years, and this was the worst pain I’d ever felt. If Nevan reacted badly, I had options. I could go to Kiln Mountain. I could go to the Otherworld.
“I think the real question you have to ask yourself,” Ceri said, “is will it be worth it?”
Was Nevan worth the risk?
I looked over at the teacup that Nevan had left yesterday, now empty after I drank the ginger tea he’d brought me along with that delicious little cake.
The answer to Ceri’s question was surprisingly easy.
Yes. Yes, it was worth the risk. It could all go very, very wrong, but it could also go right, and I’d take that chance every time for Nevan.
I looked at the women surrounding me. Maybe I wouldn’t just take the chance for Nevan, but for this. For all of it.
I wanted to have a different ending than Merry, but if I didn’t fight for it, I’d never get it.
I stood and got out of bed, my feet meeting the cold floorboards. “I have to go,” I said.
They all erupted into cheers, and I rolled my eyes. “Don’t get too excited yet.”
I dashed toward the stairs.
“Where are you going?” Niamh called.
I didn’t even look over my shoulder as I shouted, “To find Nevan.”