Chapter Five
Kyson
The past two days had been a relentless carousel of questions spinning in my head, but only two played on a loop.
Why had Giovanni shown me that memory? And what did that kiss mean? Had I overreacted about the “meat dangling”
thing? Make that three questions.
Four. Why had he given me the best kiss of my life then disappeared? I hadn’t seen Giovanni since our kiss, and it was driving me insane. What if he thought I was a terrible kisser and wanted to spare my feeling by avoiding me?
Ugh! A guy deserved to know if he sucked at kissing. I’d never had anyone who’d complained in the past, but those men paled in comparison to Giovanni.
They were cheap cuts of beef while he was prime rib.
Now I wanted a rib roast. He had me all twisted up inside, and I hated feeling this way.
Just do what you always do. Act like he doesn’t exist.
After the way he kissed me? Not happening.
“Ready?”
Dane asked, pulling me out of my thoughts and bringing me back to the present.
“You are seriously trying to get me killed,”
I grumbled. We were in the hallway outside my bedroom, both of us wearing T-shirts, pajama pants, and socks. “This is such a bad idea.”
He’d knocked on my door ten minutes ago, eyes bright, with a harebrained idea.
And like an idiot, I’d agreed. I was just worried a vampire would pick up Dane’s scent, but he’d argued that my “offensive”
smell would keep them away. We were also right outside my bedroom, like that was somehow reassuring.
“Where’s your mind at?”
He placed his hands on his hips, staring at me like he could will the answer out of my head.
I wasn’t sharing this with him. Not when I couldn’t even figure it out myself. “Wondering how I let you talk me into this. What’re we, seven?”
“Just one time,”
Dane pleaded, giving what might have been puppy-dog eyes, but his eyes were so round it looked like he was trying to put me under a spell instead.
With a deep sigh, I nodded. “Sure, why not. It’s not like I wanted to live forever, anyway,”
I said before our reckless game began.
“Go!”
Dane shouted.
“Cheater!”
I took off then slipped, feeling like a cartoon character as my feet flew into the air and I landed right on my ass with a hard thump. Pain exploded through my lower half, making me curse like crazy. A dull throb spread through my tailbone, like the universe itself was punishing me for my terrible life choices.
Dane kept going, sliding the rest of the way down the hallway in his socks on the marble floor, like I was supposed to have done.
Showoff .
He shouted, his arms flailing like windmills. My jaw dropped as I watched him slam into the wall before crashing to the floor.
Holy. Shit. That was a huge wipeout.
“You okay?”
I shouted, shoving to my feet, only for my body to remind me I’d sustained my own injuries. Pain shot up my back, forcing me to remain still while praying it subsided.
Dane’s arm shot up, his thumb doing the same a second later. “Maybe this was a bad idea after all,”
he groaned, his voice echoing in the large hallway. “Why did you let me talk you into this?”
I chuckled, resting my hands on my knees. “I think I broke my butt. Next time, we need to use pads and helmets.”
And a pillow taped to my backside.
Dane rolled onto his stomach with a groan. “I think I broke my common sense… and possibly my wrist.”
“Seriously?”
Malachi was definitely going to have my head for this. The prince wasn’t just protective of Dane. He was obsessed with his safety.
I could already feel him ripping me a new— “Dane, watch out!”
My mouth went bone-dry as part of the shadows came to life, red eyes glowing as it shot straight for Dane. I yanked my socks off then raced toward him, the cold marble unforgiving under my bare feet.
The vampire dropped to his knees right next to Dane and reached for him.
“Don’t you dare touch him!”
I shouted, my heart thundering. Dane had slid much farther than I thought. It felt like I was sprinting a mile just to reach him.
Dane screamed and recoiled, shielding his neck with his arms, but there was more than one vein on the body to drink from.
The vampire grabbed Dane’s shirtfront and lifted him off the floor, causing his feet to dangle helplessly.
Taking advantage of my momentum, I rammed into the vampire, the impact sending all three of us crashing into the wall.
I grunted as I bounced off the vampire and stumbled backward, desperately grabbing air to stop my fall. Right before I hit the floor, strong hands gripped my shoulders and gently lowered me down.
As quickly as they’d appeared, the hands were gone.
Giovanni stepped into view, pulling two daggers from sheaths attached to his waistband.
In that moment, I didn’t see the guy who’d sat outside with me, teasing me until I’d been comfortable enough to kiss him.
I saw the warrior on the battlefield—honed muscles flexing, a deadly red glow in his eyes.
“Step away from the human, Baron.”
Giovanni bared his fangs. I had never seen him look so powerful and deadly.
My gaze flicked to Dane, who had his hands curled around Baron’s wrist as he held on. His eyes met mine, and I saw the raw panic in them.
Painfully, I pushed to my feet, ready to rescue him any way I could. I knew for a fact vampires left the castle to feed, but apparently, Baron couldn’t pass up a free snack.
His gaze strayed to me, and I could tell my scent was having an effect on him. His nose wrinkled, and he swallowed several times.
“You can’t hold me accountable for this,”
Baron argued, ripping his eyes away from me to glare at Giovanni. “It’s like placing gazelle in a lion’s den. Sooner or later instinct is going to take over.”
“You were stalking us,”
I snapped. “You came right out of the shadows, which means you were hiding in them.”
“When I heard you two talking in the hallway,”
he shot back.
“Put. Him. Down.”
Giovanni’s voice carried a controlled fury, like a storm restrained by sheer force of will.
I was finished waiting for Baron to comply. Knowing how much I repulsed him—and the fact Giovanni was right there—I limped forward, bringing my scent closer.
But I’d caught the way Giovanni glanced at my leg.
Baron clenched his jaw, clearly trying not to breathe.
Giovanni moved in slowly, his daggers gripped tightly, his expression growing darker. Then he raised his right hand and tucked the edge of the blade under Baron’s chin. When Giovanni spoke, it was slow and menacingly low. “Put him down or not even your memory will survive me.”
My breaths grew shallow as my veins filled with ice. Memories of being on Osiris’s table, of that fucking knife carving into my body surfaced.
That deadly, sinister voice still haunted my dreams. The way the demon cut into my body, asking how it felt with that velvety tone that was filled with pure enjoyment.
A trickle of sweat slid down my temple as I started shaking. Osiris had returned a month ago, but for one fractured second, the past and present blurred. My mind screamed that it was Osiris’s hand curled around Dane’s shirt, Osiris’s grip lifting him off the ground. The memory of being helpless, of knowing no one would save me, made bile rise in my throat.
Despite knowing the demon was dead, killed by Giovanni himself, my brain refused to acknowledge the fact.
My gaze met Dane’s, and I saw he was reliving his nightmares too. His blue eyes were glazed, his lips parted. I barely heard Baron’s voice anymore. The edges of my vision dimmed as phantom pain licked at my scars, every nerve in my body anticipating the cold bite of a blade that wasn’t even there.
I felt Dane’s terror like it was my own.
It was my own.
A deafening roar forced me back from the brink. Malachi stalked down the hallway toward us, his wings expanded, the hilt of his sword gripped firmly.
Dane hit the floor when Baron released him. He cried out, cradling his wrist to his chest. That single, pitiful sound caused Malachi’s features to twist in pain for a single breath, revealing the depth of his love for the guy.
Giovanni spun, curling his body around mine, shielding me from whatever Malachi had just done. His warmth surrounded me, his strength pressing in like a long-ago promise to keep me safe.
But I wasn’t na?ve this time.
He could bury himself inside of me, wrap me in his arms for eternity, and it still wouldn’t bring back what I’d lost.
The demon hadn’t just carved up my body.
He’d stolen the one thing I couldn’t get back.
My sense of safety.
“If you ever hesitate again, may god have mercy on your soul, brother,”
Malachi snarled.
Every muscle in Giovanni’s body tightened. He uncurled from around me and faced Malachi. “I warned you about turning our home into a sanctuary, so don’t you fucking dare pin this on me, brother .”
I spun, my gaze flicking to Dane. He was curled in Malachi’s arm, holding his wrist, the glazed look still in his eyes. He was still trapped in his head, and I knew exactly how he felt.
The past hadn’t fully released me either. I could still feel its claws digging deep inside of me.
But I wasn’t gonna let it break me. For years I’d held it together, sometimes by a fingernail, until my tormentor had returned.
If the brothers were about to get into it, I wasn’t sticking around. Their fights were epic, but so was my migraine. It was amazing how much testosterone vampires had. Their tempers, egos, and superiority complexes were suffocating most times.
Right now, I wasn’t in the mood to choke on it.
My gaze landed on Baron who was lying lifeless on the floor, his throat shredded. I really wished I hadn’t looked.
Pain still pulsed down one leg and around my midsection when I turned and walked away. The limp had gotten worse, but I pushed through it, gritting my teeth while heading down the hallway.
Vampires drank blood to heal. I wasn’t a vampire. Being immortal meant I wouldn’t die from old age or disease, but I would have to heal the human way. I felt trapped between two worlds, caught in the worst of both.
Alone. In my bedroom. Locked away by myself as usual. Not cradled in the arms of someone who looked at me like they couldn’t breathe a second without me.
The pain grew worse as I walked, cursing that Dane had slid so far away.
By the time I made it to my door, my leg was ready to give out. I ground my teeth and let myself in. Just before the door closed, it swung inward toward me, then swerved back the other way, clicking shut.
Despite not seeing anyone enter my room, I’d lived here too long and knew better. “I don’t recall inviting you in, Giovanni.”
A quick glance over my shoulder revealed an empty room. Doors didn’t just open or close on their own.
“I’m not in the mood to play games,”
I said to the empty space in front of me. Vampires couldn’t turn invisible, but they could hide in the shadows.
Just like Baron had.
Giovanni’s approach was felt more than heard. The faint disturbance of air was the only sign he was there.
“You’re hurt.”
His voice felt like a caress, grazing places words weren’t supposed to reach.
“I’ll live.”
My swallow sounded loud in the quiet room.
“What were you two doing in the hallway?”
There was a faint edge to his voice.
“Last I checked, I wasn’t a prisoner.”
If I didn’t sit, I would fall. My leg was trembling now, tiny needles traveling up and down the limb while it throbbed at the same time.
I must’ve hit the floor harder than I originally thought. Thank god I hadn’t whacked my head and passed out. I braced myself, expecting him to argue, to lecture. Instead, the world tilted, and I was suddenly off the ground.
“I can walk on my own,”
I loudly protested, hating how good it felt pressed against him. I could feel every swell of muscle as he moved, the heat of his body sinking into me.
He ran his hand through my hair, nice and easy. He found something inside me, some desperate wildness I hadn’t even known was there. He made me want things, made me want to forget about my monstrous body and simply give in to the reckless desire that always consumed me whenever he was near me.
With tenderness, he placed me on the bed on my stomach. I started to ask what he was doing but then felt his hands kneading my leg like he was commanding the muscles to bring me relief. His touch was fueling my ache, turning it into a fire that threatened to burn me alive.
My cock hardened, throbbing as his hands worked their way up my thigh, igniting every nerve with molten pleasure that made my entire body tremble as he massaged my hip, then my lower back.
The bed dipped, bearing his weight, and now he was settled between my legs, the pressure of his hands firm but gentle. For so long I’d dreamed of him touching me, of Giovanni in my bed. Never had I thought it would become a reality.
He kneaded the spot that had struck the floor. I whimpered. His fingers eased back, trailing to my other hip. The massage was thorough, making me feel like I was floating along, adrift in his touch.
Until the brush of his fingers caused the hem of my shirt to rise up my back. My entire being went still as my breathing grew shallow. I wanted to yell at him to get off me, but the words were nailed to my throat, driving spikes of fear into my brain.
I didn’t want Giovanni to see my shame, but kept still, hoping I would suddenly sink into the mattress and disappear.
The massage had started out feeling amazing, fantastic, incredible, but now I lay there, my face buried in my arms, refusing to acknowledge Giovanni was even there.
Warm hands slid under my shirt, gliding over my ravaged skin. A tremor shot through me, so violent I nearly gasped.
“Stop!”
I gritted my teeth, holding back tears, balling my hands into fists. “Just…stop… please. ”
How could he stomach to touch someone so hideous? For a long moment, Giovanni didn’t say anything. I couldn’t even hear him breathing.
Then he leaned over my back and asked me in a soft, slow tone, “Are you asking me to stop because you don’t want me?”
Was the guy… What? I scooted up until he was no longer between my legs before I slipped out of bed. The bed felt too small now, too suffocating, like it was closing in on me. “You should just go.”
But my heart was begging him to stay. I just wanted my old life back, would give anything to feel normal again. My chest ached so badly that I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs until I’d purged all the pain from inside of me.
His blue eyes darkened, not with anger but with something I couldn’t name. Something unshakable.
“Why can’t you answer a simple question?”
Giovanni moved with the grace of a vampire, gliding off the bed in one beautifully orchestrated movement.
I couldn’t even remember what the question was. Standing so close to such beauty had my thoughts racing in every direction.
“I just”—I swallowed, curling my arms around myself—“don’t want to talk about it.”
How could someone like him understand my struggle? His body was flawless, while mine looked like a train had not only wrecked but had caught fire and exploded.
“Just say it,”
Giovanni argued. “Just say you don’t want me and I’ll leave you alone, Kyson.”
“Is this some kind of sick joke?”
I shouted, my fists clenched. Giovanni had a dark side. I wasn’t stupid enough to ignore that part of him, but he’d never been cruel to me. It felt like he was taunting me, and if he was, the last vestige of warmth I’d felt would be ripped away.
Something flickered in his eyes. “Is this about your body?”
“Give the man a fucking prize,”
I said bitterly.
“You think I care about your scars, Kyson?”
he asked as if I was being ridiculous.
“It figures.”
I gestured toward him. “You couldn’t possibly understand.”
I took a step back when his features darkened. I’d never seen him turn his malice on me, and it was downright frightening.
“Someone like me ? What does that exactly mean? Someone whose soul is so black it eats the light? Or maybe someone who thinks his past atrocities makes him undeserving of love, Kyson? You’re physically scarred, but I’m eternally damned. So if we’re comparing scars, don’t judge only the outside, little bird.”
He was right. All these years, I had looked at him as someone who couldn’t be defeated, but I’d never considered what he had gone through or what ticked on the inside.
I should have, at least, after the small glimpse I’d had into his past. “I’m sorry.”
“You rose from the ashes like a phoenix.”
He stepped closer. “You are powerful in mind, spirit, and body. A warrior was born from your trauma, and you fought your way back.”
He cupped my cheek. “How could you not be the most beautiful man I’ve ever met?”
My lips parted. I had no idea he saw me that way. I’d been so busy pushing him away, I never saw the real Giovanni.
A vampire with centuries of trauma, simply looking for solace.