Chapter 30 Raven
THIRTY
RAVEN
It had been a month—six weeks to be exact—since the night I last saw Aiden. The night he took me to his penthouse and I gave him, or maybe he took, my virginity, almost didn’t feel real. I could easily convince myself that it was a dream, if not for the lingering worry of my late period.
Truthfully, I was surprised he’d left me alone, but deep down, I knew our story wasn’t finished because I would catch glimpses of his brothers in the most unexpected places, and once or twice, I swore I even saw Aiden himself.
What I couldn’t understand was why he’d given me space. Or time.
Now, Isla and her family had just dropped me and Athena off at the apartment from Reina’s engagement party, and I found myself heading straight for my bedroom, craving quiet.
My feet ached from the heels I wore and, frankly, so did my eyes. The girls and I had attempted to rebel against her marriage arrangement by wearing garments in all types of bright, obnoxious colors. Of course, it didn’t work, and we looked like clowns.
Reina’s fiancé’s persistence made my chest tighten with sympathy for her.
But that sympathy quickly turned inward, to the thought of my own husband—the man I’d left behind to think I was dead.
The thought alone sent my anxiety spiraling.
He was angry, I could feel it, and whatever this was… it was his way of making me pay.
Was this torment? Or something darker I couldn’t name? What was I supposed to do about him now?
A shudder crawled down my spine as filthy, unwelcome—or that’s what I kept telling myself—images filled my mind.
“Get it together, Raven,” I muttered, kicking off my heels. They hit the floor with a dull thud as I began pacing the perimeter of my bedroom.
I knew what I had to do, but I’d been putting it off for five days, praying and hoping my body would fix everything on its own. Five days of excuses.
I blamed it on stress, on excitement, on everything and anything but the truth. My husband and I.
Damn Aiden.
Damn the way he made me lose control.
Damn him and those amazing orgasms and unprotected sex.
How could I have been so stupid to forget about protection? Still, I couldn’t ignore the tight pull in my chest or the faint nausea churning in my stomach.
I headed for the bathroom, moving fast before I could talk myself out of it. The harsh overhead light buzzed, throwing sharp angles across the tiles. My reflection in the mirror stared back at me, pale and uncertain.
I dug through the first aid kit under the sink until my fingers closed around the slim box the girls and I kept stocked. It’d started out as a joke, but every few months it needed restocking. Now, it was more of a “don’t ask” situation.
My stomach twisted as I tore it open, unfolded the crinkled instructions, and forced myself to read every line like it was a legal document that could decide my fate.
“Okay,” I muttered, following the steps to the letter, my hands trembling despite my effort to remain calm.
A minute later, I snapped the cap on the stick, sealing away whatever truth it held, and headed back into the bedroom. I shoved the test into an old toiletry bag I’d been meaning to throw out.
“Five minutes,” I whispered into the quiet room, glaring at the thing like it had personally betrayed me. “Five minutes to find out just how stupid you are, Raven.”
I resumed my anxious pacing, bare feet whispering against the floorboards. My heart thudded too loudly in the quiet room. I tried to focus by taking measured breaths, but it wasn’t quite doing the trick.
Think positive. No, think negative. I let out a sharp laugh. “Right. Negative. Definitely negative.”
What were the odds of getting pregnant the same night I lost my virginity?
One minute down. Four to go.
The minutes stretched, filled with too many unknowns.
Maybe I should run. My gut warned that Aiden was up to something, and even worse, I feared that my libido might be on board. And that simply wouldn’t do.
I was working through various doom scenarios when I heard a faint thud. I froze, listening, and gave my head a subtle shake. Paranoid now too, Raven?
But then I heard it again.
It came from the window. A smart person would have run in the opposite direction, but the idiot I apparently was padded over to the window, my heart ricocheting in my chest. I stood there and watched the outline of a shadow appear at the French door.
I spun around to bolt, but I was too late. The glass doors busted open, hitting the wall with a thud, and a hand clamped around my waist.
I gasped, a scream rising in my throat.
“I wouldn’t recommend it,” Aiden murmured.
“What are you doing?” I breathed, my voice cracking.
“Taking back what’s mine.”
I remained frozen, ignoring my instinct to kick him in the balls.
Slowly, Aiden turned me around, his stare unwavering and his hold on my waist firm.
That last, sweet night we spent together right before the explosion flashed before my eyes, so many what-could-have-beens and happily-ever-afters lost to a series of unimaginable events.
My mom’s death left a toll, and living the last five years looking over my shoulder wasn’t easy. Yes, there were many events that my best friends and I went through that were reckless and stupid. But in the back of my mind, the fear that I was trying to outrun ghosts lingered.
The void my mom’s death left threatened to open. Pressure squeezed the oxygen from my lungs, threatening to suffocate me. The anxiety tightened around my throat, and I had to push it into a dark corner of my soul where my gnawing ache and terror lived.
“I’m not yours,” I rasped, my ears ringing with adrenaline. “I’ve never been yours.”
Aiden’s lips twisted in a cruel smile. “Our marriage certificate says otherwise.”
“You forced me to marry you,” I hissed. “You were… are too old for me. In fact, at this point you’re pretty much ancient. We have nothing in common. We were never meant to be.”
“See, I have to disagree, because your body tells me we are more than meant to be.”
“You’re delusional.”
“Call it what you will. Either way, you’re mine.”
His hot breath fanned across my face, making my thighs tremble. It only served to piss me off.
“Don’t be clingy, Aiden,” I spat. “It’s not a good look.”
His jaw clenched, the sound of his teeth grinding breaking the tension. “I’m not clingy. I just have the urge to lock you in my house and tie you to the bed, because the last time I let you go anywhere alone, you disappeared for five fucking years.”
I winced at the vulnerability in his voice and the betrayal etched on his face. But how dare he? He was the one who betrayed me. He didn’t lose someone he loved. I, on the other hand, lost the only family I’d ever had.
Aiden slid his hand in his pocket and pulled out his phone. He typed in his passcode, then showed me the screen. A video played, showing my girlfriends and me with Angelo Leone’s dead body, dismembering him and then taking him out of the apartment.
“How…” I couldn’t find the words or understand how he was able to retrieve something like that from inside our apartment.
He pocketed his phone. “Come with me and you won’t have to worry about it.”
“You can’t show that to anyone,” I whispered. Did he think I killed Angelo Leone, or was there more footage, and he knew it was Reina? God, if he showed this to Amon or Dante Leone… I didn’t dare think what would happen. “Aiden, promise me nobody else has this footage.”
He studied me, his eyes unwavering and cold. “I’m the only one who has this footage, and it’ll remain that way if you come with me.”