Chapter 1 Mercer
Mercer
The day Gawain Piazzi waltzed back into my life, things definitely looked up.
My high school crush stepped into Fifties Diner just as I was leaving. I halted, nearly knocking Sarabeth off her feet.
Gawain smiled as he caught my stare. “Going somewhere?”
“I was about to go home.”
Sarabeth scooted around me and headed into the main dining area. “Careful, Mercer.”
Whether she was warning me about standing in the middle of the diner, gaping like a landed fish, or she was warning me to protect my vulnerable heart, I couldn’t be certain.
Gawain sized me up—his gaze raking up and down my body.
I did my best not to harden under the scrutiny. I wasn’t a fifteen-year-old boy anymore. I was twenty-eight. A man. The man in my house.
Which left an ache in my chest. I would’ve done anything to have my parents back, but life hadn’t worked out like that. They were gone. I ran the business and supported my three younger siblings.
Life moved on.
Except at this moment, when I wanted to rewind to high school graduation.
I’d come within a breath of telling Gawain how I felt about him.
Then his twin brother had tackled him, and the moment had been lost forever.
Both men had fallen entirely off my radar as neither had, to the best of my knowledge, returned to Mission City.
Apparently, our little corner of southwest British Columbia didn’t merit a visit.
Either that, or I’d been so wrapped up in my grief that no one else had mattered.
Well, Andie, Korden, and Deanna mattered.
All three of my siblings had managed to graduate high school.
Korden had even finished college and was working as a medical assistant in a lab in nearby Vancouver.
Andie and Deanna were still toiling away, racking up huge tuition bills as they went.
But one was on track to be a vet, and one was going to be a pilot. So, money well spent.
“Mercer, right?” Gawain gazed at me with those piercing dark-brown eyes of his. He was Italian on his father’s side and Welsh on his mother’s.
“Yeah. I’m amazed you remember me.” We hadn’t been close. At least not as close as I’d hoped we might be.
Gawain waved me off. “I remember everyone from high school. Mission City Collegiate all the way, right?”
“Sure.”
He and Giovani had been popular in high school. I…hadn’t been.
Sarabeth reappeared. “Table for one?” She gazed at Gawain, just as handsome as ever.
In turn, he looked at me. “Keep me company? I mean, if you don’t mind me eating in front of—”
“It’s fine.” Oh my God, oh my God, stay calm. “I still have a bit of room. Might have a milkshake.” I’d put in a long day at work. Stopping for a quick chili dog had been a treat. Staying for a blueberry milkshake and some time with my former crush would totally be worth it.
“Great.” He turned his attention back to Sarabeth. “Booth for two.”
She indicated toward the back. “Any of the two-seaters on the left.”
Gawain looped his arm in mine and coaxed me to the last booth at the back.
I removed my jacket and slid in opposite him, only then noticing the paint stain on my shirt. Too late to put the jacket back on…hopefully he won’t notice…
He snagged a menu and started perusing. “You know, I don’t think anything’s changed in the last ten years.”
I have. I’ve changed. I’m a different person. But I wouldn’t say that. “I think they’ve added a couple of milkshake flavors.”
He glanced at the list, running his finger down it—his long, sexy finger.
What would it be like if he— “I think I’m going to have the steak dinner. A good T-bone will fill me right up.” He patted his flat stomach.
My cock jumped to life. The man was just as attractive as he’d been in high school. Filled out, perhaps. A bit more heft to the bulk—but in all the good ways.
“What can I get you?” Sarabeth placed two glasses of ice water before us, then held her pen over her notebook, ready to take our order.
“T-bone,” Gawain said, “with mashed potatoes, a side of corn, extra gravy, and a biscuit.”
She grinned. “That’s great.” She pivoted to me.
“Just the blueberry milkshake.”
“Perfect.” She snagged our menus and headed back toward the kitchen.
I clasped my hands together under the table to keep from shaking.
“So, last I heard, you were heading to Bishop’s.
I can’t believe it’s been ten years, and not a word.
Not that I expected you to keep in touch or anything,” I added quickly.
Gawain had headed to Bishop’s University in Québec, and Gio had taken off to parts unknown.
Backpacking in the Andes, I’d last heard. Of course, that had been ten years ago.
“Bishop’s? Right. University.” He scratched his nose. “Well, you might not know that Mom and Dad moved to Italy to care for my grandparents—my dad’s parents. They decided to stay and are there now.”
I hadn’t known that, but perhaps that explained the absence. “So, what did you wind up studying?”
His nose twitched. “Asian cultural studies and languages. I focused on Japanese.”
“Wow, that’s amazing. Did you wind up visiting there?”
“I lived there. For the past six years.”
My eyes widened. “Oh, wow, that’s so cool. Can you say something in Japanese?”
He cocked his head. “Plenty of things. But not right now. I’m... tired, you know? It’s been a long trip.”
“I can only imagine. You live there now? Why are you in Mission City?”
“No…” He rubbed his forehead. “I was living there. Now, I’m…home.” He gazed up at me with pleading dark-brown eyes. “Just…a fresh start.”
I couldn’t conceive of why he might need one, but I didn’t know what he’d been up to.
I wanted to make some kind of joke, but figured it would either wind up being culturally insensitive or generally inappropriate.
I had a bad habit of putting my foot in my mouth, which was why I mixed the paint in the back of the store while my trusty assistant, Yamish, handled the customers out front.
That had been my mom’s job back in the day.
I’d been in my second year of biochemistry, hoping to get into medical school.
A long shot, but one I’d clung to. Instead, I’d quit school, took over the store, and set about raising my three younger siblings.
I’d always been the responsible oldest child, but even I had been unprepared to deal with three traumatized and grieving children.
We’d survived.
Mostly.
I’d become a recluse and only ate at Fifties on nights when store sales were excellent, and I needed company without actually being obliged to interact with anyone other than Sarabeth.
Gawain reached out his hand to grasp mine, startling me. “What about you? I’m so out of touch.”
“Nothing major.” I waved him off with my other hand, not wanting to sever our connection.
“I may not be the most sensitive—”
“But you are,” I countered. “You were always so understanding. Willing to listen. Do you remember when Tanner hurt his wrist in sixth grade? You stayed by his side while your brother ran for help. You comforted him as he cried.”
“You remember that?”
I remember everything about you. That moment had solidified my crush on him. “Yeah, a little. Tanner’s married now. To Kade. Nita’s older brother.”
My dinner companion blinked. “Yeah, okay. I remember Kade coming out when he was in high school. Pretty brave around here.”
As he continued to hold my hand, I knew I had to do it. To be honest with him. “I came out in my first year of university. I was at the University of British Columbia, and another guy in my dorm was out—”
“Did you date him?”
“Uh, no. He was…as shy as I was…” Shy wasn’t the right word, but I wasn’t going to use the word bottom. That sometimes freaked out straight people.
Still, Gawain didn’t release my hand. “You came out…”
“And the next year, my parents died in a terrible wreck on the highway.”
His grip on my hand tightened. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t hear.”
“Well, why would you? You were on the other side of the country by then.”
“I was…right. Of course, studying at university.”
“And you won’t remember, but I have a younger brother and two younger sisters.”
He winced. “Yeah, I didn’t remember that.”
“One blueberry milkshake and one T-bone dinner.”
Gawain released my hand, of course, but I missed the warmth.
The connection. I had so little of that in my life these days.
I tried to hug my siblings whenever I could—Mom and Dad had been big huggers—but they resisted for the most part.
Well, Andie would accept and roll her eyes.
I didn’t have powerful memories of my grandparents.
One set had been back in Manitoba, and the others, my Dad’s parents, had passed when I was quite young.
He’d been an only child, and Mom hadn’t been close with her sister back on the prairies.
When my parents died, no adult had come to rescue us. So I’d become the rescuer.
“Anything else I can get you, gentlemen?” Sarabeth’s wide smile hid her own problems at home.
A sick mom and a neurodivergent younger brother.
She’d worked here since she’d been legally allowed and struggled to pay the mounting bills.
I was pretty certain she had no idea how much I’d gleaned from our interactions over the years.
“This is perfect.” Gawain offered a wide smile with perfect, white teeth.
“Yes, thanks, Sarabeth.” I snagged the glass and the straw in the wrapper. I wasn’t a huge fan of paper straws, but I understood the world I wanted to leave for my siblings and their future kids. I wouldn’t be having any. I wanted to…but that wasn’t in the cards.
“Hey.” Gawain gently tipped my chin up so I met his gaze. “What’s up?”
I tried to smile. “I hate paper straws. Do they have them in Japan? I understand the environmental impact of plastic, but the paper gets soggy. And if it takes a long time for you to finish your drink—”
He shoved a forkful of steak into his mouth and grinned as he chewed.