Chapter 26 Raven
TWENTY-SIX
RAVEN
Ineeded a One-Night Stands for Dummies book that would clarify whether I was currently experiencing a walk of shame. If I asked Aiden, he would no doubt claim it was a betrayal. Either way, I wasn’t about to stick around to find out.
“So damn confusing,” I muttered under my breath as the crisp morning air bit into my skin.
The City of Light’s paved sidewalks welcomed the clacking of my sky-high Jimmy Choos. I peered around and crossed my arms over my chest, trying to decide how embarrassed I should be at my disheveled appearance.
I adjusted my dress, ensuring it wouldn’t slide off me thanks to the tear my husband caused.
“Five years,” I whispered, the words tasting bitter on my tongue as goose bumps surged across my skin. “Five years down the drain.”
I’d spent them clawing my way out of despair and loss, forcing myself to keep going despite losing both my mom and the man I’d fallen for. And it all vanished the moment I saw Aiden again.
One goddamn look, and everything came crashing down.
It had taken me years to strip the memory of him from my dreams. And yet, with one encounter, he unearthed everything.
And now, my traitorous heart pulsed again. With longing, with grief, with guilt so sharp it stole the breath from my lungs.
I hated that part of me still ached for something real with that man. But love wasn’t logical. It lingered, even when my world shattered around me.
He and his family led my ruthless father right to us, right to my mother. They might as well have signed her death certificate. And no matter how I spun the events from five years ago, I couldn’t forget that—hence the guilt.
Aiden only married me for the access and power my last name could give him. I was a means to an end for his family.
And yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there’d been something real developing between us before the betrayal.
Maybe that’s what stung the most as I put more and more distance between us. The idea of what could have been and never would be.
I sped up, literally running from the past, before my gaze snagged on a familiar figure in the distance.
I smiled and slowed my pace, the relief so palpable I tasted it on my tongue.
From the looks of it, Athena had had a wild night too.
I headed toward her, waving like a fool and waiting for her to spot me.
When she didn’t, I took off into a run, ignoring the protest from my thighs and feet, and wrapped my hands around her waist from behind.
“Fuck,” she hissed, whirling around and bringing a hand to her heart. She let out a sigh when she realized it was me. “You scared me, Raven.”
I shot her a playful expression.
“Maybe you should be scared. I’ve been stalking you for the past five minutes and you didn’t notice me.”
“Taking up stalking now, are we?” she said, narrowing her eyes as they raked over me. “Where are you coming from anyway?”
I shrugged. “I ran into… someone and decided to scratch an itch.”
She raised her brow, waiting for me to elaborate, and I saw the moment she realized, her features crumbling.
“Not Aiden Callahan,” she breathed, but the look in my eyes was her answer.
I hadn’t told my friends about the short, chaotic marriage or the reckless choices that followed it.
However, they’d always known there were parts of what happened in New York that I kept to myself.
What I did share with my best friends was my need to disappear.
After my mother’s death, I didn’t have the strength to stand on my own.
They became my lifeline, the only people I trusted enough to see me through when I was barely holding it together.
When the grief hit hard, they were the ones who stayed. They sat with me through nights when I couldn’t breathe, when the silence felt heavier than my own skin. They didn’t try to fix me; they just made space for me to break and rebuild.
For the past five years, they’d covered for me when necessary. Over time and in between heartbreaks, late-night confessions, and half-hearted laughter, I let slip pieces of the truth of my time with Aiden. Just enough where they knew it was too dangerous for me to ever rekindle anything with him.
And still, they’d never wavered in their friendship. They stood by me, even when I was a wreck and a storm with baggage they didn’t need.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told them about the more experimental side of that chapter, but what kind of friend would I have been if I’d kept something so outrageous to myself? Besides, they’d earned my honesty. They’d earned every messy, complicated part of me.
“Jesus, it must have been a full moon last night,” she added, muttering.
I slipped my hand into hers and we resumed walking. “Why? Did you hook up with a mafioso too?”
Her wry look was my answer.
“Oh my gosh, you did!”
She sighed. “Why do you sound so proud?”
My lips curved into a smile. “I don’t know. Maybe it makes me feel better about myself.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“So how was it? Who was it?” I pried, shifting the focus to my best friend and away from myself. It was easier to escape my reality that way. But Athena was taking too long to answer, so I blurted, “Fuck, my feet hurt and my pussy’s wrecked.”
We shared a glance, then burst into a fit of giggles.
“I guess I know how your night was,” she said, grinning. “And before you ask for more details, mine was about the same as yours. Damn mobsters. I swear, they must feed something to those men that makes them irresistible.”
I bumped my shoulder against hers. “Well, maybe it’ll be the inspiration you’ve been searching for.”
A wistful exhale passed her lungs. “You have no idea.”
I giggled. “I can’t wait to read all about it.”
“By the way, did you get a message from Reina?”
My stomach dropped. Of course, I ignored it because of my unexpected rendezvous with my husband who thought me dead. Plus, he threatened my best friends, so I thought it best not to answer Reina’s text.
But I didn’t think admitting that my husband threatened all my friends would go over well, so I just muttered, “Yeah, but then Aiden kissed me and I forgot all about her. Damn, that man has got moves.”
It wasn’t exactly a lie. His kisses and touches were out of this world. And yes, lying to them was wrong—I hated it—but what good would it do to make them worry? I could handle Aiden. His threats were directed at me, and I already knew I’d do whatever he asked if it meant keeping them safe.
“He’s that good, huh?” she questioned, smiling.
“So good that I could orgasm just by his tongue, and fuck, he also uses that in all kinds of ways.”
She let out an exasperated breath.
“Well, you wouldn’t believe how I embarrassed myself.” I shot her a curious glance as she continued. “I got really enthusiastic and told my man I wanted to ride him like a rodeo.”
I blinked, the meaning of her words slowly sinking in before I burst into a full-blown laugh, tears lining my eyes.
“Don’t worry, I’d laugh too,” she muttered. “You should have seen the way he gaped at me.”
I wiped tears from my eyes and said, “I’m sorry, I’m picturing it and…”
More giggles bubbled in my chest and burst from my lips. I could always count on my friends to cheer me up in any situation.
“I’m assuming he wasn’t an American,” I remarked with a smile, still catching my breath.
She rolled her eyes. “No, Italian. I realize now that rodeos are probably not a thing over there.”
“Apparently not.”
Athena tilted her head, studying me with her keen gaze and probably seeing more than I wanted her to. She reached for my arm and squeezed it gently.
“Do you think it’s smart to get involved with the head of the Callahan mafia?” she asked somberly. “Trouble follows the mafiosos wherever they go. And we all know how things ended last time.”
She didn’t know exactly how it ended, except that I was heartbroken.
Aiden was my first love, although I wasn’t quite sure I could call it love.
Maybe great affection? I didn’t know, but I knew there was no chance in hell I could admit all that.
And I certainly couldn’t tell her that he forced me to leave the bar with him.
Not that I resisted him much, and fuck, I couldn’t muster the energy to regret my night of sex with him.
I poked her in the side and grinned, eager to pivot topics. “You’re supposed to be the romantic one.”
“I am, but you need to ask yourself whether Aiden Callahan is a man you can have no-strings sex with.”
God, it was too fucking late for that.
“I won’t fall for him again,” I murmured, then waggled my brows. “I can’t help that he’s obsessed with my golden pussy.”
Athena grinned. “Yeah, what is it with these mafiosos being obsessed with us?”
I bit my lip, unable to resist pulling her leg. “It’s probably all your talk about riding a donkey.”
She snorted. “I didn’t say donkey.”
I waved my hand, dismissing her words. “Minor detail.”
She snort-laughed. “Last time I checked, there were no donkeys at the rodeo.”
“There are plenty of asses frequenting it, though.”
She grinned. “Don’t tell me you have something against cowboys.”
I shrugged, shaking my head, and she shot me a smug look. “You prefer mobsters.”
“Apparently so do you,” I remarked pointedly. “From the way you look properly sexed up, I bet you’d go another round with your Italian mobster.”
We laughed, although I had a feeling those mobsters would have the last laugh.
Phoenix, Athena, and I were huddled on the couch, still in last night’s clothes, yawning like survivors of a too-good time. The only one still missing from last night’s festivities was Isla.
A soft jingle of keys broke the morning haze, and all our heads snapped toward the door, half expecting her to just materialize in the living room and shift Reina’s motherly focus away from us. No such luck.