Chapter 21 June
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
June
You should kiss him.
You should fuck him.
You should do all the things you’ve been holding yourself back from doing.
Madi’s words hadn’t left me since last night. I’d tossed and turned, thinking about our day together, thinking about her date tonight. I’d maybe slept two hours, the rest of the night spent on her.
On him.
On them.
An idea had bloomed. A bad one. A really, really bad one.
But, more than an idea, it was a solution. Proposing it could backfire, but at this point, I would take the consequences of it because I had to know if they’d say yes.
I knew Dallas wanted Madi. I knew he was still interested in me. I knew I was interested in Madi, and Dallas . . . Well . . .
Of course I wanted him. I shouldn’t have wanted him. We’d been just friends our entire lives. The chemistry hadn’t been there. But things had changed since our kiss.
I wasn’t sure how much longer I could resist him.
So what if I gave in? For just a few weeks. Just while Madi was here.
I’d had hours to think about it. I’d tried to come up with other ideas, but this was the only one that felt right.
Four weeks of hot, kinky sex. No attachments. No feelings.
Friends with benefits.
It was a terrible fucking idea, but I couldn’t think of any other way.
My heart fluttered in my chest as I typed out the group text message.
Me
Hi, good morning . . . I know you both have a date tonight, and I wanted to see if I could crash it.
Well, basically—would the two of you be up for having dinner at my place tonight? I have a proposal of sorts.
It can wait, of course. But I still wanted to message
I stared at the chat, watching as text bubbles appeared and disappeared. My chest squeezed, all my nerves fraying as I waited.
Madi
Of course
Dallas
Crashing our date, huh? What time?
Me
Six, I’ll cook. Any allergies Madi?
Madi
Shrimp! No shrimp please
Me
You got it :)
Dallas
Are you gonna ask me about my allergies?
Me
I already know that you don’t have any
I also knew all the foods he loved. Knew what kind of fabrics he liked. Knew his favorite T-shirt had been patched up a couple times with black thread because he kept ripping holes into it.
I knew his favorite color was bright orange.
I’d never trusted the fact that he said orange was his favorite color. What kind of favorite color was that? He was the only person I’d ever met in my entire life who’d ever answered with that color.
Fuck, they’d both said yes.
My heart raced as I reread our texts again.
I’d really expected them to say no.
Me
See you later!
I blew out a low scream that sounded like a train whistle going off and tossed my phone on the counter.
God, I’d really done that.
There was no going back now. Unless I chickened out and came up with some sort of excuse and then pretended I’d never sent that text to begin with.
I was going to start hyperventilating. It was silly how nervous this made me. Maybe it was because I was talking to Dallas too.
Both of them.
I needed to talk to Avery still. She knew Madi was interested in her brother, but there’d never been a question of whether or not I was. Dallas had never been on my radar that way aside from the couple random fantasies I’d had when I was younger.
But I wouldn’t count those.
The New Year’s Eve kiss, however?
I should have told Evie and Avery about that after it happened. Eventually I’d have to come clean.
I picked up my phone again and switched to my chat with Evie.
Me
So . . .
I slept with Madi last night.
She has a date with Dallas tonight.
But I just texted Dallas and Madi and asked them over for dinner instead of having their date . . .
Evie
Oh my god.
OH MY GODDDDDDD
WHY ARE ALL MY FRIENDS GETTING LAID? WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN?
I’m FREAKING THE FUCK OUT
Okay, okay, come to the bakery. I’m making chocolate mint bomb cookies
I’d been summoned. With a sigh, I tucked my phone in my shorts pocket. Squaring my shoulders, I readied myself to be grilled.
The walk over to the bakery was quick. I kept my eyes averted from Whynot Paint.
I would talk to Avery at some point soon. Especially since she’d set me and Madi up yesterday. I just didn’t know how she’d take me potentially sharing Madi with her brother.
Maybe what happened with her, Mateo, Levi, Dallas, and Austin had scared me.
Of course, they’d all made up and everything had worked out.
Our friend group was still intact, everyone loved each other, whatever, whatever.
But for a second there, everything had been shattered in the ugliest of ways and I’d watched my best friend’s heart get ripped to shreds.
I didn’t want to do that. What if things didn’t work out? What if I made this proposal and then everything backfired and Dallas and I couldn’t stand each other anymore? What if Madi left and we never saw her again?
The moment the door to Whynot Treat Yourself opened, the scent of baked goods wrapped me in their warmth. All of my worries lost their edge as I breathed in the scent of cinnamon rolls, pecan pie, and fresh cookies.
Evie was already at the counter waiting with a catlike smirk. Today she wore a mint-colored dress with a dark green apron, her long blonde hair pulled up into a French twist.
“Hello, gorgeous,” I sighed.
“Morning. So, you sent the text.”
I groaned. “I need to talk to Avery.”
“Obviously,” she snorted. “Come with me. There are warm croissants in the back.”
“My queen.” I followed her without question, unbelievably excited for a warm croissant. Even after years of having access to her fresh baked goods, I was always thrilled when I ate one.
“I have to work while we talk,” she said.
“Do you need help?” I asked, eyeing the three work tables.
“Nope,” she said. She pointed at a chair in the corner. “Just sit there and tell me everything.”
I snorted. “I feel like a cuck in that thing.”
“You are. Go on. Grab a croissant.”
I snickered and took one from a tray on a nearby rack. I settled into the chair and bit into the fluffy crumbly layers. “You are too good to us.”
“I am. First off, how is Laura doing?”
God, I hadn’t even thought about my niece since yesterday. “She’s good, last I checked. I need to pop by and see how things are going. Ethan has been avoiding me, though.”
“Me too. I saw him in the grocery store the other day and he definitely went down a different aisle to escape me.”
I grimaced. “Sorry.”
“No, don’t be. You know I don’t care about that. I do care about you and Laura, though.” She shook her head, her brows drawing together in a scowl. “We’ll come back to that. Spill the beans.”
Watching Evie work was a form of pure entertainment.
She had everything down to a science. She only had two arms like any other human, but if I knew any better, I’d think she was a robot with sixteen of them.
She started forming cookie dough balls and stuffing them with mint chocolate as she listened.
“So, Dallas and Madi had a little date earlier this week and talked about kink stuff.”
“Oh? How do you know about that?” Evie asked.
“Madi mentioned it. She was vague, of course, she didn’t go into detail about what they talked about. But, they set up a date for tonight. But then last night, we . . . God, we did a lot. And I think we have a crush on each other.”
Evie’s eyes flickered up to me and she paused for a moment. “Please be so fucking real with me right now. What is this? High school? Crushes? Yeah, June, I think you have crushes on each other after scissoring all night.”
I scoffed. “Okay, damn. We’ve only known each other for like a week. A crush is a perfectly normal word for what this is.”
Evie shook her head with a soft snort. “I think crush is the only word you’re letting yourself think of.”
I crossed my arms and glowered at her, but that didn’t phase Evie.
“So Madi likes both of you. And you . . . like Dallas and Madi?
“I mean . . .” I trailed off. I was clammy. I didn’t like being under the microscope like this. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
Evie paused in making dough balls. She raised a brow, studying me closely. “What are you not telling me?”
I swallowed hard, suddenly wishing I had a shotglass of whiskey in hand. “Dallas and I kissed on New Year’s Eve. And since then, I’ve been trying to avoid him.”
“You . . . what?”
All I could do was nod as Evie processed the revelation. She planted her hands on the table and leaned forward.
“My god,” she finally said. “This makes so much more sense. The two of you have been acting so fucking weird, I swear. I thought I was imagining it, but I should know better by now. I’m always right about these sort of things.”
“Just keeping distance there. It shouldn’t have happened.”
“Why shouldn’t it have happened? Did he kiss you without your permission?”
I scoffed. “Of course not. This is Dallas Whynot we’re talking about.”
She picked up her rolling pin and pointed it at me. “I would still bust his balls with this.”
Despite feeling like I was in a frying pan, I laughed. “I know you would.” I finished the last bite of my croissant then swept all the crumbs off my lap.
“So was the kiss that bad?”
“What? No.” My cheeks burned as the memory filled my mind. The way he’d held me, his mouth hot against mine, awakening all of these desires I never knew I had for him. “No, it was really good.”
“And you . . . just don’t want to try anything more with him?”
“I mean, I do. Physically.”
“Ah.” Evie sighed and nodded as if it were all clicking into place for her. “I forget how relationship-adverse you are. Since you’re scared of letting someone love you.”
“I’m not scared,” I mumbled.
“Yeah, you are. Why else would you not immediately jump that man if it was a good kiss?”
“I don’t know, Evie, maybe because I’ve never felt like that about him. I haven’t been pining for him for years like you have for Austin.”
Evie’s expression tightened. Oof. I wrinkled my nose. That’d come out a little sharper than I’d meant.
“Sorry,” I added. “I just . . . The kiss surprised us both. Since then, I’ve tried to put distance between us. But then Madi shows up here and everything is going sideways, so I texted them this morning about a proposal.”
Evie pressed her red lips together. “And what’s the proposal?”
I exhaled slowly, steeling myself. “I am going to propose that the three of us have a friends-with-benefits arrangement until Madi leaves.”
Evie paused again. “June.”
“Don’t June me,” I hissed.
Evie picked up two trays. The metal clinked together as she slid them onto the baking rack. “It’s a bad idea.”
“I know that,” I snapped. “You don’t think I know that?”
“It’s a bad idea because you know you’re going to have feelings.”
“No,” I said. “I can keep it separate in my head.”
“I think you can try to. But if you’ve been resisting Dallas this long, there’s a reason for that.
Don’t get me wrong, I think you should go for it.
But if you don’t want to end up with feelings, then you shouldn’t propose this idea.
Just have sex with Madi, and when she leaves, keep going about your life like you always do. ”
Somehow, that just didn’t sit well with me. It should have. She was right about this, of course.
“The problem is, I want them,” I whispered. “Really bad.”
“Bad enough to risk fucking up a friendship?”
“We’re adults,” I said. “We don’t even know if Madi or Dallas will say yes.”
“And you won’t be jealous if those two are fucking?”
Damn, she was not going easy on me. It was frustrating, but also what I needed sometimes. Evie was supportive at the end of the day, but she’d also tell me what she really thought.
“I don’t have any issue with the two of them being together,” I said. “I actually really like it. Clearly.”
“Okay. And what about if you want to be there too and Dallas isn’t interested?”
My throat felt thick. “I stand by what I just said.”
“All right. And again, what happens when you catch feelings?”
“I won’t,” I said. “I don’t have time for feelings.
I don’t have time for romance. That’s part of why I want this.
It’s been too long since I’ve had some good sex in my life, and I don’t need anything else.
Madi is hot and gorgeous and I want her in my bed.
Dallas is hot and . . . I wouldn’t mind if he was there either. ” I want him, dammit.
Evie was quiet for a few seconds as she placed three trays of pie crusts on the table. “I don’t know, June. It’s more complicated with Dallas.”
“And so what if I fuck up? If he and I have sex and then it’s awkward and weird, it sure wouldn’t be because of me.”
“What if it’s bad?”
The silence made both of us giggle.
“Evie. Come on.”
“All right,” she groaned. “Okay. We know Dallas would be good in bed. Sure. Right. I just think you deserve something more than an arrangement like this, June. You deserve to be loved and cherished and—”
“Not everyone is meant to be a fairytale princess with a happy ending.”
Evie, without skipping a beat, rebutted. “Everyone deserves the chance, though. And you’re selling yourself short by going for friends with benefits with two people who could make you happy.”
“I shouldn’t need other people to make me happy.”
She sighed. “You know what I mean.”
Silence settled between us, only interrupted by the sounds of the ovens and the cooler fan blowing up front.
“So you think it’s a bad idea?” I finally asked.
“It’s a fucking terrible one. But, I support you. And I’m so curious to see what Mr. Dallas Whynot is going to say when you propose that you share the same woman in your beds.”
I fought a smile. “You and me both.”