Seven
Sunday morning.
I'd barely slept.
I kept waking up every hour, maybe every half hour, not because I was uncomfortable but because I didn't want to miss any of this.
And I kept getting hard over and over again.
In the gray light seeping through the windows, my dresser drawers hung open and empty. The trunk was closed again, even though half my clothes were still packed at the bottom.
But I definitely wasn't going anywhere.
Nathan was warm and solid in my arms, letting me hold him. His beautiful body—that I'd been trying not to notice for two months—now pressed back against me. I was the big spoon, one arm wrapped around him, his hand holding mine against his chest. His heartbeat steady under my palm.
I pressed my nose against the back of his neck and breathed him in.
I resisted the urge to hump against him or touch him too much. I didn't want to wake him up just so we could do it again.
I actually didn't want this part to end.
I was already bracing for a letdown. Even if he didn't regret last night, he still might want things to go back to normal, the way a lot of guys did after hooking up.
He shifted, made a small sound, then yawned. His hand tightened around mine. He turned over to face me, his eyelashes still smudged with mascara.
I started to roll away, give him space so he wasn't horrified by my morning breath.
But he pulled me back. "Where are you going?" His voice was rough with sleep.
I gestured toward the trunk. "I was just gonna grab a smoke.”
"Don't. Stay." He wrapped his arm around my waist, his head settling into the crook of my shoulder.
We lay like that for a while, maybe ten minutes, maybe longer. I didn't want to move, didn't want to break whatever spell this was.
Eventually, he kissed me, soft and deliberate, no tongue.
I turned and looked at the clock on the nightstand. Nearly nine.
"As much as I could stay in this bed with you all day, I'm gonna need a vat of coffee as soon as possible."
He grinned and climbed over me to get out of bed. He looked around for a second, found his boxers on the floor, and stepped into them. I loved watching him move around our room, knowing I was allowed to.
He made a face. "Dining hall?"
"Hell no. I didn't mean a literal vat. Let's go downtown."
We weren't going to shower. Too hungover, too desperate for coffee. We'd just dress and go.
I picked up his sweater from the chair. "Can I wear this?" I pulled it on before he could answer. It was a little big on me. The sleeves were too long but I could push them up around my elbows. It smelled like him.
When I looked up, he was watching me, grinning.
"What?" I said.
"Nothing." But he was smiling.
His lips were swollen from all the making out last night—red and puffy and obvious.
"You're staring," he said.
"So are you."
We both looked away at the same time, grinning like idiots.
We set off from the back stairwell. It was officially November now and cold enough our breath fogged. The sky looked like it was about to rain.
When we passed Alex and Kelly's room and saw their lights were on, I asked, "Should we invite them?" I scrunched my nose. I didn't really want to.
He glanced at the window, then back at me. "Nah. Let's just let it be you and me."
And then he took my hand. Just like that. His fingers lacing through mine. No hesitation.
My face went hot, my heart pounding.
His cheeks were bright red too, his eyes shining.
I felt so fucking happy I almost couldn't breathe.
We'd barely made it ten steps when I heard someone call my name.
I turned to see Alex and Kelly coming out the back door of the building, rushing to catch up with us. They must've seen us walking past.
For half a second I felt awkward about Kelly seeing us holding hands, but Nathan didn't let go.
Alex raised an eyebrow as they got closer, glancing down at our joined hands, then back up at me. A slow smile spread across her face.
Kelly stumbled over her words the second she spotted it. "Hey, guys, we were just—morning—hi." She was trying a little too hard to act like she wasn't surprised. But she recovered quickly, her expression smoothing into something warm and friendly.
I caught the hurt in her eyes though, just a flash before she covered it up. But she was being sweet about it. She was never the enemy.
"Morning," Nathan said, like nothing had changed, like this was the most normal thing in the world.
We kept walking, all four of us together.
Alex fell into step beside me, leaning close. "You're wearing his sweater," she said quietly.
"Yeah." I couldn't help grinning.
"And holding his hand."
"Yeah." My cheeks were starting to hurt.
She gave me a shit-eating grin, then dropped her voice even lower. "I've been telling Kelly for weeks this was gonna happen."
I blinked. "You have?"
"Obviously. You two have been circling each other since move-in day." She squeezed my arm. "The minute I have you alone you are telling me every fucking thing and you better not leave out any details."
Downtown, the square had that Sunday morning quiet—most of the shops were still closed, and there weren't that many cars on the street. But the café was open and the tables outside were already full, the cool people claiming their spots, nursing coffee, smoking, talking.
Nobody cared about two guys holding hands.
Nathan and I got in line inside. It smelled like espresso, steamed milk, and pastries baking. My stomach growled.
He ordered for all of us—four coffees, four blueberry muffins—and grabbed a handful of creamers and sugar packets. I tried to pay again, but he waved me off. I carried two of the cups while he balanced the others with a paper bag.
When we came back out, Alex was already chatting up some people at one of the corner tables. They were getting ready to leave and she smoothly slid into a chair, pulling Kelly down beside her. Then she looked around for us and waved us over.
We sat down, Nathan beside me close enough that our knees pressed together, Alex and Kelly across from us.
Kelly was talking about a paper she had due, but I wasn't really paying attention.
I was just staring at Nathan—his hair sticking up from all the gel, the faint shadow of stubble on his jaw, the smudge of foundation still visible at his hairline, the gold ring in his hazel eyes catching the daylight.
He caught me looking and smiled.
I smiled back.
Under the table, his hand found mine again.
After we finished, Alex said she had an errand to run and asked Kelly if she wanted to come with her. Kelly hesitated, glancing at Nathan and me, then caught on that Alex was trying to give us some space.
"Catch up with you guys later," Alex said, smirking at me.
Nathan and I started walking back toward campus.
The route was the same as yesterday—past the vintage shop, the record store, the same old buildings. The leaves still crunched under our feet.
But I was holding Nathan's hand, and that seemed to change everything.
"So," I said, trying to sound casual. "Does this mean you're… out now?"
He chuckled. His cheeks turned red again. "I guess so."
"Just like that, huh?"
“Well.” He shrugged, his smile widening. “I’m working on it.”
I looked down at our hands, his thumb rubbing across my knuckles.
I started thinking about the summer—how we could drive down to New Orleans like he’d mentioned, spend a week just being tourists together before coming back to look for work.
We could get summer jobs, and find a real place off-campus for next year.
Somewhere with a kitchen where we could actually cook for ourselves instead of having to go to the dining hall.
Our own apartment.
Our own real place.
Back in our room, I moved the ashtray off the trunk and flipped open the lid. I looked down at all the shit I'd thrown in there last night and sighed.
“I’m gonna need to put on some music first."
Without a word, he started picking up stacks of my clothes, refolding a few things.
"You were really gonna leave?" he asked, not looking up.
"I wanted to. For about an hour.”
He shook his head, grinning. "Where exactly were you planning on going?”
I didn't mention Tyler or the commune. "Pitch a tent somewhere on North Campus, I guess."
He rolled his eyes. "So dramatic."
"I was devastated,” I said. "You and Kelly had just gotten engaged in the lobby of the Majestic.”
He looked at me, his expression softening. "I would've never let you go anyway."
I couldn't speak for a second. "Oh really? How would you have stopped me?"
His mouth curved into a grin. He set down the clothes and reached for the hem of the sweater, pulling me close. “Seduce you. Trap you here in this room with never-ending mind-blowing sex."
I kissed him.
When we broke apart, he said, "I like seeing you in my sweater.”
His eyes.
His mouth.
I could've looked at him like this forever. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." He smiled at me. "So what are we listening to?"
My first love was my college roommate.