Chapter 11 Dallas
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Dallas
I started off my morning with a run.
It didn’t help.
Then I did a round of weight lifting.
It didn’t help.
I took a cold shower to try to freeze all of the burning, insatiable thoughts.
It didn’t help.
Absolutely nothing could get Madi off my mind.
Finally, I gave in. By the time the sun rose and dusted Whynot in gold, I’d done all of those things plus made a cup of coffee, and then pulled out my floggers and paddles. They all needed a little TLC. Right? It didn’t hurt to pull everything out and make sure they were working just fine.
The cup of Folgers was bitter on my tongue. As was the thought that I was being completely ridiculous. The problem was, my kinky brain was in overdrive since yesterday’s lunch .
I’d even had sex dreams. Completely inappropriate sex dreams.
Talking with Madi about kink while trying not to think about the June Problem had created all sorts of imaginary scenarios in my head.
The problem was my dirty little secret.
Which was that I’d been wanting June for years.
I’d tried not to. I’d done my best to chase her out of my mind and heart. She’d been part of my life for as long as I could remember, and it wasn’t until a couple years ago when I started wanting more.
Long before the stupid cursed kiss.
In this hypothetical unrealistic world where I hadn’t known June her entire life and she didn’t think our kiss was a mistake, maybe the three of us could even be together.
My stupid dreams had us all together thanks to my imagination. Fucker.
Wild, unhinged, feral thoughts that had no business in my head. I was disappointed in myself for even letting them wander that way.
June was a friend. That’s where we were at. Friends. It didn’t matter that I wanted more with her, she’d slammed that door in my face.
Just this morning, I’d already jerked off twice trying to tame the lust too.
Quite literally nothing was helping me. I was at the mercy of my own willpower, and that willpower was crumbling.
I planted my hands on my hips and took a step back, surveying all the toys I’d laid out on my bed. I always took Mondays off, but I was eager to be back in my shop. I felt cooped up.
Debriefing with Austin would help. Not only would it be good to talk through my predicament with him, it would keep him from working today. I considered that a win.
Part of me wanted to sneak off to my shop and work anyway. I could get Madi’s car checked out and figure out what went wrong with her engine. Or I could work on the old Mustang that one of the Whynot Golden Girls had brought in after running over a barbed wire fence.
Instead, I’d landed on organizing my BDSM equipment and definitely not Googling Madi. I’d succeeded in not being a creeper so far, although I was slowly losing the battle against curiosity and the temptation was a vine twisting around my resolve.
My fingertips brushed over my flogger. The scent of leather filled the room and I inhaled sharply, a satisfied hum rumbling in my chest.
Outside of my primal kink, I enjoyed impact play. I enjoyed complete submission. I wanted my partner to trust that I would take care of them.
It was too bad the kink scene in Whynot was nonexistent. All the shit I knew was from my time in bigger cities where I’d actually had the chance to learn about BDSM. I had a few people in my life I could have those conversations with outside of my small town, and was grateful for them.
Austin and I had talked about kink exactly three times.
One was when we were both teens and discovered how to look shit up on the internet, and he forgot to clear his search history on the family computer.
Of course, I’d done it for him but not before learning that some people wanted to be spanked for fun.
Mateo and I used to talk about kink. But now that he was with my sister, all I could do was fight the urge to glower if it came up. I didn’t even want to think about what nonsense he got into with Avery and Levi, and wanted to keep it that way.
For me, the desire to be a deviant had started early and never went away. I loved sex and had no shame about it. Giving and receiving pleasure was one of my favorite things to do in the world.
And it’d been too long since I’d done that.
The problem with living in a small town was the dating pool included people I’d known for years. Most of them were friends and friends only. Like Evie. Evie was one of the most gorgeous women I’d ever seen, but she was like family.
June was . . . June. I tried not to let myself think about her otherwise. I couldn’t, I reminded myself, even as my blood rushed down to my cock.
God, that kiss had fucked me up. It was just a kiss, but I could still feel the burn of her on my lips like whiskey.
I closed my eyes for a moment, firmly shutting off any sort of desire for the pink-haired pixie.
My phone suddenly lit up on the bed and I leaned over. My eyes widened as Madi’s name popped up.
Madi
Good morning . . . I may not have slept at all last night. I keep thinking about lunch and what we talked about
Also, I met June.
Well, for real this time
My stomach twisted up like a Shibari knot. I plopped down on the edge of the bed.
She’d met June.
For real this time.
I felt like I’d let Madi in on my little secret by bringing her up at lunch. I hadn’t even named her, but it was a small town. I knew she was bound to figure it out at some point.
Less than twenty-four hours, though?
I hadn’t been subtle enough. If at all.
What the fuck did I do now?
Me
June is great
Madi
She sure is
She’s gorgeous, smart, funny, your sister’s best friend, and . . .
I kissed her???
Me
What do you mean you kissed June?
My thumb hovered over the keys. Shock lit up every nerve ending, but was quickly doused by curiosity.
She kissed June?
How in the hell had this happened?
I rubbed my jaw, struggling to get a grip. This didn’t help my imagination at all. In fact, now I was thinking about them kissing, and now I was hard. Instantly. I groaned as another text came in.
Madi
She was falling and I caught her, and it happened. Neither of us planned it. It was more like we knocked against each other the first time
Me
the first time
. . . and the second?
Madi
It happened
And then I realized she’s who you were talking about
What if I wanted to kiss her again? You said I didn’t need to know about her unless I wanted that
My heart thumped erratically in my chest. When I’d mentioned that to Madi, I never imagined that would end with the two of them kissing.
Me
If you want to kiss her, then you should kiss her. Consensually, of course
Does this mean you want to just be friends?
Madi
Oh god, no
Sorry. I’m sending mixed signals.
To be clear
I want you. Badly.
“Fuck,” I grunted.
Fuck me.
I want you.
My cock liked hearing that too damn much.
She wanted me, but she also . . .
Me
But you also want to kiss June
Madi
Yes, I do
I didn’t have to see her to know she was blushing.
I should have felt jealous, probably. Maybe frustrated. But, this didn’t bother me. The idea of her going after June excited me, actually. Maybe she’d have better luck with her than I did.
A smile fell into place. I didn’t know Madi all too well yet, but I knew that sending these texts was probably making her panic just a little. I appreciated her honesty about it.
Me
You meet her “for real” and now you have a crush
Look at you flirting with all the strangers
Kissing random gals and guys
Madi
I swear I’m not normally like this! And you and I haven’t kissed yet!
Me
Yet.
I think you’re cute
Madi
I’m humiliated, actually
Me
And is humiliation something you like?
The bubbles popped up then disappeared. The pattern repeated a few times, the anticipation killing me. I leaned back, my breath huffing out as I undid my zipper, releasing some of the pressure against my straining cock.
Madi
Not necessarily, but I do like being told what to do . . .
“Dammit,” I whispered.
She was fucking perfect and it was killing me.
My gaze slid over to the flogger on my bed.
Madi was supposed to leave in a few weeks. Then she’d go back to California and I’d stay here, and . . .
I needed to hear my name on her lips, begging to come before then.
Me
I think if you’re interested in June, you should pursue her too. And if you’re interested in me, come over this Sunday. I’ll make you dinner
Madi
On a Sunday? Isn’t that sinful?
Me
I’m not against getting on my knees to praise
I mean pray ;)
Madi
Oh god
Me
Close, but not quite
Madi
What if you’re all talk?
I laughed hard enough my bed frame squeaked. She’d quickly find out I wasn’t all talk. If I made a promise, I fucking delivered. And after not having sex for a couple years, every single part of me was desperate for this.
If I said I was going to get on my knees and praise her, I’d get on my knees and praise her.
Madi
Are you sure you’re okay with me having a crush on June? I don’t even know if there’s anything there, but I overthink sometimes, and I just don’t want to cause any problems
Me
I’m sure
I hesitated for a moment, but then typed out another message quickly.
Me
I don’t know if I can wait until Sunday to see you again, though
Madi
What about Friday?
Me
Friday would be good. A hell of a lot better than Sunday.
Send me a list of foods you like, if you have any allergies, and any foods you hate
Madi
Yes, sir ;)
My nostrils flared as heat filled my veins. Sir.
Me
You’re going to be trouble, aren’t you?
Madi
Not at all. I’m a good girl.
I’ll see you Friday ;)
Without a doubt, Madi was going to be trouble.
I popped the button on my jeans and grunted. I needed relief now.
I shoved my pants down and dropped my phone on my bed, closing my hand around my cock. My head tipped back, my eyes fluttering as I hardened to a painful degree. My balls tightened, blood pumping through every vein.
Fuck, I needed her.
I slowly stroked my cock, imagining her sinking down on top of me.
Her hands planted against my chest as her pussy wrapped around my cock, milking me between her sweet thighs.
I wanted to feel her tremble, I wanted to hear her moan, I wanted to feel every single part of her tighten around me as she came.
All of the things I wanted to do to her ran through my mind.
I thought about Friday. Our first time together, and what was I going to do?
I couldn't just chase her down the way I wanted to.
Or maybe I could. If we negotiated it. Maybe I could hunt her down and fuck her against the wall, sinking my teeth into her like a feral vampire.
As naughty as it was, I let that scenario play out in my head. I groaned as I imagined knotting my fingers in her hair and tugging, our limbs tangling together as we wrestled. I liked it rough. I wanted to feel her nails rake over my back and see the marks in the mirror the next day.
With a moan, an orgasm tore through me, hot cum spurting from my cock. It dripped down my hand, pooling on my lower stomach. My chest rose and fell with deep gasps, my eyes closing as I let the euphoric feeling relax every part of me.
Friday.
Just had to make it to Friday.