Chapter 48 Raven
FORTY-EIGHT
RAVEN
“Ineed details,” Tristan said, watching me. He was somewhat of a prisoner without shackles here, although I had no idea what Aiden was holding over his head.
“I have to issue a birth certificate, but I can’t do it without listing parents,” he continued.
Mom was resting in her cabin, still refusing to see or discuss the baby.
“She needs time to recover,” I told him, cradling the baby in my arms.
After the birth, we took a slight detour and stopped in Ireland. We’d been docked here for three days now. Aiden and his brothers handled business, visiting some of their warehouses in the country, but Aiden always returned early while his brothers stayed out looking to blow off some steam.
He definitely meant it when he said we’d do this together.
“I don’t think your mom will change her mind,” Tristan said, taking a seat in the salon.
Aiden and I wanted to adopt and name my baby brother, but it didn’t feel right proceeding without discussing it with Mom first. I was still holding out hope that the shock would wear off and she’d get healthy enough to realize that this baby wasn’t Duncan.
“She might,” I protested weakly, padding over to the cradle Aiden had delivered yesterday. I gently laid him in it, swaddled him in a blanket, then took a seat next to him.
“You’re a natural at this,” Tristan remarked, causing me to scoff.
“I don’t think so, but I’m learning.” I glanced at the sweet, plump face and felt my heart swell. “It’s not hard to love him, though.”
He let out a soft chuckle. “Call me when he’s a teenager.”
I smiled. “Gosh, I know. My friends and I were such trouble as teenagers.”
“I bet I have you beat in that department,” he retorted wryly, drawing my attention to him. “It’s the reason I’m here. I owe Aiden big-time.”
My eyebrows rose, but I didn’t question him. If he wanted to tell me, he would.
When he didn’t elaborate, I glanced at my phone, but strangely our girls’ group chat was as silent as my mom.
It made me worried for Reina and Phoenix.
Isla and Athena were in good hands, but the Romero sisters’ whereabouts were still a mystery, and I worried whether the Leone brothers would make or break them.
Amon had already broken Reina’s heart once.
Would he come through this time? If he did, I wasn’t sure where that left his brother, Dante, or Phoenix for that matter.
The door to the cabin opened, a gust of cold air sweeping in, and I quickly blocked the cradle with my body.
“Ah, mama bear in full mode,” was Aiden’s greeting as he shut the door behind him. “How is he?”
I huffed in mock-annoyance. “Shouldn’t you ask how I am first?”
He closed the distance between us in five strides and pressed a kiss on my lips. “How is my wife today?”
“Great,” I murmured, smiling against his mouth.
“Well, I know when I’m the third—or in this case, fourth—wheel.” Tristan cleared his throat, getting to his feet. “I’ll give you another day to decide who I should register as the parents, although the answer is plain to see.”
When he disappeared, Aiden said, “You haven’t talked to your mom yet?”
I shook my head. “Every time I go to her, she’s either asleep or silent. I hate upsetting her after she’s been through so much.”
He nodded in understanding. “I’ll have to let Tristan go. He has patients waiting in France, and I’ve been selfish in keeping him here. I just hoped we could settle it before he left.”
I glanced at the baby, sound asleep. Strangely, he didn’t feel like my brother, but he did feel like my blood.
Maybe he made the motherly instincts in me flare, or maybe my hormones were at work here.
It didn’t matter, because I’d protect him with my life, just as I would this baby growing inside me.
Aiden’s hand came to rest on my lower belly. “How are you feeling?”
“Good. No nausea or sickness.”
“Remarkable.”
I scoffed. “That’s what Tristan said too.”
Aiden stiffened. “Did he examine you?”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Don’t go all macho shit on me. No, he didn’t examine me. Although, if you must know, there’s a fifty-fifty chance the doctor who delivers our baby will be male.”
“A dead male,” he grumbled.
I patted his chest.
“It just came up in conversation,” I said, heading for the deck down below. “Why don’t I go check on Mom and you watch our baby boy?”
I froze mid-step and glanced over my shoulder in time to see Aiden grinning widely at me. “Like I said, mama bear.”
I found my mother lying on the couch, a linen blanket draped over her lap, her eyes sunken with fatigue. Her skin had regained some color, the bruises fading into pale yellow patches, but the light in her eyes was dimmer than ever.
I approached slowly, glancing at the tray of untouched food on the table next to her.
“You’re not eating,” I said gently.
“Not hungry.”
“You said that yesterday.”
She didn’t answer, so I sat beside her, folding my hands in my lap. “I hate seeing you like this. Please, tell me how to help.”
Yes, I should be talking to her about her baby boy, but I couldn’t find the strength to see her shut down on me again.
“You went back to him.”
Her voice didn’t ring with accusation, but I felt it anyhow.
“I didn’t. I just recently ran into him and…”
I trailed off, unsure what to even say, but I knew I shouldn’t feel guilty. Aiden had helped me rescue her. He’d offered understanding even when I didn’t deserve it. Couldn’t she see that he was nothing like Duncan?
“For the past five years, ever since the day of the explosion,” I started slowly, “I’ve been hiding in plain sight, just like you told me to do.
I used the money from Aiden and the papers from the P.O.
box to leave the country. I was barely an adult, scared, terrified, and heartbroken. I thought you were dead.”
“I wasn’t, but I ensured Duncan thought you were.” Her voice was flat, emotionless. “I had to protect you.”
“But there was nobody to protect you,” I whispered.
“He was my sin, my mistake to endure and survive. You were innocent in all of it.”
A shudder rolled down my spine at the mere thought of what she’d endured over the past five years. It wasn’t fair, not after two decades of living on the run from that evil man.
“How did you survive the explosion?” I asked.
“After you escaped through the window, I ensured your ring was left behind and left out the front door.”
My eyes lowered to the same ring that had made it back to me and I rasped, “We should have run together. We should have kept each other safe. You should never have been subjected to him and his cruelty. If only…” My shoulders slumped, knowing there was no point to “if only” scenarios. She did what she thought was best.
“The guilt of leaving you behind ate at me every day,” I admitted, tears burning my eyes. But I wouldn’t cry. She was alive, and the bottom line was that my mom had saved my life.
“I knew your friends would be your support.” Her voice was low, her expression distant. “I was right, wasn’t I?”
“Yes, we’ve been through thick and thin.”
“The money… Was it enough?” she questioned.
I nodded. “I got a job while attending university, and eventually started earning money from my paintings.”
A ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. “I always knew you’d make it, baby.”
“But I hurt my husband.” My voice quivered. “He blamed himself for my death for five years. It was cruel.”
“You were too young,” she reasoned. “Maybe in hindsight it wasn’t fair, but you found a way back to him, so I guess it was meant to be.”
I struggled to find words or even make sense of all of this.
“Before the explosion, Aiden and I had started to grow close. He was thoughtful, unexpectedly kind… The kind of person who made it easy to forget the world for a while. But after everything that happened, forgetting him was impossible. I felt adrift—lost in a sea of guilt and confusion—haunted by your death and the truth about his deceit. I buried it all as deep as I could, hoping that if I pushed it far enough down, it might stop hurting. But it never did.”
Mom stayed silent, her face calm, almost detached. But I caught the subtle gulp, the faint tremble in her lips, and the guilt pierced through me. I shouldn’t have said that. I wasn’t supposed to be the one hurting her. I was supposed to take care of her now.
“I’m sorry, Mom. You’ve sacrificed so much for me, and maybe you’re right.
I was too young.” After all, didn’t Aiden say something along those same lines when we went out to dinner?
He pointed out that our years of separation had allowed me to spread my wings.
“And my friends were amazing. The whole experience of university was. I just wish I could have shared them with you. I just wish you were safe, not…”
She cupped my cheek, her touch gentle.
“It’s good you found Aiden,” she said, sending shock rolling through me.
“You mean it?” I breathed, blinking tears away.
She nodded. “I can see he’s nothing like him.”
It was the closest she’d come to referencing Duncan since Scotland. I took it as a good sign, hoping it meant she was on the road to recovery, especially now that she knew he could never come back to hurt her again.
“Aiden thought I was dead,” I rasped slowly, my chest trembling with emotions. “It hurt him. I hurt him, and reflecting back, I should have… I don’t know…”
“You should have stayed with him,” she finished for me. “But you’ve flourished, so I’m not sorry.”
“Yeah, I should have stayed with him,” I confirmed. “He would have protected us both, just like he’s proven now. But the past is past, and we should leave it there. Let’s look to the future.”
She nodded but didn’t say more. I let the silence settle between us.
Living in the past wouldn’t do us any good, and the journey brought us full circle.
Hell, I even learned a thing or two and grew up a bit along the way.
Maybe this was exactly as it was meant to be, and we should accept it for what it was.
A chance at a new life together.
“The body that the police found in the explosion…” I started. “Whose was it?”
Mom’s eyes filled with ghosts. “A dead woman I’d taken from the hospital morgue I worked at.”
My nose scrunched. “You must be joking.”
“I’m not,” she retorted flatly. “The same day that Jack Callahan visited me, I went to work for an hour and brought back a body.”
I stared at her in disbelief. “You didn’t.”
“Yes, I did. In every location we moved to, I always went for a janitor’s job at a hospital. Why do you think that was?”
“To… have access to… a dead body,” I said slowly, although this whole conversation seemed far-fetched.
She nodded.
“The plan was to fake both our deaths and start over. Of course, the whole plan derailed.”
“How did you survive? Couldn’t you have contacted me?”
She shrugged. “The world thought you dead, so I mourned you.”
“You should have told me. I could have helped you, Mom.”
“I didn’t want to attract any attention. Anyhow, it’s over.”
“Doesn’t make it right.” Her gaze shifted away from me and she stared off, her features going slack. “Mom, about your son—”
“No.”
My stomach twisted.
“What do you mean no?” She didn’t respond, but I couldn’t stop now. “He’s just a baby. Your son. My brother.”
“Monster.”
I breathed through my nose, grappling with what to do. I didn’t want to make things harder for her, and clearly, bringing up the baby upset her.
“I just need you to know something.” Her body tensed and I knew she was listening. “Aiden and I want to adopt him and raise him as our own. We already love him. He is innocent, in the same way you and I are.”
She looked away again, staring at the sunlight dancing across the cabin floor. “He’ll grow up to become like him. You can’t see it yet, but you will.”
God, my heart split in two for her. And the worst part was that I couldn’t even judge her for it. Duncan had put her through unimaginable hell.
“I only see you when I look at him,” I whispered. “And me. I see someone who needs love.”
She went quiet for a long while, and we sat in a silence that I didn’t know what to do with.
“He’s yours, then,” Mom said, her voice cracking.
“Mom—”
“I’m broken.” I reached over slowly, taking her hand and holding it gently as she went on. “I keep thinking I’m still in that house. I feel his hands on me even when I’m awake. All the babies he took from me…” She shook her head. “And now, I wish Duncan had taken this one.”
“You survived. He didn’t. Don’t let that bastard win. You have to live. It’s the best revenge.”
“I don’t want that child near me.” Her hand was trembling beneath mine. “I don’t want reminders. I don’t want this life.”
I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Then let’s make you a new one.”
Her eyes fluttered shut.
“You can go away,” I continued softly. “We’ll help you. Pick anywhere in the world. Maybe somewhere you’ve never been, where no one knows your name. Aiden can make it happen. But please, Mom, just live.”
She opened her eyes again, and this time I saw a flicker of longing in them. It could be exactly what she needed. A new life.
“I don’t want to be a mother anymore.”
I nodded. “You don’t have to be.”
Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “Do you hate me?”
“Never,” I said with passion. “You deserve to be selfish and live for yourself. You deserve peace.”
Heavy tears rolled down her cheeks.
“And he’ll be okay?” she rasped.
I smiled, though it was wobbly. “Yes. He’ll be loved, and if you’re ever ready, he’ll be here. Safe and cherished.”
Resolve flashed in her eyes and she nodded.
“Then please, help me disappear,” she said.
I leaned in and kissed her forehead, just like I had the night her son was born. “That’s exactly what we’ll do.”
She closed her eyes again, but this time her breath came easier. It was the first step toward her healing.