Chapter 6
CHAPTER SIX
Dallas
Fuck me.
I’d expected a lot of answers, but that wasn’t one of them.
I adjusted in my chair. My cock throbbed as I crossed my legs, holding her unyielding gaze.
If she wanted hot and kinky sex, that was something I could offer. It’d been too long since I’d been with someone who was into what I liked.
What if Madi was?
What if she wanted me to hunt her down and tear her clothes off and fuck her rough until she came on my cock?
The only problem was that casual relationships had never been something that worked for me. Doing something just for fun always left me broken after.
Like the kiss.
Nine months.
It’d been nine fucking months since I’d kissed June, and every time I saw her, I wondered if things could be different. That kiss had sealed me to a fate of thorny yearning, a yearning I’d never be able to satiate so long as she kept pushing me away.
But there was something here with Madi. The attraction was immediate and threatening to swallow me whole, but there was a small part of me that felt like I was betraying June.
Even though we were just friends. She’d made it clear there was nothing for us after that kiss.
It was time to move on.
I wanted this. Whatever this was. I wanted to take a chance on it.
“When it comes to kink and sex, I’m dominant,” I started.
Madi nearly choked on her coffee and covered her mouth, leaning back with wide eyes. “I guess we’re just getting into it, aren’t we?”
My smile danced. “I'd rather be straightforward.” Being honest about what I wanted was the best course of action, considering not everyone enjoyed what I liked when it came to sex and kink.
She squared her shoulders with a nod. “I like that. I think it’ll make it easier for me to be open if we approach it that way.”
“Good,” I said. Fuck it. “I have a primal kink.”
Her eyes went even wider and her pretty mouth dropped open. She stared at me. I waited for worry to set in, but all I felt was resolve. Having a primal kink was nothing to be ashamed of. Still, I braced myself for her to get up and walk away from me.
Madi released a hum in her throat. “I want to know more.”
I breathed out. There were no signs of her wanting to leave. “I want to hear about you too,” I said. “And I want to be clear that I don’t expect anything. If none of this is interesting to you or something you don’t want, we walk away as if it didn’t happen and there are no hard feelings.”
Madi leaned forward. “It is of interest to me. But, okay. Yes. There’s no pressure. We’re just talking. About kink. And sex. As new friends.”
“As new friends,” I agreed.
She smoothed her hands over her thighs, drew in a deep breath, and exhaled it intentionally.
“Okay. Here goes. I was with the same person for eight years, and we never explored anything I was interested in. So I’m experienced in some ways and inexperienced in other ways.
A lot of the kinks we tried together weren’t done in a safe way.
I’ve done a lot of research on my own, though.
Also, I guess I should add, we broke up right before this trip.
He cheated on me. I egged his house and after that went on a lingerie-buying spree.
I should have ended things a long time ago, but I never did.
Also, since it is relevant, I did a test for STDs when I found out he cheated and was negative. So that’s good, at least.”
My chest tightened. “I’m sorry, Madi. That sounds like a nightmare.”
“It’s okay.”
She said it so lightly, but I knew that feeling. There was a fracture there, somewhere in that situation that I didn’t know, and I recognized the cracks and pain in every carefully chosen word.
“You didn’t have to tell me all that, but thank you for doing so.” I took a sip of my coffee before chuckling as I digested everything she’d said. “Eggs and lingerie, huh?”
Madi’s smile came back. “Yeah. I should have done worse, but I don’t want to be locked up. I’m too delicate for jail.”
I chuckled, studying her a little more thoughtfully. “Are you sure you even want to do anything sexual? We’ve just met. We could just be friends. I can show you around Whynot and rescue you from our evil bugs without wanting more.”
Madi shook her head adamantly. “I promised myself I wouldn’t pass up chances for good things if they came. It’s been a really long time since I’ve felt desired. I feel embarrassed and silly and like I’m fumbling around even talking to you, but it also . . .”
“It feels nice,” I whispered.
Madi nodded. “It feels really fucking nice.”
Now I wanted to hunt the guy down. Not in a sexy primal way, but in a punch-him-for-hurting-her way.
“If it’s something we both want, then I don’t see why not, Mr. Whynot.”
I almost snorted at that. The town’s name was a curse. A cute one, but still.
She continued before I got another word in.
“I’m a switch. I like submitting, but I like occasionally dominating too.
But it’s been ages since I’ve been with someone dominant, and even then, I only got to experience it twice.
Frankly, the last eight years have been so vanilla.
The closest I got to being kinky with him was him slapping my ass and then complaining it hurt his hand. ”
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered.
“I’d really love to experience submission again, but gently.”
“Yes,” I said. “Gently would be good. I’m also out of practice.”
She raised a brow. “Out of practice as in you haven’t chased someone in a while?”
I tilted my head with a smirk. “Out of practice as in I haven’t wanted someone who has wanted me back in a while.”
A spark flickered in her eyes and she opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
“What is it?” I asked. Had I just fucked up?
“Is there someone else? Someone you want, I mean,” she added.
I swallowed hard. Yeah, I’d maybe just fucked up. “There is someone, but she doesn’t want me. She’s just a friend.”
Madi’s brows shot up with interest. “You don’t have to tell me who if you don’t want to, but .
. . I don’t live here. And I don’t know anyone.
And I’m not jealous. Honestly, that’s what pisses me off about the situation with Justin.
If he would have talked to me about opening our relationship .
. .” She trailed off and sighed. “It doesn’t matter. Your secret would be safe with me.”
I pressed my lips together, amused. This wasn’t the reaction I’d expected. “Unless you end up being with her too, I don’t think it matters. She’s a friend, and that’s it.”
Madi’s smile softened. “Would that bother you if I was?”
Fuck. My brain short-circuited as I imagined that.
June and Madi were both beautiful in completely different ways.
I could imagine June straddling her lap and .
. . I needed to not continue this line of thought.
It was nothing but trouble. “As long as you tell me. I’ve never been in a polyamorous relationship, but I’ve seen my sister and two friends make it work. Well, and . . .”
“This would be casual. Since I’d be leaving soon.”
“Right.”
Casual.
“Tell me about her,” Madi prodded. “I want to know.”
Every time June came up in any sort of way, I felt my ears burn. Because what did I even have to say about her? How could I possibly put into words how much I regretted not kissing her sooner?
Or how much I wished she’d give us a chance?
“She’s one of the best people in the entire world.
She’s sweet, funny and smart. Gorgeous. Sexy.
” I needed to shut up, but found it hard to.
I’d been holding all my thoughts about June inside for so long, it was like they couldn’t stop tumbling out.
“She has amazing tattoos. She has excellent taste in food, and bad taste in music. She’s short. ”
Madi barked out a laugh. “Well, I imagine everyone seems short to you. I’m used to being the tallest one in the room, but you still tower over me.”
“I wouldn’t say I tower over you. Just by an inch or so.” I smiled to myself. “With her, it’s like six inches or something. But you’d never think she was short with the way she carries herself.”
Madi released a dreamy sigh. “She sounds wonderful.”
“She is.” Fuck. What the fuck was wrong with me? Absolutely rule number one of going on a date with a woman was not talking about another woman.
Madi had a wistful look on her face as she leaned forward and propped it up in her hand. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why haven’t you gone after her? Wooed her? Seduced her? Does she really not want you?”
The question of the century.
“It’s complicated. I’ve known her my entire life.
She’s best friends with Avery. And our entire friend group was already shaken up recently by Avery, Mateo, and Levi.
Mateo and Levi are friends with me and my older brother, and we may have overreacted just a bit to the three of them.
Specifically Austin overreacted, but I also played a part in that. ”
I sighed. We’d mended all the fences there, and I was happy about that. But the way my brother and I had handled finding out Mateo and Levi were with Avery had been bad. I still felt embarrassed by it.
“It was stupid. We were stupid. Everything is great now, though. I just have to grovel once a month for continued forgiveness.”
Madi grinned. “You went all big brother, didn’t you?”
“Unfortunately. Even though Mateo and Levi are two of the best people I’ve ever known.”
“Those three were totally meant for each other. I know I haven’t met them in person yet. But just hearing how happy Avery sounds, they seem perfect together.”
“They are,” I agreed. “You’ll meet them soon, I’m sure. I’m shocked Avery hasn’t knocked down your door yet, but Mateo and Levi have probably been keeping her occupied and reminding her to let you settle in.”
Really, I’d been reminding myself that. More than once, I’d thought about knocking on her door or texting her.