Chapter Ten
Kyson
Random images continuously popped into my mind, like a TV show on mute. A cat in a litter box. Flipping off Osiris. Shoving Dane through the shimmer. And barbeque ribs lying in the grass. I remembered all of those events occurring at some point in my life, except the one with a tiny dog skateboarding down the street.
No idea where that one had come from.
Why was I dreaming about fragments of my life? It hadn’t been great, and I didn’t need to be reminded of it.
I scrunched my nose when I felt small electrical “pops”
in my head. They weren’t painful, but they definitely shouldn’t be there either.
Weird.
Gradually, I opened my eyes, and recognized that I was in my room. The last memory I had was gathering the things I would need for my boss-ass turkey sandwich. Then…
I gazed up at the ceiling as I tried to make sense of everything. Hallway. The silent conversation I’d had with myself about confessing my deep love for Giovanni, but fear always smacked the words back down my throat. Okay, good so far. The kitchen. Toppings.
The mustard. The mustard bottle. I’d been terrified of mustard. What? That made no sense. Backtrack, Kyson. The toppings.
The mustard.
Why was my mind stuck on the damn mustard? I shut my eyes, took a few calm breaths, yet all that kept surfacing was that annoying mustard.
And fear. Terrifying fear. The “pops”
in my head made it hard to concentrate.
Mustard.
Fear.
Sandwich.
Giovanni.
Running like a chicken from him right after we’d made love.
Mustard.
Fear.
Sandw— My eyes snapped open as I clutched my neck. The vampire! He’d sank his fangs into me. Greedily drinking. Then I’d grown cold.
Had I died?
If you died, you wouldn’t be lying here playing “connect the fragmented dots.”
You would be dead.
But… there hadn’t been a doubt in my mind I was about to die. How had I gotten away?
And why had I heard a whistle before I blacked out? The noise hadn’t come from the vampire, because he’d had his lips halfway inside my neck.
Feeling like I was in some bizarre dream, I glanced around my room. Then my gaze lowered to my bed. Giovanni seated in one of the wooden chairs from my small dining table. His upper body was sprawled across my bed, his face nestled in his folded arms.
A weight settled in my chest at the sight of him lying there. What was he doing here? Why wasn’t he curled around me instead of sleeping in the most uncomfortable position imaginable?
Was he upset that I’d left after we’d had sex? Even if he was, that wouldn’t explain why he was sitting next to my bed like a hospital visitor.
Wait.
Vampires didn’t sleep.
Which meant Giovanni was awake. I had no freaking clue what to think. This was so out of character for him. Reaching out, I brushed my fingers over his hair, noticing how disheveled it appeared.
I jerked my hand away when his head shot up. A gasp escaped me. He was always impeccably groomed whenever I saw him.
But this man? His eyes were bloodshot, puffy, and there were dark circles beneath them. What stunned me the most was a few days’ worth of growth along his jaw. Not once had I ever seen him with facial hair.
Honestly, kinda looked hot on him. The scruff gave him a more rugged appearance.
Tearing my eyes away, my gaze wandered to his hair. Dark strands framed his face, grazing his nape, the natural curls forming in unpredictable waves that softened the otherwise sharp edges of his presence. I’d lost count of how many times I’d wanted to run my fingers through the silky strands.
But it looked as if he’d already done that a million times over. Tufts stuck out everywhere, and what was going on with his clothes? They held more wrinkles than a shar pei.
But none of that compared to the look in his eyes. Something almost pleading sat in his gaze, raw, undone, like a single thread was keeping him from unraveling.
This was Giovanni completely exposed.
We just gazed at each other, but… it was as if he was absorbing every detail of my face for some reason.
My hand patted the bed and he was there, wrapping his strong body around me, simply holding me close.
Dread pooled in my stomach, especially when I noticed his slight trembling Thoughts began to flood my mind more quickly, and I struggled to concentrate on anything in my room. My eyes kept darting around, as though they were looking for something, but I already knew... “I really died, didn’t I?”
His arms tightened, his chin resting on my shoulder.
“Giovanni?”
I hesitated, unsure if I wanted to hear the truth, but I needed to know. “That vampire killed me, didn’t he?”
Air shoved past my lips too fast, too sharp, my chest barely expanding before the next breath forced its way out. The room wavered around me, edges blurring.
“Please, petit oiseau, don’t make me answer.”
His warmth pressed into me, but it couldn’t stop the cold creeping through my skin.
I rested my trembling hands on his back, my cheek on his shoulder, unable to think.
The vampire had killed me.
I died.
“How long h-have I s-slept?”
I swallowed roughly, trying my hardest to think of something else, anything else, but my brain refused to cooperate. My chest felt like it had collapsed inward, every breath jagged and shallow.
“Two days.”
A slight tremor ran through his voice.
“How long have you been at my bedside?”
I’d started to rub his back without realizing it.
“Two days.”
Giovanni had stayed with me the entire time. I couldn’t begin to imagine what he’d gone through when I...
I died.
This had to be a bad dream. Any moment I would wake up to find I’d dozed after we’d made love. But why would I dream of… something like that? Although I’d suffered throughout my life, I’d never had a morbid imagination.
My focus strayed to the wall past his shoulder where I had a small bookshelf. I glanced over the spines, trying to concentrate on the titles, trying to give my mind something else to latch onto besides the kitchen.
I died.
The trembling in my hands spread, rippling through me until every limb shook.
I died.
A strange noise caught in my throat, but I forced myself to pay attention to the books.
The sound refused to die, growing until it spilled out as a whimper. The shaking deepened, unraveling into unsteady tremors.
I died.
The whimpers stretched, rising higher until they broke into keening.
Giovanni pulled me closer, as if afraid the tremors might tear me from his arms.
“I died!”
I-I couldn’t breathe. The keening broke into a wail.
Tremors wracked me, forcing him to pin me down. I thrashed, clawing at him, desperate to escape the corner.
Giovanni wasn’t going to make it in time!
“No!”
I screamed at the top of my lungs, swinging blindly. His hands locked on me, those teeth gleaming under the kitchen light. He was going to have to fight for what he wanted to take.
My life.
“Giovanni!”
I wanted to feel his arms around me, to hear him say he loved me, to make me feel whole again. To look at me in reverence, like I was his everything, because he was mine.
“I’m right here, petit oiseau .”
His voice broke, thick with desperation, but I couldn’t see him!
Hands tightened on me. I fought harder, limbs flailing, desperate to land every blow I could. “I won’t let you kill me! Giovanni!”
“I’m right here, Kyson!”
I collapsed, curling into a ball, my body racking with sobs. Warmth enveloped me, as someone else’s cries filled the space around me.
“Please, Kyson. I’m right here. I’m holding you. Loving you so fucking deeply it hurts. Please, look at me. See me.”
Arms embraced me, anchored me, refusing to let me go. I needed the warmth of the solid body against me. I needed to hear that deep voice. Smell his scent. Feel those strong hands.
I blinked, afraid to believe what I saw. “I’m-I’m in my bedroom, not the kitchen. This is my room. My bed. He’s not here. I’m alive. In my bedroom, not the kitchen.”
“Your bed. You’re alive. He’s dead.”
I turned my head and gazed into Giovanni’s puffy, blue eyes.
He was crying blood-red tears.
He was crying, gazing at me with so much anguish in his eyes.
Giovanni Winterhaven was openly crying.
For me.
Because of me.
“I love you. I love you so much, Giovanni,”
I said through my tears. “I’ve loved you for years but was too terrified to say… to say… say it, because I feared you’d abandon me just like everyone I cared about has.”
He cradled my face gently in his hands and simply stared at me. The longer he did, my breathing slowed and the chaos inside my head settled.
“The only way you’re getting rid of me is if you tell me to leave, and even then, I will fight for us with my last breath, little bird.”
“I’m in m-my bedroom.”
“You’re in your bedroom, safe in my arms, Kyson.”
His thumbs brushed my cheeks, his warm palms chasing away my chills.
“He’s d-dead?”
Something passed behind his eyes that I couldn’t read. “Yes.”
There was more to that answer, but I didn’t want to know. I was barely holding on as it was.
“And I’m alive.”
It was more of a statement to convince myself this was real.
A tidal wave of pain and regret filled his eyes. He swallowed, his gaze never leaving mine. “Yes.”
His voice quivered. “You’re alive, sweetheart.”
It was more instinct than thought when I reached out, pulling Giovanni into my arms. He lay his head on my chest like he was listening to my heart beat. I stroked his hair, grounding myself in his presence, using him as my lifeline to sanity.
“You were my first.”
Slowly, Giovanni raised his head, staring incredulously at me. “Why didn’t you tell me? I took you—”
“Exactly how I wanted you to. I didn’t want you to treat me like some delicate flower.”
The side of my mouth curled. “I told you to fuck me like you meant it, and you did.”
“I just wish—”
“That you gave me the best experience of my life?”
I tucked strands of hair behind his ear, my fingers lingering. “You were beyond my expectations. Now, if you don’t mind, I would really love a shower.”
The possessive look that entered his eyes stole my breath. Wild, raw, and full of so much love. Gently, he lifted me from the bed, carried me to my bathroom, then set me on my feet. I stood at the long counter, two huge mirrors above it. Unsteady on my feet, I had to grip the counter.
Standing behind me, Giovanni gripped the hem of my shirt, but I placed my trembling hands over his.
“You are the most beautiful man in the world, petit oiseau ,”
he said to my reflection, love shimmering in his eyes. I wanted to believe him so badly. Even after everything I’d just gone through, even deciding to not let the trauma ruin this moment, I was still afraid. Because how Giovanni saw me was everything.
I gave a single nod then moved my hands away from his. Through the mirror, he locked gazes with me, lifting my shirt up and off, but I refused to look at myself.
I never did when I was in the bathroom. The less I saw of my scars, the more I could pretend they didn’t exist.
Giovanni’s gaze lowered, and I had an urge to cover myself with my arms. His brows lifted slightly. I closed my eyes, unable to bear what he saw.
“Open your eyes, Kyson.”
Blowing out a long, slow breath, I opened them. Then I gasped, surprised to see how much my scars had faded. The biggest one, stretching from my collarbone to my waist, no longer resembled a line of putty laid across my skin. It was flush against me instead of being raised. My gaze shot to his. “How?”
He slid his arms around my waist, bending to rest his chin on my shoulder. “Richard is a phoenix.”
My jaw dropped. I knew he wasn’t human or a vampire, but I never would have guessed he was… “What does he have to do with my scars?”
Dick was a phoenix. Now I wanted to go see him. A phoenix. My mind was blown, but in a good way this time. As many hours as I’d spent with him, I was actually kicking it with a bird.
Instead of answering me, Giovanni brushed his lips against my shoulder, causing me to shiver. “Shower.”
“Avoiding the question.”
I tilted my head as his lips grazed my skin. Then he lowered himself behind me, taking my pajama pants and underwear with him. My breath caught when I felt him kiss each cheek. The rush of sensation made my heart hammer, stealing the breath from my lungs as my body arched into the moment.
“Lift your legs.”
When he spoke, it was with a rough edge, smooth enough to entice but burning just enough to leave a mark.
I did as he asked, then he straightened and turned on the shower. I stood there, cock hard, watching as he stripped. His chiseled muscles were taut and perfectly sculpted, each inch revealed leaving me breathless.
Giovanni gripped my hips in a gentle hold, leading me into the stall. He positioned himself right behind me as the water cascaded down our bodies. Then he turned me around, the water soaking my hair. His fingers worked the shampoo, massaging my scalp slowly. I surrendered completely to his touch, enveloped in a haze of sensation.
He rinsed the shampoo from my hair, then lathered my body, the cloth gliding sensuously over my skin. I’d never experienced anything like this before, having someone wash me, each stroke sending ripples of pleasure through my body.
I moaned deeply when his tongue traced a path down my crease, teasingly swirling around my puckered entrance. My body trembled with anticipation, then I felt the slick warmth of his tongue exploring deep within my tight ring of muscle. Giovanni's tongue expertly teased and probed, sending waves of pleasure through me that threatened to overwhelm my senses. I reached behind me, gripping his shoulders for support as he brought me closer and closer to the edge.
Just as I was about to reach my peak, he pulled away, leaving me panting and wanting more. He spun me around again, pressing my back against the cool tile of the shower wall. His eyes blazed with hunger as he looked down at me, and I knew that he was going to take me right there. He reached for the bottle of lube tucked on a shelf, wetting his fingers before slowly pushing them inside me. I gasped at the intrusion, my body tensing around him as he began to thrust his fingers.
The sensation was overwhelming, but in the best possible way. I could feel myself opening up to him, my body eager for more. I moaned as he added a second finger, stretching me wider. The feeling was intense, but it was nothing compared to the pleasure building within me.
“Do you know how much I cherish being your first?”
There was a smoky rasp to his voice, rough and rich, like the first sip of bourbon. I stared lazily at him, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth. Already, I was close to the edge, trembling. Giovanni was a presence that consumed me, wrapped around me in an overpowering way. In that moment, he made me feel drugged and desired, causing my body to ache for him.
I gasped as his fingers probed deeper. Everything in me tensed, and I was close to falling over the edge. But just as I was about to climax, he pulled his fingers free, leaving me gasping for breath.
“Stop teasing me,”
I whimpered.
He nipped my jaw, lips brushing my ear as he rumbled, “If I give you what you want now, you won’t be able to handle what comes next.”
“Oh, fuck.”
My head rocked to the side.
He slid his lips over my neck before whispering, “Wrap your legs around me, beautiful.”
Gripping my hips, he helped me up, then my legs curled around his waist. With one swift thrust, he entered me, filling me completely. I cried out in pleasure, my back pressing against the cool tile as he began to move inside of me.
“I will never lose you again,”
he snarled, driving his cock deeper into my ass. I dug my nails into his back, each thrust sending waves of pleasure crashing through me. “My petit oiseau .”
He pressed a kiss to my neck. “I love you deeper than the marrow in my bones, as vast as the skies you were meant to soar. My love will burn for you until the end of time.”
“Go head,”
I cried out, arching my back. “Feed from me.”
Giovanni sank his fangs into my tender flesh, my climax tearing me apart. But more importantly, he replaced the violation with love, with reverence instead of pain.
He snarled as he drank from me, his cock pulsing inside of me. Giovanni eased his fangs free, licked the pinpricks, then cupped my face. “I was ready to walk into the sun, Kyson. I can’t live this life if you’re not by my side.”
Tears fell as I hugged him tightly. “I’m sorry you had to go through that pain.”
The thought of him stepping into sunlight was unbearable. Giovanni’s soul was too beautiful to be lost. He had endured so much over his lifetime, and all I wanted for him was to be happy. “I love you just as deeply.”
* * * *
I stood just outside the kitchen door, watching Dick move around, cooking what smelled like fried chicken. The spices filled the air, making my mouth water, but I couldn’t bring myself to enter. Not after losing my life in this very room. A room that had always brought me comfort now brought me pain, and I hated that vampire for taking that from me. I’d spent endless hours in there, most of the time just grounding myself in Dick’s quiet company. The windows were just across the room, yet I couldn’t even feel the breeze ruffling my hair or smell the honeysuckle.
A part of me had truly died in there.
I wanted it back, but…
Arms wrapped around me, yanking me backward. I screamed, ready to fight for my life, but when I turned, Dane stood there, wearing a huge smile.
“Warn a guy before you assault him!”
I pressed my hand over my thrashing heart.
Tears filled his eyes, then he tackle-hugged me, squeezing me until I felt like I was going to pop. Instead of pushing him away or cracking some joke… I curled my arms around…my friend. I simply held him as he cried, stroking his hair.
The thought of what Giovanni had gone through wrecked me, but Dane… A friend I hadn’t known I desperately needed. I’d shut him out when we should have been healing together.
Never again.
Finally, he pulled back and wiped at his eyes. “You’re not allowed to die again. It’s now a decree.”
I chuckled but inwardly cringed at the word “die”. Right now, it was the last thing I wanted to think about. “Oh yeah?”
I arched a brow. “Who made this decree?”
“I did.”
Malachi strode toward us, his wings expanded, and I started to backpedal. Why did he always have to look so fierce? Jesus. Dane needed to teach him how to smile more often. That resting prince of darkness face was what nightmares were made of and I had an overwhelming urge to run.
“Ack!”
He actually wrapped his damn arms around me! Was he hugging me or were we about to wrestle? If we were, I wished I had Giovanni’s daggers with me. I kept my arms spread, unsure what to do.
Malachi. Was. Hugging. Me. What the fuck? Was the world ending?
He squeezed me just a little before releasing me. My heart was beating so fast I should’ve had a heart attack. “Don’t let that go to your head.”
With a scowl, Dane slapped him. “You just had to make it awkward, didn’t you?”
It was awkward the moment he’d curled his arms around me. I never wanted him to do that again.
My head turned when I spotted Dick standing in the doorway. I’d never thought of just how important his quiet presence meant to me over the years. How I would sit in the kitchen, hiding from the world, and he was just… there. How his cooking had grounded me in such an impactful way. How I never felt fear or ashamed when he shared a space with me.
“Glad to see you up and around.”
I launched myself at him, hugging him as hard as I could. “Thank you for… everything. No one could ask for a better friend.”
Giovanni had finally told me how Dick had saved me, although he refused to go into details. I didn’t need details. I needed to hug my BFF. He’d always been there for me, my constant, always ready to catch me if I needed him to. And he’d given me the biggest catch of all.
I loved the shit out of Dick.
Hesitantly, he patted my back. “That’s what friends are for, right?’
Giovanni finally told me what had happened, how Dick had saved my life. There weren’t any words to convey how I felt.
“Either stop hugging the male or we find out if he really rises from the ashes.”
I rolled my eyes at the sound of Giovanni behind me. There was no heat in his words, but I pulled back just the same. I didn’t want to find out just how deep his worship ran. But if he hurt Dick, he would feel my wrath.
Speaking of… Dick walked into the kitchen, then returned with a rolling cart. On it was fried chicken and biscuits. Then he brought out a folding table and two chairs.
“Nope.”
Dane and I shook our heads. “We need another chair. You’re sitting with us, Di-chard.”
This was my family, my universe, and I cared deeply for them. They had gone through hell to bring me back, and I would cherish their friendship and love always. I was no longer alone, isolated and hurting. They’d been there all along. I was just in too much pain to see what was right in front of me.
Giovanni hugged me from behind. My warlord. My solace. The one who had never let go, even when I had nothing left to hold on to. He had stood in the fire with me, unshaken, relentless, loving me through every shattered piece. And now, I would spend the rest of my life proving that no matter how deep his darkness ran, my love would run even deeper.
THE END